Confused
by Commander Fiction
Summary: When a klingon general attempts to take over the Enterprise, the trio is dragged and tossed forth into a blinding set of events that pull Jim further and further down and is left questioning his crew, his friends, his career, even his own identity as he struggles to get through each hardship and Bones is left to wonder if Jim will ever make it through in one piece. Jim&Bones.Whump.
1. Someday

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"_ _Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 1: 'Someday'** ** _Nickelback_**

A whimper makes its way through his lips. His lungs claw for the much needed oxygen. Ribs ache and crack as he moves his upper body. His chest tightens with each wheeze and movement.

It's not worth it anymore. Oh god, he's fading. He can't see.

He doesn't want the darkness, he doesn't deserve it, but it comes. The darkness doesn't even knock; it invites itself into his vision. The darkness steals the last of his breath.

He's not breathing now. His eyes refuse to open, his ears are unhearing.

Is he dead? He's not sure yet.

He can't feel his legs, their numb, cold. His arms don't move either; they feel sluggish, as if he was drunk.

Suddenly his lips part without warning and liquid is flooding down. He's drowning, he's sure of it.

That's odd, he didn't recall going to the beach for a swim.

The water barely makes it all the way down. He sputters, coughing. Even though the experience was overwhelming, he feels relieved somewhat. He's breathing now; cool oxygen swirling down his throat.

He lays there, invisible to reality. He feels unreal, fake, almost lonely. It's like he's a book, waiting for someone to notice the collecting dust.

Pressure starts to build up on his side. At first it's just burning, but the pain increases. His lips open, letting out a cry. He doesn't know how loud his scream was, because he still can't hear.

Feeling is coming back now, almost too quickly. His brain is assessing the damage, taking into count every ache, burn, or sting.

He cringes slightly. Something's touching him. The touch is warm and sticky, but gentle. More cries escape, he doesn't know why though.

Bursts of agony erupt, surging through his core.

His body curls. He's in a tight ball, flinching from the touch. Hands are grabbing him, he doesn't want them to, they're causing him pain.

Sound is coming through. Voices, they're murmuring, some screaming. There's sirens, he can hear them. They're loud, distracting.

His name, someone says his name. He can't focus though. His eyes still won't open. His name again is called softly, barely above a whisper, or so he thought.

A hand brushes his face, drumming against his cheek. He wants to call out, to see the hand, the person. But he can't.

He lets out another scream. He's not sure why, but he can feel it. It feels like a laser, burrowing its way into his ribs. It doesn't seem to stop.

His lips crack open, he speaks but he's not sure if it was audible. He tries again.

"Stop." Comes a hoarse voice. He's not sure if it's his, it sounded detached, fragile, weak.

"Jim." A voice replies, the name was said soothingly, like a mother to her child.

He moans, he wants to hear his name again. He wants the voice to continue, to bring him back. But silence only follows.

His body starts to shake. Why? He's not quite sure. His breath comes in hiccups, each time his body slightly convulses.

He's tired now, terribly exhausted. But he's tired of darkness, he despises it now. He wants to see, he's ready.

Blue eyes flutter open, but they close quickly. He couldn't make out what he just saw, it was too bright. He attempts again, this time with more success.

There's a ceiling, it's white, lights shining down. He wants to move his head, but he can't, it's too heavy. He looks to the side, only more white walls. He looks to his right, this time a blue blob is there.

He squints, the blob doesn't come into focus, but it becomes larger and makes noises.

He's not quite sure if he can understand what it's saying, but it seems genuinely concerned. It keeps coming closer until its hands are upon him. He flinches, he longs to run, but his body is still incapacitated.

Slowly the figure becomes clearer, it's someone he knows. That face, he knows it. The man had his typical scowl upon his face, his disapproving glance, and his strong stature. He knew him.

What did he call this man? He knew it, but the name wouldn't surface.

"Jim." The voice said and continued to speak, but he only focused on his name.

His face scrunched up, he wishes to remember, but the universe isn't that kind.

"…stop fighting." The man murmurs, his tone sounding exasperated.

He hadn't realized, but the voice's right. He's still pushing and thrashing. He stops now, his eyes barely managing to stay open.

"Jim, look at me." And again, damn this man seems determined to get his attention.

He turns slightly, his neck tightening as he does so. The figure smiles. He knows him, the brown hair, the grizzled beard, the unbearable eyes.

"Bones." He states and the Doctor chuckles.

"Jim, I'm here." Bones replies, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

He smirks, but his face screws over in pain afterwards. His breath hitches and suddenly he's turning blue. His throat's burning now, he's choking.

Hurriedly Bones rolls him onto his side and the bile rushes from his lips and onto the ground.

He's in tremendous pain, his body is shaking again, uncontrollably so.

"Hurts." He manages to groan and he felt the hands try to help him, but it only caused more pain.

Why did he feel so much pain? What happened?

"Jim, I need you to calm down. You're alright." The voice is faded, but equally concerned.

"Jim, you're having a panic attack. I need you to focus…" Bones is trying, but failing.

He's hyperventilating, his body kicking and thrashing. Hands wash over him, pulling him onto his back.

One hand clasps over his mouth.

Great, now he can't breathe.

"Jim, breathe through your nose." The voice commands him.

He doesn't comply; he's tired, confused, weary. He keeps fighting, pushing the evil hand away.

"Breathe through your nose… why are you so stubborn?" Bones mutters.

Finally, he listens. He breathes through his nostrils. He feels relieved, but the pain doesn't ease.

"There you go kid." Bones says with a thankful sigh.

He just moans. It's hard to stay awake, and he's still unsure of what's going on. He tilts his head, gazing at Bones' worried expression.

Bones smiles back and removes his hand from his lips.

"We're stuck Jim, crashed. She crashed Jim… we crashed her." Bones mutters, filling in the blank but also giving him a wash of regret and stupidity.

He remembers now, not too clearly, but just the gist.

"Crashed…?" He manages to mumble, his voice above a whisper and only croak.

"Yes Jim, we crashed the Enterprise." Bones says, and then remorsefully regrets saying so.

He has to get up. His ship needs him.

He yelps as he pushes off of the ground. He's dizzy, not coherent. Hands grab him and push him back down. He fights, he needs to get up.

Why the hell is Bones fighting him?

"Bones!" He barely gets out, his voice is cracked.

"Jim, there's nothing we can do!" Bones snaps angrily.

He shakes his head. Bones is wrong. She's not gone. She can't be gone. He wants to convey his thoughts but he can't, his voice is gone, his eyes refuse to remain open.

"Jim! Jim stay with me, you can't sleep, not yet kid." Bones is telling him, but he's losing the battle.

Suddenly he's jabbed in the side. He cries out, tears pooling in his eyes.

"Ahh…Bones…hurts…mhmmm…" He complains and he feels the pressure ease.

"Sorry, I had to keep you awake." Bones apologizes quickly.

"Have…help…her…" He's babbling now, becoming slightly delirious.

"Jim I need you to hang on a bit longer okay? I'm almost done clearing the doorway." Bones informs him and he cranes his neck towards the door.

Where the hell are we?

The door is blocked by wreckage. Piles of steel, broken furniture, and electrical wires are tangled up.

"Where's help?" He grumbles and Bones looks his way briefly before continuing to the door.

"Not coming fast enough obviously." The Doctor responds sharply.

Bones goes further down the room until he reaches the door; he then begins to move things around, clearing a path.

He lies there, immobilized. Why can't he move?

He lifts his head and stares at his body. His pants are shredded; fragments of metal are sticking out of his legs. His arms are sliced from ruptured glass and his torso is bruised. He wants to know what his head looks like, but he can't see it, obviously.

He eases back down, his head is throbbing. Steady drums beat against his skull. He feels helpless, pathetic almost.

He shifts a little, trying to get comfortable upon the floor, it's an impossible task. It keeps him occupied though. After minutes of restless movements, he glances over at Bones.

Bones is still working, his focus on the wreckage at hand.

He smirks.

Adrenaline starts to flow. It's not enough, but he makes it work. Ungracefully he brings himself into a sitting position.

His vision spins, his head pounds. It's not a good combination.

His stomach lurches now and stomach acid spews from his mouth. He barely notices the blue figure coming to his side.

"Moron." Bones grumbles to himself.

"Can't…breathe." He states as his chest restricts and his lungs start to scream.

"You need to lie back down." Bones tells him and begins to help him lie down.

He fights.

God, why does he keep fighting Bones? It's becoming a bad habit.

He can't help it, he hates it, he doesn't want it. He wants to get up, to save his ship, his crew. But he can't, that scares him.

"Damn it Jim, stop struggling." Bones grinds his teeth.

The hands are becoming rougher, they were no longer gentle. They lost their touch.

"Oww! Bones stop! Bones…stop!" He cries out, he's kicking now, pushing Bones away.

One flailing limb manages to smack Bones in the face. The Doctor stumbles back, dazed slightly.

He gets up, taking advantage of the moment. But he takes longer to get up then he thought. The moment he stands, he's grabbed by two strong arms.

He's put into a bear hug, he can't escape, he can't breathe.

"…Bones…" He croaks.

He's slipping away now, his knees giving out.

The arms catch him; bring him into a comfortable position. His eyes flicker open, Bones is staring down at him. The Doctor's lip is bleeding, but he doesn't seem to mind.

He tries to speak, but only a hiccup escapes.

"I know Jim, I know. Just breathe kid." Bones says softly, holding him in his arms.

Bones scans him over, he's afraid for him. He's bloody, his face hardly recognizable. His body is tattered with bruises and cuts. His legs are falling apart, broken bones and shrapnel. His arms have the least damage, just a few probable fractures and slices.

The Doctor sighs and he sees the distress. Now he's stressed, his emotions are going overboard.

He can't remember, he doesn't know why the Enterprise has crashed, but he's certain it was his fault.

He was supposed to protect her, supply her, nurture her.

He failed, miserably. He's sure of it.

A slight shift causes him to shake. His body feels like it's shutting down. There's nothing Bones can do. Bones doesn't want to let go of him. He feels safe wrapped up in his friend's loving arms.

A tear slips through; Bones sees it and wipes it from his cheek.

"We failed her Jim. I don't think she's pulling through this one." Bones tells him, stroking the side of his face.

He closes his eyes, Bones doesn't protest. This scares him.

Does Bones realize that he's fading? Does he believe that he's a goner?

Even with the terrifying thought, his eyes don't open, they remain closed. They feel too heavy to lift anyways. Maybe Bones knows this and is only letting him have a quiet break. He's not sure though.

Whatever the cause of Bones absence, it doesn't matter anymore. He's falling away, no plans of returning.

He's okay with it.

He tried his best, and his best wasn't good enough. He accepts this, but not truly.

He was pretty sure James Tiberius Kirk didn't give up, but then again he wasn't sure of anything nowadays.

Now he's slightly panicked. He had no idea what was going on. How did the Enterprise crash? Why were he and Bones all alone? Where was everyone?

These thoughts left him confused…very confused.

 **Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry if you find the writing style slightly annoying or just completely intolerable, I'm just trying something new. I want to know if you like it or not, please just leave a comment I don't care if you're a hater or a lover, just leave the review. And yes, there's more to come, I want to know what you think should happen next, because honestly I have no idea where I'm going with this. Well thanks for reading and have Happy Dayz 4 Life!**


	2. Unsteady

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 2: 'Unsteady' _X Ambassadors_**

Blue eyes crack open, welcoming the scarce light. It was silent, completely silent, something he couldn't handle. He parts his mouth to utter words, but only a hoarse croak follows. He's parched, throat dried and coarse.

His lips twitch and his jaw trembles. He's alone, absolutely alone.

Muscles straining, he rolls his head to the right, there's nothing but zapping fuzzes and an empty hallway stretched out before him.

Where's Bones?

His heart pounds, his head aches. The doorway is clear now, revealing the escape.

But where's Bones?

His breaths quicken. It's dark, silent, and empty.

He swallows the little saliva in his mouth and blinks a few times. His vision doesn't change, surprisingly so. Grinding his teeth, he props himself up slowly, his muscles and bones alike screaming at him to stop.

He releases a few wheezes as his vision takes a swim and his breath takes a hike. Several moments pass before he can regain his bearings. When he does, he blinks his lashes and looks over to his escape route. Its all clear, all he has to do is get up and walk through the door. Easier said than done, that's for sure.

With a grunt, he pushes himself up.

His breath hitches and he cries out. Legs collapsing, he lands back onto the cold floor, soft muffled whimpers escaping from his lips.

Pain was rushing through his bones, shaking his core. His legs are rebellious, unresponsive when he tries to curl up into a ball.

One by one he brings his knees up to his chest by using his arms. The pain was almost paralyzing, but he grinds his teeth and bites his lip.

He can get through this. He has too. If he died who would save the Enterprise?

That was the only thought that kept him motivated.

He had to keep pushing, if he remained here he would fall unconscious again and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't wake up again.

He has to get up.

His subconscious screams at him to move, but it's a slow process as he stretches his legs back out. With each excruciating flex, he gathers himself into a sitting position again. He glances around, scanning the room for anything.

A satisfied grin crosses his face, in the corner there's a large broken pipe that he can use for support. He shifts his jaw slightly as he rolls onto his stomach and begins to drag his half broken body across the floor.

Bones would definitely disapprove of this. Speaking of Bones, where the hell is he?

The thought frightened him. Bones would only leave him if it's very urgent and screw him if it isn't something urgent.

With a final push, he makes it to his destination. His once pained expression turns into a grin as he props himself up with the pipe.

His legs were shaking now, wobbly at the knees. He clenches his teeth and fears for the worst as he completely straightens his stiff legs. When he realizes he hasn't fallen over, he chuckles to himself.

Finally, some luck around here…where exactly is here?

He glances around only this time like a child who has just realized their mother was no longer nearby. Fear wrenches itself into the pit of his stomach. The room almost seems to close in on itself, darkness creeping from its corners.

Yep, he was getting the hell out of here.

Releasing a few held breaths, he begins his trek to the doorway, each step causing waves of pain and nausea. Halfway through he collapses, lungs wheezing, and face cringing. His breaths are shaky, too shaky.

His vision decides to take a vacation, a long one this time, somewhere off in paradise. His stomach as well takes leave, and dumps its contents onto the floor.

He lies there until he has retched up the rest of his stomach acid. His nostrils fill with the tangy smile of his own puke, leaving his stomach unsettled.

He feels like crying now, just to stop moving and give up all the cares he has. Bones has left him, screwed him over. What is worth fighting for? The Enterprise? Pshh, the Enterprise is just another scrap-car in the junkyard now. Old Bessie ain't making it through this one.

Now his own thoughts disgust him. How can he think like this? The Enterprise needs him, and he needs her. And that was that. There's no way around it.

Some motivation begins to stir, causing him to groan at himself. He has to get up sooner or later.

Summoning the little strength that's left, he gets up and takes his first steps forward. They're a bit wobbly, rattling his nerves. He braves through it, clenching his teeth until his lips start to bleed.

He's barely breathing as he finally makes it to the doorway, relief washing over him briefly. He edges his way around the remaining wreckage and collapses into the smoky hallway. He wheezes for breath as he looks back, the doorway stretches out before him, blackness consuming the inside. He glances around for a room name, but finds none.

Well, that's odd. Who has an unlabeled room? Not even as much as a room number. Well, screw it, he doesn't have time for this, the Enterprise needs him.

With a yelp he brings himself back to his feet, his legs shaking more than ever. His face was so white he could've blended in with the walls if it wasn't for his bright yellow shirt.

He grunts as he takes a few strides forward and pauses to catch his breath which seemed to be caught at the back of his throat. His vision blurs slightly and his legs sway, but he steadies himself against a wall before he can pass out.

His stomach twists and his lungs pause, he turns a little blue. Panic blossoms in his chest. He would hyperventilate if he could. He can almost hear Bones' voice now.

 _"Jim! Just breathe damn it! Stupid bastard…in and out Jim, in and out."_

The imaginative voice was soothing despite its absence in reality. Slowly but surely air begins to flow steadily back through his nostrils and his stomach unwinds.

Cautiously he slides to the floor, his gaze is distant and his ears are unaware of the approaching footsteps.

He's suddenly weary. It's as if all the adrenaline has left his body at the same time. His light blue eyes start to close as a pair of hands jostles him awake.

"Jim! Jim, stay with me!" A voice shouts carefully, as if not wanting to be too loud.

"Bones…?" He slurs, it was half between a statement and a question, he isn't quite sure what his own brain is thinking at this moment.

"Yes Jim, it's me. Now c'mon, we don't have much time." Bones replies and hurriedly gets his arm around his shoulders.

Bones gets to his feet, barely managing to pull the dead weight and support both of them.

He gasps slightly as his legs straighten and Bones sets a steady pace. Not too fast, not too slow. He would have complained and protested, but Bones seems somewhat worried, so he decides he should just keep his mouth shut. This worries Bones.

He's too quiet.

"Somethin' wrong Jim?" Bones almost grumbles, but there's still a hint of worry in his tone.

"Fine." He mutters through clenched teeth, wincing with each step.

"Look, just a little further Jim, I just need to get you to sickbay. I can explain everything there." Bones informs him, and he just nods.

Sounds good.

He thought he said it, but apparently not. Bones glances over at him to make sure he's still conscious.

"Okay…" He whispers.

He didn't mean to sound so weak, hopeless, fragile. But that's how it came out. His cheeks flush a little bit with embarrassment, but Bones pretends not to notice.

"Almost there." Bones breathes as he hulls him along.

His eyes are drooping, closing, watering. He can't help but drag his feet. His steps are becoming heavier, slower, louder. Bones just keeps trudging along, ignoring the signs.

After ten long empty-hearted minutes of walking, he's too tired to go on. He grabs Bones' shirt with a wheeze, leaning heavily upon Bones, and the Doctor pauses.

"Bones…I can't…" He chokes out, squeezing his eyes shut after a few long moments.

Bones lets out a sigh.

"Alright, we'll rest for a little bit." Bones replies and eases him down against the wall. Bones then plops down beside him.

He leans into Bones' shoulder; he feels comfort, relief, safety. Bones is his temporary shelter from life, from reality.

He's thankful. He wouldn't know what to do without his caring friend beside him.

Blue eyes are closing, they're tired, they've had a long day. All this looking around stuff is making him feel drowsy.

"Jim, try to keep your eyes open kid. Can you do that for me?" Bones asks softly, nudging his shoulder.

He just moans, he doesn't want to, but he obeys. He trusts Bones' judgment, plus if he fell asleep who would save the Enterprise? The thought keeps his boat afloat.

A challenge, he's always up for a challenge.

"Of course Bones…" He mumbles, almost forgetting to reply.

Bones just smiles and gives him a hair ruffling.

"That's a good Jim." The Doctor responds and relaxes a little.

He shifts slightly, his bones aching. It's a hurt he can't stop, like a cancer spreading through his body. He needs more energy, but there's nothing to offer him but rest.

Bones glances his way, seeing his expression screwed over in thought.

"What are you thinking Jim?" Bones pries and begins to analyze his reaction.

He moves, almost uncomfortable with the question. He shouldn't be, it's Bones. He trusts Bones.

"It's…it's j-just…the Enterprise…" His voice trails, his eyes lower and his head hangs.

Bones' lips twitch in pity.

He feels strong arms wrap around his chest and pull him closer. He's leaning onto Bones fully now, listening to his friend's steady heartbeat compared to his rapid one.

He's safe. For now.

His eyes shut. He's in trouble now. Bones grumbles at him, it's something incoherent, well at least to him.

A sharp pain from his side causes his eyes to pop and he yelps.

"If you wouldn't fall asleep I wouldn't have to do that." Bones tells him, but he's still trying to catch his breath.

"Please…stop." He whispers through gulps of air, his side still flaming with pain.

Bones feels extremely guilty now.

He's in pain, wheezing for breath and his only friend just causes him pain to keep him awake. Exactly how not to have friends.

Bones clenches his teeth in thought.

"Bones…?" He mumbles, slurring the ending.

"Yeah Jim?" Bones questions, looking down upon him.

"Its okay, even though you were being a lil' shit." He mutters and Bones offers a chuckle.

"Oh, Jim, you're a real bastard ya'know?" Bones says, his eyes beating down on his skull.

He shifts to look up at him, a little smile forming on his cracked lips.

"I know, Bones…I know." He replies and relaxes back down, his breaths coming more steadily.

Bones senses his relief and does the same. Bones' arms are still around him, keeping him close. He likes it, he prefers it, but he won't tell Bones that.

A hoarse wheeze escaping his lips tells Bones that he's having trouble breathing. More than likely those damn bruised ribs of his.

Bones moves his body slightly upwards and he fearfully grasps Bones' shirt at the tense movement.

"Jeez, a lil' warning would be nice." He snaps in a gulp of air, wincing at his paining sides.

Bones just stares at him, a slight frown edging his lips.

"Sorry." He mutters sorrowfully, seeing Bones' scowl.

Bones is just trying to help. Don't be a little asshole about it.

"I think we've done enough apologizing in one day." Bones laughs.

He just smirks. He has no energy; even the slight jostle of Bones' laughter causes him pain.

"Few more minutes Jim, then we gotta keep moving." Bones informs him.

He doesn't want to get up. He doesn't want the moment to end. He doesn't want to come back to reality. He doesn't want to face his fears…his anxieties.

But deep down he knows he has to do it, if not for Bones, Scotty, Spock, or even himself, he has to do it for her, the Enterprise. She deserves better, far better.

He failed her didn't he? He crashed her into the ground, no hopes, dreams, or magic could get her afloat. She's done, down and out. How could he live with this thought? How can he carry on?

His breathing must have escalated because Bones, as if a loving mother, brought him closer, if that was even possible.

His muscles tense when he feels a hand in his hair, but the motion is not to hurt, but bring comfort. His muscles release the built up tension and the hand brushes his blood and sweat soaked hair.

It's soothing. Who knew such a simple motion could bring about such comfort?

A whimper, which was meant to be a sigh, whistles through his lips. Blue eyes are still fading, but they remember their order from Bones.

Keep em puppies open.

He blinks heavily, swallowing the little saliva in his mouth.

Bones wishes he had water. Water would really help right now. But they had none. Once they reached sickbay Bones could treat him and give him some water. Until then they just have to hold on.

"Bones?" He says in a slur, tugging the Doctor's shirt like an infant to its mother. Okay, that simile is a little weird.

Bones looks down, no need for words.

"Let's go…" He mutters, giving a weak smile that was meant to reassure Bones, not worry him more.

"Alright." Bones grumbles, not wanting to argue, this might be their only chance.

Slowly Bones sets him aside.

He glances up, watching Bones stretch his muscles before helping him to his feet.

"Ahh!" He yelps and Bones catches him before he hits the ground.

"Sorry Jim, I should've had a better grip on you." Bones apologizes.

He grits his teeth, shutting his eyes.

"I thought you said no more apologies." He replies, his voice barely making it through the wincing.

"You're right, I did, didn't I?" Bones voices, but he doesn't reply.

Bones smirks. His arm wraps around Bones' shoulders for support. Bones then holds his hand and the other arm goes around his chest.

"There you go Jim, easy now." Bones tells him, slowly setting the pace.

He walks along, leaning heavily upon his partner. He feels slightly guilty for being such a burden. Bones senses his guilt, but doesn't say anything. Conversations are tiring.

He starts to grind his teeth again, pain blossoming in his chest. His teeth should be flat by the end of the day at this rate.

"Breathe Jim." Bones reminds him, something that no one should have to be reminded of.

He just nods his head, but his breathing doesn't improve, it just worsens.

"Look Jim, calm down and breathe through your nose, or we'll have to stop walking." Bones notifies him.

His head nods slowly. He clamps his mouth shut and releases a breath through his nose. Bones smiles in approval.

"Better." The Doctor mutters and continues to listen to his breathing.

His breathing slowly comes into a pattern, nothing healthy, but good enough to keep going. That's all they need.

They walk in silence, no words are uttered, just empty thoughts. His breathing already made so much noise, Bones feels like they don't need to make more noise by talking.

His steps are heavy, but efficient. The distance is closing. Sickbay was only a few minutes away. There's a pause. Bones' heart skips a beat.

"Jim?" Bones says, staring over at him.

He's bent over, his grip on Bones' loosens. His arms shoot out and take the impact of the fall. He's coughing terribly and what comes out makes Bones' stomach twist into a tight knot.

It's blood.

Blood is splattering everywhere. Bones' mouth clamps shut. Now they really need to make it back to sickbay.

"Shit Jim. I didn't know it was this bad." Bones mutters and helps him sit upright.

He licks his lips, the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

"Well now you do." He replies hoarsely, feeling lightheaded, something that Bones would say is a common result after puking up your own blood.

"C'mon, we need to get you to sickbay." Bones tells him and picks him up.

His arm is slung around Bones' shoulder, the other is just dangling. Bones carries him, one arm underneath his legs and the other wrapped around his chest.

"Bones…put me down…I'm not a baby…" He mumbles, its barely audible but Bones gets the gist.

He's mumbling complaints and he's being carried like a child. I'm pretty sure Bones has a pretty good guess at what he's fussing about.

"I'm not letting you walk Jim. You just coughed up your own blood. That means there's internal bleeding." Bones informs him.

His face screws over. Eternal bleeding? That's a bit extreme.

"I don't think I'm gonna bleed for the rest of eternity Bones." He mumbles and Bones just rolls his eyes.

"I said internal, not eternal. Moron." The Doctor replies and continues to walk towards sickbay.

He's heavy in Bones' arms, but somehow Bones manages. It must be the adrenaline coursing through Bones' veins, there's no other way.

Bones is like some sort of superhuman. Maybe Bones is related to superman. He wouldn't be surprised.

He knows he would do the same if they were reversed, if Bones was the one dying in his arms. Yes, he would carry him to sickbay, he wouldn't know what to do with all the flippin' hypos but yeah, he would get him there.

He smiles at his own kind thoughts.

See, he's not that bad of person, a bit rusty here and there, that's all.

He's in deep thought when Bones stops. He gazes drowsily up at the Doctor.

"We made it, we're at sickbay." Bones says with a smile.

 **Author's Note: Hey guys here's another chapter! I still don't know where I'm going with this, but I promise it'll be cleared up soon. I don't know how long this is gonna be, but I guess until it just comes to an end right? Well please review and thanks for reading! And I'd like to thank everyone that has favorited, followed, or commented! You're too kind :)**


	3. Wake Me Up

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 3: 'Wake Me Up' _Aloe Blacc_**

"Bones…stop! Bones! Oww!" He yelps and squirms underneath the hands.

They're supposed to be gentle, they aren't today. The hands are in a bad mood.

"Stop your flinching baby." Bones replies ruggedly, bags forming under his eyes.

Bones is tired, too tired.

He releases a stressed filled pant and gazes up at Bones. He's stripped down to his boxers, lying on the cold examination table. Sweat was pooling underneath him and it glistened down his bare sides. Usually this is the time for some hilarious sexual jokes, but the pain is unbearable and he can't really put his mind to jokes.

Well, maybe he could make a few sexual jokes…now that he thinks about it.

Pain blossoms from his ribs and he lets out a high-pitched cry. Bones pauses, his expression saddened.

"I would apologize, but it seems we have some restrictions on that topic." Bones states, noticing the tears slipping away.

"Aww screw it, apologize, kiss my ass." He manages to say before letting out an uncomfortable moan.

A few sobs escape.

"Easy now, you're still squirming everywhere." Bones mutters, gripping his bruised ribs beneath his firm hands.

Bones pretends not to notice the tears, but they're streaming down his cheeks.

"Maybe if you'd stop touchin' my sensitive areas this wouldn't be a problem." He replies through gritted teeth, sniffling a little.

He cries out when Bones applies pressure, and again Bones wants to apologize but doesn't.

"Ahh, Bones, what did I do to deserve this?" He moans aloud, it's rhetorical but Bones responds nonetheless.

"You didn't do anything Jim…you don't deserve this." Bones says seriously.

The hands then slide further down, moving to the base of his leg right below his hip.

Chills run down his spine and yet despite his current condition, he can't resist…

"Woah now Bones! This ain't the time for sex. That comes after the making out stage." He gives a boyish grin through the tears and Bones just shakes his head.

Bones then continues to roll up his boxer's pant-leg to get a better look at the cut.

"The day I make a sexual move on you is the day I blow my brains out kid." Bones tells him.

He just laughs; it's half-heart though. Energy is leaving him, not like he had much to begin with in the first place.

"Look Jim, I can't let you sleep yet, but I can give you a stimulant." Bones informs him and gets the hypo ready.

He grinds his teeth, gazing almost fearfully at the nearing hypo. Pointy needles aren't his thing.

"Ya'know what Bones? I'm feeling much better. I don't think that abomination needs to go into my neck today." He says and begins to sit up.

He's ready to leave, but Bones thinks different.

Bones pushes him down, little rough but it gets the job done. Those damn hands hate him today.

"Hold still damn it, or I'll stab this into your face." Bones grumbles, pinning his head down and tilting it to the side to get a better angle.

"Look Bones, I don't want any hickies today, so maybe right now the make out stage can wait." He says jokingly and winces when the hypo enters his skin.

Bones pulls it out, it's painful, but he's being a baby.

"Jeez Bones…woah… this baby has a kicker." He mutters, blinking a few times to clear his vision.

"Yeah, now hold still while I finish examining you. The faster I get this done the faster we can figure out what's going on." Bones tells him.

It seems to shut him up for the time being, until curiosity gets the better of him.

"Why'd you leave?" He asks, his voice seems small, like a he's once again a little boy.

"I was clearing the path to sickbay so I could walk you here." Bones explains, looking closer at his left knee.

"Oh." He exclaims and groans when Bones shifts his leg.

"Hey Bones?" He suddenly squeaks and the Doctor glances over at him.

"Yeah Jim?" Bones inquires, raising a brow.

"Is uhh, is everything down there okay?-like umm intact right? Nothing's missing right?" He stammers and Bones literally laughs in his face.

"If you're worried about your baby makers you're fine, everything's intact." Bones chuckles.

His face turns bright red with embarrassment, but it doesn't show much due to his ashy pale skin.

"That's a relief." He mumbles and shuts his crystal blue eyes.

Bones sighs.

"There's more important things to worry about right now." Bones states with a grunt.

He looks his way, a small smirk on the edge of his cracked lips.

"I like to start with the small things first." He replies, but the smile fades.

"Yeah, you certainly did start with the small things." Bones grumbles, bandaging up the cut on his knee.

"You calling my junk small?" He snaps defensively, but he can't keep a straight face and he begins to laugh.

Bones just raises his brows at him, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Why am I not surprised." Bones mutters under his breath and tightens the bandage sharply on purpose.

He winces and grits his teeth. His jaw shifts slightly as Bones works on his right leg now. He watches the Doctor, Bones is determined, focused, but still gentle with the touch.

Fingers run up and down his leg, pressing into the bruised bones and muscles. He winces and grins, his bloodstained teeth gleaming in the dim lights. His core is shaking with the gentle touch and he resists the urge to get up and run.

He begins to cough which only causes him more pain. Bones casts him a pitiful glance but keeps maneuvering his sprained ankle.

"Just tape it up Bones." He grins and heaves a few pants.

"Planning on it. Just checking for broken bones." The Doctor explains then snatches up the medical tape.

"Hold still will ya?" Bones says and positions his foot appropriately before taping it up.

Once done, the worn Doctor gives a huff and glances over at his face. He only gives a reassuring smirk.

"Alright, I just need to uhh, to tape your ribs, unless you want me to check your damaged calf first…" Bones stutters slightly, massaging his temple before looking at the pale face.

"Ribs. Let's just get it over with." He grunts and sees Bones' expression twitch.

"I'm gonna get more medical tape, sit up for me please." Bones tells him and stalks away to a nearby cupboard.

He moans and slides his hands to his sides. He starts to push off the cold table top when a sharp pain pierces his lower abdomen. He clamps his mouth shut to avoid letting out a girlish scream. He's wheezing for breath.

He decides to lie back down. Yup, much better. He's panting when the footsteps return.

"Jim, c'mon. I said sit up, not lie down." Bones snaps almost irritably.

The Doctor is exhausted.

"…can't…" He wheezes and Bones expression lightens up.

"Oh. Well here lemme help you." Bones mutters and comes to his side.

He doesn't want the help, but he lets it happen.

A hand slides underneath his head and the other behind his back. Slowly he's being lifted into a sitting position. He's shaking, his core fights the movement and he lets out a cry.

Bones' heart tears into two. The Doctor can't stand to see him in such pain, but he pushes away the friend side and welcomes the doctor side.

"Alright, now sit up straight for me." Bones says, helping him straighten out his back.

He's weak, fading a little.

"Bones…can't…hurts." He mumbles, sweat trickling down the sides of his face.

"Bare with me kid." Bones replies and begins to tape up his ribs.

With each tightening he lets out a wince and even a sob. He bites down onto his lips until it bleeds. His baby blue eyes squeeze shut, ignoring the Doctor's murmuring voice.

"Jim. Jim you're done, you can lie back down." Bones is saying, the voice seems distant but he obeys it nonetheless.

He eases slowly back down, letting a sigh make its way out of his lips. Bones feels sorry for him, but doesn't say anything.

He keeps his eyes closed and feels the hands pry at his right calf. He's too weak to even wince when a sharp erupts from the poking.

"Jim, do you have feeling in your calf?" Bones asks, but it's more of he wants to keep him awake.

"Mmhmm." He moans, his eyes unmoving.

His breaths are becoming heavier, he feels congested. He fights it; he's tired of feeling weak and helpless. The Enterprise needs him.

Blue eyes open and close; only catching glimpses.

"Hey Bones…?" He slurs, his eyes drooping a little.

"Yeah Jim?" Bones replies, not looking up from his calf.

"It's…gettin'…hard to-breathe." He says in a wheeze, his chest restricting.

"Jim…it might be from the bandages…" Bones starts, but then glances over at his face.

"The hell…?" Bones mumbles and brings the tricorder out.

"Bones…" He wheezes, grasping the Doctor's shirt and giving it a tug.

"Shit. There's fluid going into your lungs. Dunno what yet…" Bones is muttering half to himself.

"…ones…" He mumbles, his vision spinning and his stomach twisting into knot.

"Hold on Jim… here, c'mon here kid." Bones says and begins to help him sit up.

He can't see anymore, his vision is gone. His heartbeat goes erratic, hyperventilation is becoming a probability.

Hands grip his shoulders and jostle him slightly. He's being rolled over now. Sharp smacks of pressure hit his back until a large contingency of liquid comes up his throat and out his lips.

He coughs hoarsely, oxygen not coming in steadily.

"…Jim…?" A voice says, welcoming him back to reality.

"Bones…" He mumbles, unsure if his words were heard.

"It's alright, I'm here kid." Bones replies.

A hand grips his left hand and another hand finds its way into his blond hair. He's tense; a little scared, but relaxes at the Doctor's touch.

"Don't…leave…" He coughs as he speaks, but he manages.

"It's alright Jim, I'm not goin' anywhere." The Doctor tells him and releases a sigh.

"…Enterprise…?" He whispers in his weak attempt to get up, but the Doctor eases him back down.

Bones knows he's eager, too eager.

"The Enterprise can wait Jim, what's important now is that you rest." Bones tells him soothingly.

The hands then pull away. He can't feel them anymore. He can hear though, Bones' footsteps echoing in the empty room. Empty room…where is everyone? At the very least there should be a couple of dead bodies.

His chest heaves up and down in thought. He blinks his eyes but his vision won't return. Panic wrenches its way inside. Fear is becoming present in his expression. His breath is quickening.

He's alone, nobody is here.

"Jim, calm down, I'm still here." Bones says, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Bones seems to have magical powers. Oh typical Bones. Bones is right. But then again, when is he not?

"I can't see." He states blindly, literally.

"What? Hold on Jim." Bones replies.

He feels Bones' breath against his cheek as the Doctor leans over him. Quickly each of his eyelids or peeled back and more than likely a light shone into them.

"You'll be fine Jim; it'll just take a few minutes until your vision comes back." Bones tells him, letting out a groaned sigh.

"Bones…" He mumbles, reaching out with a hand to touch Bones.

Bones meets his hand, fingers interlacing.

"Yeah Jim?" The good Doctor inquires, squeezing the clammy hand.

"Where is everybody?" He asks in a cough and imagines Bones' face screwing over in thought.

"I… uhh, I don't know Jim, I've been asking myself the same thing." Bones responds, his voice soothing to his aching skull.

"Just get some rest Jim, I'll wake you up when we need to get moving." Bones says, patting his leg softly.

"Alright…Bones…" He slurs a little, already falling asleep.

His eyes were drooping closed, his vision slowly sparkling into life. As his eyes shut, he can see the blurry image of Bones peering over him, a smirk on the Doctor's face. Dumbly he reaches out and pats the Doctor's shoulder.

"…anks…ones." He mumbles and hears a chuckle.

"No problem Jim, no problem." The voice replies and slowly fades off into the back of his mind until darkness completely consumes him and his thoughts buzz.

His last thoughts are swarming in his head, but one in particular stuck with him. The thought is slowly pinpointed until it's all he can think about as he drifts off into the world of the unknown. The thought scares him slightly, but brings a feeling that tells him he's alive.

What if I don't wake up?

 **Author's Note: Sorry it's been awhile since I've updated, it's just all this ridicules school stuff, especially with finals and AP tests coming up, it's pretty scary. I hope you like this chapter, it's got some Jim whump, not as much as I wanted but it'll have to do. I thought the dialogue between Bones and Jim was funny enough to keep and not rewrite the chapter. So comment, like, follow, favorite, or whatever you want. If you have any ideas or thoughts don't be afraid to review! I promise I don't bite! Biting is just so immature, and a cheap way to win a fight. Lol, well, bye for now until next time!**


	4. When I'm Gone

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 4: 'When I'm Gone' _3 Doors Down_**

Oxygen wheezes and pushes its way into his lungs. His eyes don't respond and remain closed to the outside world. Legs and arms are cold upon the smooth surface, which send chills down his spine. His head is pounding with dehydration and he feels alone.

Lips part to speak, but only a slight whimper escapes.

He feels trapped, insecure, exposed.

Fingers curl into a fist until he begins to feel the strain on his knuckles. At least he's alive. He licks his lips, the tinge of blood noticeably there. He shifts his legs, but they're stiff and heavy.

He moans aloud, hoping to catch someone's attention.

Only silence consumes him. He's alone, absolutely alone.

The panic rush gives him the energy to open his eyes. There's a ceiling above him and large light that is switched off. To his right is curtain, blocking his view of escape. To his left is a figure. The figure is slumped over in exhaustion.

He recognizes the blue figure immediately. It's Bones.

The Doctor is sound asleep, quiet snores breaking the silence in the contained room.

He sighs and sits up with the little energy he has. His head spins, but he manages to stay upright. With a pained grunt he slides his legs off of the examination table and presses his feet against the cold ground. His stomach lurches slightly as he puts his full weight down.

His legs tremble beneath him and he uses the table to support himself. With his stomach in a knot, he slowly inches forward to the countertop with all of his clothes.

One by one he dresses himself.

The clothes make him feel more secure, safe.

After finishing up lacing his boots, he half crawls over to the sink. He turns the handles to the faucet, but no water comes out. His heart aches.

He's tired, thirsty, weak. Water can really help right about now.

He moans his complaint and glances over at the un-stirring Doctor. Bones is still slumped over in his sleep, the Doctor's chest rising and falling rhythmically.

Guilt buries itself deep within his chest. Here he is, complaining about all this crap and there is Bones, putting up with his bullshit. Bones is the real MVP.

He releases a shaky breath and moans.

He has to leave.

He looks towards his escape and glances once more over at Bones. The Doctor's expression is peaceful. Bones' dreams must be a pleasant one. Don't want to ruin that.

He smirks and starts his journey out of sickbay and into the silent hallway. It's empty, all of it, and he wants to know why.

His trek is harsh, obstacles such as broken doors and caved in ceilings are hazardous.

He continues down the hallway despite his twisting gut and pounding head. He has to do it, for his ship.

Spock would be very useful right about now.

He wants Spock now, he needs him. Then again, the robot bastard would just be nagging in his ear about how illogical he's being at this moment.

Biting his lower lip, he trudges on; his steps are heavy, loud. His hands glide across the surface of the crushed walls for support. The constant groaning of the ship's interior frightens him, but not enough to make him turn around and run.

He braves forward, his vision starts to spin. His stomach is in knots. Lungs scream for air. He braves on.

He ignores it all. He can hear the screams, the cries, the pleas for help. He hears it all. It's overbearing. He, the captain, let them all die. It's his fault. He failed them, every once living soul, he failed.

Guilt is digging into his soul. Depression is creepy in, knocking sanity away. Mental stability is crumbling.

He isn't meant to do this alone.

His emotions tell him to turn around, to collapse into Bones' lap and cry. To give in to the daily pressures of life. To forfeit his pride and welcome the Doctor's loving embrace.

He longs it, he needs it.

Tears are slipping as he fights himself. The battle is pointless though, his steps are taking him closer and closer to the Bridge. Maybe there he can find Spock. Spock knows what to do; the Vulcan knows how to fix everything.

He keeps going, pushing away the ghostly cries and focusing on reality. He can't handle it though. It's shaking him to his core. Every time he looks to find the source he realizes it's just his imagination. It's scaring him.

Who knows how much longer he can cling on to reality. He can't even remember what he had been doing right before the Enterprise's crash.

What was he doing?

Memories of the darkened mysterious room flood his mind. Yup, it's still a mystery.

Maybe he'll figure that one out later. He and Bones will have a good laugh about it sometime. Once he can get all this shit figured out.

Yeah that's gonna take some time. Time is something that is never in his favor. Screw Time. It seems to have a mind of its own.

Time is ticking away as he continues his hopeless journey down the corridor. His heart aches but he pursues his mission, his only way out of this mess.

His legs are tiring; they're getting heavier, too heavy for his liking. His breathing is becoming more ragged. Bruised ribs seem to be cracking with each intake.

He has to stop. He doesn't want to but he must.

He's no good to the Enterprise dead.

With an unsettling sigh, he sits down, more like collapses though. Pain begins to disappear in his legs and chest as he leans back against the damaged wall of his ship.

He really blew it this time. He really did.

The ship groans, as if in agreement to his thoughts.

"I'm sorry…" He mutters, drumming the wall rhythmically with his fingertips.

"So sorry." He mumbles in his haze of reality.

He's sweating, hands clammy, vision spinning. Fever, maybe a bit delirious, if he sees any flying pigs he'll know for sure.

His deterioration reminds him of the shortage of time.

He can't stay here too long. The Enterprise needs him. She needs James T. Kirk, Captain of the Starship USS Enterprise. But he wasn't sure if he could be that man anymore. That man let her crash.

His heart rages, but it ceases when his stomach twists. He needs to keep calm. None of this anxiety shit is gonna help him through this.

Anxiety is the last thing he needs right now. He must be in control of his feelings, his emotions. Stability, he needs that. It's something he lacks; then again he lacks plenty of valuable things.

Bones will get on his case about this surely. Something about being stupid and it was very dangerous. And he'll reply with his normal level of sass and sarcasm. Something like it's a part of the job. Bones won't buy it though. The old bastard has grown more stubborn with age. The Doctor's fear of losing control is overbearing sometimes.

Surely if Bones were in his position he would do the same thing?

Highly unlikely.

Even his subconscious can't offer him some reassurance.

Great. Better get going now. Can't waste too much time.

He clenches his teeth and gets to his feet. He leans heavily upon the interior wall and begins his walk to the Bridge. The sooner he gets there the better.

He sighs and presses on.

His feet slap down onto the abomination of a floor. Hands slide across the walls of the Enterprise. Breaths release as a wheeze within the still air. He's exhausted, he should have never have left Bones behind.

Moron.

Oh Bones, hopefully the Doctor is in a forgiving mood. He doesn't know how the erratic Doctor will respond the next time they come into contact. Probably something along the lines of 'You stubborn bastard!', and that's if he's lucky. He'll be receiving hypos for the weeks to come.

He pauses in thought as he sees the elevator to the Bridge. His face lightens.

He made it.

Heavy strides place him inside. He activates it, nothing happens.

"You got to be shitting me." He grumbles and tries again without success.

He lets out a stream of curses that he's not proud of and composes himself. He has to use the stairs. The flipping stairs.

Grinding his teeth he marches out and backtracks to the stairs.

The only thing keeping him upright is determination, stubbornness, and adrenaline. He doesn't realize that he's bleeding, or his breathing is becoming sharper, he's too furious to notice.

He's still muttering under his breath when he reaches the stairs. He opens the door cautiously and glances up. The stairs are somewhat intact, good enough to get to the Bridge and that's all that matters now.

Before he starts, he gazes down the hallway, almost longing for Bones to appear, but the Doctor doesn't.

Scratch that, Bones isn't related to Superman.

With a huff he takes his first stride onto the stairs. He winces as his chest restricts and his ribs burn. He has to get through this.

Can't wussy out now.

Grimacing, he hefts himself up, taking each step carefully. No need to fall and crack his head open. That would be unfortunate.

He grins. He can almost imagine Spock's voice going on about how illogical he was being right now. Even though he'll never admit it, he's proud of his First Officer, wherever he happens to be.

Biting his lip, he continues up, breaths becoming shorter. He'll need a break soon. He can't keep this up much longer.

He's halfway through his twentieth step when his body shudders. He clamps onto the railing, the shivering wracking his body. His vision becomes hazy, stars beginning to dance.

Not now please?

He has to remain conscious. Who knows what a tumble from this height can do to his fragile body.

He wills his eyes open. His stomach is doing somersaults so he leans over the railing and lets out the contents of his stomach.

Much better.

His body shudders.

Psych. Not feeling too good.

Maybe just a little breather.

He settles down, still clinging onto the railing desperately. He wraps his arms around it, it's his only comfort. He presses his forehead onto the bars, the coolness seeping into his skin.

Blue eyes close…just a little rest, that's all…

"Jim!"

The sharp ring gets his attention. How long has it been?

"Jim!"

There it is again. The voice is faint, almost too far away…

"Jim for god's sake where are you?"

The voice is desperate. Maybe he should reply?

He parts his lips, but he only manages to spew out acid and blood over his own lap. Yep, pretty pathetic right now. Maybe the voice can come back another time? Yeah, another time will work best.

"Jim, you have to be around here somewhere…" The voice trails off as it becomes fainter.

He's alone. Completely alone.

"Bones…" He mumbles.

Its Bones damn it! He wants Bones, Bones is good. He wants to call out but he's too tired, too weak, fragile.

He shifts slightly and a sharp pain erupts from his ribs. Not going anywhere anytime soon.

Moans escape his lips. His fever is rising, almost delirious. Maybe the voice was his imagination? That wouldn't surprise him.

Maybe he should just sleep. That would be best right now wouldn't it?

Once agreed with himself, he closes his eyes, sleep pulling him under. He's almost asleep, his last few thoughts swirling around.

Something grabs him; the hands are firm and familiar. They jostle him slightly.

"Bones…?" He slurs, eyes still closed and arms still wrapped around the railing.

"Captain, it is me, Spock. You seem to be running a high fever. You are probably delirious and if I do not get your temperature down, you will surely suffer severe brain damage." The stern voice states.

He just laughs.

"Don't talk to me about brain damage Spock. At least I haven't lost mine." He replies and opens his blue eyes.

Spock is staring back. Dark eyes focus on him, emotionless.

"Spock." He grunts, his upper body swaying.

Spock steadies him.

"Yes Captain?" The Vulcan replies, head tilting slightly.

"I might throw up on you." He states and his head begins to loll.

Hands keep him upright.

"That is a logical analysis Captain." Spock responds, gripping him tightly.

"Where's…Bones…?" He mumbles and the Vulcan's eyebrows rise.

"I do not know. I am fortunate that I have found you. It was only through logical thinking that I have found you. The probability of me finding you here was quite high." Spock explains, but sees him fading.

"Please, come Captain. We must find Doctor McCoy." Spock says and begins to help him up.

He fights it, but he's weak.

"Captain, it is illogical of you to fight me. I am trying to help you." Spock states, still emotionless.

"No, I have to-have to get… to the Bridge Mr. Spock. The Bridge…" He wheezes, still trying to fight Spock's hands. It's pointless, but then again, this whole trip seems pointless.

"Captain, there is no point in trying to get to the Bridge, they would surely capture you at the moment of your arrival. It is critical that we-"

He cuts him off. Spock seems offended slightly.

"Who is 'they'?" He snaps, his glossy red eyes narrowing.

"Klingons. I thought you were aware of their presence, for you were the one who alerted us to their boarding." Spock replies calmly.

His heart beat quickens. His breaths are hitched.

"Klingons Mr. Spock?" He mutters and the Vulcan nods his head.

"Indeed Captain." Spock confirms.

He rubs his hands together, it's an anxiety thing.

Spock notices his discomfort.

"Now Captain, will you please come with me in search of the Doctor?" Spock asks, but he knows he doesn't have a choice.

Reluctantly he nods his head and Spock helps him to his feet. The instant he's upright he throws up and almost collapses. Spock holds onto him, arms wrapped around his tightening chest.

"Captain, it would be most efficient if I carry you." Spock states, getting ready to hoist him off of his feet.

"No way in hell." He mutters and Spock's expression changes.

"Captain, with all due respect, I wasn't asking." Spock replies and then scoops him up like a child.

This is happening way too much lately. He needs to make a policy. 'NO CARRYING YOUR CAPTAIN LIKE A SMALL INFANT, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES'. The policy seems fair enough. Completely logical.

He wishes to tell Spock, but only whimpers and moans escape.

"I am confident that I can find the Doctor in time, Captain. Before permanent brain damage sets in." Spock informs him.

He snorts. Brain damage ehh? Nothing new there. And did he seriously say 'confident'? He's confident that he can find Bones in time? Great, because confidence solves everything now.

Well at least he has Spock right? Spock will take care of everything…Spock's a good friend.

The Vulcan stares at him briefly before returning his unfaltering gaze to the hallways. He shifts, his ribs aching. Sweat is leaving his body and soaking into Spock's tattered clothing.

His fever is rising, dangerously high.

He's starting to mutter, thrashing slightly in the Vulcan's arms. His moans are becoming more pain filled, accompanied by weak whimpers.

Spock senses his discomfort but can only move faster in search of the Doctor.

He squeezes his eyes shut, Spock is hurting him, it must be Spock. He wasn't hurting this bad until Spock came. Must be Spock's fault then surely?

His breathing quickens, only managing to catch a few wheezes of oxygen to fill his needy lungs. His stomach begins to churn, he can feel it rising, the burning sensation of the foul liquid coming up his throat. He spews it out, all over himself and down Spock's shirt.

He can't breathe, there's puke in his mouth. He gags and he feels himself lowered onto the ground. Burning skin makes contact with the smooth floor. His body is rolled over onto the side and he feels the relief of the puke leaving his mouth and onto his ship's floor.

Someone's gonna have to clean this up later.

Something strokes his hair. It would be comforting if hadn't started sniffling like a two-year old.

Arms bring him upright and he's pulled onto Spock's lap. He's shaking, curling into a ball. The strong arms keep him close, like their afraid to lose him in the darkness,

Spock doesn't know what to do. The Vulcan is hesitant, evaluating the best course of action.

"Captain…Captain can you hear me?" The stern voice questions and the blue eyes peep open.

"Spock-ck." He stammers, the shivers wracking his body.

"The most logical course of action is for me to leave you here and retrieve the Doctor myself. Do you understand?" Spock replies coldly, still emotionless.

He shakes. More sniffling. God it's so unmanly…

"Your-your leaving-ing m-me?" His voice trembles.

He's scared to be alone, left in the dark. He ditched Bones before, but he plans never to do it again. Oh how idiotic and stupid he had been!

"Captain…Jim, if I want to succeed in saving your life, I must retrieve the Doctor. It is of course the most logical course of action here." The Vulcan explains.

He just nods his head. If he speaks now he'll surely cry.

"Alright. I'll return soon with Doctor McCoy. I believe you humans say something like, 'Hang in there', when in dire situations, so I will say it to you now. Hang in there Jim." Spock says, and he starts to break.

His insides feel like they're melting.

"Just co-come back Spock." He responds, gazing pleadingly up at his only hope.

"Will do Captain." Spock replies robotically and places him against the cracked wall.

The Vulcan then walks off without giving further thought to the situation.

His lips begin to quiver; he's holding back the tears, pains, the emotions. He sniffles up the mucus and wraps his arms around himself for comfort. It doesn't work. He's trembling, the fever rising.

He's hearing the screams again. They're louder than before. They shout his name. He can't block them out.

He brings his head between his knees, covering his ears. Blue eyes squeeze shut, ignoring the pain, noise, ache.

He will get through this. He can't bear to be alone much longer. For Spock to leave. He feels too much insecurity, anxieties, pressures, when Spock is gone.

 **Author's Note: So yeah Spock is here now. I'm not sure of what I thought of this chapter, but it's setting up things for the bigger picture. Poor Jim, only finds things out slowly and that's the point, I only want you guys to know what Jim knows so you see things from his perspective and not McCoy's or Spock's. And I would like to thank yall for having 19 follows! That's my new record by the way :) So thanks for doing that guys I really appreciate it and I hope ya guys enjoy this like I do when writing it. Sometimes I just go on streaks of writing so it just depends. So thanks yall again for being amazing! And leave a review of what you think cos that'll help me satisfy your Jim Whump needs. Peace out. Yall are amazing.**


	5. Thrive

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 5: 'Thrive' _Switchfoot_**

He lies in a pool of sweat, his skin absorbing it back in. The shaking is coursing through his body. He's in a tight ball, knees tucked into his chest, his arms wrapped around his head.

Pants escape his cracked lips. His bones ache and burn with each intake. He's weary. He can't keep fighting like this.

His cheeks are stained with tears and his eyes are welling with the unshed. He's sniffling with mucus and the occasional puke comes out.

Lonely, sad and depressed.

His body shakes and he wraps himself into a tighter ball, if that's even possible. This can't continue for much longer. Something bad is bound to happen.

A distant marching sound begins to echo down the halls.

Just on que.

The sound continuously gets louder by the second. He doesn't even bother to check who it is. He doesn't care anymore, he's too weak. Besides, he's not even sure if he's delusional or not.

This could all just be his imagination. It wouldn't surprise him.

"Jim!" His name is called out sharply and is followed by the sound of slapping shoes.

They're in rush. They're racing the marching sound now. Too bad he hadn't placed any bets.

"Hurry! We need to get him out of here." The voice says.

He's pretty comfy though. Why bother moving?

"Indeed Doctor, especially with the nearing Klingon patrol coming our way. They will arrive in approximately twenty-four seconds…" The second voice replies slowly and sternly.

And how in the world do you know how fast the patrol is moving? Sounds a little extreme. At what moment could anyone come to that conclusion without even seeing the patrol? Whatever, the guy sounds like an ass anyways.

"Mr. Spock! We don't have time to talk about time! We need to get Jim away from here." The voice sounds desperate.

Funny, he knows someone named Spock too; maybe his Spock can be friends with this Spock. They'd make a lovely couple…

"That is quite ironic. And if you allow me Doctor, I know a place." A voice announces and the marching sound starts to blur out the other noises.

Suddenly hands scoop him from the floor and he's lifted up into someone's arms.

He shifts. Why are they moving? He was just fine dying on the floor, thank you very much.

"Put me down…" He believes he said, but it's more of a little moan.

"Follow me." The familiar voice says.

He feels himself be carried away, floating with the wind. His mind is starting to crumble, his head spinning. The voices are becoming more distant.

Screw this; this is not the way he wanted his day to go.

"In here Doctor McCoy." The man that's carrying him says.

He feels the temperature change as the group enters the room. His skin prickles and he squeezes his fists as his stomach churns.

Don't throw up on the nice gentleman.

"Set him down here." A voice informs the other.

"Very well." He's then placed onto the cool floor.

His breathing quickens, coldness seeping into his sweaty skin. He keeps his eyes shut, the voices are echoing and aren't coherent. The sounds murmur but he only catches glimpses.

The room seems still for a moment. He moans, everything aches, something clamps his mouth shut, he pushes it away, it's useless. After several long moments, the hand removes itself from his lips. He sighs.

He remains emotionless until the marching sound fades completely and the voices begin to murmur again.

"Oh god… Jim! Spock how can…I can't believe it…" A voice mumbles, most of the sentence drifting away in his half-conscious state.

He's losing control, slipping away, he's sure of it.

"It seemed necessary at…I knew Jim…it was a logical…inconclusive." The second voice replies, but they're fading too quickly.

The voices are getting sucked away. He doesn't mind it, it's actually quite nice. He welcomes the darkness.

Not too shabby right?

Something touches him and he starts to cry. Emotions are boiling over. He doesn't know why. When has crying been a solution to anything? Well, it has been a long day.

He can't stop; his chest keeps heaving mighty sobs. Great. He isn't gonna hear the end of this anytime soon.

"Hold on Jim…I got you…help me out…" The first voice mumbles.

Hands keep grabbing him, he doesn't fight it, he's too tired. Stubbornness was long gone, out the window.

He's rolled onto his back, the muscles screaming at them to stop. Can't they see he's in pain? Maybe a little warning before touching anything would be nice.

His mind drifts. He doesn't want to see what's happening to him. He doesn't care.

His ship. His ship needs him. His ship needs him to save her. He doesn't have much time. But in this condition he isn't gonna get very far. He tried it merely hours ago, now he's ended up here. That plan went smooth. Maybe third time is a charm?

Plus there are other people on board. Klingons. Klingons are on the Enterprise. His ship, Klingons are on his ship, the Enterprise.

Shit, his thinking is getting repetitive.

He breathes deeply. He can feel energy slowly building up. Or maybe it's his sanity going out the door, locking it, and throwing the keys into a volcano. Whichever it is, he wants to take advantage of the moment.

If there's Klingons on board, he wants them dead, all of them. Every single one, dead. The best type of Klingon is a dead Klingon.

He needs to get these people's attention. He parts his lips, but his voice is hoarse and barely audible.

He tries again, muttering under his breath about the Klingons.

His mind begins to race at the possibilities. He can feel it. These people have to realize this.

He's getting panicky slightly, he doesn't like it, but his thoughts are hurting him.

They're here, on his ship, he heard them, he's sure of it. They're tearing her apart, to bits. They're killing his crew, his friends. He can't stop it; he can't stop any of this. He's lost the power, the will to carry on.

"Doctor McCoy, I believe he's become delirious." Spock states clearly, the voices becoming sharp and coherent once again.

Wait…they've been Bones and Spock this whole time? Well shit.

Even in his weak state, he's still a rebel and isn't gonna let Spock fly on that one, especially now he knows that it's Spock. Delirious his ass, Spock's being delirious now.

Rebellious blue-bloodshot eyes open wide. Two figures sit before him, one concerned and one emotionless.

Bones and Spock.

He grins, but the smile fades when he shivers.

"Klingons. Klingons Bones." He says, speaking faster than he should.

"I-I have to-hafta get them Bones-there's-Klingons on the sh-ship-Bones." He stammers, squirming underneath the Doctor's grip.

"You're not going anywhere Jim, you're exhausted and your fever is way too high. You should have never've left me damn it." Bones growls angrily at him.

He cringes slightly, sobs still escaping. And he has plenty of energy thank you very much Bones.

"But Bones! Klingons! Klingons! I have to-I must!" He utters miserably, his breathing becoming more exasperated.

Bones chews his lower lip, gazing down at him.

"Look Jim, we can handle it. Trust us." Bones replies softly.

He focuses on Bones' face, comprehending his words. He nods, emotionless.

"Alright, good. Good Jim." Bones says, stress going down a notch.

Bones swipes his sweaty blond hair back, noticing the bleeding cuts trickling down the sides of his ashy face. It's nothing too serious but something the Doctor should keep a close eye on.

He smirks, shivers coursing through his worn body.

"Alright Jim, we're just gonna take off your clothes, it's the easiest way to cool you off. The last thing we need is you turning into a puddle." Bones explains, starting to take off his shoes.

"I find that highly illogical, there is no possible way for a fever to turn someone into a puddle. The melting point of human flesh-" Spock starts, but the Doctor isn't about to let the Vulcan explain every detail.

"You get my point Mr. Spock. Now please, just help me undress the Captain." Bones snaps, the Doctor's temper is short today.

"Very well Doctor." Spock replies, his voice stern and piercing to the mellow stillness of the ship.

"Thank you." The Doctor grumbles and pulls off his socks.

Spock hoists him into a sitting position. An unmanly cry escapes and Bones' angered gaze penetrates the Vulcan's skull.

"Careful Mr. Spock. The Captain is very fragile." Bones mutters sharply.

Bones and Spock never get along it seems, strange considering the fact they have the same best friend.

"I am very aware of that Doctor and I did not mean to cause the Captain any harm." Spock states, the voice is calming and soothing to their dire situation.

"Prepare yourself Captain, I am about to remove your shirt." Spock states and begins to peel the blood and sweat stained shirt from his feverish frame.

He winces as it goes over his head and is pulled off of his arms. He coughs and blinks away the tears.

His eyes squeeze shut as Spock gently eases him down into a lying position, his head resting in Spock's lap. Bones unbuttons his pants and pulls them off. The movement causes him to shiver and goose-bumps arise on his skin.

He feels his pants pulled around his bare feet then completely removed. He feels exposed, vulnerable. Biting down on his lip, he gazes at his two friends. They both look concerned, even though some show it more than others.

"What shall we do now Doctor McCoy? We cannot simply wait here, for the Klingons will certainly find us." Spock states and Bones grimaces.

"He's not safe to move, yet. We'll have to wait until his temperature goes down, but even then I don't want to be moving him around." Bones replies slowly, pressing a hand to his face, feeling the heat waves.

Damn, he's extra hot today.

"Of course Doctor. But what of the Enterprise? Surely we cannot sit by; we must take action if we wish to preserve the ship." Spock responds, his voice remaining emotionless.

"Spock, we're talking about the Captain's life here." Bones says sharply, gazing down at him, then back to the Vulcan.

"No Doctor, we're talking about the crew's life. It is illogical to save one man's life above the hundreds aboard this ship." Spock informs the Doctor, but Bones doesn't take the statement lightly.

"Spock we don't even know if the crew is still alive! And since when is Jim expandable?" Bones' tone is stern, anger clearly poking through his somewhat calm demeanor.

"It would be for a noble cause Doctor, and one that I am not just about ready to abandon." Spock replies, his tone is sharp and fierce, like deep down he's fighting himself.

"Well forget about it! I'm not leaving Jim, and if you decide to give me all your Vulcan shit and that, then just leave. I don't need logic right now; we need a bit of luck." Bones lashes out, fists clenching.

"Luck won't solve our problem Doctor McCoy." The Vulcan grits, too much stress was boiling over.

"Neither will abandoning Jim." Bones snaps.

"Bones…" He moans, wanting to break the tension, it's stressing him out.

His heart is pounding heavily in his ears. He can't handle seeing them like this. It must end…

"Please don't fight anymore…" He says weakly, tugging at Bones' blue shirt.

Bones' heart shatters.

"I'm sorry Jim, it won't happen again." Bones replies, giving the Vulcan a glare before returning his gaze to him.

"Well, if you wish to save the Captain, we must find a better hiding place. I fear that the Klingon patrol will come back and possibly do a more thorough search of the area." Spock states and Bones nods.

Finally they both agree on something.

"How long do you think we have? I don't want to move Jim just yet." The Doctor says, crossing his arms.

"I can't say for certain, but possibly hours depending on how quickly they decide to head back around." Spock replies, the tension in his shoulders releasing slightly.

"Alright, give me an hour, then we'll head out." Bones tells him, the Vulcan nods.

The Doctor's gaze then falls back to him. He can see the pity in the Bones' eyes, it frightens him. He wants to show Bones that he's alright, that he just needed to sleep. Frustration and stress are taking its toll on him.

Bones half smirks at him. He feels the Doctor's presence as the man kneels beside him. He can feel Bones' hands brush his face; it's comforting to know that Bones is there and not leaving him behind.

Guilt stabs its way into his heart.

He had left Bones, sleeping in sickbay for his own selfish needs. Now look where that got him.

Yet, in despite of his foolish actions, here is Bones, caring for him. How is that even possible? Bones should hate his guts, leave him to die and rot in the ship's corridor. But he didn't. Why?

It must be true friendship. A bond that even hate can't break. One that even through the harsh times, where neither one of them had anything to say, their friendship will last.

He smiles. His thoughts bring him a since of peace.

Bones notices, scanning his face suspiciously.

"You aren't gonna die on me now, are ya Jim?" Bones asks, eyes narrowing.

He shakes his head. He doesn't have the energy, which he thought he had only moments ago. Possibly the peace of having Bones and Spock with him has made him feel more tired. Especially since he knows that they'll take care of him and the Enterprise.

He might not be alright now, but he will be soon, they'll make him alright. He's survived so much, but he wants to be alive, to thrive.

 **Okay, so another chapter, aaaaannnnnnddd it still hasn't gotten anywhere, but don't worry, once they get Jimmy boy all fixed up, it's time to kick some butt. Plus I wanna thank all yall peoples that have reviewed, followed, and favorited. I have never had so many people following my story, so the pressure's on! Plus my record is 10 reviews so I just need one more to break my record! So keep being faithful. Yall peoples are awesome and sorry it took me so long, just some ISATs, SBACs, and other forms of student testing cruelty has been going on lately. Plus them finals and AP tests are next month, soooo yeah. Umm I'll try to get the next chapter in ASAP, but I don't wanna give you guys like a chapter with like 1000 words, cos that's pointless. So yall peoples are awesome for putting up me and my tardiness and I'll end my rant now. Live long and prosper.**


	6. Goner

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 6: 'Goner' _Twenty-One Pilots_**

"Hold him down Mr. Spock!" Bones snaps quietly, the nearing Klingon patrol echoing outside.

"And keep him quiet!" The Doctor adds, as he gives a muffled cry.

He continues to thrash, the pain unbearable. They really screwed up this time. He really screwed up.

"Hurry up Mr. Spock, they're coming!" Bones announces and quickly dives under the stairway with them.

Now they're all squished.

He's panicking. Breaths coming in short gasps.

Spock's arms wrap around him, one arm goes around his chest and clamps his mouth shut, while the other presses down on his ribs, blood collecting on their laps. Spock then murmurs in the Vulcan dialect. Even though he can't understand what his friend is saying to him, he feels somewhat calmed.

His muscles sag and he relaxes within Spock's firm, comforting, welcoming grip.

The marching sound comes their way, getting louder and louder. Finally they can see them, the Klingon patrol.

The party makes their way down the narrow walkway, below them, the little group huddles in fear of being discovered. The three of them glance up at the group through the metal racking, listening to the drumming of their feet.

His breath quickens, the group is heading towards the ship's warp core. That's not a good sign.

As the Klingons disappear, Spock begins to mutter again. He sighs, his eyes closing with weariness. Bones looks their way; the Doctor's expression is dull.

Bones is tired too.

"Bones…" He mumbles through the haziness, the Doctor just smiles.

"Shh Jim, I'll get you patched up." Bones replies and Spock stops speaking, feeling the hot stickiness of human blood on his hands.

"Doctor McCoy, I believe you must hurry." Spock states, edging him off of his lap and against the metal side of the wall.

"I believe you're right Spock." Bones says, taking out a yellow shirt, which in fact is his, and grabs his face.

"Bite down on this." Bones tells him, stuffing the shirt into his mouth.

He moans his complaint, but it only causes his ribs more pain.

"Hold still damn it! This is already your own fault. If you would just except help like a normal person…bastard. Causing me so much pain."

"Sorry, I have a terrible habit of doing that." He replies with a mouthful, but Bones only gives him a confused look.

"You know what? Never mind, I'm not gonna ask." The Doctor states as he gets a closer look at the puncture.

"Is there anything we can do Doctor?" Spock asks, his tone sounding cautious.

"You can shut the hell up and lemme work." Bones snaps, but instantly the Doctor turns apologetic.

"Sorry, it's been a long day." Bones explains, but Spock just raises an eyebrow.

"I believe that the days are still running on a twenty-four hour cycle, therefore they have not gotten longer Doctor." Spock replies smartly and Bones just glares.

"You just gotta be a smart-ass don't you?" Bones responds sarcastically before turning his attention back to the wound.

"I believe I do not understand what you are referring to McCoy." The Vulcan states, the Doctor just rolls his eyes.

"Forget it Spock, we'll get back to this conversation later. Right now Jim needs me." Bones informs him, and the Vulcan almost smirks.

"Very well Doctor, I will be here if you need me." Spock tells him and Bones grinds his teeth.

"You don't say?" Another sarcastic reply, Spock gets the signal to shut up.

"Please try to hold still Kirk." Bones mutters, staring at the rib which poked through his pale skin.

He just moans, each time he breathes he can feel it slide through his skin. If he hadn't been such an idiot, he would have never've fallen on the stairs, thus he would not have a rib sticking out of him.

"Looks like you broke one of your right ribs and it went straight through the skin. You're lucky it didn't hit anything important." Bones says, easing him into a lying position.

"I might have to reset it though…" Bones mumbles, the Doctor's thoughts trailing off.

"Spock is there any way we could get back to sickbay?" Bones asks and Spock glances his way.

"I'm afraid not Doctor, it appears that the Klingons have moved a portion of the prisoners in there." Spock replies.

He perks up. Prisoners? This is the first time he had heard anything about his crew.

"Crew?" He groans through a mouthful.

"What?" Bones asks, ripping the shirt from his mouth.

"The crew. Prisoners?" He moans and the Vulcan and Doctor look at each other before returning his frightened gaze.

"Captain Kirk, it appears that the Klingons have boarded the ship and have taken the crew prisoner." Spock explains, but his expression is still confused and curious.

"How?" He mutters, his breathing quickening with the adrenaline rush.

"I do not know how they got aboard, but I do know this: they are searching for us, and if we do not do something soon, they will start to kill the crew to get to us. The Klingons will not stop until they have you in their possession Kirk." Spock informs him.

He swallows sharply, his heart tightening. Great, just great.

"Then what the hell are we doing here?" He shrills like a middle school girl.

"Kirk, we gotta keep you immobilized if you want to make a full recovery." Bones replies hotly.

He snorts. Full recovery his ass.

"Bones… since when have I been more important than the crew…?" He asks cringing as Bones applies slight pressure on his bruised, cut, torn hip.

"I didn't say you were more important. And damn it Jim, your hip looks worse than it did a couple of hours ago." Bones growls, bringing his boxer strap back up.

"Sorry to disappoint." He grins, showing his bloodstained teeth.

"No apologizing, that topic is still off limits." Bones tells him, examining the white bone sticking out from his lower abdomen.

"Oh yeah, forgot." He moans, the pain slowly building up as the time goes by.

"Hey, stay with me." Bones says, snapping a finger in his face.

Blue eyes whirl back, focusing on the Doctor's face. No sleeping.

"Alright, bite down on this. This might hurt a little." Bones states and jams the yellow captain's shirt into his mouth before letting him give a complaint.

He sighs, closing his eyes. It will only hurt a little? Yeah right.

"Try to relax Captain." Spock's voice appears suddenly.

He nods his head. He'll have to try.

"Deep breaths." Bones says and he exhales deeply.

Gotta be ready for this shit.

Pain, blinding pain. He bites down on the fabric, letting out a muffled cry. A hand is inside of him, jostling within his guts.

"Don't let him throw up! He'll choke. Keep him calm Spock." Bones tells the Vulcan.

The pain doesn't stop. He can feel the Doctor's hand glide across his insides, brushing the broken rib.

His cries are barely muffled. He's being too loud. But it hurts, strings, burns. He wants Bones to stop, to give up on it, but the Doctor is determined to finish the job.

"Just hold on…" Bones trails off, grasping straight onto the bone.

He lets out a cry, bile threatening to rise up through his throat.

"Just lemme turn it back around." Bones tells him.

Easier said than done. Shit. It hurt horribly.

The bone begins to budge slightly, blood releasing and filling the cavity.

"Damn it!" Bones swears under his breath.

"Spock, hurry give me your shirt." Bones demands and the Vulcan doesn't argue.

Spock takes off his blue shirt and hands it to Bones. Bones immediately stuffs it into the cavity welling with blood.

He cries out, the pain is overbearing. He can't breathe. His vision is blurring. His ears ring.

Shit. His body starts to tingle, his limbs becoming numb with the white hot pain. He's physically and mentally shaking. His very own world seeming to fall apart before his eyes, spinning into chaos. The pain is too much, Bones knows this. Bones knows he should be knocked out and doped on drugs, not squirming on the mental floor crying his lungs out.

A hand touches the side of his face. Something makes its way into his subconscious. He fights it at first, the fear of the unknown. But the strange entity brings calmness with its embrace. He stops fighting. He lets his mind be pulled away, swirling into an abyss of blackness.

He welcomes it. It's better than the alternative.

The pain subsides slightly. He glances around, he's alone, forgotten, frightened.

"Jim?" His name is called out softly; the voice is calm, soothing, reassuring.

He looks in the direction of the source, there's a tall figure dressed in silk robes. His eyebrows bunch together in suspicion.

Who the heck is this?

Curiosity gets the best of him. He gets to his feet. His stance is wobbly, but he's determined. He takes his first step towards the figure, he feels sick, weary, pathetic.

He only takes two steps until the once faraway figure is only two inches from his face.

Nausea takes over him and he collapses into the arms. They hold him upright, keeping him balanced. Slowly he's lowered down onto the person's lap and his head supported with a muscle toned arm.

Blue eyes open and welcome the familiar face.

"Spock." He whispers breathlessly.

"Jim, I am currently mind-melding with you. I did not mean to intrude your mind, but it was necessary to keep your psyche intact." Spock explains, he nods his head emotionlessly.

He still feels the pain, the burning sensation of moving broken bones within his body. His stomach is in knots, his mind crumbling and barely keeping together.

"It's alright Spock." He replies with clenched teeth.

"I must say Captain; your mind is quite empty. And I mean this no insult to your intelligence." Spock states, glancing around, but Spock finds the answer before he can even reply.

"It is because you fear facing reality is it not Captain? You feel like you must block out all other thoughts because you believe they might hinder your abilities as Captain. It is like you're hiding from yourself." Spock answers for him.

He nods, the damn Vulcan is right isn't he?

"Spock, you might be overstepping your boundaries here." He tells him defensively.

In the weak state he is in, Spock can just easily sift through his mind, picking out every little secret without much effort.

"I am sorry Captain; I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I was only stating my observation." Spock informs him, keeping eye contact.

He sighs, his mind is buzzing and Spock's effort to distract him can only do so much.

"Spock…it's getting warm in here…" He mutters; sweat starting to build up on his brow.

"That is from the outside world Captain. Your body temperature is rising. Unfortunately McCoy is still performing the operation.

"Spock, this is…my brain…call me Jim for god's sake." He speaks slowly; even speaking is becoming more of an effort.

"Alright, Jim." Spock says slowly, holding him close. Spock knows that humans receive comfort through physical contact.

"…Spock…hurts…" He moans, his breathing quickening.

Even in his own mind he can feel the pain.

Spock senses his discomfort, but there is little the Vulcan can do for him.

"I am sorry Jim, there is nothing more I can do." The Vulcan confirms his fears.

"Oh god, Spock…" He gasps, pain rising steadily from his lower abdomen.

"You must calm down Jim, Doctor McCoy needs you to remain calm and stable." Spock informs him, but it isn't much use.

He groans aloud, squeezing his hands into fists. Slowly his subconscious fades and Spock's shadowy figure is replaced with darkness. The agony rises as his mind is released back to reality.

He lets a cry out, his back arching.

"Hold him down Spock!" Bones snaps, trying to cover up the open wound.

Two sturdy hands pin him down. He puts all his strength into fighting them as if he could get away the pain would subside.

"Almost done Jim…almost done kid." Bones mutters, stitching up the hole.

"Mmmmhmmm…" He stifles a cry, his eyes glassy and red.

Spock slowly releases his grip, bringing one hand up to stroke his face. Bones sits back, staring at the crimson blood.

"Jim, you awake?" The Doctor asks.

Weary eyes peel open, tears rolling down his cheeks. He nods and he sees Bones' lip quiver in sympathy.

"That's a boy, Jim." Bones says softly, and begins to scrub the blood off.

"Now you must rest Captain, we have a long mission ahead of us." Spock tells him.

He nods his head and his blue eyes shut. Weakly he reaches out a hand and grabs Spock's shirt. He gives a half-hearted tug and the Vulcan leans over him with Bones' gaze focused on him.

"Thanks Spock…you too…Bones…" He mumbles and he hears the Doctor's pshh.

"No problem Jim, no problem." Bones says before his mind drifts off.

He's slowly fading, ignoring the slight commotion from his two best friends. The best he can do now is rest and save it for later. For awhile there he thought he was a goner, guess Bones and Spock has proven him wrong. It isn't the first time, and he hopes it won't be the last. He'll need a few more miracles. One for his ship, one for his crew, and one for the three of them, because he isn't quite sure if they're all gonna make it out alive this time. One of them might just be goner.

And he prays to god it's him. He can't afford to lose one of them on his watch. He really prays to god it's him…oh god please let it be him…

 **Author's Note: So yeah this chapter came in quicker than I thought, and it really isn't necessary, just a little Jim whump. It also kinda dwells into their relationship. I also liked the Bones and Spock dialogue, I'm not sure if you did but I thought it was pretty accurate. I'm hoping this next chapter will tie more of the story together and hopefully explain what's going on. But c'mon guys, it's me, I honestly have no idea what's gonna happen, I'm about as clueless as you :D. Well thanks peoples for being awesome and for breaking my reviews record! Yall are the best and please stayed tuned for more upcoming Star Trek awesomeness.**


	7. Runnin

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 7: 'Runnin' _Adam Lambert_**

"I believe he's coming around Doctor." A voice announces.

"Hush up Spock, it doesn't matter, let the Captain rest." The second voice replies, sounding agitated.

"You know very well Doctor that the longer we wait, the lower the possibility of saving the ship is." The first voice continues.

"I know very well damn it! And we won't be able to do anything if Jim is incapacitated-and no Spock, we're not leaving him behind." The voice growls, but releases a stressed sigh.

"Well in that case, how are we supposed to reach the others? I know Mr. Scott, Lieutenant Sulu, and Lieutenant Uhura are being held in the holding cells. If we can get to them, we might have a chance at defeating the Klingons." The first voice states logically.

"I know Spock, I know. And what the hell are Klingons doing out of the Neutral Zone anyways? Are they trying to start a war, damn it." The voice utters slowly.

He knows these voices. They're his friends…Spock and Bones.

"I believe Doctor, it is not them who have crossed the border. If my calculations are correct, it is us who have crossed into the Neutral Zone." A voice replies, obviously Spock.

"Spock, how'd the hell did we wind up inside the Neutral Zone? I don't remember Jim giving any order." And that's the Doctor.

Of course Bones criticizes him behind his back. Typical.

"Because he didn't purposely cross the border. Do you remember the shockwave that had hit the Enterprise minutes before her crash?" Spock defends him.

Thank you Spock. That damned explosion is to blame…wait, what?

"Yeah." Grunts Bones.

"Well Doctor, that shockwave was caused by a supernova-" Spock announces and Bones snorts.

"You don't say!" The Doctor chirps.

Supernova…yup, doesn't ring a bell. Shit. Is he really this concussed?

"Indeed Doctor, unfortunately for us, we were too close and the shock damaged the ship's Warp drive, causing us to mindlessly drift across the border while you were down in sickbay." Spock informs Bones.

"But wait, this all happened in seconds, how did we end up crossing the border so quickly? What was Jim doing so close? The bastard should get some common sense." Bones demands.

He moans, nobody calls him a bastard and gets away with it.

Spock and Bones make shuffling noises, but make no attempt to stir him further.

"He'll come around on his own. Now, please, explain Mr. Spock." Bones tells the Vulcan.

"The Captain was preoccupied." Spock states.

Wait, was he banging a chick beforehand? What is this? He's pretty sure he isn't that irresponsible.

"Preoccupied? Well, I don't believe it, the Captain was distracted! What was he doing exactly? And how come I wasn't informed of all of this?" Bones proclaims.

So much sarcasm, thanks Bones, really. What a wonderful friend you are.

"Well Doctor, the Captain was preoccupied with an argument with the Federation counsel plus the chaos after the Klingon strike. And for your delay in being informed, I am informing you now." Spock says defensively.

Oh, so that's what he was doing. That damned meeting. Lasted all of a couple minutes… but seemed like goddamned hours…

"Thanks Spock, sometimes the kid forgets to tell me these things…" Bones trails off, releasing a huff.

"Or he simply chooses not to inform you. You must realize Jim is human, and will purposely hide things, even if it is the illogical thing to do." Spock points out, and Spock's right, he is human.

And this sarcastic human bastard will tell people what he damn well pleases, thank you very much.

"I forget he's very young, he makes mistakes. He carries too much weight, so much responsibility, stress, pressure…it isn't right Spock. And him keeping it all to himself..." Bones replies softly, he almost doesn't catch it.

Bones has a heart, how sweet. The two of them will kill him if they found out that he's been eavesdropping this whole time.

"I agree. Stress has a negative effect on the human anatomy." Spock declares and he can imagine Bones rolling his eyes.

"Cause I didn't already know that." Bones states.

"Doctor, when I melded with Kirk and our minds became one. I found him surrounded in darkness, a single light emanating from the sky like a spotlight. Where did this memory come from? I fear he is hiding something." Spock asks suddenly.

The topic makes his stomach twist. Why is Spock mentioning this? He doesn't wanna hear about it.

"Spock, you are familiar with his past correct?" Bones asks suspiciously.

"Indeed Doctor." Spock replies firmly.

"Then you should very well know the shit Jim has gone through…that damned planet." Bones says, the Doctor's sympathy for him showing.

"You speak of Tarsus IV, correct?" Spock questions.

His gut tightens. Tarsus IV. Nobody has mentioned that name in awhile. He likes it that way. He doesn't want them to continue, he's heard enough.

He gives a soft groan and shifts his body weight.

The voices stop and he can feel their eyes penetrating his skull.

"Jim? You awake?" Bones asks, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

He fights the drowsiness; he wants to open his eyes.

Slowly eye lids peel back, revealing two blue marbles.

"Would you look at that, Jim Kirk is back with the living." Bones states with glee.

"Doctor, Jim Kirk has never left us, therefore he has been with the living this whole time." Spock objects and Bones just gives the logical Vulcan a scowl.

"That's besides the point Mr. Spock." Bones replies sharply and returns his gaze back on him.

"How ya feel kid?" The Doctor asks.

He grunts, his body is just overall sore, but he can probably suck it up.

"I think I'll live." He grins, but his voice is gruff and barely audible.

"Sure, Jim, sure." Bones chuckles and then glances about, half expecting a Klingon patrol.

"Well, it seems we should start moving since there's no patrols close by, plus Mr. Spock will start throwing a fit." Bones says, climbing out from underneath the metal staircase.

Bones stands straight and arcs his back in a long refreshing stretch.

"I believe I would not throw fit Doctor, for I am Vulcan and Vulcans do not throw fits." Spock states somewhat seriously and Bones just laughs it off.

"Well Mr. Spock, will you please get Kirk to his feet, and try not to jostle him around. I don't wanna hafta reset the bone again." Bones says.

Spock then bends over him, sliding his hands underneath his limp torso. Slowly he's brought up and resting comfortably in the Vulcan's arms. Usually this would be the time to complain, but the last time he walked by himself he ended up having a rib puncture through his skin.

Don't want that happening again now do we?

"I believe the best course of action is heading towards one of the Enterprise's armories. Even though it will more than likely be heavily guarded." Spock states and Bones looks their way.

The Doctor's expression is deep in thought, as if images are playing through his mind.

"Alright, agreed. After that we have to find a way back to sickbay. We need to find Scotty." Bones declares and leads the small group off quietly.

His breathing is heavy, shallow gulps of air filling his lungs. Spock can sense his discomfort, but leaves the limp body cradled in his arms. The Vulcan can feel the waves of nauseating heat. It's overbearing.

Spock continues on, following the Doctor, not giving complaint when Bones chooses a slower route.

He moans, Spock's jostling him too much. Bones doesn't defend him, the Doctor remains silent, as if something has disturbed the peace, which then again, something has disturbed the peace. Damned Klingons.

He tries to shift in Spock's arms, but the Vulcan only keeps him secured, not allowing any movement.

He hates this, being immobilized, stuck being carried around like an infant. This is not what should be happening, he needs to be kicking some Klingon ass, not struggling to breathe.

Anger boils, resentment burning its way into his soul.

He needs to get rid of the Klingons; he has to get them off his ship and the hell away from his imprisoned crew. Plus, figure out what the heck happened to his noggin, he's still missing a couple of memories.

He sighs, this isn't going to be easy, it might be one of the hardest things he has to do. Running away would be much easier. Packing his bags and leaving this shit behind him. Yup, that would be much easier.

But to carry on the legacy of his father, Kirk, he will have to prove himself, to his crew, to his superiors, to his friends, to Spock, to Bones. They deserve it, they deserve much better actually. He's been a crappy Captain, making decisions even adolescents without a high school diploma could make better. Its common sense. He's losing his.

He moans his worries and thoughts away as Spock adjusts him. Even the slight shifting causes his ribs to flame in irritation. If he wasn't such a stupid bastard…

"Here, set him down, he's in too much pain." Bones whispers and leads them into a small closed off closet.

In the closet are cleaning supplies and a few boxes of old reports.

Gently Spock lies him down upon the undusted floor. He doesn't give complaint when Bones begins to prod at his bruises and scrapes. The Vulcan stands, still shirtless since his shirt was used to collect blood.

Spock goes through the closet, finding some basic black t-shirts in the back. The Vulcan hands Bones two and puts one on.

"Good thinking Spock." Bones grumbles and takes off the blue blood-stained medical shirt and replaces it with the ragged black one.

"Here, sit up kid. Lemme get this on you…" Bones mumbles.

Bones and Spock graciously bring him into a sitting position. He pants, his vision blurring. He'll be fine.

"Steady there." Bones mutters, gripping onto his shoulder to keep him upright.

"Alright, hold him right there Mr. Spock, I'll get this shirt over his big head." Bones continues, stretching the collar of the shirt and fitting it over his head.

He groans as the shirt scrapes against the cuts on his face and pinches the bruises.

"Sorry." Bones utters.

He smiles, his cracked lips splitting.

"No apologies." He breathes, feeling each arm gently be raised and slid through the armhole.

His ribs scream in complaint as his left arm goes up. He winces and Bones' eyes harden, but the Doctor continues. Slowly the shirt is pulled down and is smoothed out by Bones. The Doctor gives a smirk when the job is complete.

He now sits there, wearing his black boxers and new shirt. Great, at least he's somewhat clothed now. He still would prefer some pants, but the shirt isn't too bad. It smells slightly, probably hasn't been washed in the past year, but he can live with it.

Spock eases him back down, allowing Bones to further examine him.

He feels the hands brush the shirt up and graze over the stitched up puncture wound. His skin tingles, it's still sensitive. He squirms, the hands stay where they are though, they're not going anywhere. A moan escapes, he's tired, uncomfortable, exhausted.

Hey, it's been a long day alright?

"Calm down Jim, it's alright." Bones says soothingly, taking another quick look at his hip and giving a hummpf.

Spock remains emotionless, which is normal for the Vulcan. Bones continues to fret under his breath, murmuring a few strings of curse words, which Spock raises an eyebrow to.

"Is there a problem Doctor McCoy?" Spock asks, the Vulcan's unwavering gaze switching from him to the Doctor.

"No, well yes, why there is. It appears our idiot Captain has a few infections. Nothing too serious but they will need to be treated soon, or we could be talkin' serious." Bones replies through clenched teeth, glaring at him with squinted eyes.

"Doctor, after we retrieve some phasers from the armory, we can head to sickbay to release the crew. There we can treat the Captain properly." Spock states.

"Yes of course…Jim why don't you get some sleep? You look tired kid." Bones tells him softly, the Doctor's gaze going from the logical Vulcan to him.

He nods his head, his mouth dry.

Bones gives him a comforting smile.

He shuts his eyes. Feeling the exhaustion pulling him into a deep slumber. For once he finds sleep easily. It's either the crappy day or the crappy headache that's forming beneath his brow. Whichever one it is, he doesn't mind the darkness. But what surprises him is that there isn't any darkness. His dreams are lucid, very lifelike…

 _He stands, hands on hips, a smirk forming on his tender lips, hey that rhymed! His golden hair reflects the gleaming starlight. Spock was at his own chair, examining strange patterns which were emanating from a star. He releases a sigh, he doesn't mind the boring days._

 _"Captain? Starfleet is hailing us on a private frequency. They're requesting that you meet with them immediately." Lieutenant Uhura states, swiveling around in her leather chair, legs crossed sexily._

 _He groans, rolling blue eyes._

 _So much for his wonderfully boring day._

 _"What do they want now?" He grumbles, licking his lips and stiffening his legs in refusal._

 _Spock gives him a glare, but doesn't say anything. The Vulcan's gaze is unreadable. He doesn't care, he's too busy being annoyed._

 _"I don't know sir. But they sound irritable, must be something urgent Captain." Nyota informs him, her being used to his stubbornness._

 _"Alright fine, Spock inform me if anything interesting happens. I'll be in my quarters." He says and stalks off, giving Uhura a nod and proceeds out the door._

 _He stomps all the way to his room, keeping his mouth clamped in frustration. They just had to ruin his day didn't they? Flipping Starfleet. Get your life together already._

 _He reaches his room, locking the door behind himself and seating himself at his black leathered chair. He sinks in, giving a stressful sigh before switching the monitor on._

 _One of the Admiral face's appear on the other side, and his disgusted frown tightens up into something more respectful. Quite honestly, he knows the guy, but can't place a finger on it. He doesn't care though, he'll just avoid saying the guy's name, that's all. Might get a bit awkward…_

 _"Captain Kirk." The unnamed man states clearly._

 _"Admiral, I wasn't expecting you to be hailing." He replies, dumbfounded._

 _"Yes, sorry about that, I would have given you a heads up. But this is serious Captain." Admiral Whatever informs him._

 _"So serious that you have to distract me from my important duties of a starship Captain?" He chirps, clenching his hands into fists._

 _"Watch the sarcasm Captain, if you don't handle this correctly, it can end badly." The Admiral states, the voice is stern, firm._

 _"Sorry Admiral." He replies quietly, the Admiral just nods, accepting his pathetic apology._

 _"Now, Captain you are alone yes?" The man questions, he nods, confirming the question._

 _"Very well then. I am here to inform you of some troubling news…Starfleet has reason to believe you have a mole aboard the Enterprise." The Admiral says, his expression solid._

 _His brain freezes. Starfleet what? Did the guy just say mole and Enterprise in the same sentence? That can't even be possible._

 _"You must be mistaken…" He trails off, his mind buzzing with possibilities._

 _"I'm afraid not Captain, appears some of the Enterprise's records have been stolen and have made it across the Neutral Zone." The Admiral replies._

 _"We have reason to believe that this traitor or insider is in league with the Klingons, or possibly the Romulans." The man explains._

 _His lips twitch. This is bad, extremely bad. This means the Enterprise will have to report back to the closest Starbase and undergo interrogation until the mole is found and punished accordingly. It can take weeks, more than likely months._

 _"Starfleet orders you to pull away from the border and head directly for the closest Starbase, there the Enterprise will be on official shore leave until we get this whole ordeal sorted out." The Admiral continues._

 _His jaw tightens, he doesn't like the sound of this. Great, just flipping great._

 _"Sir, with all due respect, I believe I can handle my crew accordingly and can decide the next course of action." He responds sharply._

 _"It isn't a choice Captain Kirk, this is a direct order from Starfleet. Direct violation of this order can lead to court martial, as you very well know Kirk." The Admiral grins, teeth clenched._

 _Admiral, permission to speak freely sir." He asks, chewing on his lip._

 _"Granted." The man grunts grumpily._

 _"The Enterprise needs to stay here a few more hours, for we are currently conducting valuable research-" He starts, but the Admiral cuts him off._

 _"Captain, I know of you and your infamous records, you shall report back immediately and drop any current missions or research you are conducting. Understood?" The Admiral snaps, eyes glaring at his skull._

 _"Understood. Admiral?" He speaks grudgingly._

 _"Yes Captain?" The Admiral sighs._

 _"I have an away team; it will take some time to retrieve them." He lies, keeping his face straight and serious._

 _"No bullshit Kirk." The man spits._

 _He feels like he should know the guy's name for crying out loud…_

 _"Not shitting you sir, the planet has some furious storms co-merging in the atmosphere so it may take some time to receive contact and be able to beam them up through the magnetic storm." He explains. Bull. Shit. All of it. He can't believe he just made that up on the go._

 _The Admiral's face screws over in thought, the man's gaze tightening. Damn the Admiral looks stubborn._

 _"Alright, you got four hours to hull your ass out of there, or Starfleet is gonna have your head on a silver platter." The man threatens._

 _"Looking forward to it sir." He replies sarcastically._

 _"I'm serious Kirk; you can get in real trouble for this. Just get your ass to Starbase ASAP. I don't want any heads to roll today." The Admiral continues, wiping a sweaty brow._

 _"Completely understood sir, no rolling heads." He mutters._

 _"And Kirk, watch the sass. You're lucky you only had to deal with me." The Admiral tells him._

 _He nods his head, he should be grateful. He prefers having this nameless Admiral which he's positive he's seen before. Just can't figure out the name. He's close to asking, but he decides that'd be too awkward._

 _"Sorry Admiral, won't happen again. Captain Kirk out." He replies and quickly kills the connection before the Admiral can say anything else._

 _He honestly really doesn't wanna hear it. Not today, not anytime ever actually._

 _He's getting to his feet with the ship shudders beneath him and the alarms go off._

 _"The hell…?" He moans, looking at the flaring red sirens._

 _His heart sinks. Shit. Not good at all. His heart pounds, hands becoming clammy with anticipation._

 _He runs out the door, sprinting down the halls and barely skidding around the corners. His pants are heavy, oxygen forcing its way into his lungs, bringing satisfaction._

 _He bursts into the Bridge, his gaze narrowed and his mind racing._

 _"Spock, the hell did you do to my ship?" He snaps angrily._

 _Honestly, his day has been completely ruined now. He wants a nap. Sleep it off._

 _"Unknown sir." Spock replies calmly, going over the diagnostics._

 _He frowns, his attitude skyrocketing. He doesn't want to put up with this. He's tired of it._

 _"Well hurry up and figure it out. Damage report Mr. Scott?" He speaks sternly, struggling to keep his demeanor stoic._

 _Only static came back. His face cringes._

 _"Mr. Scott? Scotty reply! Lieutenant Uhura, send a security team down to the Engine Room." He orders, drumming his fingers against the armrest of the captain's chair._

 _He's impatient, desperate, anxiety levels rising._

 _"Security team on its way. Captain Kirk, Doctor McCoy is requesting your presence at sickbay." Uhura informs him._

 _He grits his teeth, he doesn't have time for sickbay or Bones' crap._

 _"Captain, it appears we have taken significant damage in the Engine Room." Spock states, not glancing over at him._

 _"Thank you Mr. Spock. Uhura, ask McCoy if it can wait." He tells her, glancing over at Sulu and Chekov._

 _"Sulu, take us away from the border. Haul ass back to Starbase." He demands, flexing his fingers._

 _"Yes sir." Sulu replies and applies forward thrust._

 _"Uhh sir, we're not moving." Chekov stutters, the Russian accent really breaking in._

 _He groans, his day is just really not working right now._

 _"It appears we're just drifting sir." Sulu states, glancing back at him._

 _He feels everybody's gaze is upon him, waiting for his next order. His heart pains, his mind cringing._

 _"Captain, McCoy says it's urgent. And the security team reports major damage to the Warp Core, Scotty and the team appear to be fine, only suffering from minor injuries." Uhura says, he looks her way, her expression is worried, but he doesn't let that bother him._

 _"Thank you Lieutenant. Mr. Spock, you have the com." He states, standing up and brushing off his golden uniform before proceeding to the exit._

 _Uhura's gaze follows him out until the elevator door closes, blocking him from sight._

 _He sighs, stress is building up, threatening to boil over. What the heck does Bones want right now? The Enterprise's engines just blew and now Bones is requesting that he meets him in sickbay? Better be urgent._

 _He's half way to sickbay when Spock coms him._

 _"Captain, it appears that the star we have been monitoring has become unstable. If we do not get the Warp engines back online, we may get hit with a supernova shockwave." Spock explains._

 _He rolls his eyes. Screw. His. Life._

 _"Noted, thank you Spock." He grumbles in reply and continues to jog to sickbay._

 _He mutters under his breath the whole way there, whining and complaining._

 _Suddenly the floor shakes, the ship gives a groan. He stops dead in his tracks. To his right is dark closed off room, it's the old recreation room, which was torn down after they had a remodel. There's commotion inside._

 _He chews his lower lip, grinding his teeth. He has a feeling he might be grinding his teeth a lot in the future._

 _He takes a few paces forward. His stomach twisting into knots._

 _He can hear something, people are inside. He steps into the room, his eyes adjusting to the inefficient light. He's creeping to the other side of the room when the outside wall gives a complaint._

 _Before he can even flinch the wall explodes, launching him backwards. He hits the ground with a disturbing crack, his head slamming onto the cold floor._

 _His vision blurs and blood fills his mouth._

 _He coughs harshly, watching figures walk past him, not even taking notice of his presence._

 _He closes his eyes, he doesn't know how long it's been when he opens them again._

 _He groans, grabbing his communicator._

 _"Spock…I think…there's Klingons…" He pants._

 _God it's hard to speak._

 _"Captain, what is your location?" Spock asks immediately and simultaneously ordering security teams to search for him and find the intruders._

 _"Old rec room…Bones…" He moans, his vision is fading, turning black._

 _He hears Spock's voice say his name, but he doesn't care anymore. Everything hurts. His ribs feel cracked and his legs sting._

 _He's panicking, his breath hitching. His lungs claw for air. He squeezes his eyes shut._

 _"Jim!" A voice shouts over the buzzing of cut wires._

 _"Jim you're gonna be alright…" The voice continues._

 _He groans when something touches him. He wants the hands to leave him alone._

 _The world begins to shake again, more explosions and rupturing walls. Chaos fills the ship._

 _He's thrashing back and forth, ignoring the hands trying to help him._

 _"No, no…no no-no." He mumbles, still fighting._

 _"Jim wake up!_ Jim wake up damn it!" Bones snaps.

He opens his eyes, bolting upright into a sitting position, his frightened gaze scanning the room. They weren't in the closest anymore. But he decides it doesn't matter where they are, as long as they're safe and away from danger.

"You were dreaming." Bones explains quietly, easing him back down upon the charred floor.

He nods. Damn that dream was realistic. Scared the shit outta him.

"What were you dreaming about?" Bones questions, looking down at him.

"I think I just remembered what happened…" He mutters, his thoughts roaming freely.

"What do you remember exactly?" Bones pries, giving Spock a look before concentrating back on him.

He shifts uncomfortably on the floor.

"Everything, I just remembered everything." He replies, meeting Bones' gaze.

Now that he remembers everything, things seem to clear up. He doesn't need to run away. He needs to run to the fight. He's been standing here for far too long, watching everything happen before his eyes. It's like the world is on repeat, everything's coming back around, only this time he's gonna do something about it. He's not gonna run away, he's gonna dive head first into it.

 **Author's Note: Yeah okay, so this chapter is super duper long for me anyways. I hope this clears things up and kinda explains what's been going on lately. And the nameless Admiral, well, let's just say I don't know what name to give him so I just made Jim forget his name lol. SooOOOoo I have lots of finals coming up and some stinking EOC and AP Tests this week, so I don't know when the next chapter is coming in. I'd like to thank yall for being the best followers ever, I have officially hit 41, which is crazy! I've never had this many. I'd also like to thank yall for the reviews and favs! You guys are awesome and I hope to post another chapter soon. And I'm not sure, but I feel like the book should be called Less Confused, cos Jim is finally putting two and two together to get four lol. Well thanks for reading yall are amazing. Live Long and Prosper, cos I'm probs gonna die at a young age with all my late nights.**


	8. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 8: 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' _Green Day_**

A few shuddering breaths escape him, he concentrates but his vision wavers. His fingers curl into fists, his muscles ready for action. But, he can only watch hopelessly as Bones and Spock carry out the real work.

He's sitting back, against the damaged walls of his once magnificent ship. She's beaten alright but she's not out of the fight, not yet.

He would be more at ease if he could help, but with Bones threatening to kill him if he moves, he fears Bones more than the Klingon patrol. Bones can harm him in ways a person can never dream of, and he likes Bones to keep that side a secret.

So he sits and waits, not patiently, but he waits nonetheless.

Spock's creeping silently along the wall, Bones following right behind. His heart races, he should be with them.

The Vulcan gives the command and the Doctor freezes on the spot, glancing at the Vulcan's raised fist. Spock peers around the corner, gazing down the hall at the armory which has a few guards posted. Fortunately for them, the armory is locked, and only Starfleet personnel can get in.

He watches his friends closely as they disappear around the corner. He only hopes that they'll be okay.

Shifting his body weight he lets out a groan. His muscles ache and his ribs felt like they were burning. But overall, he can live with it, if it meant saving the Enterprise. Definitely for the Enterprise.

He licks his dried lips, still flexing his muscles. He hears commotion, a couple of thuds and hushed screams. Then it falls completely silent. Dread washes over him. He can't stand the silence. He wants to see what's going on.

But he must stay put. Bones will be furious if he finds out he even moved an inch.

The fear increases as the seconds add up and turn into minutes. All his worst fears play before his mind. What if they were captured? What if they're dead? Or dying? What if they need his help?

His heart races, pounding like a drum in his ears. The ache in his heart is too overpowering. He has to know what is happening.

Slowly he gets to his feet, ignoring all the red flags going off in his head. Hey he can always blame it on the concussion right?

His steps are heavy, his feet barely gliding across the ground. He hasn't been walking around on his own much and he feels like he has to learn how to walk all over again.

He mutters his complaints when he almost stumbles over with surprise. He grinds his teeth and continues forward until he reaches the wall. With a shallow breath he peers over at the other side, looking down the gleaming hallway with anticipation.

His eagerness takes over him as he treks slowly down the hall, pressing his back up against the white interior wall. His breathing becomes ragged, his heart beats faster, his brain starts to pound.

So much adrenaline.

Outside the armory door are two Klingon bodies, more than likely just unconscious. He stumbles over to them cautiously, glaring at them curiously before stepping inside the room.

With his first step inside his shirt is grabbed and he's pushed against the wall. A hand pauses in mid strike, almost grasping his shoulder.

"Captain?" Spock states curiously, obviously the Vulcan didn't expect him, which is odd Spock rarely seems surprised.

"Spock, do you mind letting go of me?" He replies sarcastically, giving the Vulcan an eye roll.

He stiffens up immediately once Bones comes into sight. And let's just say, the Doctor is not happy, you'd have more luck convincing a Vulcan to do the chicken dance than to wipe the look off of Bones' face.

"Jim, what did I tell you damn it?" Bones growls.

"I couldn't stand being out there all alone, I had to know if you guys made it inside." He points out, keeping his voice lowered, hoping Bones will do the same.

"I told you I would get you myself; you're not supposed to be up and about. I don't wanna replace another shirt." The Doctor continues to grumble, pushing him down onto his rear.

"Bones, c'mon, really it's not a big deal." He responds, stretching his legs out casually while Spock begins to dig out some phasers.

"Not a big deal? Not a big deal hmm? You're saying that me doing open surgery on you, while you were conscious was not a big deal? I don't wanna do that again Jim…I just can't see you like that anymore. So you can either A: listen to what I tell you and obey it. Or B: screw yourself over and I knock you out, tie you to a chair and leave you there until I get this whole ordeal sorted out. Did you get that through your thick skull Captain?" Bones snaps, narrowing brown eyes on him.

He flinches slightly, he knew the Doctor would be mad, but Bones legitimately seems angry with him. Hmmm.

"Sorry Bones, won't happen again." He mumbles, his head dropping in defeat.

Bones shows no sympathy.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you, what did you say?" Bones questions sarcastically, bending over him.

His stomach churns. Bones can be a real bastard sometimes…

"I said I'm sorry, and it won't happen again." He says robotically, not meeting the Doctor's gaze, he doesn't want to.

"Alright good. Now this time stay put while Spock and I sort things out." Bones informs him and stalks off.

He moans, pain welling in his heart. He knew this was going to happen, why did he do it? He can be real stupid sometimes, but it's just in his nature, making stupid idiotic decisions and Bones knows this. So why the heck is Bones so mad about it?

Bones really hasn't gotten much sleep either; well he's had plenty, only because of his condition though. The Doctor must be really tired then.

He sighs, he's gotta make life easier on Bones from now on. No stupid mistakes, not annoying jokes, no crappy complaining, just nada. No more.

He can do that right? Can't be too hard, just gotta keep his loud mouth shut for a couple of hours, that's all. Easier said than done. Literally.

He's concentrating on his breathing when Spock and Bones make their appearance back into the scarce light. He glances up, not looking at Bones but firmly on the Vulcan.

"Captain, we've been able to confiscate several phasers and explosives. The explosives we can use for breaking our shipmates out of captivity." Spock informs him, noticing the death glare coming from Bones.

"Right, good thinking." He replies, dropping his gaze, avoiding Bones' suspicious look.

He can feel the Doctor's gaze burn into his skull.

"Why don't we tie up those Klingons before we get comfortable? I don't want them running off." Bones states.

"That would be most logical." Spock says with the tilt of his head.

The pair then leave the room, leaving him to wallow in his misery for a brief few moments before they return with a Klingon body. They slowly heave the intruder over, taking any weapons and communicators. Spock and Bones then placed him in a small closest, full of medical supplies, which the Doctor quickly snatches some and places it by him before returning to grab the other Klingon.

With both Klingons in the closest, they shut the door, locking it from the outside and overriding the door commands so the Klingons can't open it from the inside.

"Now that we've taken care of that, let's take care of you." Bones grumbles, settling beside him.

He tenses slightly, still avoiding Bones' face. Bones doesn't care.

"Take your shirt off." The Doctor mutters, digging out some supplies.

He does what he's told, without argument or hesitation. He grabs the hems of his shirt and brings it up over his head and off his arms; he does this with many grunts and hisses of pain.

Bones ignores him, simply waiting with a scowl, even the Vulcan doesn't want to interrupt.

"Now lie down for me." Bones orders, patting the floor, the look still not of off the Doctor's face.

Its gonna be a long day, he can tell.

He lies down with a huff, shutting his blue eyes. He hears the whirring of the tricorder over his body, Bones mumbling silently.

He clamps his mouth shut, not speaking a word. Spock just stands back, keeping silent watch of the hallway.

The Doctor pulls his boxers slightly down, looking at his hip; the gash is infected, purple swelling around and pus leaking out. The smell isn't much better either. Bones applies pressure, hearing him moan in pain and the pus comes out.

The Doctor needs to get the wound clean, but it will be painful.

He sighs, feeling the pressure ease. He opens his eyes and sees Bones' determined gaze fixated on his hip. Oh shit.

"This might hurt a little…" Bones tells him.

That's what you said last time.

"Painkillers maybe?" He groans, wincing with the Doctor's touch.

"The only painkillers I have on me are the ones you're allergic too." Bones replies, not looking at him because the Doctor doesn't want to see the look of dread and despair written across his pasty face.

"Alright, go ahead." He grits his teeth and Bones doesn't wait.

The Doctor digs out disinfectant wipes, towels and other medical supplies he can't make out.

Bones wipes his hands before touching the infected area, proceeding with little caution. He's wincing when the Doctor starts to push the pus out. His breathing hitches and his vision spins. He wants Bones to stop, to give up, but he knows it's for the best.

He's squirming, sweat building up; his hip is leaking a mixture of thick pus and blood. It doesn't look good.

Bones stops after a couple of minutes of working it out. The wound is now covered in the thick gunk.

He's shivering, spasms coursing his body. Pain is relevant on his scrunched face. His hands clench into fists, his breathing coming in gasps. A cool hand places itself onto his forehead.

Bones can feel the fever rising back up. The Doctor can also feel all the tremors wracking his frail body. Spock on the other hand remains silent, not making a comment.

"Bones…?" He pitifully moans, his breathing is shaky and his vision won't focus.

Bones doesn't reply, he just removes the hand from his forehead continues to work the rest of the pus out.

He muffles his screams by biting down onto his already split lips. He doesn't cry though, he doesn't let a single tear slip. He keeps his mouth shut when Bones starts to wipe the gash with the disinfectant wipes. It starts to sting, but he continues to remain silent. But his face says everything.

Bones ignores him though and proceeds to bandage it up tightly, causing him to wince in pain. Spock throughout the process remains completely emotionless, either the Vulcan actually doesn't care, or has the sense not to intervene.

Once done the Doctor gets up and takes his place beside Spock, glancing at the hallway briefly before strapping on a phaser and sorting through some of the medical supplies.

He's lying on the floor, shaking, his hand applying pressure to his right hip. His breaths are noisy and his muffled cries of pain are echoing slightly.

"Quiet over there. You got ten minutes to rest before we head out." Bones scowls, building up a wall that he longs to tear down.

He squeezes his eyes shut, letting his body convulse with each jitter. Footsteps approach him and he feels a hand on his shoulder. He opens his blue bloodshot eyes, meeting the Vulcan's intense stare.

The relief of Spock's presence is enough to make his body relax and stop shaking. Bones stands in the doorway, the look of guilt written across his face, but the Doctor's expression quickly disappears when he glances over at him.

Spock keeps the hand there, giving him a reassuring squeeze every now and again. It comforts him. The Vulcan remains by his side for quite some time, letting the Doctor take guard of the hallway.

Bones looks impatient, the Doctor keeps giving side glances over at them and then back to the hall. Bones is anxious, foot tapping un-rhythmically onto the hard floor. Spock senses the Doctor's discomfort, but the Vulcan's first priority is to the Captain, the same goes for the Doctor.

"Alright, we gotta go." Bones tells them, collecting the medical supplies, Spock just raises an eyebrow.

"It has only been five minutes and twenty-three seconds. You gave the Captain ten." Spock replies sharply, but Bones doesn't care anymore.

"Plans change Mr. Spock." Bones snaps, the way the Doctor said the Vulcan's name makes him cringe.

Bones must be real pissed off.

"Doctor-" Spock starts, he cuts the Vulcan off.

"It's alright Spock. McCoy's right." He says, using Bones' real name just to show how pissed off he is.

Bones cringes. The Doctor isn't used to being called 'McCoy' by him. It sounds weird off of his tongue.

"Very well." Spock states and stands up, helping him to his feet.

"Now hurry up, we can't waste any time. We've already spent too much time patching the Captain up." Doctor McCoy says, already heading out the door.

Spock looks into his eyes briefly, but remains silent. He gives a nod. He knows. Spock understands his nod.

With his arm draped around Spock's shoulders, he starts to walk. He limps heavily, wincing with every step. His breath whistles through teeth, his chest restricting with each heave.

The further they go, the looser he becomes. Sweat is building up on his brow, but the adrenaline is kicking in.

They continue for some time, McCoy leading the way. The Doctor is cautious, checking around corners and listening for any Klingons. McCoy looks like a real pro out there.

His heart sinks. McCoy's mad at him. How can he annoy the Doctor so much? What has he done wrong? Just a few simple mistakes down the road and now he's wound up here. He's gotten so close to saving his ship, but he's also gotten his so close to losing one of his best friends. How can live with himself? When it comes down to it, is the ship more important than his friendship with the Doctor? It must be.

The ship is his top priority, everyone else comes second. Himself comes third.

He continues his struggle for oxygen, gripping tightly onto the Vulcan as if he is his lifeline. Spock's unfazed, his weight not affecting the Vulcan.

"Spock, we're getting close to sickbay, set him down over there and give him a phaser. We'll have to continue without him." McCoy orders.

He shudders. McCoy wants to leave him behind? Since when!

Spock looks at him. For a split second, the look of sympathy is relevant in the Vulcan's eyes, but it quickly vanishes.

"I do not believe that is a wise decision." Spock counters, still holding onto him.

"Spock, if we want to do this efficiently, you'll have to put the Captain down, I can't plant the explosives by myself." The Doctor points out.

"That is logical. But it is illogical to leave the Captain behind. He would be left vulnerable. He could be captured." Spock replies, his voice remaining steady.

"Spock. If we don't break out the rest of the crew soon, we'll be captured! Plus that's why I said give him a phaser, he'll be fine." McCoy snaps.

"Spock, do as he says." He tells his first officer slowly, not looking at McCoy.

Spock nods his head.

"Very well Captain. We will return for you shortly." Spock informs him, handing him a phaser and setting him up against the wall.

"Alright, c'mon Mr. Spock." McCoy dashes off with Spock on his heels.

He sighs. He's alone. All by himself. He feels unsettled, his nerves are tingling. Something's wrong with the Doctor and he wants to know what. He grips the gun tightly. It's so tempting, he can just end his life so easily. But no matter how lonely, depressed, anxious, or stressed he gets, he'll never end his life so selfishly.

His ship needs him, Spock needs him, McCoy needs him (whether the Doctor believes it or not). There's too much pressure, too much weight on his shoulders to just give up so easily.

He fiddles with the phaser, his fingers wrapping around the hand and a finger on the trigger.

He's ready, he's waiting, he's impatient. He wants to help, but he knows if he moves this time, McCoy will surely have his head on a silver platter. No escaping the Doctor.

He sighs, releasing an unsteady breath. The anxiety and stress of the past couple of hours, or days, he doesn't even know anymore, bear down onto his shoulders. His eyes droop, but he keeps them peeled. His gaze is wavering, but he can manage, he'll have to manage.

Biting his tongue he looks down the hall, the longing in his heart is overwhelming but he must stay put. For his sake and the Doctors.

McCoy. He can't even say his nickname which has become second nature to him. Its odd sounding, but he can only call him that, McCoy. He's being stubborn, too stubborn and he knows it.

He remains silent for a few minutes, his grip on the phaser loosening.

Sounds of slapping feet make his head perk upright, glancing suspiciously down the hall in search of the source. He finds nothing. With caution, he gets to his feet, swaying enough that he can just imagine the scowl McCoy would be giving him now.

With a determined mind, he steps forward, taking each step lightly until his head stops spinning. He's grinding his teeth, glancing anxiously back and forth. His thoughts tell him that McCoy's gonna kill him, but his gut tells him to keep searching.

He heads the opposite way, hearing the slight sound of commotion further down the hall. His breaths are barely audible; he's gone into stealth mode. Feet are expertly placed in sequence, if one didn't know any better they'd assume that they were alone. The swiftness of these steps is an entirely different matter though.

He lets muscle memory take over as he rounds the corner, phaser raised, ready for action. As he peers around the corner, a fist meets his face, causing him to stumble over in confusion.

Phaser skidding across the floor, hand-to-hand combat training kicks in. Gracefully he sweeps the intruder's legs, causing the person to fall over with a thud. Another one comes from behind, grabbing him by his hair. With a sharp tug, he's up to his feet, but even with the pain welling around his skull, he fights back.

He bends over, grabbing the person's shirt and tossing that person over his shoulder onto the ground. The man lands with a cracking sound. Before he can recover, the first person attacks him. He crashes into the wall with an 'oof!' and followed by a sharp groan.

With his attacker in his face, he can now clearly see that he's Klingon, and he doesn't look to happy. Getting kneed into the gut, he starts to lose the battle swiftly, his ribs jumbling out of place with each excruciating impact.

An explosion erupts from further down the hall, causing the whole ship to shake and groan her complaint. His attacker pauses, he takes advantage of the moment. Snatching the Klingon's armor, he yanks the intruder's head down and knees upwards. The Klingon's nose breaks with a crunch and his attacker lets out a growl.

But he's out of breath, his vision is spinning. He feels a hand on his head. It grips his hair tightly, throwing him to the floor. He struggles to his feet, his vision getting blurrier by the second. The other Klingon has recovered by now and is joining in on the fun.

He's kicked, punched, and thrown around. Blood that he can't afford to lose leaking out across the floor.

After a few moments they stop, he's on the floor, just a bloody pulp. The two Klingons then begin to speak in their native tongue, which just goes straight over his head.

Two pairs of arms pull him to his feet, shoving him upright. Struggling against them, he's unable to free himself. He's slowly dragged through the corridor, just wishing that Spock and McCoy will be able to find him.

His head hangs, blood seeping from his lips. His heartbeat is shallow. He glances groggily at the ground. His shadow, his shadow follows him. He must be truly broken if the only thing that follows him is his shadow, but the shadow isn't even his own and that worries him.

 **Author's Note: Okay, so the ending I did not plan whatsoever but it's all good lol! And don't worry, some real butt kicking is on its way. I promise I won't kill anybody though, unless you want me to, cos honestly I can turn this into a death fiction, but I don't think people want that. Well thanks for reading yall are amazing! Literally. Yall are the best group of fans I've had on any fictions so far. P.S. you guys are my favorite! Don't tell anyone I said that lol. Thanks for reading this far and sticking with me! And by the way I've finished up my ISATs/SBACs/EOCs and AP test so I'm all good. All I have left is some finals next week so good luck to anyone else who is testing! Thanks for reviewing, favoriting, and following this fiction! Honestly it makes my day every time I get an email telling me someone has favorited, followed, or reviewed this story! Love ya guys! Thank you for being amazing, I'll stop ranting now lol. Live Long and Prosper. Yall are da best.**


	9. Demons

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 9: 'Demons' _Imagine Dragons_**

He's been through worse. He keeps telling himself that. But the more he tells himself the more he doubts it. He's never experienced this much pain, despair, loneliness. He longs to be with Spock, with McCoy…Bones.

He wants Bones desperately. He doesn't care if they're supposed to be mad at each other. He wants Bones here, beside him, reassuring him, caring for him. Bones is his lifeline, his only hope. He doesn't care how gay that sounds. He knows deep down without Bones he wouldn't be alive today, he would have never made it this far…he has come so far.

He's stepped onto thriving planets, jumped to new solar systems, leapt over huge galaxies, and has traveled through space and time, yet he cannot even mend a friendship. He can talk all about his job, his ship, his home, his sex life, but the simple subject of his best friend can make him squirm awkwardly.

The only problem is that he doesn't know how to fix what he has wronged. To undo the past events, to change time, to change history, which is especially hard to do with your hands cuffed behind your back and a bag over your head. Yeah, that can make it quite difficult.

What makes it even worse is that the bag smells. At the very least the Klingons could've washed it before they stuffed it over his head and called it good. He will be very appreciative if they can just throw it through the wash real quick.

But no, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. He's stuck here, sitting in a metal chair with a gun pointed to his head. He knows that the gun is there because he can feel it on his head, the barrel digging into the side of his skull. It's an uncomfortable feeling, but one he has gotten used to over the past couple of years.

Not his first kidnapping, especially aboard his own ship. No shame.

He shifts slightly, easing the aching pain in his ribs. He can only hope that Bones and Spock come to the rescue. He doesn't know how much time has passed, or if Bones and Spock were successful in releasing the crew.

Hopes aren't enough. He needs reassurance, he needs to know.

He's fidgeting terribly when someone grips his throat and the bag is removed from his head. Squinting, he looks up staring into the dark soulless eyes of a Klingon.

"Good morning." He chirps, giving a boyish grin to confiscate for his brutal looks.

The Klingon leans closer; he can feel the hot breath panting against his face, "Captain Kirk. What an honor. I am General Toq and I am the new leader of this vessel." General Toq introduces, giving a slight mocking bow. The sneer on the Klingon's face didn't help much either.

"Nice to meet you. Now if you please, can you explain to me why the hell you're on my ship?" He snaps, the last bit coming out as a croak as the fingers closed in around his throat.

"I will be asking the questions human." Toq replies, lifting him out of his chair and into the air.

His feet dangle and he thrashes in the grip. He's suffocating and all he can do is stare hopelessly into the eyes of his captor. He feels pathetic.

"You're quite a stubborn race. It's a mystery how you have survived for so long." The General monologues, pressing him up against the wall and slowly easing him down so he can stand on his tiptoes.

Toq examines him, glancing at him thoroughly before completely releasing him. He hits the ground with a thud and looks up with glazy eyes, wheezing for breath.

Despite his situation, he can only make it worse, "You filthy Klingon-bastard. Get off my ship before I f-" He starts to rant, but the kick to the ribs makes him stop.

He keels over onto his side, blood filling his mouth. He glances up, red dripping from his lips. With a glare he spits onto Toq's shoes, a glob of blood landing squarely onto the Klingon's right boot.

Disgusted, Toq kicks him in the face, causing him to fall backwards and crush his hands underneath him.

He groans, fighting to stay conscious, but he's failing.

"Keep him awake, and prep him. I need him alive." Toq's voice states, slowly fading away with the other noises.

Slowly he's lifted up and carried away into another room. He's still fighting to remain conscious when he's placed onto a medical table and a familiar face enters the room.

The blue figure is being shoved into the room with him, shouting out all sorts of cuss words and complaints. The person is stumbling with the pushes, but stops resisting when the eyes fall upon him.

"Damn it Jim!" A voice snaps, despite the harshness, he feels oddly peaceful already.

He feels a comforting presence over him; soft soothing hands are over him. He relaxes and his breathing calms.

"That's a good boy Jim." The person continues, the sounds of a tricorder over him.

Groggily he opens his blue eyes meeting two brown eyes staring back. He's knows those eyes…it's Bones. He knew it.

"…Bones…?" He moans, slightly confused at the sight of his friend.

"Glad you're keeping the nickname Jimmy." The Doctor replies without hesitation, giving him a smile.

Bones doesn't break eye contact. The Doctor keeps staring. He can feel the Doctor's eyes gazing into his soul, they're penetrating his barrier. Bones' expression is unreadable, like the good Doctor is up to something that he isn't gonna like.

"Bones." He states plainly, the Doctor just gives a scowl.

"Hush up, I only got ten minutes to treat you." Bones responds, quickly dabbing up the new cuts and placing regenerators over his wounds.

"What happened out there?" He questions, wincing as Bones cleans out a cut on his lip.

"I can't talk about it." Bones grumbles, taking a glance at the two Klingon guards.

"What about the crew?" He asks, his gaze is pleading.

"They're fine for now…" Bones replies slowly.

"Spock?" He says, his eyes bright for hope. Bones just shrugs.

"Haven't seen the green-blooded hobgoblin since the explosion." Bones admits, he smirks.

Finally some good news.

"Now hush up." Bones snaps.

The minutes passed quickly as Bones stabbed more hypos into him. The Doctor had him sit up and started to re-tape his ribs. The whole time he gave complaints, but Bones only hushed him.

When the time was up, Bones left without argument and without saying goodbye.

What is going on?

Toq enters the room, a stern look upon the Klingon's face. He stiffens, sitting upright.

"What's going on around here? Bring Bones back in here." He demands, getting to his feet, he can already feel the drugs taking affect.

"Calm down Captain, do not worry about your Doctor, he's in good hands for now. But for you, well, that's out of the question." Toq says, a devilish grin forming on his rotten lips.

"What do you want from me? Obviously you do need something or you would have killed me and my crew by now." He snaps, his bare chest heaving for oxygen.

General Toq glares down at him, yellow eyes focusing, "Very observant of you Kirk. You're right, I do need you and your crew." Toq smirks, giving him a pat.

"What for?" He asks suspiciously, flinching from the Klingon's touch.

"Now why would I tell you that? Do you think I am stupid?" Toq inquires, eyes narrowing sharply.

"It's usually how it goes. The bad guys usually tell the good guys their plans." He replies sarcastically, giving a shrug and the Klingon offers a chuckle that crushes his soul.

"Captain Kirk, I will tell you what to do. And you will do it without question, or I will kill your crew. Do not try me." Toq laughs threateningly, grabbing a tuft of blond hair and yanking his head closer.

"If you do anything to jeopardize my mission, I will not hesitate to kill every single person of your crew, right before your eyes. Got it Kirk?" The General grins, hissing into his ear.

He cringes, his knees shaking, "Got it." He grumbles, avoiding eye contact.

"Good, I'll be back later. I'll let you rest before your big day." Toq announces and strolls casually out the door with a swagger that he just despises.

With a huff he seats himself back onto the medical table and lies down and lies still for several long moments. There's no point and trying to fight the Klingon guards, he would just more than likely jeopardize whatever Spock is trying to accomplish at this moment. Then again, he can't just lie here, helplessly, it's against his nature.

He takes a glance over at the two Klingons. He can take them on right? Can't be that hard. Just two, very, very large Klingons, with biceps bigger than his head and guns that can blow a hole through his stomach. That's all. Yup, that's all.

He calms himself, he has to think about this strategically if he wants to be successful. Both guards have their backs to the door and are facing him. Their hands are firmly grasped onto their guns which are holstered for the moment. The Klingons' are following his every move, watching his chest heave up and down, so the slightest attempt of grabbing a weapon is not an option. He needs to improvise.

He gives an exaggerated yawn, stretching his limbs and arching his back. The Klingons shuffle their feet and continue to glare at him. He rolls over so his back is facing the Klingons. With his teeth, he pinches the inside of his bottom lip. Mentally he counts down to from three to zero, and at zero he bites all the way down, causing blood to well up in his mouth. He resists the urge to spit it out and he turns over, laying flat on his back.

He then gives a convincing cough, blood spluttering from his lips. Purposely he quickens his breathing, hyperventilating. Bones would disapprove. He continues the hoarse cough, blood still leaking from his lips.

The Klingons are unsure now, giving each other awkward glances. He starts to mumble and squirm on the examination table. The two Klingon guards start to discuss what they should do next quietly.

He's gotten himself so worked up, he's not even sure if he can calm himself down. He waits for one of the Klingon's to bend over him to make his move. With practiced swiftness, he elbows the Klingon's face. The Klingon yelps in pain and he grabs the holstered weapon. He kicks the Klingon down and shoots the other Klingon before it can make a move.

Triumphantly he sets his feet down, giving the recovering Klingon a gun butt to the head and wipes the blood leaking from his lips.

With both guards down he makes his way out, peering cautiously out the door. When he's double checked both ways, he leaves the room and turns right. He has to get back to sickbay; maybe the Vulcan will be somewhere nearby.

Heart pounding steadily in his ears, he stealthily creeps around the bends, keeping the gun up at eye level, he's too paranoid to do any less. He keeps checking behind himself, half expecting a Klingon patrol to appear. Guilt is punching into his mind. His crew, his ship, his friends, he's let them down. All of them he has failed.

Grinding his teeth, he lets a wheeze go as he passes through another empty hallway. His gut twists, he's walking into a trap. If Toq has foreseen any type of escape, the Klingon would have guessed that he would head this way. He stops in his tracks, his mind shifting through the past events.

Spock, Spock has been from the start the only being that has been able to avoid capture, and Toq wants him to go straight to the Vulcan so he would reveal Spock's location. His escape has been far too easy. Or, he's being paranoid and he legitimately escaped and now he's just questioning himself. Which can be a possibility.

Now he's stuck between two decisions, go to sickbay to search for Spock, or do something stupid that he's probably going to regret later…

Let's do something stupid.

With a devilish grin, he decides to go to the Auxiliary Room, he knows the system will be more than likely locked down, but hell, it's worth a try. Taking the longest most complicated route, to avoid capture, he makes it within view of the Auxiliary Room.

He sucks in a breath, calming his rattled nerves. If he can get into that room, he can figure out everything, where they are, how many enemies are on board, how many survivors are left. Everything.

A smirk forms on his lips as he gets closer and closer to his destination. The buzzing of communicators can be heard. The language is in distinct Klingon and the guard replies calmly, but slightly more tense then before.

He lets a breathe whistle through his nostrils as he takes a step closer, keeping the weapon steady. He readies the gun, leveling it at the Klingon's head before pulling the trigger. The Klingon hits the ground with a satisfied thud and he only smiles as he continues to push forward.

He rounds the corner and checks for more guards, but it appears that there's only one. Quickly he drags the Klingon into the room to keep the body out of sight and shuts the door behind himself. Releasing a sigh he takes a quick glance about. The controls are all intact; none of them seemed to be damaged despite the ship's crash.

He glides over to the console and activates the system. But unfortunately the system is on lockdown and he needs two high ranking officers to enter in their codes to unlock the system for any sort of operation. His heart drains; he will need Scotty, Bones, Sulu, or Spock to help him reactivate it. But none of those people are with him, obviously.

Grinding his teeth, his brain begins to wrack. Bones, Bones is probably nearby. All he has to do is break Bones out and they can reactivate the system. With the system reactivated he can send out a distress beacon and hopefully Starfleet can send backup…

His heart stops. The meeting. The haul ass back to the nearest Starbase shit. How come Starfleet hasn't come after him? Maybe they have and they can't find them. Either way, the beacon will help; it'll reveal their location and Starfleet will be able to send reinforcements.

He grins, it's the best plan he's had in the past couple of days. Maybe that concussion is finally wearing off.

Delighted with his plans, he turns around to face his next task. But a large shadow falls over him and his spirits drop so low that even Satan would have to dig to reach it. He's quickly disarmed of his weapon and is forced to look up with the grab of his blond hair.

"Captain Kirk," Toq greets, teeth grinning wide, "There you are, we were beginning to worry that we wouldn't find you." The General exclaims, giving his back a good pat.

"I was starting to worry too." He replies sarcastically, crinkling his nose at the Klingon's stench.

"I'm sure you were. I was afraid you were going to be late for your big day. But since I've found you, it's time to fulfill a promise I made to you earlier. I told you to not try me." General Toq sneers devilishly.

Fear reeks over him; he's never been this wound up, so much stress and anxiety. The promise. His crew. He failed them, he has failed them.

Toq points a gun at him and tosses him forward. He stumbles out the doorway and walks slowly in defeat with the gun nuzzled between his shoulder blades. The Klingon General leads him up to the Bridge and sticks him in the Captain's chair. He only sulks, his shoulders sagging and bags forming underneath his eyes.

"Jim!" Bones shouts his name from across the room.

The good Doctor is being held back by two guards, both keeping a sturdy stance against Bones' attempts to reach him. He only looks over at Bones, his expression saddened. Bones will understand soon enough.

"Now, we've got several hours of fun before we must move on with our mission. So with this splendid time, we're going to unleash the Captain's punishment. A punishment that only would be given if he tried to jeopardize my mission." Toq announces over the Enterprise's speaker, speaking clearly so everyone can understand every single word.

"Now Kirk, who shall we start with first?" Toq asks, glancing over at him.

He glares up at the Klingon, usually that stare can make enemies tremble in their boots, but not Toq. The General snorts in disgust and orders his men to bring up some of the crew. He can only sit there anxiously, waiting for the right moment to attack.

"Restrain the Captain, I can tell when he's up to no good." Toq orders his men.

The Klingon guards nod their heads and do as their General demands. They tie his wrists down and pin him down to chain his body to the chair. Through the ordeal he struggles, but he knows deep down its pointless, he's fighting battle that he's already lost. He lost it a long time ago.

Ten crew members enter the Bridge, Uhura, Chekov, Scotty, Nurse Chapel, Sulu, and ensigns: Bronson, Wacker, Newman, Laura, and Johnson. All of them seemed genuinely happy to see him, but when they saw his expression their faces turned stern.

"Let us proceed…" Toq drags, examining each crewman, deciding which to kill first.

His heart pounds, his worst fears coming true. He's lost control of the Bridge. He's lost control of his crew. He's lost control of the Enterprise. He's lost control of the upcoming events, there's nothing he can do. He can only sit there, restrained, helpless, pathetic.

Bones keeps looking over at him, the look of regret, sympathy, even sorrow filling the Doctor's gaze. Bones knows deep down if this scene does play out, he'll never be the same, he will never be James Tiberius Kirk ever again.

"How about this one?" Toq asks, but it really isn't a question.

The Klingon shoves the crewman out of line; the man's heart is pounding, almost bursting. He can see the fear in the crewman's eyes, it makes his heart sink.

"What's your name?" Toq demands, towering over the man.

"Ensign Newman." Newman stutters slightly, not meeting Toq's gaze.

Newman meets his eyes; he can see everything that the man is going through. It haunts him.

"Ahh Newman, how long have you been aboard the Enterprise?" Toq questions, quickly glancing over at the other crewmen to make sure their being properly restrained.

"Five months sir." Newman replies, holding a firm stance.

"Have a family Newman?" Toq asks, giving him an evil grin.

Newman's face drops, "Yeah, I got a wife and sweet little girl." The Ensign says slowly, clearly in deep distress.

He fidgets, he can't handle this and Bones knows it.

"Toq you bastard leave my crew alone! It's me you want damn it!" He snaps, thrashing in his restraints.

Toq glances over at him, "I warned you Captain, I told you not to mess with me, you failed to heed my command." The Klingon explains calmly and turns back to Newman.

"How old is your little girl Ensign?" Toq sneers, grabbing Newman by his shirt and hoisting him into the air.

"Sir?" Newman says panicky, glancing over at him.

He has nothing; he can't do anything for Newman. Toq has all the power.

"Answer the question Ensign, your Captain has no power here." Toq growls, tightening his grip around the man's throat.

"Leave him alone! Toq put him down! Take me instead…" His voice cracks, he's been defeated, utterly destroyed.

Toq grins wildly, "I haven't even killed one of them and you've already broken…this is going to be a long day for you Captain." Toq announces and with one fluid movement snaps Newman's neck and drops the lifeless body to the ground.

He only watches as the life seeps from Newman's eyes, the bright light fading into emptiness.

"You bastard…you bloody Klingon bastard…" He growls, his chest heaving in rage.

How he longs to murder Toq, to parade his severed head on a stick. His fingers curl into fists and his skin tears against the restraints.

"Calm yourself Captain, we're not even half way through." Toq states gleefully, searching for the next victim.

"Dear god man! Stop this at once! If you're going to kill us then kill us damn it! But please, don't do this to him." Bones pleads, Toq only chuckles.

"Seeing him destroyed destroys you doesn't it?" Toq laughs, leaning closer to the Doctor.

"It does. He may be a real pain in my ass but he's the closest thing to a friend I got." Bones replies, giving him a little glance before meeting Toq's deathly glare.

"Then you'll suffer as well." Toq retorts and resumes to the decision making.

"Toq! Just kill me, please, just kill me and leave the rest of my crew alone…those were my actions out there and mine alone." He pleads and Toq chuckles.

"Keptin you can't be serious!" Chekov exclaims and Nurse Chapel gasps.

"Chekov's right Captain!" Scotty agrees, somewhat loudly.

Sulu just nods, gazing over at him.

"You should have thought of the consequences before you acted Captain. You have doomed them all." Toq replies harshly.

"You're next!" Toq sneers, throwing the next Ensign onto the floor.

"Get up!" The General snaps, and the Ensign gathers her feet.

"Name." Toq demands as the woman straightens out the red uniform.

"Ensign Laura sir." The Ensign replies, glaring directly into the Klingon's eyes.

"Laura, Miss Laura," Toq says, giving a mocking bow, "How long have you known Kirk?" Toq asks, giving him a glance.

"Uhh, several years I believe, we went to the academy at the same time." Laura replies calmly.

He only shudders; he can't believe what's happening before his eyes. Newman's death, it's his fault, and now, Ensign Laura is about to meet hers.

"Miss… Laura, did you trust Captain Kirk with your life?" Toq questions and Bones can see what the Klingon's doing.

Toq's tearing him apart, mentally.

"Yes, of course, I think I say this for all the men and women aboard this ship that we trust him with our lives." Laura says firmly, holding her ground.

"What about Newman, do you think he thought the same thing as I literally snapped the life out of him?" Toq inquires, leaning over her.

"I do sir." The Ensign responds, still too stubborn to give in.

"Well how about now?" Toq growls, squeezing her throat, "See you're Captain is powerless, there's nothing he can do here. He has failed you all." The Klingon sneers and proceeds to throw her against the wall.

The sound her head makes when it hits the floor is disheartening. Silence falls over the Bridge for a few brief moments.

"Please, stop this. General listen to me!" Bones snaps and Toq stalks over to him, "Kirk can't handle this much, please, just give him a break. Fifteen minutes, please it's all I ask, sir." Bones whispers, seeing the blank stare that he's giving while sitting in the Captain's chair.

"Now why would I do that Doctor?" Toq hisses, snatching Bones' shirt tightly.

"You still need him right?" Bones inquires and Toq nods his head, "Then please, let me speak with him, or mentally he'll shut done and he'll be as useless as a furless Tribble." Bones explains desperately.

Toq glares over at him then back to Bones. The Klingon's yellow eyes narrow in suspicion, but sees no harm.

"Alright, you have ten minutes. Guards take Captain Kirk and his Doctor back to medical room," Toq orders then turns to face a couple of more guards, "And you, take things dead bodies and dump them with the others." The Klingon continues.

But the voices are fading slightly as he simply focuses on floor. His blank stare frightens Bones, but the Doctor is determined to make everything better.

"C'mon Kirk, let's get you out of here." Bones whispers softly to him, untying his wrists and waiting for the Klingons to unchain the rest.

The other crewmen only watch in despair as Bones hefts him up onto his feet and half carries, half walks him off the Bridge. The Klingon guards lead them away back to the same medical room, which was just a holding cell with a table put in it with some basic supplies.

Bones leads him inside slowly and seats him on the prisoner bench.

"Please, can you leave us?" Bones asks, looking over at the two guards, "C'mon, seriously, where are we gonna go? Okay, thank you, thank you." Bones says as the two guards shrug and walk out the door, shutting it behind themselves.

Bones gives a sigh, a long, stressful sigh. But hell, at least the Doctor's still breathing.

"Jim, Jim look at me kid." Bones says, grabbing his face and turning it so they can look each other in the eyes.

His blue eyes are full of pain, sorrow, regrets, demons. His demons killed those Ensigns, not Toq. It's all his fault. His jaw trembles and he tries to hide the unmanly tears.

"Hey, hey kid it's alright." Bones soothes, sitting beside him.

"They're dead because of me Bones…they're dead…" His voice cracks and so does his heart.

"Jim, there was nothing you could have done about it. If it's anyone's fault, it's all of ours, not just yours." Bones reassures him.

He sniffles, letting some tears slide by. He knows Bones it trying to reconcile him, but it's not working. It'll probably never work.

"Jim, you're gonna have to let go of this. Or none of us is gonna make it out alive, you understand me?" Bones says, leaning down to look at his face.

He doesn't meet Bones' gaze, he can't.

"Do you understand damn it?" Bones snaps, grabbing his shoulders and jostling him.

He peers up at Bones, tears steadily flowing from his crystal blue eyes. They look so innocent, so young, so lively. How can anyone hurt this boy?

He nods his head and Bones smiles.

"That's a good boy Jimmy. It's alright now, it's gonna be alright Kirk." Bones comforts him, seeing the sobs break through.

He shies away from Bones' touch, but the Doctor pulls him into a hug.

Within the Doctor's embrace, he can feel his fears subside, his aches, his pains, his demons, they seem to disappear with Bones holding him. He gives in, his muscles releasing the built up tension and stress. If he was going to get past his demons, he's going to need Bones with him. Without Bones, he would be lost forever. He needs Bones to show him the way through, and he knows the good Doctor will always be there.

 **Author's Note: Okay so sorry for taking a decade on this latest chapter! Oops…I got out of school on the 27** **th** **then I went to California to visit my hometown then I came back the 1** **st** **and I rushed through the chapter a little bit to get things rolling. Lol sorry. Thanks for sticking with me, yall have been amazing and very patient with me! I'd like to thank yall who have favorited, followed, or reviewed this story, yall are breaking all my records! This chapter's a bit crazy and I probs should've gone into more depth of the emotions, but hopefully this satisfies yall needs for now. So thanks for putting up with me and my tardiness and stick around for the rest. Plus I've already got the next story going, it hasn't been posted yet but I'll let yall know once I get it up and running. So thanks yall for being the best, I couldn't ask for anything more. Yall are amazing. Live Long and Prosper. Tribbles are Trouble. Oh is Toq lame or cool? Or mediocre? Idek…**


	10. No Easy Way Out

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 10: 'No Easy Way Out' _Robert Tepper_**

The two of them remain in silence, their thoughts consuming them. His breath is hot up against the Doctor's neck, but Bones doesn't mind. Bones' arms are actually getting a bit sore from holding him so close, but they don't want to let go. He's afraid and Bones knows that.

"Jim, we gotta do what we gotta do. You get that right?" Bones murmurs softly, stroking his hair gently in a mannerly fashion.

"Yeah, I do." He moans, shutting his blue eyes.

"Even if it means we can't save everyone?" Bones pries, glancing down at the head full of golden hair.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Somethin' Spock would say." He mumbles and Bones chuckles lightly.

"Indeed he would Jim…I wonder where the green-blooded bastard is at now." Bones thinks aloud, trailing off.

"I dunno." He groans, his pants becoming slightly heavy.

"Promise me something kid." Bones says, peeling away from him.

He looks into Bones' eyes, those loving, compassionate brown eyes.

"What Bones?" He asks hoarsely, wiping his nose with his wrist.

"When it comes down to it, don't take any shortcuts. Do it right, understand me kid?" Bones questions, the brown eyes narrowing down into his blue.

"I don't think I do." He replies, his head cocking to the side in confusion.

Bones sighs, "Look, just keep the ship in mind Jim. The Enterprise, she's your top priority, got it?" The Doctor says.

He's confused now, there's something that the Doctor's not telling him, "Of course Bones, the Enterprise always comes first…Bones is there something you're not telling me?" He asks, searching for any sign, but he gets none.

"I've told you everything you need to know." Bones responds calmly.

Before he can question his friend further the door swings open and the Klingon guards step inside. The guards point their weapons at them and they get the implication. He and Bones rise to their feet and walk out together in silence. Bones' gaze seems fairly distant and somehow the Doctor's mood seems to have darkened.

He scratches at his scabs and continues forward, his head hanging. Past events keep repeating through his mind. He doesn't know what to do, and he has no idea what Bones is talking about. What shall he do? What can he do, that is.

He seems to be stuck without any options. He can only proceed forward into the unknown, like he has been doing for years. But this unknown, unlike the others, is occurring aboard his own ship, and taking the lives of his crew. Something that makes his mind buzz with anxiety.

Giving a groaned sigh, he stalks forward, letting himself be led at gunpoint to the Bridge. They climb the stairs slowly, using the stairs since the elevator is clearly broken. His steps are heavy, but nonetheless efficient.

Bones only casts him one glance, but the Doctor remains silent. Bones is thinking, almost seems to be plotting something mischievously.

He licks his lips, they're barely there, they've been cut, broken, cracked, and even bitten into. His frame is thin; he hasn't eaten in the past, who knows, three days? Somewhere around there. And let's not even get into how dehydrated he is.

Once he reaches the top, he leans over, hands on knees panting for breath. The guard behind him kicks him forward and he stumbles into Bones. The Doctor catches him and only gives a grunt as he's set back onto his feet. He nods his thanks to his friend and the two walk onto the Bridge, meeting the stares from the crewmen and the Klingons.

He swallows back some saliva in anticipation for what's about to come next. He can feel it in his bones, the aches and sores, the upcoming events.

"Ahh, there you are, Captain Kirk." Toq greets him loudly from across the Bridge.

The Klingon General stands there, holding the power of the Enterprise within grasp. Toq's armor jingles slightly; the Klingon's steps are heavy, but only because of the weight of the armor. General Toq stares at him, but he doesn't meet Toq's gaze, no he stares past him, looking at the giant glass window which usually reveals the vast stars of space. But it is only black, no stars, no planets, just blackness.

"Shall we continue forth with your punishment?" Toq asks rhetorically, and nods at the guards to chain him back to the chair.

With rough hands he's shoved down into the Captain's chair and chained back down. He groans as they tighten it, restricting the airflow. He gives a sigh once the Klingons step away and he once again has to face his fears.

"Now, let us continue, since the Doctor has worked his good magic, it's my turn to do a little magic." Toq announces boldly, arms waving about.

He glances over at Bones. What magic?

Toq glides over to the Captain's chair and presses the button to activate the ship's speakers, which somehow aren't damaged from the crash.

"Please, gentlemen downstairs, activate the Enterprise's Warp drive." Toq says proudly, waiting for the ship to lighten up.

But nothing happens, the ship remains darkened. Toq frowns, it's supposed to work.

"Lights please." Toq growls sarcastically, fingers starting to drum against the armrest.

"Guess your magic hands aren't very magical." He chirps, looking up at Toq, the General just snorts.

"Let me show you magical hands." Toq sneers and grips his throat, tightening the hold with each passing second.

He fights against the restraints but he can't do anything to make Toq release the death threatening grip.

"Toq leave him be you Klingon bastard!" Bones shouts from across the Bridge, but Toq is unphased.

"You no good old bloody Klingon scum! Leave our Captain be!" Scotty spits, fighting against the restraints.

Toq just laughs, squeezing the life out of him. His lips turn blue, his skin pale, and his eyes red.

"Release our Captain now General Toq, or face the consequences of your actions." A calm voice states over the ship's speakers.

Toq freezes, letting go of his throat. He gasps for breath, sucking in the much needed oxygen. He looks over at Bones, the Doctor was mouthing something.

 _"You Vulcan bastard."_ Bones breathes, looking up at the ceiling almost imagining the Vulcan appearing.

He smiles, guess Spock was doing something helpful after all.

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen. And if I may, to whom am I speaking with?" Toq asks eloquently, the General's vocabulary is quite graceful for that of a Klingon.

"Names are not relative to your situation General, the only thing you should be worrying about is the proceedings of this conversation." Spock replies calmly, keeping the stern demeanor.

"Listen, scumbag, the only thing happening after this conversation is the death of your crew." Toq replies, "And your Captain," The Klingon continues, stroking his cheek gently despite the rough hands.

"But General, that is illogical; you will never gain command of the Du'Ralle without James T. Kirk." The Vulcan states.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Toq defends pathetically.

It's too easy for Spock.

"General, the Du'Ralle is one of the Klingon's new flagships, and bringing Captain Kirk back alive can gain you one of those ships." Spock continues and Toq gives a low-throated growl.

"And I will bring him back alive! There's nothing you can do to stop me." Toq shouts, fists clenched in rage.

"Seeing that I have permanently disconnected your ship from the Enterprise, there is no way to leave. I have disabled all of the escape shuttles, and even if you did try to enable one, you will be too late. For I have already established an emergency beacon. General Toq, there is nowhere you can go." Spock explains triumphantly over the Enterprise's speakers for all to hear.

"No, no. You're wrong, I have fixed the ship's Warp drive. I still have the Enterprise." Toq says, not willing to be defeated.

"Wrong again General, as you had previously witnessed, this ship is going nowhere. Go ahead, try the lights again." Spock dares the Klingon.

Bones chuckles, "You cocky son of a bitch."

Toq hisses, fury boiling over.

"Reveal yourself coward! And face me, unless you are too afraid." Toq scorns with rage.

"And why would I do that General? I would lose the advantage of the situation." Spock replies, he can just imagine the Vulcan's eyebrow raised in curiosity of the statement.

"You haven't gained anything. I have the crew, I have your ship. I have your Captain. I am in control of the situation." Toq declares, looking up at the ceiling.

"And that is where you are wrong General. I have the control." Spock responds coldly.

He looks over at Bones, heart pounding. Bones meets his eyes, the look of pity in those brown eyes. Why? He watches his friend closely; Bones is planning something, calculating the risk. He keeps his eyes fixated on the Doctor, and what seemed like minutes happened in a split second.

All equipment and outside electrical devices went out. An EMP swept through the whole ship. Everyone falls silent. Suddenly phasers go off and the sounds of punches being thrown can be heard across the Bridge.

He begins to struggle against the restraints. He has to find Bones; he has to find Bones now. Damn it.

The restraints begin to loosen and as soon as he can, he throws off the chains and leaps to his feet, crashing into a hard body. The person grabs him and raises him into the air. Its Toq damn it…of all people to run into…just his luck.

Toq heaves him up and tosses him like a ragdoll across the room. He lands with a thud and he sits up, his head spinning. He spits, who knows what, out and gathers to his feet, swaying with the loss of balance. Another blow lands on him, sending him back onto the ground. He gags on the blood pooling in his mouth as he tries to get to his feet. But again he's knocked down.

"Jim! Jim where are you!" Bones' voice calls out from across the room.

He looks for the source, but the lights are still out.

"Bones-oww!" He yelps as he's kicked.

Flowing with adrenaline, he jumps to his feet and raises his fists. But, all he can see is blackness. The fighting is dying down and the phasers aren't going off anymore. He backs away, running into a pair of hands.

"Keptin is zhat you?" Chekov exclaims, keeping him balanced on his wobbly knees.

"I think so." He replies and steadies himself.

The room becomes unnaturally still and people begin to wonder if they're standing beside a friend or foe. Suddenly a green light appears in the middle of the room, its Bones. The Doctor is lighting something.

Everyone in the room is frozen, standing completely still.

The green light gets brighter and brighter and Bones gathers to his feet quickly.

"Bomb!" The Doctor shouts and within that split second, two things happened.

One: all crew members dropped to their stomachs and covered their heads. And two: the explosion went off, taking all the Klingons out and one unlucky Doctor.

The explosion made a great popping sound which shattered everyone's eardrums that were close enough and if they were lucky, their ears were only ringing. The room instantly became smoky and hot and most of the equipment shattered from the initial blast.

Fatigued, weary, bloody, and exhausted mentally and physically, more than anyone else in the entire ship, He is the first one to his feet. Heart pounding he runs, jumping over large chunks of shrapnel and over littered either dead or moaning bodies of Klingons and crewmen.

Bones, god damn it, Bones.

He nears his friend and his run slows slightly, a shaky hand covering his lips. The Doctor is sprawled out across the floor, bloody and bruised.

"Bones…? Bones!" His voice chokes up as he collapses at the good Doctor's side.

"Oh my god, Bones!" He squeals out, trembling, gripping Bones' hand with gentle care.

"Please don't die, please don't leave me. You're my only friend Bones. Please." He stammers, bringing Bones onto his lap, cradling the Doctor's head in his arms.

Behind him, the crewmen are gathering to their feet, making sure no one else is seriously injured. Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov approach him slowly from behind. Scotty crouches down and places a hand on him, while Sulu comforts the crying Uhura. And Chekov stands beside him, eyes watery with unshed tears.

"Captain…" Scotty breathes, seeing the defeated look on his face.

"Captain, General Toq, he's not here sir. He must've escaped or somethin'." Scotty informs him slowly, looking into his blue eyes.

He doesn't respond, he cradles Bones in his arms and squeezes his eyes shut. He wants time to rewind itself, so he can change these events.

Why Bones, why?

"J-Jim?" Bones whispers hoarsely, grabbing Jim by his torn black shirt.

Tears falling, he meets his friend gaze, lips quivering, "Yeah Bones?" He breathes.

"Wh-what the hell, are-are you doin' here k-kid?" Bones scowls and the Doctor's face screws over in pain.

"I'm not leaving you Bones. Never again." He cries, brushing some blood away from Bones' face.

"James, listen to-to me James." Bones says his real name; it gets his complete undivided attention for the first time in history.

"Yes Leonard?" His voice shakes.

"Re-remember what I-I said earlier?" Bones questions.

He nods his head; the ship is his top priority, "The Enterprise." He whispers softly and Bones smiles.

"Yes, the Enterprise James." Bones grins, stroking the side of his face, "Protect her James. Go get him."

Crying he shakes his head, "No, I'm not leaving you." He refuses, sniffling.

"Damn it Jim! G-go." Bones growls, "D-don't do it for m-me, don't d-do it f-for your-yourself. Do it, for the Enterprise." Bones tells him and he nods slowly.

Bones is right, but then again, when is the Doctor not?

"Alright, for the Enterprise." He breathes, silent rebelliously tears still falling down his stained cheeks.

"Go get the bastard." Bones whispers, giving him an encouraging smile.

"It's alright lad. I got em'." Scotty tells him as he slowly brings Bones into Scotty's lap.

"Go get the bloody Klingon; we'll take good care of the Doctor." Scotty reassures him, giving him a gentle smile.

He nods his head, knowing that Scotty is perfectly capable of taking care of his best friend. Turning, he walks towards the door and pauses the last second, looking over at Bones.

"Love you Bones." He calls out, looking into his best friend's brown eyes.

"Love you too Jim. Now get your ass out there." Bones grumbles, a supportive grin on the Doctor's face.

"Here, take zhis Keptin." Chekov says, dashing to his side, handing him a phaser.

"Thanks." He replies, giving the kid a grateful nod.

Chekov just nods back in response. With a smile he heads out the doorway, giving Bones one more glance before sprinting down the hallway.

His heart races, his mind buzzes. The image of Bones dying in his lap is the only thing keeping him going, it keeps him determined.

He persists on, not really sure where he's going or where he might end up. But it doesn't matter, he has to find General Toq if he wants any sort of redemption.

Something nags in his mind though. Something Bones had said during their time together alone after the two Ensigns deaths.

 _"When it comes down to it, don't take any shortcuts. Do it right, understand me kid?"_

Somehow the Doctor knew this was going to happen. Bones has been planning this. His body throbs.

It makes sense; he understands why Bones told him this. Bones knew that explosion was going to go off. Bones knew that he'll be caught in between the Doctor's life and the Enterprise's. Bones knew he would struggle with this, that he will after to figure out what's worth fighting for. Bones knew that he would face his fears, his demons. Bones knew that he'll have to fight for what's right. Bones knew that there was no shortcut home, no easy way out for him.

 **Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but I feel like it holds a deeper, more emotional meaning than the other chapters. And no, I'm not making any slash, I guess you can see some Bromance going on, but honestly, let's admit it; Bones and Jim are just really tight friends. I'd like to thank yall for sticking to the story thus far, it means a lot to me. This story has broken just about every single record of my other stories and I haven't even finished yet! I'm still debating if I should, after I finish this one, make a sequel to it, but I guess it depends on how I end the story. So thanks yall for being here to read through my story and stayed tuned for the next chapter. Hopefully I won't take too long making it. Thanks again yall for being the best group of fans I've ever had and stick around, and a new story is coming out soon, which is all about Bones and Jim, so keep your ears open for that, well, eyes peeled I should say. Live Long and Prosper, and go ahead and give me any ideas for the next chapter because I'm a clueless Tribble.**


	11. Rock Star

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 11: 'Rock Star' _Jason Nevins Remix/N.E.R.D._**

He rounds the bend, phaser raised, eyes trained forward. He has no sense of direction, just going with his instincts. He has nothing to go off of and he has no backup. This might be a one way trip for him.

His heart drums steadily within his chest, his eyes are hazy from the lack of sleep and his brain tracks behind slowly.

"Captain!" A voice calls out and he twirls around, firing his weapon right by the person's head.

"Shooting me would be highly illogical Captain. The proficiency of this ship would drop-" Spock starts but he cuts him off, rushing to his First Officer's side.

"Spock! Thank god Spock." He gasps, lowering his phaser and wrapping the stoic Vulcan into a hug.

Spock just raises an eyebrow at him, "This action is not logical and is very uncomfortable if I may add."

"Shut up you pointy-eared bastard." He grumbles, still hugging his Vulcan friend.

"Captain, I believe we are on a mission. Should we not carry it out?" Spock inquires and he finally peels away from the Vulcan.

"Yeah, yes, you're right, we do." He stutters slightly and composes himself, straightening his ragged black shirt and his boxers.

"I see you have failed to acquire any pants." Spock states and he swears the Vulcan just checked him out.

"I have the tendency to do that." He smirks and Spock does the usual expression.

"Captain, I believe General Toq went this way." Spock informs him, changing the subject quickly.

He nods his head, "Alright, let's go."

Spock then leads the way with him following slowly behind, his steps slightly heavier than the shifty Vulcan's. He feels waves of comfort with the Vulcan with him, but it doesn't completely get his mind off of his dying friend. Bones, dear god, please let the Doctor be alive when he comes back.

Their paces are in sync, their breaths are silent, and their sense is keen.

The Vulcan raises a fist and he stops, completely frozen in his tracks. Spock ventures forward, peaking around the corner. He remains there until his First Officer beckons him forward but with much caution.

His breathing stills and his eyes narrow, Spock is tense, hands firmly gripping the phaser.

"The General is near." Spock whispers over to him.

He gives the Vulcan a glance and wonders how Spock knows that, but then decides not to bother. But his question is answered when he sees the Klingon blood on the floor. Spock just raises an eyebrow at him and continues forward carefully.

Giving a nervous swallow, he keeps close to Spock, nearly bumping into the Vulcan several times. He's pretty sure Spock can sense his anxiety because the Vulcan doesn't say anything about it.

They continue to follow the trail of blood until it just comes to a halt. Spock looks around for any other signs, but the trail just ends here, in the middle of the hallway. He looks at Spock, offering a confused shrug. The Vulcan only glances at him before continuing their trek forward.

Spock leads him towards the Engine room and along the way they catch a few blood smears. Hopefully the General is nearby because he's certainly ready to kick some Klingon ass. His fingers are getting edgy and his limbs fidget with anticipation.

He's eager, he's too damn eager and he knows it. But he doesn't care if it means avenging his friend, then he'll do anything.

"Captain." Spock calls him, pausing slightly.

Exhaling through his nostrils, he comes closer to Spock following his gaze, "Oh my god." He breathes, blinking several times to check his vision.

Spock just nods, confirming his thoughts. Before them is the wounded General Toq, clearly an easy target. Too easy.

"I'm gonna kill the bastard." He growls and steps forward, but Spock shoves an arm out in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

"The hell Spock?" He grumbles and the Vulcan clasps a hand over his mouth.

"Captain, if you watch closely, you'll see three other Klingon guards by the General." Spock whispers over to him, keeping a low standard crouch to avoid detection.

He looks closer, pushing Spock's hand away, squinting his eyes. Spock's right, there's definitely other Klingons, but it doesn't change anything, he's still going to kill Toq whether the Vulcan agrees with it or not.

For Bones, always for Bones.

"Alright, fine I guess we take on four Klingons instead of one, so what?" He grunts and Spock's intense gaze meets his blue eyes.

"Captain the odds of us succeeding are-" Spock states but he's had enough of Mr. Logical.

"Damn it Spock! Screw logic! Logic hasn't gotten me anywhere in the past couple of days, nor will it here. I am human Spock, I am damn human and we humans have this thing called a gut and that gut tells us what to do. And right now Spock, I am having one hell of a gut feeling, it might not seem 'logical'-hell it doesn't even make any sense! But you know what? I'm gonna follow it because it's the right thing to do…it's gotten me out of many situations like this before and I believe it's gonna get me out of this one too. Now please Spock, god, for my sake and for Bones', hurry up and decide, either help me kill those Klingon bastards over there or stay here. Either way, I'm doing this for Bones, you're welcome to do so as well." He rants, releasing a heavy breath and pushing past the stunned Vulcan.

He takes several steps away from Spock but his eyes begin to water, "Damn it." He hisses to himself, wiping his tears away with his wrist.

"Jim, you misunderstood me. I never stated that I would not help you, I was merely going to state the odds of us succeeding, and I believe it is most wise and logical that we work together, the probability of success is higher that way." Spock declares, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He looks back at Spock, a smile forming on his beaten lips, "Thank you Mr. Spock."

He nods and Spock nods back. Tranquility washes over his demeanor and he releases a shaky breath, Spock's hand still gripping his shoulder.

"Alright, so what's the plan Spock?" He asks, keeping his gaze fixated on the General.

Spock seems conflicted for a split second, the Vulcan's face expressing a slight emotion, but it disappears quickly. He raises an eyebrow at his Vulcan friend, in all seriousness.

"Uhh Mr. Spock?" He pries, waving a hand in the Vulcan's face.

Spock grips his hand, stopping it in midair, "I am simply formulating a plan that will be most successful." The Vulcan explains, head titling.

He just nods his head in response and glares back out towards Toq, hands grazing anxiously over the trigger.

"Spock, we can just shoot them…?" He points out but Spock seems unconvinced.

"General Toq wears armor, it appears to be unaffected by phaser blasts." Spock informs him.

He chews on his lower lip in thought, "Well how about the guards?"

"No, they can be killed easily." Spock replies, still forming a plan.

He starts to grind his teeth, becoming more and more restless with each passing second.

"Well what do you suggest?" He questions and Spock's eyes dig into his mind.

He pauses, blinking several times but Spock doesn't move his gaze, "I believe we must take immediate action. I suggest since you are most certainly the best shot-" Spock says, "Oh my god you made a compliment," He gasps and Spock continues, not even acknowledging his comment, "-it would be most wise for you to take down the Klingon guards while I go in pursuit of General Toq. There's an eighty-seven percent chance that he will run away from the fight."

"No, Spock, I will take General Toq-" He informs the Vulcan, "But Captain, physically it is impossible. However I'm in perfect physical and mental condition to bring the General down in the most efficient way." Spock tells him with much concern, "I will handle the General. Spock it's just something I have to do, for Bones." He continues, looking into Spock's dark eyes, for they hold all the information in the world.

"I understand." Spock replies, no emotion across the Vulcan's brow.

"Do you Spock? Do you really?" He asks, but then feels slightly guilty of the harshness of his voice.

"Yes Jim I do. If it was you placed in harm's way of the bomb and I was the one to avenge you, I would do the same." Spock responds quite simply.

"Spock, did you just admit that you have feelings for me?" He demands, head titled to the side.

"No Captain, I was merely stating a fact." Spock tells him, eye brow raised.

He snorts and shakes his head, "If that was your version of 'I love you' you might need to seek some psychiatric help."

"Captain, if you insist that by my doing so of avenging you would mean 'I love you', then you are implying that you are avenging the Doctor because you love him. And Captain if that was to be correct, that would mean you and the Doctor are-" Spock says and he swears the Vulcan is enjoying it.

"No Spock, we're not gay! What the hell Spock? No, Bones and I are really close okay? Now please can we get back to the matter at hand?" He growls and he can see Spock's lips almost twitch into a grin.

"Captain you are the one who brought up the subject in the first place. And you trying to change the topic entails that you have become uncomfortable and indicating that my statement is true." Spock insists and he rolls his eyes.

Damn the Vulcan can't let things go, "For the last time Spock, we're not gay!" He exclaims a little too loudly and Spock puts a hand on his lips and peeks around the corner.

"You must be more careful of the volume of your voice; you may give away our position." Spock informs him seriously, the Vulcan's face very stern.

"Let's just get this over with." He mutters and Spock nods.

"Very well, I will take on the Klingon guards and you will go after the General." Spock declares and he nods his head in agreement.

"Alright, let's do this." He whispers and starts to step forward but Spock drags him back.

"Wait, Jim." Spock says softly and he turns to stare at his friend.

"Yes Mr. Spock?" He asks in the blackness of the ship.

"Be careful." Spock replies, looking into his eyes again.

"Will do." He responds and turns back towards the Klingons, Spock on his heels.

He takes a gulp of air, squeezing his eyes shut, fingers edging around the trigger. Calmness washes over him, a calm that only comes to him in dire situations. The weight of the world is on him. The lives of his crew, Bones' life, the Enterprise, it all hangs in the balance and he has to tip the balance in his favor. He has to kill General Toq and rid the Klingons of his ship, then he somehow, with the help of the magical hands of Scotty, has to bring the Enterprise back to life, soaring free in the emptiness of space.

Spock notices his despair and places a hand on his shoulder. He glances back, giving the Vulcan a nod before stepping forward, revealing their location. The Klingons seem fairly surprised as he and Spock bound the corner, weapons firing into the black.

General Toq runs as soon as he makes eye contact. Spock is left to deal with the guards as he takes off sprinting in the direction of the General, willing to end all of his demons. Spock lets him go, keeping the task firmly at the three guards.

He sprints down the halls, his legs shaking with each step. All the cuts, bruises, fractures, and torn muscles seeming to fade into one throbbing pain along with his desire of revenge. He longs for it; it's the only thing that will quench his unending thirst. He must do this, for Bones and for the Enterprise.

The air seems to thicken, his lungs begin to wheeze. He slows down, bending over and resting his hands on his knees. He coughs hoarsely, blood drooling from his lips.

"You don't look to good Captain." Toq's voice echoes in the darkness.

He bolts upright, phaser raised, ready for action, "Because you look much better?" He remarks, a smirk on his lips.

"I will once your body is cold and lifeless." The General replies sending chills down his spine.

"Well sorry, that's not going to happen." He grins, stalking gradually further down the hall, nearing the source.

"Oh don't waste your time Kirk; we both know who's going to come out on top." The Klingons chuckles heartily, making his gut twist into a knot, or it's the fact that he hasn't eaten in days, he's not quite sure.

"I'm glad you admit your defeat, now please step out with your hands behind your back while I bring you your official surrender papers." He chirps and the General laughs more.

"Oh, so humorous of you Kirk, now please, lay down your phaser Captain and I shall spare the lives of you crew." The General hisses and his heart begins to beat faster.

"You have no power General. We have control of the Bridge, you have no escape, there's nowhere to hide." He growls, panic boiling in his chest.

Toq snorts in disgust, "Please Captain, your Vulcan friend is clever, but not that clever. But I will admit, the bomb was pretty clever, it served as the perfect distraction to destroy my ship and free most of the crew, but Mr. Spock forgot about one thing."

"Yeah and what's that?" He sneers, eyes narrowing as he takes his next step, breaths heaving.

"You." Toq roars and swings a fist at his head.

He gets clobbered, stumbling to the ground, vision spinning. He cries out in pain, phaser sliding out of reach. Toq laughs, causing fear to pit in his stomach. It's over, all of it. The General bends over, grabbing him by his hair.

With fury, he kicks out, catching the Klingon in the chin. Toq stumbles back, blood oozing. He grins and jumps to his feet, fists raised, but he's outmatched, greatly outmatched. General Toq smiles back and takes a step towards him. He moves away, pressing his back against the white wall.

His heart beats faster and faster, his head almost becoming dizzy with the adrenaline. The General takes another step and he pushes off of the wall, doing a barrel roll into Toq's legs, knocking the General down onto the ground. He quickly springs back up, landing neatly on his feet and as Toq gets up, he does a round house kick, causing the Klingon to crumble to the ground.

He stands over the General with a satisfied grin, well, before Toq snatches his ankles and yanks his feet out from under him. He falls to the ground with a thud, nearly knocking the wind out of him. Toq gets up first, gripping him by his throat and raising him from the ground.

He bunches his legs together and kicks into the General's chest, causing the Klingon to drop him and stumble back into the wall. Taking advantage of the moment, he dashes forward, dodging Toq's weak blow and clasping both hands together to pound into the General's back with one hearty punch.

Toq growls in frustration, stumbling away from him and turning around. He just smiles back, flexing his fingers into a stretch. He inhales a breath, mentally preparing himself. The General comes at him again, full on rage gleaming in the Klingon's eyes.

With the last of his strength, he leaps into the air, pushing his left leg off of the wall and landing squarely onto Toq's head, causing both of them to crash into a ball of flying fists and thrashing legs.

General Toq manages to pin him down, gripping each of his wrists tightly till his skin tears and blood seeps. He spits into the Klingon's face and in response he earns a head-butt to the nose. He yelps in pain, his nose now swollen and cracked. Toq chuckles and adjusts, making sure he can't move any of his limbs.

"Bastard." He pants, blood flowing steadily from his nostrils.

"Oh Captain, how pathetic." Toq declares, nails digging into his skin.

He snorts, still struggling underneath the General's weight, "It's over Toq! You have nothing, you've lost idiot!"

"If I'm going down then you're coming down with me." Toq mocks, a smile forming on the General's lips.

His chest pants and he meets Toq's unfaltering gaze. He grins and laughs, causing the Klingon's face to screw over in confusion.

"What are you laughing about? There is nothing funny about this! Kirk I am going to kill you, you do realize this?" Toq yells angrily which only causes him to snicker more, blood spluttering from his lips.

"Oh Toq you're quite the entertainer. You've done all of this, for what? Only to fail. The only thing you're going to achieve at the end of the day is your life falling apart before your eyes." He chuckles, teeth grinning widely.

The General looks at him, completely lost, "You fool, your life is ending now and yet you laugh and joke?"

"If there's one thing I've learned through this ordeal, is not to take your friends for granted, which I believe is something you need to work on." He smirks, giving a nod towards Spock who's standing behind the General, Klingon blood all over the Vulcan's clothes.

The General chuckles, taking a side glance towards Spock then back down at him, the grin fading, "Well, this has been nice…" He chirps, another fit of laughs escaping his lips.

 **Author's Note: Okay I am so sorry for taking a flipping decade to post! It's just I've had workouts and some open field stuff for soccer, plus I guess I like to keep myself pretty busy. I hope all yall summers are coming out great as well! This chapter has a bit of bicker between Spock and Kirk for yall peoples who like them paired, and yes, Kirk says he's not gay but Spock just insists they are, which references of course the big fan base who do ship Kirk and McCoy. Also I brought in some of the Shatner moves, which I did look up lol because I love the Original Series! So I hope yall have loved the story this far and I plan to continue it until it comes to a neat tidy end which I hope all yall stick around for. I'd like to thank all of yall for everything, all the likes, favs, follows, and reviews, they mean the world to me. So thanks everyone and stay tuned for the next chapter and look for my new mini series "Waking Up is a Pain" which is another Bones and Jim pairing. Live Long and Prosper because someone's gotta.**


	12. Lost Boys

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 12: 'Lost Boys'** _ **Ruth B**_

The weight eases as the General gets up, but keeps a heavy foot on his chest. He wheezes, muttering his complaints. All he can do is watch Spock, who appears to have lost a phaser as well.

"General, please cooperate or face the consequences of your choice." Spock states, edging closer.

"Stay where you are Vulcan, or I will end the Captain's life." Toq growls, pressing down onto his chest.

He gasps, trying to push the foot from his chest, but he's failing, miserably. He keeps struggling, but his vision starts to fade as his lungs lack the needed oxygen.

"Damn this bitch is heavy." He breathes, his voice only a hoarse croak.

Spock only gives him a side glance, but keeps the focus on General Toq, "Release my Captain now General." Spock threatens, hands clenching into fists.

"Alright, alright. You win Mister Spock." The General says, hands raised in defeat, "Here just let me help him up." Toq continues and slowly bends over to grab him by the shoulders, bringing him upright.

He looks into Spock's eyes, feeling Toq's fingers dig into the skin of his biceps. Within that instant, he's picked up and thrown directly at Spock like a ragdoll. He crashes into the Vulcan with an 'oof' and a disgusted grunt from Spock. The pair stumble to their feet, slightly dazed.

The General cackles and throws another punch, landing one squarely onto Spock's face. The Vulcan falls backwards onto the ground. He looks at Spock with a smirk and dodges Toq's next punch easily by ducking and stepping off to the side. Toq gives an infuriated growl and lunges forward, crashing straight into his chest.

He topples backwards, the General on top of him. Luckily for him, Spock is already back up. The Vulcan uses his strength to kick Toq off of him and across the room.

"We must hurry Jim." Spock tells him, picking him up from the floor and brushing him off before turning back towards the General.

He grins, giving his Vulcan friend a confident smile and stepping closer to the Klingon. Unfortunately, his confidence is too high, which his eagerness ends with him back on the ground and Spock desperately trying to keep a knife away.

His vision blurs as he staggers to his feet, swaying as his head spins in circles. Spock and Toq are against the wall, Spock fending off a large knife. Heart pounding he lurches forward, clamping onto the General's back. Toq instantly stops the attack on Spock and focuses on him.

Toq reaches for him, trying desperately to get him off, but he only grips tighter, placing the General into a chokehold. The Klingon thrashes back, smashing him into the wall, but he doesn't release his grip. And now Spock has joined back in, throwing several punches to Toq's face and gut.

The Klingon General then tumbles over, throwing him off and onto the floor. He quickly scrambles to his feet, climbing on top of Toq's chest and pounding into his face with fists clenched in uncontrollable fury. Spock just takes a step back, watching him beat the living shit out of Toq until the Klingon's face is nothing but a bloody pulp.

He's still punching when Toq falls unconscious and he's still punching when Spock shouts his name but receives no answer.

Body trembling, arms wrap around him, pulling him off of the bloody Klingon's chest.

"No! No!" He screams, fighting back the Vulcan's arms to throw in a few more punches at Toq.

"Captain! Jim!" Spock yells, pinning his arms down and pulling him aside.

But he doesn't listen; no he has to finish the job. Toq must die, for Bones. So he keeps fighting, shoving Spock away and scrambling back to the General's unconscious body only to be picked up forcefully and pulled away once more.

He's spun around and Spock meets his gaze, "Jim you must calm yourself."

He stares back at his friend, shaking within the Vulcan's grasp, "Spock…Bones." He whispers, his voice cracking.

Spock gives him an understanding nod and pulls him into a hug, bringing strong arms around him. He gives in, grasping onto Spock's shoulders after looping underneath the Vulcan's arms. They stand there, Spock holding him until he stops shaking from exhaustion and desperation.

Then, with the General properly secured and tied up, they make their long trek back to the Bridge where the rest of the crew awaits them. He and Spock climb the stairs slowly, Spock offering him support as he limps up the steps, almost falling over every couple of steps. Once back on the Bridge, Spock let's go of him, letting him make his way over to the small huddled group over by Bones.

His hands shake, his clothes are torn and he's pretty sure everyone's tired of seeing him in his spandex boxers. He limps over, brushing by Scotty and Uhura who only give him gentle smiles. He crouches down, seeing that some color has returned to Bones' face and that the Doctor's breathing has evened out.

Sighing, he slumps down, Uhura steadying him by placing a hand on his shoulder. Chekov offers a cheeky smile before standing up to run a diagnosis along with Sulu who gives him a nod. Scotty gets up as well, singling out some nurses to come over and help.

Spock comes beside him, looking between him and the unconscious Doctor, almost seeming to have an internal conflict. He gazes up, peering into Spock's dark eyes, wondering what the Vulcan is thinking.

"Spock, how long until we can get back on our feet?" He asks hoarsely, standing up with the help of Uhura as they watch the nurses, one of them being Chapel, take Bones away.

"Unclear. The Enterprise has taken severe damage, which will take months to repair. Warp is down, but I believe we still have the reserved generators left. But with the EMP, it will take longer to get everything back online." Spock informs him.

He groans, dragging his fingers over his weary face, "Alright, help Uhura get communications back on and see if we can contact our backup. Once we establish contact, let me know."

"Yes Captain." Spock replies and heads off with Uhura towards the communications station.

He walks over to Scotty, trying to place one foot in front of the other without falling onto his face, "Scotty, I want you down in the Engine Room and set up patrols to free the rest of the crew and gather up the rest of the damn Klingons." He orders, hearing Scotty give an 'Aye Captain' before heading off.

"Mister Chekov, Mister Sulu, how are we on navigations?" He questions, leaning heavily against the console, hoping no one will see his trembling muscles.

"Well sir, we still have impulse drive but all warp capabilities are down until Mister Scott gets them back online." Sulu reports, taking a glance over at him.

Chekov just sighs, "And I still can't seem to get our location, not with this broken console. It appears we will have to wait until backup arrives to find out."

He gives a curt nod before heading to the captain's chair, scooting away the chains that had held him down only so long ago. He slumps down, sinking into his chair with great comfort and relief. But instead of falling asleep, he keeps his eyes peeled, his vision becoming fuzzier with each passing hour.

It doesn't take long for Scotty and the patrol teams to round up all the Klingons, including Toq, and stick them into security cells, posting several guards outside of each one. Uhura and Spock manages to establish contact with the nearing Starfleet forces and with the reserved generators, they're able to get her humming again, but not afloat. Luckily, by now most of the crew has received proper medical attention, including all of the high ranking officers, well besides himself.

He slumps further in his chair, his chin resting in his trembling hand. He gives a hummpf as Spock approaches, bringing his posture upright.

"Mister Spock." He says and tries not to wince as his ribs shoot up in flames.

Spock observes his pain, but makes no comment, "Captain, Starfleet forces are approximately one hour, twenty-three minutes and forty-two seconds and counting."

He nods his head, "Thank you Spock. You have the conn."

Gathering to his feet, Spock steadies him and he gives a smile to the Vulcan. Spock just nods and watches him leave. He heads down the stairs slowly, walking passed crewmen, all giving him salutes which he quickly returns. He pushes on towards Sickbay until he finally reaches it, instantly searching for Nurse Chapel.

"Captain." Chapel greets him, coming across the half destroyed medical bay.

He offers a smile and walks up to meet her, "Nurse, please where's Doctor McCoy?"

"Over here Captain, and please I must insist that you get checked. Everyone else has been accounted for." Chapel tells him but he immediately shakes his head.

He can't do that, not here, not now. Bones needs him and so does the rest of the crew. He needs to be strong, not confined to Sickbay.

"Not now Nurse Chapel, please I just want to see the Doctor." He replies and Chapel gives a defeated nod.

"Alright, but Doctor McCoy will not pleased to hear that when he wakes up." Chapel warns and leads the way over.

He trails slowly behind, trying to hide the distinct limp in his stride and the noticeable wince in the edge of his lips. But despite the cuts and bruises, he manages to keep on his feet and follow Nurse Chapel to Bones. Once in the room, Chapel gives him a chair and he takes is greedily, plopping down with a long sigh.

Chapel just gives him a nod before leaving him alone with Bones. He glances over, studying the Doctor's face, taking in all the burn marks tattering the man's face and body. It scares him, sending shivers down his spine.

With a shaky hand, he reaches out, clasping onto Bones' clammy hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He remains there for quite a long time, nearly falling asleep in his chair. But a certain sound brings his attention back.

"Jim…" Bones voice rasps, tightening the hold on his fingers.

He smiles, trying to hold back the tears of joy, "Bones."

Bones grins and gives a chuckle which turns into a cough, "Here, lemme get you some water." He offers, hopping to his feet only to remember the punctured rib and the infected hip.

He nearly crumbles over if not for the convenient counter, "Shit Jim." Bones gasps from the hospital bed, almost getting up if it weren't for the wave of his hands, "I'm fine Bones, I'm okay."

"With hell you're fine." Bones growls and gives another cough which only reminds him of why he got up in the first place.

"Seriously Bones." He mutters, filling a glass of water before bringing it over to his best friend.

Bones mumbles 'thanks' before taking it from his hand and drinking it down. He just watches, sitting back down on the chair with a slight yawn.

The Doctor hands back the empty glass and he places it back on the counter without leaving the safety of his chair. Bones just glares at him, but as the Doctor is about to speak, Spock strolls in, hands behind back, looking intently at Bones.

"So it appears Doctor McCoy has awaken." Spock states, giving the Medical Officer a nod.

"Yes, it appears so." He replies, gathering to his feet slowly.

Spock only casts him a weary glance, "Captain, it would be most wise if you-"

"No Spock, no. Now please, what do you wish to inform me?" He asks, straightening out his posture and putting on his best lopsided grin, which isn't much considering his black and blue face and the various cuts along his cheeks and lips.

"I am here to inform you that Admiral Marcus has requested to meet." Spock tells him and Bones snorts loudly.

"Spock do you have better news? Because I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that last bit. Now please, some good news." He insists, earning a smile from Bones.

"Well Mister Scott believes with the correct parts, he can get the Enterprise back online in less than six weeks." Spock offers and he immediately brightens up.

"Now there's so great news." He responds cheerfully, giving the two officers a wide grin, which only results in his lips splitting.

Quickly he covers it up with his wrist, wiping away some blood and giving his two friends a shrug, "Well, what about that backup?" He questions, hearing a groan from Bones as he eases back down comfortably.

"They have already arrived Captain. Repairs are already on the way." Spock announces and his mouth gapes open.

"When were you going to tell me this?" He implores, brows furrowing together.

Spock just raises an eye brow, "Captain, please. I did not wish to disturb you."

"Disturb me from what Spock? I'm the Captain here and I need to be informed of these things." He lectures, his arms folding across his chest.

"Captain, you are in much need of rest. Over the course of the past couple of days, you have received multiple head traumas, a broken rib in which punctured through the skin, and several fractured and possible other broken ribs, your hip has been infected and bleeding for the past day, your legs still have fragments of shrapnel and burns from both explosions and you have acquired many cuts and bruises over your whole body. And I must say, none of these injuries have been properly treated. Captain, it is miracle alone that you are still alive and standing before us. So in conclusion I believe me decision to not inform you was a wise one." Spock concludes and in that moment, his body seems to realize how truly exhausted it is.

He starts to waver, but Spock quickly steadies him with a hand on his back, "Guess you're right." He murmurs, letting Spock sit him down in his chair.

"Don't worry Captain, after you receive proper medical attention, I will inform you of all the progress that has been made." Spock affirms and quickly calls over some nurses.

Chapel comes into the room with a grin, "Thank you Mister Spock, I told him he needs to be checked."

Spock gives a nod and Bones grins from the hospital bed, "Now please, come with me Captain." Chapel states, ushering him to his feet.

"Wait, no. I stay here with Bones." He demands, standing his ground.

"Doctor?" Chapel says, looking over at Bones.

Bones shrugs, "I'd actually prefer the Captain to be examined here where I can still see him."

"But Doctor, you need your rest, you've been severely injured." Chapel points out, letting him slump back down into his chair.

"Oh please Nurse Chapel, it's not that bad. I avoided most of the blast." Bones snorts with the wave a hand.

"And how exactly did you achieve that Doctor?" Spock questions, eye brows raised in sudden interest.

"I jumped Mister Spock. Actually, if it weren't for all the damn squats Jim has been making me do when we work out, I don't think I would've been able to jump far enough." Bones admits and he starts to chuckle loudly, causing everyone to look his way.

"Told ya a nice ass comes in handy." He laughs, clutching his aching ribs as his laughs jostle his insides.

"Yeah well you have a concussion so shut up." Bones growls, arms crossing.

"Well, it's settled then, the Captain will be examined here." Chapel announces and then helps him walk over to the other bio bed by Bones'.

"Very well, than I shall proceed in the effort to restore the Enterprise." Spock informs before heading out of the confined private room.

"He makes it sound like he's gonna be doin' all the damn work." Bones exclaims, head shaking in thought.

He glances over at Bones, giving a wince as he climbs into the bed with the help of Chapel, "Well he did manage to set off an EMP and take out Toq's ship. Plus he seems to have saved my life more times than I'd like to admit."

"Yeah, well I didn't see him setting off a bomb." Bones retorts, sinking into the bed with a huff.

He snorts, rolling his eyes at Bones, "Yeah well I didn't see you outwit the Klingons."

Bones glares at him, eyes like icy daggers, "Shut up Jim."

He sighs, beginning to take off his shirt when Chapel simply takes scissors out and cuts it off. He just gives a hummpf and lays back, shutting his eyes and ignoring the pokes and prods from Chapel.

He then begins to wonder, what if he lost the Enterprise? What then? What if he lost Bones? And Spock too. What would his life be without those people? Without his ship…it would be unbearable. To lose his ship, his crew, his friends, his family. But thank god it's still here, because the Enterprise is home, because once he was lost, just a selfish man with nothing but the clothes on his back, but now, he has Spock and Bones…and the Enterprise, his home, his family.

 **Author's Note: Hey so sorry for taking so long! I've been quite busy with all my other stories including:** ** _Waking Up is a Pain_** **and** ** _The Couch and The Bed_** **, and if you haven't read them yet, I suggest you do! I also have some other stories coming out soon, one of those being** ** _Doctor vs. Captain_** **and** ** _Secretly a Child at Heart_** **(sneak peeks can be viewed on my bio). Which all of these books are Jim and Bones pairings with little bits of Spock in some of them. So I'd like to thank yall for staying with me this far and please share your thoughts! I'd like to thank all 58 of yall who have followed this story and for the 26 favs and 20 reviews, it means the world to me! So thanks yall for making the adventure truly wonderful and stay tuned for the next chapter, hopefully it won't take me a million years lol. All of yall are amazing so thank you again, I can't say it enough. Live long and Prosper, cos I've been eating way too much ice cream to live beyond thirty. Speaking of 'beyond', go see the Star Trek premiere on the 22** **nd** **! It's gonna be lit and totally Beyond this world.**


	13. The Ballad of Serenity

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 13: 'The Ballad of Serenity' _Sonny Rhodes_**

 **Author's Note: For this chapter I'm going to write in a different style, it'll be more graceful and hopefully the story will flow more easily. I really hope this works out like I want it to, so please bear with me! So here it goes…**

It's been twelve days, and quite honestly he can't recall most of it. Most of the time it's just a blur, multiple surgeries, lots of the good drugs, and plenty of restless nights. But despite the extent of the damage done to his overworked body, his recovery is in record time, actually, he's released from Sickbay before the Doctor, which is saying something.

Jim has a wobble in his step, and limp in his hip, but he manages around the Enterprise. She's still broken, laying still, but bright, on the surface of a class M planet, which is completely desolate, so no worries. Spock is as logical as ever, constantly peering over his shoulder and taking inventory of repairs and upgrades and if Jim actually thinks about it, the Vulcan is doing all the damn work.

Most of the time, the blond Captain spends his time either at Bones' side, or beaming proudly in his captain's chair, signing off on all the upgrades, which he rather Spock go through, but the First Officer only insists that he does the signing. So he does it, not willingly, but he does it nonetheless which is bearable for Spock.

But all the signatures don't worry him; actually it's all the Klingons that he has stockpiled on his ship, which he just tells Starfleet every time he gets the chance, to get them the hell off his ship. But with much disappointment, the Admirals only insist that the timing is not now and that the intruders are secure with the Enterprise. But he only feels more anxious the longer they stay. They're a security risk and the Federation knows it, it's almost like they're setting him up to fail.

Jim would certainly be at more ease if all the Klingons were taken of the ship, even if he has to leave them behind on this deserted planet, but Spock's always there to remind him that doing so would be against orders and the he would get court martialed and to that, Jim can only offer the stoic Vulcan a snort of disgust.

Fortunately time passes quickly, and soon, Scotty will have the Enterprise humming her engines in less than three weeks. And at this time, Bones is finally released from Sickbay, the Doctor suffers from many burns to his torso and arms, but with the regens, most of the tissue has properly healed, leaving only small patches of soft pink skin which Bones says he'll have for the rest of his long miserable life. But thankfully, since he's finally out, Jim immediately offers him a day off to go drinking. Bones instantly accepts the offer, feeling relieved that he'll be able to have some alone time with Jim since this whole ordeal has started.

So the now the blond is intently sitting in the mess hall, one of Scotty's finest scotches' in his hand, awaiting the Doctor's arrival. But since he has alcohol, he suspects it shouldn't take too long for Bones to get his sorry burnt ass over here. Considering the fact that Bones has been missing out on a good drink in ages, especially being aboard the Enterprise, one did not receive too many opportunities to drink.

He sighs, sitting at one of the few remaining tables that they were able to scrounge up from the wreckage. The blond shifts exhaustedly, releasing yet again another sigh.

"Bored already?" Comes the familiar southern drawl that instantly brings his attention together.

Bones is the only person who can get his undivided attention immediately, even Spock has trouble getting him to focus. So yeah, he has his favorites, doesn't mean he didn't like Spock, it's just that he and Bones go back to the academy days.

"No, just waiting for your arrival." Jim chirps, casting the Doctor a weary glance and tries to make up for it by giving a lopsided grin, but it falls short.

"Something bothering you kid?" Bones questions, sitting himself opposite of the stressed blond, studying his manners.

Jim lets a third sigh, must be some record, "It's this whole damn thing Bones, it just doesn't seem to end."

Bones nods in understanding, bringing a hand up to his chin, scratching at the stubble, "It'll be over before you know it. Plus not much can happen now. The Klingons are keeping their distance and are denying any support to General Toq; they claim he was acting on his own accord."

"So they say." Jim grumbles, popping off the cork to the scotch and bringing forth two cups, filling both of them nearly to the brim.

"Jim, look, we're doing everything we can possibly do right now, which I know doesn't seem like much considering the fact that we're still stranded, but the Enterprise will be back on her feet in no time." Bones reassures, giving the scotch a good taste.

Jim chews his lower lip, shredding away any new scabs forming, "I know the Enterprise is going to be fine…that's not what's bothering me."

"Then what is?" The Doctor gives a huff, watching Jim look down at his cup, slightly tipping the glass.

"I had a meeting with Admiral Marcus." Jim announces slowly, bringing the cup to his lips and taking a large gulp.

Bones just growls under his breath, "Shit, what'd he want?"

"The Enterprise." The Captain breathes, placing his head in the croak of his arm, ignoring Bones' intense stare digging into his skull.

"What do you mean Jim?" The brunette asks, gripping his glass tighter.

Jim lifts his head up, hair mused, "He wants to take away the Enterprise. We have orders to return to Earth."

"Oh hell no! Not after everything we've been through." Bones snaps, slamming his fists into the table, causing Jim to flinch dramatically, he'll have to talk to Jim about that later, "Sorry." He murmurs quietly and watches Jim draw another long exasperated sigh.

"It's okay…" Jim mumbles, clawing at his hair, tearing at the tufts of blond at the base of his skull.

Bones glances the kid over, there's an uncontrollable tremble in his hands, his shoulders are narrower and hunched over, his right leg is extended straight to ease in the pain in his hip, there's a slouch to his posture where every now and again he clutches his aching ribs, and the swelling in his face hasn't completely gone down yet. It must be one hell of a month for Jim.

"No Jim, it isn't. We're not letting Admiral Marcus claim the Enterprise, there's no way." Bones growls, squeezing his glass, "Over my dead body." He adds, glaring down at his alcohol.

Jim sighs, again, goddamn it.

"There's nothing I can do. They're demoting me to lieutenant." Jim admits, releasing his grip on his hair and placing a hand on his left bicep, digging his nails into his skin to ease the anxiety.

"Not if I have something to do with it." Bones replies sharply, but Jim shakes his head, defeated.

"Without Admiral Pike's vouch…well he honestly thinks he can't pull me out of this one…It seems like he's getting pulled into the blame as well." He mutters, fingers digging deeper into his skin, a daily reminder of all the pain he has been through.

Bones notices the scratching and yanks Jim's hand away from his arm. Jim doesn't say anything, only stares down at his now bloody nails.

"Jim you saved the goddamn world from Nero! How can they take the Enterprise away? They have no damn right to do that." The Doctor points out, letting go of Jim's hand and resting back in his seat.

Jim shakes his head, "No they're saying the destruction of the Enterprise is my fault."

"That isn't true." Bones responds, looking into Jim's hurt blue eyes.

Jim gazes back, wondering why Bones has stuck with him through all these years. With all of his shenanigans, bar fights, rule breaking, and stupidity, one would think the Doctor would have left him to die in the gutters years ago. But yet here he is, having an honest conversation with his friend, thinking about why he's even here in the first place.

A dare, all it took for Jim Kirk to be here was a dare. And if it weren't for that dare, he'd probably be dead and he would have never met Leonard McCoy. Now imagine that, no Bones? He'd surely die without him.

But now here he is, he's going to lose the Enterprise and here is Bones saying that he's not going to let that happen. That's nonsense, Bones can't stop this, none of them can. The Enterprise is going to be taken away from him, along with his crew, there's no doubt in his mind.

How can Bones claim that he won't let that happen? The Doctor has no control, but somehow, despite his thoughts, having Bones say that makes him feel at ease. As long as the Doctor stays with him, he does truly believe that things can't go that bad, not with Bones around. Because at least they'll always have each other, that has to count for something after all these years.

So for the sake of Bones, he gives a genuine smile, instantly brightening the Doctor's mood, "Well, so they say, but I beg to differ."

Bones then returns the smile, "What are they calling you out on?"

Jim snorts, rolling his eyes, "Well technically, I was told by Admiral…well I don't quite remember his name, but I was given orders to head to the nearest Starbase because they believed that I had a mole on board."

"Do we?" Bones asks, slightly tense.

"I dunno." He replies dryly, taking another gulp of his scotch.

Bones snorts, "Oh, well how come we didn't go to the Starbase? We obviously stayed right on the border."

"I may have lied and said we had an away team out there and we were waiting for them to report back." Jim says, meeting Bones' gaze.

The Doctor scowls at him, making his heart sink and hit the floor. Has he really been that much of disappointment? Even Bones can see his mistake so plainly and now he's not sure if Bones is still on his side. Maybe he does deserve to have the Enterprise taken away. He did after all, disobey a direct order from the Admiral Whatever His Name Is, and he still hasn't taken any precautions to protect the Enterprise from whoever the mole is, actually why hasn't he taken care of that? Did it seriously slip his mind that easily?

If there's a mole on board, that person could possibly release the Klingons. Oh my god, he has to tell Spock.

He gathers to his feet, Bones instantly becoming confused, "Jim where are you going?"

"Bones, we have a mole on board! How else did General Toq find us? How did the Warp drive blow? Damn it Bones it was all a set up!" He shouts as he begins to sprint down the hallway.

Bones watches him leave, simply taking Jim's glass and chugging it down along with his own, he already has a feeling it's going to be another long week ahead of him. Once down he releases a sigh and gets up, slowly making his way to the Bridge, which he's certain that's where Jim is heading.

The blond is rushing down the hall, ignoring the few comments and confused stares as he goes. He has to talk to Spock, everything is clicking into place. But he has a feeling that this isn't just one mole, there has to be more. This mole somehow has taken out the Warp drive causing them to drift, has also taken valuable documents from the Enterprise and has given the location of the Enterprise away. This seems way too much for one person, no this person must have connections.

Jim pauses, stopping before the stairway to the Bridge. Whoever set this up wants him to fail. The Enterprise's mission to research the unstable star was already pretty sketchy; it made them sit near the border already. So whoever wanted him to fail probably was in contact with General Toq beforehand. That means, if his assumptions are correct, General Toq holds all the answers.

The Captain smirks, finally this is going to be interesting. His fingers curl into fists as he climbs up the steps hurriedly, making it to the top in no time to spare despite his current condition. He then bursts into the room, a charming smile already working its way onto his bleeding lips.

"Mister Spock!" He calls out, dashing to the Vulcan's side in an instant.

Spock gives him a look, clearly amused by his enthusiasm, "Yes Captain?"

"I need to speak with you." He replies in a hushed tone, getting all serious.

"Are we not speaking now?" Spock points out and he swears the Vulcan is becoming more and more sarcastic the longer he stays aboard the Enterprise.

"Ya'know, in private Spock." Jim whispers, giving everyone the Bridge a quick glance.

Spock nods his head, "Shall the Doctor join us?"

"Of course, once he makes it to the Bridge, I might've sprinted all the way here." He admits, rubbing his sore abdomen.

Spock studies him, which he's quite tired of every doing lately. He knows he can't look too good, not with all his cuts bruises still slowly fading away, but also everyone can see the way he limps and the way he holds his posture. But considering all the hell he's been through, he could've looked worse, and hell, Bones could've died for crying out loud!

Yet here they are, the universe somehow willing them to live on when they all know very well they should all be six feet under right now. Jim buried right next to his father…imagine that.

"It appears that wasn't the wisest decision Captain; you could have aggravated one of your many injuries." Spock replies and he only shrugs it off.

"Well I'm still standing here." The blond grumbles, staring towards the stairway for Bones since they still haven't fixed the elevator, which honestly is no surprise.

"That is a true statement. But I sense you are missing the point." Spock states his eye brow cocked up and Jim stares at him, wondering if someday he'll ever shave the Vulcan's eye brows off…maybe just once as a prank. But hell, what if they don't grow back?

"Spock I believe there was no point to your statement. Because obviously I'm here and I'm fine. So what's the big deal?" Jim says, giving other sorts of gestures with his hands.

"Damn it Jim." Bones growls, bringing both the Captain's and Science Officer's attention onto the Doctor.

"What?" Jim replies innocently, which Bones only gives him a glare, "Wanna tell me what's this all about?" The brunette grumbles, arms crossing in his normal fashion.

"I believe the Captain wishes to speak with us in private." Spock fills in and Bones snorts, "Of course he does." Jim just rolls his eyes, "C'mon Bones, it's important, it's about saving the Enterprise."

"Well, in that case I'm in." Bones responds with more enthusiasm then before.

"Do you wish for me to call in other officers?" Spock questions and the two humans look his way.

"Who exactly?" Jim pries, brows furrowing together, because damn it, the last thing he needs is having the mole at the meeting.

"Mister Scott of course." The Vulcan announces and Jim's lips twitch in thought.

"Scotty is busy with the Warp drive, which is the second most important thing right now, so I believe we should keep this between us. I don't wanna cause more panic or stress." Jim answers, giving both Spock and Bones a quick look.

They both nod their head in agreement, "Good." Jim mutters and turns to Sulu, "Mister Sulu, you have the conn." He declares, earning a 'Yes sir' from Sulu.

Jim nods his head and walks out, leading the pair down the stairs and to his own quarters. The whole way there, the Captain can't help but feel like the weight of the world has suddenly been dropped onto his shoulders, wearing him down into nothing but a smudge. Even with Bones and Spock on his side, it doesn't seem to help much with the stress now flooding his mind. But he's sure once this second ordeal has been sorted, he'll feel much better.

The blond enters his room, watching the Vulcan and Doctor enter before shutting the door behind them swiftly. He feels slightly tensed, but he lets shoulders sag once he sits down on his bed beside Bones. Spock simply pulls up a chair and sits down neatly, hands clasped together calmly.

Calm, something he wished he could feel right now.

"Well Captain, what has caused you to appoint this meeting?" Spock questions, legs crossing.

"We have a mole on board." He blurts out, chewing the inside of his lip cautiously, casting Bones a glance.

"How have you acquired this information?" The Vulcan asks, head cocked to the side in curiosity.

"I may have been told two weeks ago, right before the Enterprise crashed. It was during the meeting I had with Admiral…Admiral uhh…" Jim trails off, desperately trying to remember the name.

"Admiral Ward." Spock fills in the blank, and he mouths an 'O'.

"Yes, thank you Mister Spock. Admiral Ward informed me, but then I told him we had an away team out so he gave me four hours to report to the closest Starbase." The Captain informs them dully, glancing down at his shoes.

"And then the Warp drive went out." Bones adds, crossing his arms again.

Spock gives each human a look, "Which then left the Enterprise to drift across into the Neutral Zone, giving General Toq a cause to take action."

"Yeah, the bastard was waiting for us. They boarded through the damn old rec room; I got caught in the explosion." The blond grumbles, putting his face in his hands, yanking at the strands of golden hair.

"And that's when I found you, once I realized you hadn't made it to Sickbay." The Doctor groans, remembering that horrifying moment of despair.

Spock's gaze narrows onto the Doctor, "Doctor McCoy, what exactly was your reasoning for having the Captain come to Sickbay?"

"Ensign Yonder was put into critical condition." Bones drawls, his head hanging in defeat, Jim offers comfort by placing a firm hand on the man's shoulder.

"How come we were not informed of this?" Spock questions, his intense gaze still fixated on the brunette.

"I dunno Spock, maybe it had to do with the ship being invaded with Klingons and the Enterprise crashing into the ground! And hell, even after all of that, you've spent your days fulfilling the duties as Captain since Jim has for most of the time been lying on his ass mumbling incoherently. So you tell me why you don't know." Bones growls, edging to his feet only to be forced back down by Jim.

Spock stares, speechless from the Doctor's reaction; he had not predicted that, "I am sorry Doctor if I have offended you in some way."

"It's alright Spock. Guess I did overreact. It's been a long week." The brunette mutters, giving a sigh.

Jim gives Spock and look, but then settles back on Bones, "Where is Ensign Yonder now?"

Bones huffs, "He's dead Jim."

"What do you think happened?" He asks, rubbing his hands anxiously together.

The Doctor gives his hands a glare before replying, "Stab wound to the chest, it seems like someone wanted him dead."

"That would be logical; it appears that Ensign Yonder had discovered the mole and in return the mole killed him." Spock states, causing both of the humans to look at him, giving him the 'no shit Sherlock' look, the Vulcan can only counter with his signature eye brow raise.

"Alright, but what about the supernova that drove the Enterprise into the ground? Did the mole have something to do with that, or was it just bad timing on our part?" Jim questions and Bones just snorts, shrugging his shoulders at the blond.

"Captain, it would be illogical for the Klingons to board the Enterprise before the crash if they had known about it. Since they did indeed board the ship before the crash, obviously General Toq did not know about the unstable star, but they did plan on the exact location." Spock replies and Jim nods his head in agreement.

"Makes sense." Bones grumbles, giving a huff.

The Captain purses his lips, "So, how do we start to weed out the mole, or 'moles'? We'd have to interrogate each one individually."

"That could buy us time." Bones points out, but Jim stares at him, clearly not following.

"Time for what Doctor?" Spock asks and Bones smiles, finally something the Vulcan doesn't know.

"Well, Jim has to report back to Earth to have the Enterprise taken away correct?" Bones says, earning a nod from Spock and a 'Yeah' from Jim, "Yeah so why don't we use the whole 'mole' situation to buy us some more time. Because have we forgotten that we have a certain Klingon that is at the head of this plan and is very talkative?" Bones announces with a grin, and Jim jumps to his feet.

"You're a genius Bones!" Jim exclaims, "I get that a lot." Bones comments, but Jim brushes him off by continuing, "But, unfortunately you're a little late, I already thought of that." Bones just snorts, rolling his eyes, "Of course you have."

"Captain, so you believe while searching for the mole, we should interrogate General Toq and while doing so, use the current situation as an excuse to further remain stranded on this planet just to clear the ordeal up?" Spock asks and the blond gives a lopsided grin as he seats himself back down.

"Yup." He replies, and sees Spock's eye brows shoot up and hears a long sigh that exits the Doctor's mouth.

"Sounds crazy stupid." Bones growls.

Jim just snorts, "But it's either that or go back to Starbase, have the Klingons taken away and then begin our journey back to Earth, which is going to happen-I remind you-in a little over two weeks."

"Shouldn't Scotty be informed of all of this? He already did make the Warp drive announcements; maybe we should ask him to stall as well." Bones prompts and Jim nods his head in agreement.

"Mister Scott could prove useful in a situation like this. And it would also be logical to advice any other officers we trust." Spock declares, still sitting cross-legged in the chair.

The blond gives a yawn, "Yeah, so Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, and probably Nurse Chapel?"

"Yes, we do not want to inform too many people, or word could leak out." Spock replies firmly.

"Alright, we could hold a meeting tomorrow, o'eight hundred hours?" Bones questions and Jim gives another yawn from beside him, "You alright Jim?"

Jim snorts, "Yeah, just tired, and Spock you agree on the time?"

"Yes Captain, but who will run the ship while they are informed?" Spock asks logically, earning a groan from the Captain.

"Uhh, I can stay on the Bridge, Spock you'll tell them along with Bones." Jim mutters, rubbing his weary blue eyes.

"Of course I have to be there. You just hate goddamn meetings Jim-and quit yawning!" Bones exclaims as he's in mid yawn.

Jim clamps his mouth shut and exhales through his nose.

"Very well, but Captain I suggest you get plenty of rest before your morning shift." Spock insists before gathering to his feet.

"Yeah if you don't sleep, I'm gonna hypo your ass." Bones grumbles, getting up as well.

Jim nods his head and gets up, only to have Bones shove him back down onto the bed, "Stay here and get some rest." Bones tells him before leaving right behind Spock.

He sighs, watching his two best friends leave, Bones mumbling complaints about the upcoming meeting already. Getting to his feet, he closes the door and gathers up some clean sweats and a t-shirt to sleep in.

The blond stalks into the bathroom and runs a quick shower, letting the warm muscle relax his strained muscles. The warm water calms him slowly until his breathing is completely settled and he's almost falling asleep standing up. Man he must be tired. Shaking his head, he turns off the water and steps out, snatching a towel to swiftly dry himself off and giving his hair a good ruffle.

He slips on his boxers and sweats before stepping out of the comfort of the bathroom walls. Jim gives his room a little survey before climbing into bed, his blue eyes already drooping shut. With a snort he discards his shirt and pulls the sheets up around him, allowing the blanket to pool on top of him. Blue eyes close tight and sleep comes to him, swallowing the blond up in absolute darkness.

 **Author's Note: So yes this is a completely new writing style and I'm not sure how it worked out so yall can leave a review of whether I should continue this style or switch back. I'm trying my best to clear up the whole storyline because I guess I myself is quite confused on the whole matter lol, oh how I love the irony. Hopefully my posting will become more consistent especially since I sprained my ankle playing soccer Thursday so I guess I have nothing better to do. Sp I hope yall have enjoyed this so far and I'm not really sure where this is going, but then again, when do I ever? I'd like to thank all of yall that have been reading this story and I know some of yall have been reading my short stories and if yall haven't go check em' out! Thanks again yall and have an amazing rest of your summer! Live Long and Prosper, just watch out for em' tribbles, they're trouble.**


	14. Blink

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 14: 'Blink'** _ **Revive**_

Jim scoots himself further into his chair, using the armrests as support. He sighs, running a hand through his mused golden hair, wondering when the last time he has brushed it. The blond is taking the morning shift, but he's still exhausted. Dark bags are underneath his dull blue eyes and the paleness of his skin doesn't help either.

"Captain!" Spock shouts, causing him to snap around in his chair.

For some weird reason, Spock's voice sounded exasperated, almost panicky. That can't be right. Spock doesn't panic; damn, the Vulcan doesn't even show his emotions.

"Yes Mister Spock?" He replies coolly, trying to keep the stress at bay.

Spock's mouth hangs open momentarily and suspense begins to build up in Jim's gut, "What Spock?" He breathes, gathering to his feet.

"It's Doctor McCoy… he's gone." Spock mutters and the blond rushes to his side.

"What-how? Where is he?" Jim questions desperately, clutching Spock by the shoulders and shaking him wildly.

Spock grabs him back, "He's down in Sickbay… Jim, General Toq he-"

The Vulcan couldn't even finish, Jim sprinted away, dashing down the stairs and flying through the hallways to Sickbay. This couldn't be happening, this can't be real. Bones can't really be gone… can he?

Heart pounding in his chest, anxiety slicing through his demeanor, he bursts into Sickbay, scanning the room until he successfully locates Bones in the private sector. The Doctor is pale and unmoving. Jim sways slightly, feeling nauseous, but he pushes the queasiness aside and runs to Bones' side, brushing by a crying Nurse Chapel.

"Bones…?" He whispers, grasping the older man's hand.

The Doctor doesn't move, his fingers limp in Jim's hand. Tears begin to well in his shimmering eyes and he squeezes Bones' hand, trying to get a reaction from him. But there's none, Bones is lifeless.

"I'm sorry sir." Chapel mutters hoarsely, pointing at the screen with Bones' vitals.

Jim follows the shaky finger, gazing up at the screen. Bones heart has flat-lined, the continuous beeping sound filling his ears. Bones is dead, he's gone forever.

"No…no he can't be." Jim cries, taking a few steps back, shaking his head miserably.

Bones can't be gone, no this isn't happening. It wasn't meant to be this way, they were going to spend their careers together, traveling through endless space, side by side.

"Captain." Spock addresses him, but he shoves Spock away running out of Sickbay and to his own quarters, tears streaming down his face.

Jim crashes into his room, locking the door behind himself. He collapses to the ground feeling like someone has taken the life from him. He's gasping, vomit making its way out of his mouth and onto the once clean floor.

Bones, Bones can't be dead. Bones is always supposed to be here for him, Bones can't die.

The blond curls in on himself, arms wrapping around his legs and rocking back in forth, wishing for Bones to appear and tell him that everything's okay, that he's alright. Because without the good Doctor, he's a mess, a miserable, pathetic, useless mess.

He needs Bones now, more than ever.

His heart rate escalates. Sweat builds up on his skin and tremors begin to course through his body.

"Jim!" A voice calls out to him, his entire world seeming to shake.

"Bones don't leave me please." He mumbles, voice quivering with anguish.

"I'm right here Jim, right here." Bones voice calls out to him, and he feels a pair of arms bring him upright.

But he pushes the arms away, blue eyes flying open to welcome a new darkness. There's someone in front of him, gripping his shoulders. Immediately he yanks the hands off and scrambles away, falling to a hard floor and pressing his back up against a wall.

His pants fill the room and there's an unnatural stillness until the figure comes closer to him, causing him to press himself harder against the solid wall.

"Lights at twenty." The voice orders and the room brightens up, revealing the Doctor before him.

"Bones." He breathes flinging himself from the floor and into Bones' arms.

Bones embraces him instantly, welcoming all the sweat and shaking coming off of Jim.

"I thought you were dead." Jim mutters into Bones' shoulder, blinking away the unshed tears.

Bones sighs, placing strong hands on the younger man's back, "It was just a dream kid, you're alright now."

"Thanks Bones." The blond mumbles after a moment of silence between the two.

The Doctor smiles down at the head of golden hair, not daring to move in fear of ruining the moment. Jim isn't the most open person in the world, hell, he might just be the most closed off, but it's moments like these Bones enjoyed because Jim will always be honest with him. Though, he never enjoys seeing Jim in such pain and distress.

Jim sinks into the Doctor's lap, releasing a huff. Seeing Bones dead like that really shook him up, more than he'd like to admit. Just seeing how pale Bones was, it scares him because that could have been Bones. The Doctor could've died, right there on the Bridge two weeks ago, before his eyes. It could've all been over, right then and there.

What would he do without Bones? He can't survive without the Doctor; he'd have no desire to continue forth in life.

"Alright, c'mon Jim, it's two in the morning." Bones grumbles, hefting the kid off of his lap.

Jim gives a lopsided grin, making Bones grin back, "Yeah Bones, it's two in the morning. What are you even doing here?"

"Your vitals were off the charts." Bones explains gathering to his feet and tugging the blond up with him.

"At least I have some." Jim mumbles under his breath and Bones perks up, "What was that?" Bones questions, "Nothing." Jim replies and Bone nods his head and starts to leave.

"Oh, well, you heading back to your place?" Jim asks following Bones to the door.

Bones pauses in the doorway, turning around on his heels, "Well that depends, are you going to freak me out again?"

"I dunno, maybe you should stick around, ya'know, just to make sure." Jim smiles, licking his lips and staring into Bones' dark brown eyes.

The Doctor freezes, obviously going over his options, "Are you making me an offer to spend the night with you?"

"Only if you accept it, if you don't I'll just call it a misunderstanding." The blond chuckles, eyes downcast before making their way back to Bones' face.

"Jim, this isn't the academy days we-" Bones starts but Jim raises a hand, "Its okay, I understand, wouldn't be appropriate." Jim states and Bones nods his head, "Yeah wouldn't be appropriate." Bones mutters, head hanging.

"But who's going to know about it?" Jim asks suddenly, causing Bones to look back up at him, meeting those intense blue eyes of his.

"Damn it Jim, I have meeting, and Spock's going to be there. You know that Vulcan would find out." Bones replies sharply.

"True, alright then. Night Bones." He says, slightly defeated, but he hopes Bones didn't notice.

"Night Jim." Bones responds and then leaves the presence of the doorway, leaving Jim to stand there.

He sighs, shutting the door and crawling back into bed, but when he tries to close his eyes, they remain peeled open. Jim's restless and he can't help but feel like there's ants crawling along his skin. Shifting, he starts to scratch at his arms, waiting for the pain to make the edgy feeling disappear.

It's not supposed to be like this and he knows it. None of this should be happening. Since when did he become a prize possession to the Klingons? And who the hell wants the Enterprise taken away from him? He knows there are a lot of higher ups that don't agree with Admiral Pike's decision to make him Captain, but would they really go the extreme to make a deal with General Toq. If not the Admirals, then was General Toq acting on his own accord like the Klingon Ambassadors claim? Did General Toq make a deal with one of his crewmembers and it isn't the Federation Counsel's doing?

There are too many questions and not enough answers. It's rampaging through his mind, causing him to toss and turn. Sweat starts to build up again and his fingers begin to claw at the sheets. He's becoming more and more fidgety with each passing minute, to the point where he feels like he's suffocating, drowning in his own blood.

Jim rolls over, vomiting at the foot of his bed, limbs shaking as they prop him upright. He blinks away the sweaty tears and wipes his face off with the hem of his shirt.

What is wrong with him?

Releasing a shaky sigh, he slumps back down letting his body sink into the mattress, consuming him.

Time flies by too quickly and before he knows it, his alarm is going off, signaling for him to get out of bed and prepare for the morning shift. He groans, slamming a fist onto the alarm clock. With a grunt, he gets to his feet, rubbing his exhausted face until his eyes can see clearly. He stumbles into his bathroom and washes up, ignoring the growing stubble on his jaw and the puffy dark bags underneath his dull eyes.

He cleans up quickly, skipping the shower and simply splashing water onto his face and throwing on some deodorant. The blond then makes his way to the dresser, pulling on his regulation black pants and the golden captain's shirt. He groans as he pulls the shirt over his head and he quickly slips on some socks and shoes before heading out the door, taking no notice of the vomit from last night.

His gaze is downcast, only mumbling 'morning' to the people who made the effort to say hello to him. Which one would think with his ragged appearance that they'd just leave him alone…one would think.

Licking his lips, he enters the Bridge, welcoming the bright lights that shine down on his face, slightly blinding but he can deal with it. He blinks several times and gives the usual grin, but it falls short when he remembers that all of his favorite officers are in a meeting with Spock and Bones.

Damn it, this isn't going to be his morning is it?

The blond just mumbles as he's greeted by several ensigns, but he's not in the mood for conversation. He brushes past them and plops down in his familiar chair, petting the smooth armrests with much comfort.

Jim lets go of a stressed sigh, gripping the armrests until the feeling passes completely. He almost lets his body slump over, but then he remembers he's on duty and he immediately straightens out his posture, hoping nobody noticed his mistake.

It's been a long a week, but at the same time it seems to fly by, not letting him settle and just think about it for once. And now when he looks back, he really wished he had brought the subject of Bones' near death experience up last night. It's been bugging him, edging into his mind and apparently now his nightmares as well.

He can't help but feel despair and torment at the memories. They plague his mind and disturb his thoughts and he's unable to stop it, he can only let it wash over him until their gone. But as time goes on, the memories come up more frequently, seeing the Doctor dead and unmoving in his arms, it frightens him.

Jim knows it's just his imagination getting the best of him, but he knows deep down if Bones hadn't managed to get far enough away from the initial blast he would have died in his arms. And as much as he reminds himself that the Doctor is alive and well, there's a feeling deep down that one day death will get its way and it will claim Bones. Then, within that very moment of Bones' death, Jim will be without his Bones, and if he's honest with himself, he'll become nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Quite frankly, Jim knows it's probably his mind playing tricks on him, showing his worst fears, but he can't shake the feeling, so it leaves him with only one option. Maybe it's time to give the Enterprise up; maybe she's not right for him. Maybe the Enterprise isn't right for he and Bones; maybe they deserve something else, maybe something a little better. And if they don't deserve it, at the very least Bones does. Bones has worked so hard, he has accomplished things that only people can dream of, yet here the man is, on board a starship, grumpily going along with him and he can't figure out why.

Bones hates space and Jim knows it, so maybe it's time for Jim to return the favor. Bones has always been there for him, through thick and thin, so maybe, just maybe, Jim can do this one thing for Bones. Maybe it's time he let go.

It's time for them to return to Earth, for Jim Kirk to let go of the USS Enterprise, to give up command and hang up his golden uniform. It's time for Jim Kirk to take Bones away from space, away from this horrid life that only leads to more and more death. It's time for the two to get away, and possibly start a new life, where Bones can finally get the thing that he's always wanted, since day one of their friendship, his daughter Joanna.

It's the very least Jim can do for Bones and he knows his best friend deserves much more. So maybe this is meant to happen, maybe there is such a thing as fate and destiny. Because if he really thinks about, hard and long, he's not even sure what he's getting out of this life. If he continues this career of exploring new worlds and seeking out new civilizations, more people will get hurt, and some even killed. And he's not sure if he can deal with that anymore, maybe it's time for him to back down and hand in the Enterprise, it would be for the best.

Is the Enterprise really in his best interests if he keeps her? Does he still have the right to be Captain?

He's pretty sure he's too weak, incompetent, useless, to be any value to the Enterprise. Surely if he's debating of leaving then he can't be fit to lead the USS Enterprise because she deserves much better, far better then what he's offering.

"Captain, are you alright?" A voice breaks into his thoughts and he swivels around to face the source.

It's Spock. The Vulcan's expression is odd, eye brows raised in curiosity.

"Yes, fine Mister Spock." He replies sharply, spinning back around to face out into space, into the gleaming stars.

Spock nods and goes down the stairs and takes a firm stance by his chair. Jim glances up at him, offering a little smirk.

"Thought you had a meeting to be at?" The blond comments, bringing a hand up to cover his lips.

Spock raises an eye brow at him, "Captain, the meeting ended an hour ago. Your shift ends in approximately in less than three minutes."

"Oh." He mutters, wondering where the time went.

Spock's dark eyes narrow down at him, "Are you sure you are alright Captain? Did you receive an efficient amount of sleep?"

Jim just snorts, "Yes, I'm fine Mister Spock. I just…I just lost track of time, that's all."

The Vulcan nods his head in understanding, "Very well. Doctor McCoy wished me to inform you that he'd like to see you in Sickbay once your shift is over."

"Like hell. My next medical isn't due for another week." He groans, rubbing his eyes to clear his vision.

"Yes, but he directly ordered me to make sure you went straight to Sickbay right after your shift. You wouldn't want to displease the Doctor Captain, he tends to, well, he seems to voice his opinions on such matters." Spock replies and Jim perks up.

"What do you mean 'voices his opinions' Spock? Wait, does he complain to you about it? Oh my god." Jim chuckles and if Spock had shown emotion, he would've rolled his eyes right about now.

"I wouldn't use the term 'complain' but he does state his criticisms on such matters." Spock tells him sharply.

The blond snorts loudly, "Spock, 'criticism' is just a fancy way of saying complaint."

"Exactly why I use criticism." Spock responds and Jim's mouth gapes.

"A Vulcan with class? Jeez, someone pinch me because I can't believe what I'm hearing-oww!" Jim exclaims, rubbing his sore bicep, "Damn it Spock, I didn't mean it literally."

"Oh, my apologies Captain. And your shift has legitimately ended now." Spock states and the blond Captain groans, "Do I hafta?"

"Yes Captain, you do 'hafta'." Spock says awkwardly and Jim looks up at him.

"Ya'know what Spock? Stick with your Vulcan classiness, human slang doesn't suit you." Jim informs him, getting up from his chair and giving Spock a pat on the shoulder before heading down the stairs.

Jim grumbles to himself the whole way there. He can't believe it, what does the Doctor want to talk about now? Is it about the meeting? Is it about General Toq? Is it about last night-oh my god what if Bones thought he was hitting on him? That could be an issue. Or maybe Bones wants to return to Earth and maybe stay there permanently?

The blond makes his entrance into Sickbay, the place is pretty empty now, most of the crew has now been released and sent back to their stations. There are a few crewmembers still in need of medical attention, but most of the people in here are the medical staff, one of those people being the grumpy Doctor McCoy.

"Captain!" Bones calls out to the clueless blond.

Jim glances the Doctor's way and instantly a smile crawls up his bruised face. Bones can't help but chuckle as Jim happily trots over like a lost puppy who has just found his owner.

"Hey Bones, you needed me?" The blond asks cheerfully and Bones stares at him suspiciously, "What?" Jim grunts, head tilted to the side in slight confusion.

"Usually I have to drag you down here." Bones replies, arms folding across his chest.

"Oh, well Spock was scaring me with his Vulcan class." Jim explains, "What?" Bones mutters and Jim shrugs, "It's nothing."

"Good, now c'mon." The brunette demands and stalks off with Jim right behind him.

Bones leads him into his office, letting Jim walk in before him and then shuts the door behind himself. Jim glances at him, tense and a little bit anxious, the Doctor can tell by the way he rubs his hands together nervously and his gaze settling not on his face but the closed door behind him.

"So, what's this about?" Jim voice croaks out and the Captain's face flushes with embarrassment.

Bones ducks his head down, pretending not to notice the tension in the air, "Jim, we need to talk."

Jim nods his head, "I've actually been thinking a lot about that lately. Especially since they want to take the Enterprise away."

"Yeah, that's what I've been thinking a lot about too and I just wanna say…" Bones trails off, his gaze meeting Jim's, "I just wanna say, some things happen for the best-even if we don't know it at the time, good or bad…and well, it's just, well I'm always going to be there for you Jim. Just trust me on that one, so don't worry about this because we'll handle it, like we've always done over the years-minus the alcohol though." The Doctor adds at the end with a chuckle.

Jim offers a weak smile, "Yeah, I know Bones. I understand."

"Oh, okay good, did you want to say something?" Bones questions and Jim gives a huff, giving a scratch at the hairs on the back of his neck.

"I just wanted to tell you, whatever you decide to do, I'm okay with it Bones and I'm on board with it, no matter how bad it sounds." The blond mutters shyly.

Bones nods his head, "Thanks Jim, it means a lot to me. Especially right now during these hard times, sometimes I just wonder…"

Jim sighs, "Wonder what?" The Doctor looks his way, "I just wonder if maybe what if this had played out differently… but it's okay, because we're sticking together and we're gonna be outta here in no time."

The blond grins sheepishly, "Yeah, outta here in no time."

Jim looks at Bones, apparently the Doctor does want to leave the Enterprise, because they'll be 'outta here in no time'. But it'll be for the best, if Bones thinks they should leave then he's prepared to do so.

"Thanks Jim, for being understanding, shit this deep can take some time to get through. But I promise we'll make it work out. And before ya'know it we'll be right where we need to be." Bones reassures and the Captain nods his head, "Of course we will, just like we've always done."

"Exactly." Bones replies and watches as Jim gives a ragged sigh and heads for the door, "Oh and Jim?" The blond turns sharply on his heels and gazes into his eyes, "Yeah?" The Doctor pauses slightly, "Get some sleep will ya? I had Spock clear the rest of your day."

"Oh okay, thanks Bones." Jim smiles and strolls through the door, leaving Bones alone in his office.

Bones sighs, the kid sounded off and he didn't like it. Was there something bugging the kid?

The blond leaves Sickbay and heads for his own quarters. He'll take the Doctor's advice for once and get some sleep. And by the time he reaches his room, he's definitely obeying it for once.

Jim closes his door and plops down miserably into his mattress, releasing a sigh which sounded more like a grunt into his pillow. He throws off his shoes and strips down to his boxers. Giving an exasperated moan, he plunges back down into his bed and tangles himself up in the blankets. And it doesn't help when his room still reeks of vomit.

"Damn it." He groans, trying to ignore the smell by pushing his face harder into the pillow.

He feels torn now, split apart between two lives. Bones really does want to leave and apparently he's going for the ride. He knew deep down that he'll have to give up the Enterprise because this starship deserves far better. And so does Bones. If Bones wants to leave, then he'll have to follow, the Doctor earned this and much more. It's the least he can do for Bones.

Jim exhales, rolling over to his other side and shuts his blue eyes.

If Bones really wants to leave this life, then he's going with him because he did just tell Bones that he'll follow him no matter what.

There's just one thing nagging at him. If he is going to give up the Enterprise to follow Bones, he has to at the very least make sure it's put into good hands; maybe he'll have to talk to Pike about that.

It's settled, he'll leave the Enterprise and go with Bones wherever the Doctor desires, he just only wished that time would slow down for once because he has a feeling that this life will be over in a flash.

 **Author's Note: Hey yall! Thanks for all the follows and favorites it means the world to me! Plus the views on this story are crazy! I just love all of yall. So I'd like to thank all of yall who have been following this story, yall or the best. And I've been thinking of adding more Spock, maybe just a chapter about Bones and Spock bickering with each other and Jim just watching. I don't know, but I guess I'll find out because I never plan these chapters. So yall are amazing and stay tuned! Live Long and Prosper and watch out for furry tribbles!**


	15. Human

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 15: 'Human' _Manafest_**

Blue eyes fly open, welcoming the darkness that surrounds him. He sits up hazily, giving a yawn and stretching his arms.

He checks the time.

Goddamn.

It's only been two hours since he went to bed. So much for the sleep Bones wanted him to get. Apparently this will have to do for now. He doesn't want to waste his day sleeping it off, especially since Spock has cleared his whole schedule.

Grunting, the blond climbs to his feet, letting the blanket hang over the edge of the bed landing squarely in the left over vomit.

Goddamn again.

Jim growls and gathers up the blanket, throwing it into the hamper shoot and grabbing a towel and disinfectant to clean the floor. He only groans as he scrubs his own puke from the ground and discards the towel and spray.

He sighs, standing upright and stifling yet another yawn. He blinks away the exhaustion and picks out some clothes to wear, deciding on a basic academy hoodie and gray sweats.

Jim throws the clothes on and calls it good, skipping out on the shoes and only putting socks on before heading out to the cafeteria. It takes him awhile to get there, he's in a better mood now so he says hello to the passing crewmembers and actually gives a decent smile.

The Captain enters the eatery, breathing in the aroma of replicated food, which in all of its worth, doesn't actually smell any better than a high school cafeteria. His smile suddenly drops into a frown when he sees the Doctor sitting beside Uhura, chatting away. Uhura's face is lit with a sweet smile and Bones is chuckling loudly with a big grin creeping on his lips.

Jim snorts and crosses his arms. Since when did those two hang out? Then again, it's not like the Doctor is unable to have friends outside of him. Speaking of the Doctor, did Bones really want to leave? Because now he's having second thoughts, there's no way he can leave the Enterprise, not ever. Just thinking about leaving space forever and spending the rest of his pathetic life on Earth brings chills down his spine.

Maybe he needs to confront the Doctor about this. But will Bones understand?

Jim exhales hoarsely and makes his way over to the replicator machines, brushing by several ensigns. They greet him kindly but his gaze falls to the floor as he greets them back.

He chews his lower lip as he choices a simple cup of black coffee, not bothering on the creamer because it tastes like shit anyways. He drums his fingers impatiently as the machine spits out his request and when it does finally finish, he snatches the cup and begins to stalk away, hoping to make it to his quarters so he can sulk in solitude, but a certain someone had to notice.

"Hey, Jim!" Bones calls out, noticing the Captain as he tries to slither out of the cafeteria.

Jim pauses, holding his cup of coffee dearly, wondering if he should just keep walking or if he should actually turn around. But he sighs and turns around, offering the pair a weak grin which only seems to bring worry onto the Doctor's face.

"Jim, you wanna join us?" Bones asks and Jim nods his head and strolls over, seating himself beside the Doctor casually.

"Straight up black? Didn't know you liked it that way." Uhura comments, giving the contents of his mug a quick glance before settling her gaze on his pale face.

Jim just grunts in response, taking a sip of his drink, trying not to gag on the aftertaste.

"Doesn't look like you slept much." Uhura informs him and Jim does everything he can not to make a rude comment back.

"I told him to get some sleep, looks like he's not good at following orders." Bones chuckles and Jim looks up from his drink, eyes bloodshot, "That's way I make them."

Bones smiles falls short within that moment and he gives Uhura a nod. The Communications Officer nods her head in understanding and clears her plate, leaving the two officers alone.

"Jim, somethin' you ain't telling me?" He questions sternly, waiting for Jim to say something, but the kid remains quite.

"Look kid, I can't help you if you're not talking." Bones grumbles, shoving a spoonful of soup into his mouth.

Jim gives the Doctor a look and then settles his gaze back onto his cup of black coffee.

"Jim." Bones says warningly, glaring at the blond beside him, searching for any tell signs, but he's emotionless.

Damn, Jim needs to stop hanging out with Spock; friends really do rub off on each other.

The Captain sighs, suddenly becoming smaller and much younger. His fingers curve shakily around the mug and he bites down on his lip, keeping his eyes fixated on the liquid.

"I'm just tired of this Bones, all this shit just keeps happening, one after another." Jim groans, pushing his mug away and shoving his head into the croak of his arm.

Bones looks down at him, "Yeah, I know what you mean, that's why I just wanna get this crap out of the way and leave this hellhole. This whole thing is driving me crazy."

"Yeah, leave." Jim sighs plainly.

"Yeah, maybe when this is all sorted out, we can leave, just you and me." Bones smiles, patting his shoulder.

Jim lifts his head up wearily, offering a dry smile, "I'd like that."

He lied. He just flat out lied to Bones and the Doctor is buying his bullshit because the man grins back.

"I'm sure you would. You've earned it. Even the Vulcan can't deny that." Bones laughs softly and glances back down at his bowl of soup.

"But there's something I need to do first." The blond growls and gets to his feet, gulping down the rest of the coffee.

"And what is that? Because I swear if I have to hold one more meeting with Spock I'm gonna rip his pointy ears off." Bones questions, still slowly shoving more soup into his mouth, because he knows he'll catch up with Jim later, whatever the devious blond is about to do.

"Have a chat with General Toq." Jim declares, gripping his mug tightly before marching off towards god knows where to get himself into god knows what…let's just say Bones has absolutely no idea and it's probably better if it stays that way, so the Doctor doesn't rush himself, he merely continues to eat his soup because in time, all things will be revealed.

Jim makes his way to the Bridge, looking for his First Officer but is surprised when he bumps into him in the hall.

"Hey Spock!" He exclaims and Spock raises an eye brow at him.

"Yes Captain, I am right here." Spock replies and Jim rolls his eyes at him.

Vulcan sass.

"Mister Spock, would you like to accompany me to General Toq's cell?" He asks and devilish grin forms on his lips, one of which Spock has seen too many times before.

"Of course Captain. You of course know where it is I presume?" Spock articulates and Jim smiles, "Yes of course. I know exactly where he is." Jim beams confidently and starts to lead the way, but after a couple of steps he stops.

"Something wrong Captain?" The Vulcan inquires curiously.

The Captain's mouth hangs open, "Actually, I have no idea. What cell is he being held in?"

"Do not be concerned Captain, I will show you for I know exactly where it is located. I foresaw this complication." Spock announces and takes lead with Jim right behind.

"What do you mean 'foresaw'?" The blond prompts, gazing over at his pointy eared friend.

"I mean Captain; I anticipated such an impediment in your abilities to remember the precise location of General Toq." Spock clarifies casually.

Jim scoffs boisterously, "Whatever Spock, if I recall correctly, I had an awful concussion and was stuck lying on my ass for over a week. So sorry if I can't remember."

Spock continues in stride, placing his hands behind his ever straight back, "No need for apologies Captain. I wish to apologize; I did not mean to offend you Captain-"

"Offend? Hardly." Jim butts in.

"-you were in a vulnerable situation and it is normal for humans such as yourself-"

"Vulnerable? I wish to know why you keep insulting me." Jim grumbles as Spock keeps speaking over him.

"-to not recall certain issues or complications going on at the time. It is, completely standard, so please Captain, if you have any other trouble in remembering such matters, I can inform you of them." Spock finishes firmly.

"Oh, why thank you Spock. Finally you've stopped insulting me." The Captain mutters and Spock stops in stride and turns to face him.

"Captain, I am merely giving you an opportunity to fill in lost memory. I am not insulting you in any way." Spock objects and Jim grins at him.

"Spock you said I was 'vulnerable' and then you went on to reassure me that not remembering is completely normal. I feel like you think I'm weak." Jim addresses and Spock's mouth opens slightly.

Jim wonders if he broke Mister Spock, but then, magically, Spock continues forth in life. Thank god, he didn't wanna get a new Vulcan; he can barely stand this one.

"Captain, I was only stating the facts. If I desired to call you 'weak', I would take into accordance of many different missions and carefully analyze each one before coming to the consensus of calling you 'weak'." Spock assures and the blond's grin falls.

"So you do think I'm weak!" He exclaims exuberantly.

The Vulcan's eye brows shoot back up and Jim feels like Spock's judging him, "Captain, I did not directly state that. I was merely explaining of how I would come to the conclusion of such a designation."

"Yes, but you were implying that if you did go through our past missions, you'd come to the conclusion that I'm weak. I can't believe it, you think I'm pathetic." Jim accuses, folding his arms across his chest.

"I was only speaking hypothetically." The Science Officer points out strictly and Jim huffs.

"Hypothetical my ass. You were implyin' it and you know it." The Captain complains, "Now please Mister Spock, before I decide to do something I might regret, show me where General Toq is being held."

"Very well Captain." Spock muses and dips his head before leading the blond further down the hall.

Jim snorts and trots alongside his First Officer, head slightly drooping in a tired fashion. He rubs at his stinging eyes and licks his chapped lips. Lack of sleep is a killer.

Spock takes into account of the Captain's characteristics but decides to take no action, not now. The Captain will more than likely respond in a bad way to such criticism at this moment. So simply, Spock leads his commanding officer to the cell which holds General Toq, silently calculating all the possibilities in his head.

Suddenly Spock comes to halt and Jim almost crashes straight into him. The startled blond looks up from his feet and gazes at the door before him.

"This is where the General is being held Captain. Do you wish for me to accompany you inside?" Spock asks politely and slowly Jim brings his blue eyes off of the door and onto his face.

"No." Jim orders and Spock nods his head and watches the Captain go up to the door, sucking in a large breath before telling the guard to open the door.

The cell door swooshes open, revealing the dark figure inside. Jim's hands instantly clench into fists, his right hand still holding the empty coffee mug. The blond then steps inside and orders for the door to be closed, the guard nods his head and closes it.

Jim takes a few cautious steps forward, "Lights at seventy."

Time seems to slow as the lights obey the command and brighten, lighting up the dark corners of the room and shedding some light on the table at the center of the room. Just a couple feet in front of him is General Toq. The Klingon's face is still larger than it should be, and that's saying something, and his body is tattered with bruises and cuts that probably haven't been properly treated for. Toq's skin is ashy and his figure looks thinner than he recalls.

"So, you've finally shown your face. I was beginning to think that you died." Toq snarls, getting to his feet without a shiver in his stance and Jim sees just how strong the Klingon is.

"Just busy. Repairing the damage you caused." Jim explains, arms crossing and his hand squeezing tightly onto the mug.

Toq smiles sheepishly, checking Jim out, obviously taking into account the Captain's ragged appearance, to the old hoodie and feet with only white socks, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself."

"I didn't come here for bullshit apologies." The blond growls, taking a step closer.

The General doesn't budge and remains still, "Then what did you come here for Captain?"

"Answers." Jim replies sharply.

Toq huffs and chuckles softly, earning a glare from the human, "Ask away to your little heart's desire."

"Who are you working for?" The blond demands.

Toq smiles and casually seats himself at the interrogation table that's set up in the middle of the room, gesturing for the Captain to sit at the other side. Jim rolls his eyes and seats himself.

"Well?" The Captain insists, fingers drumming against the mug.

Toq watches his fingers before snapping his gaze up to the Captain's blue eyes, "I work for myself."

"So I've heard, but I'm calling bullshit on your part. Who do you work for?"

"Captain, don't waste your time, your interrogation methods are petty compared to what typical Klingon officers receive during training." Toq points out.

Jim grins, "You haven't seen anything yet. I'm just sparing you the pain."

"Well please, don't bother because I don't need your sympathy. Plus your regulations hold you back from torture, your people believe it is morally wrong." General Toq states plainly with a sigh.

"Please General, I have my ways. Spare yourself and just answer the question." Jim growls, hands now firmly pressed against the table's surface.

Toq reads his signs, the Captain isn't lying, "I did answer, I told you I work for myself, nobody told me to do this."

"That's not what the Klingon Ambassadors claim." Jim responds, eyes kept firmly gazing at the Klingon.

"And what did they say exactly Captain?" Toq inquires, suddenly intrigued.

"They found your inside man, they're bringing him to justice right now as we speak." The Captain declares, trying to find any reactions from the General, but he gives none.

"My inside man?" Toq almost laughs.

"The man who was giving you orders from a safe distance, back on a Klingon outpost." Jim growls, fingers beginning to ball back up into fists.

The General laughs to himself, "Captain, I reassure you I did not receive any orders to do…" Toq trails off and looks about himself, "well this!" Toq exclaims, gesturing to the whole of the ship.

"And please Captain, enough with the lies. Bluffing will get you nowhere."

Jim smiles and relaxes back down into his chair, "Alright, the Klingon Ambassadors said that you were acting alone. Are they correct?"

Toq nods his head, "That is correct."

"Why?"

"Didn't your Vulcan friend already explain why?" Toq questions and Jim continues to glare at him.

Toq groans, "Very well, I guess you will hear it again. One year ago, two new flagships were released and were scheduled for inspections before duty. I so happened to see one of those ships."

"What was the ship's name?"

"Du'Ralle."

"Alright, continue." Jim demands, leaning back in the chair.

Toq huffs at him, blowing a long exhale before starting up on his explanation, "As I was saying. I so happened to see one of those ships, the one I saw was the Du'Ralle. And at that time there was a very high price on your pretty blond head and the price was even better if you were brought back alive."

"Kidnapping me would start an all out war." Jim points out.

"Not if you were to cross into the Neutral Zone, that means you violated the treaty and now we have all rights to arrest you." Toq grins devilishly.

"Why are you being so truthful all of sudden?"

"So I can earn your trust."

"And why would you need that? Because the only thing you've earned yourself is lifetime in prison." The blond growls defensively and the General's smile grows wider.

"Because I know something you don't and when I say it I want you to believe me." Toq enlightens deviously and Jim's gaze narrows in suspicion.

"If you really want to earn my trust, tell me who the mole is." Jim argues sternly.

"Oh don't worry about the mole Captain, I've already dealt with it, actually you watched it happen." Toq snorts and Jim's face falls.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember when I had you chained on the Bridge?" Toq asks and Jim's entire frame shudders at the memories he has been keeping at bay.

"Yes." He states firmly.

"Well Ensign Laura was my inside man. I couldn't have her talking later on just in case, so I had her brought to the Bridge and I killed her right before your eyes." The General smirks at the memories and turns his gaze on the human.

Jim licks his lips, desperately trying to keep his hands from trembling, "You're lying."

"Captain, I am not lying, so far everything I have said is true."

"Yeah and I'm still trying to figure out why that is so." Jim grumbles, spinning the mug in his hands.

Toq watches the mug twirl, seeing as Jim's hands expertly grasp the edges of the cup and spin it around on the smooth surface of the metal table. Obviously the Captain has done this many times before.

"Captain, there is no point for me to lie, as you said before: the only thing I've earned is lifetime in prison." The General remarks, shrugging slightly.

Jim stops the cup in mid spin and brings his eyes upon the General's yellow ones, "Then what do you expect to earn from being truthful?"

"My freedom."

Jim scoffs, "You wish."

"Captain trust me, I know something that you value deep down and I can give it to you." Toq promises with a grin.

The blond shakes his head, "You have nothing to offer that is worth your freedom. You destroyed most of my ship, you've harmed my crew, and you hurt my best friend so how dare you say you have something to offer me."

"Captain, please calm yourself." The General cautions.

"No General. Tell me something. Who else is involved, anybody from the Federation Council?" Jim fumes, gripping the mug tightly.

"No, Captain, listen to me." Toq prompts, but Jim just chuckles.

"No, answer the question damn it."

"Very well. No, no one from the Council was involved." Toq confesses and the blond smiles.

"There, see it wasn't that hard." Jim muses, releasing the mug from his grasp.

"Now Captain, are you ready to hear what I have to offer?"

The Captain rolls his eyes, "General, there is nothing I am willing to trade in for your freedom. Nothing you know will set you free. Nothing." He retorts.

"But Captain, I can take you to Kodos."

Jim freezes, his heart pounding in his chest. Kodos, no this can't be real. Toq didn't just say that. There's no way.

He gets to his feet and takes a few steps away, bringing his communicator out shakily.

"Spock, cut the feed from the General's cell." He commands sharply.

"But Captain, that is against regulation-" Spock starts.

"Just do it. That's an order."

Spock almost sighs, "Very well Captain."

There's a moment's pause before Spock comes back on, "The order is complete. Captain may I ask-"

"No Spock you may not. Now keep radio silence. I'll comm you when I'm finished." Jim interrupts and puts his communicator away.

"It seems I have struck a chord." Toq comments as Jim seats himself back down with a glare.

"Kodos is dead so I don't see what you have to earn by saying such nonsense." Jim notes as he shifts in the chair.

Toq just smirks at him, "But Captain, Kodos is alive and I can take you to him."

"He's dead."

"And how do you know that for certain? His body was never identified." Toq urges and Jim finally begins to ponder the truth in his words.

Can Kodos really be alive? If so, should he agree to General Toq?

"General I don't know what you have to earn by spewing such lies but even if Kodos is somehow alive, I wouldn't bargain for your freedom. You're getting locked away whether you like it or not so get used to the feeling because it seems like to me you're going to spend the rest of your miserable life rotting in a hellhole." Jim growls and gathers to his feet.

"Captain, when it happened you must've only been a small boy on Tarsus IV, correct? Then Kodos the Executioner came didn't he? He killed thousands and very few made it away. Tell me Captain, how does it feel to be one of the few survivors of a massacre that large?" Toq speculates.

The blond is frozen, his back turned to the General, not wanting to face him.

"You must've done some nasty things to survive. Maybe you even turned to cannibalism to live. Probably killed people, fought for your life, saw your family, friends murdered before your eyes. Tell me, have you ever met Kodos face to face? Did you ever catch the reek of death on you?" The General continues and Jim grinds his teeth.

"Captain, I can take you to him. You can finally get the revenge you want, the revenge you deserve. All you have to do is promise me my freedom and I can take you to him." Toq insists but Jim begins to shake his head.

"This interrogation is over."

Toq just chuckles loudly as he watches the Captain head for the door, the mug firmly within his grasp.

"Alright, but when you do want the taste of sweet revenge, you know where to find me." Toq calls out as Jim opens the door and slams it shut, leaving him to be consumed in silence.

Jim takes in a shaky breath and brushes past the guards, including Spock whose gaze follows him down the corridor. But the Vulcan makes no attempt to reach out to him; he has a more logical solution.

The blond keeps a steady pace all the way to his room. He punches in the code and watches the door slide back to reveal his quarters. The Captain sighs and walks inside, closing the door and locking it before diving into his bed with no sheets.

He takes a glance at the mug in his hands and chucks it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces across the floor. His life and the mug have so much in common, they should hangout sometime.

He curls in around himself, pulling his hood over his head and finally letting the held back tears slip by.

Kodos can't be alive, he's dead, he's been dead for years. But he can't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, General Toq is telling the truth. And if Toq is telling the truth, doesn't he have the right to kill Kodos? For all of those people who died on Tarsus IV at the hands of the Executioner. Didn't he deserve closure?

Jim wipes at the pooling tears, stifling a sob.

General Toq must be lying. The damn Klingon is playing him. Obviously somehow the General has gained information from his past and brought it back up to break him. Toq's still trying to win. That's it. The Klingon is lying; he's just trying to get to him, trying to keep the odds in his favor. But he can't allow that, no he must put the General away, forever. It's for the best.

But just…what if?

The Klingon never lied during the interrogation, so why would he lie about Kodos? But then again he could just be trying to earn his trust. Toq seemed to be telling the truth for the most part. He believes his story of why he wanted to kidnap him, but he's not so sure on the mole part about Ensign Laura. It made since why he would want to kill her, if it were true, but the Klingon could also be lying to him and somewhere aboard the Enterprise is the traitor, lurking in the shadows waiting for new orders.

But then there's Kodos. Toq was right, they never found the body, but then again there were thousands of dead people. The Executioner's body could've been overlooked, especially since only few people could identify him after the massacre. So few actually saw the man's face up close. One of those people being himself, but he'd never admit that to people. His crew doesn't need to know that side of him, nobody should and he'd like to keep it that way.

Jim whimpers softly, burying his face into his arms, hoping the anguish will subside, but he can't keep his emotions at bay, especially when he's alone.

Alone, something that he'll always have to deal with because he can't afford to let anyone inside. Because if he does he fears that they'll leave, leave him forever because he's so messed up inside, he's beyond repair.

But there is one person who does know some of his dark secrets. Someone who has caught glimpses of the real Jim Kirk, the Jim Kirk that's shy and afraid. And it doesn't surprise him when he hears that exact person banging on his door, calling out his name.

"Goddamn it Jim, fine I'll put in my medical override." Bones grumbles and punches it in.

The door swooshes open and the musky smell of Jim's quarters hit Bones' nostrils. The Doctor wrinkles his nose and closes the door behind himself, locking it.

"Hey Jim." Bones greets him softly, noticing the curled up figure in the middle of the bed.

The body tenses at his presence but makes no effort to get rid of him. That's one plus to the situation. Sometimes the kid literally shoves him out of the room, but seeing that he's still standing in the dark room shows that Jim wants him to pry at him and figure out what's wrong. The kid knows what best for himself and apparently Jim thinks he needs someone to talk to.

Bones doesn't blame him because the way Spock described it, it sounds like the kid stormed out of that cell and beforehand he had requested for the live feed to be shut down so nobody knows what took place in that holding cell, which only causes the Doctor more worry. It was that bad that Jim didn't want anybody else to know.

The Doctor sighs, he's tired, worn out and he's pretty sure he's overdue for a good old eight hour nap, but he pushes the feeling aside because if there's one thing that's more important than taking naps, it's Jim.

"Jim, what's wrong?" Bones asks as he seats himself down on the bed.

Jim just whimpers, his hoodie pulled tightly around his head and his face buried into his sleeves. Bones rolls his eyes, he's seen this before. Usually when the kid is stuck between some hard decisions this blob of self pity comes out and mopes around until the ordeal is sorted through.

"Kid, look you gotta say something, I'm a Doctor not a mind reader." Bones grumbles, prodding at the sulky blond.

The Doctor lets a few moments slip by until the saddened blond finally lifts his head from his arms and brings himself into a sitting position. Bones studies him, his face is noticeably greenish and his eyes red from crying.

Bones swallows, the kid looks like he's going to throw up. So this can't be just self pity going on here, something's bothering the kid. Something bad has come up.

"What happened in there?" The brunette questions, watching as the blue eyes fill with tears but doesn't let one fall.

Jim keeps his head down, placing his arms around his legs and bringing his chin on his knees. Bones stares at him blankly, waiting for his desperate reply. The Doctor knows the blond will speak when he's ready, but it's the silence between the words that kills him the most. Just watching Jim struggle in pain kills him from the inside out.

The blond sighs suddenly, making the brown eyes settle back on him.

Here it goes.

Oh, never mind, he's crying now.

"It's alright Jim. Just spit it out." Bones reassures, reaching a hand out, but Jim shies away from his touch.

"Damn it Bones." Jim moans helplessly, wiping the tears away and trying not to choke up on the sobs leaving his chest.

"There's only so much I can do Jim. I can't just figure out what's wrong on my own. You gotta tell me something." Bones points out sharply and wishes he had said it nicer because Jim flinches from his voice.

But the sobs come under control and the stifling dies down.

"General Toq he-he talked about Tarsus-Bones he knew. He knew everything." Jim stammers and Bones heart hits the floor.

If this is about Tarsus IV then nothing good will come of it. Anything about that topic always leaves Jim a crying mess and usually covered in alcohol and vomit. And it's actually surprising how well Jim is keeping it together, but then again the kid compartmentalizes everything, which isn't the healthiest way to deal with emotions.

"What did he say about it? What did he know?" Bones questions, gaze narrowing.

He almost wants the kid to cry because if Jim doesn't cry now, he'll surely hold it all in, then in some random moment the kid will lose it right then and there. Better now than never.

"He-he knew about Kodos and he…" Jim trails off, struggling to keep it together, the tears are threatening to spill once more.

Bones grinds his teeth, "What else did he mention Jim?"

"He asked me questions of what it was like…" The blond breathes, clutching the mattress, knuckles turning white.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Bones implores but Jim shakes his head.

"No." He murmurs quietly.

Bones sighs, "Then what is?"

"He says he can take me to Kodos if I agree to set him free." Jim replies plainly.

The blond seems to hold it together, but then it all falls apart within the next moment, "And-and I really want to believe he's lying-but I don't think he is Bones and-and I blame myself for even considering the option. I-I can't agree to do it Bones, that bastard deserves to be put behind bars. He hurt you Bones and he hurt the crew. But I can't stop the feeling that just maybe he's right and if there's even a slight possibility that Kodos is alive I must kill him."

Jim's voice cracks and he has to choke the words out in the end and Bones' entire world seems to fall apart as well. All Jim wants is justice, is that too much to ask for? But now he's torn between two options, go after Kodos and set General Toq free, or rightfully put General Toq onto trial but have the slight possibility of Kodos running free.

Bones sees why the kid is so broken.

"And I keep thinking about it and…" Jim continues hoarsely, but his voice dies completely and he starts to sob once again.

It takes Bones no longer than a second to grab Jim, maybe even a little forcefully, and pull the kid into his lap.

"Bones." The kid whimpers pathetically and grips fistfuls of his regulation blue and cries full heartedly onto his chest.

"It's alright kid." Bones exhales, placing his arms around Jim, one hand in the kid's golden hair, stroking it gently in attempt to calm him.

Jim doesn't make an effort to speak anymore; he simply lets his tears soak into Bones' uniform, knowing that the Doctor won't judge him for it.

Bones glances down at the head full of hair. They've come so far together and he's seen this not to many times, but enough to become familiar with Jim's habits and especially what's best for the kid, even if Jim doesn't know it at the time.

The Doctor keeps a tight grip on the kid, almost afraid to lose the kid in all the tears and pain. He keeps the blond there until the sobs turn into hiccups and there's only silent tears streaming down his face.

"It's alright Jim, we're gonna handle this, together." Bones states strongly, and Jim brings his sweaty head up from his chest, peering into Bones' eyes almost fearfully.

Bones doesn't like the way Jim holds himself. The kid always blames himself and his self-esteem hits rock bottom way too many times for his liking.

"Thanks Bones." Jim mumbles.

And there it is, the smile that curves up on his pink lips. The smile that's gotten that kid into so much trouble, but it's also the same smile that brightens Bones' day, so he grins back and welcomes Jim into his embrace once again when the kid snuggles right back where he wants to be. He allows it, hell he prefers it.

Jim's been through a lot lately so at the very least the kid deserves some comfort. So Bones will be here for him, as long as it takes. Well, until duty calls that it is.

 **Author's Note: Dear lord that was a long chapter lol. I hope yall have enjoyed it and I hope that the conversation between Jim and Toq cleared some things up for ya. And I'd like to thank all of yall for the over ten thousand views! That's insane, this is my highest grossing book so far and its 143 pages long so congrats on wasting your summer reading my story so far lol. And thanks yall for the 20 reviews, 30 favs, and a total of 65 follows! That's crazy, and it wouldn't be possible without all of yall. So thanks for making this truly grand and stay tuned for the next chapter. I've been debating should I make a second book or simply continue on with the same book? Because it seems like our pals are about to have another adventure. So should I make another book or wha? Idek, I might have to change the description though if I continue on lol. Well thanks yall for being the best peoples ever. Live Long and Prosper, unless you wanna live hard and die young, than go ahead and do that, Spock wouldn't approve of that though.**


	16. Breathe Into Me

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 16: 'Breathe Into Me'** _ **RED**_

He groans and shifts his position, tightening his grip on the blue uniform in his hands.

Hold up.

Blue uniform? Since when did he, Jim Kirk, have a blue uniform?

Shit.

Jim opens his eyes all the way, welcoming the sight of the snoring Doctor of which he lies on top of.

Oh god what happened? They didn't do the thing…did they? No, he wasn't drunk, neither was Bones.

He blinks hazily, clearing his vision.

Yup, that's Bones, no doubt about it. But what's the Doctor doing here? And what time is it?

The blond glances at the clock, it's in the middle of the afternoon, more towards dinner time. He grunts to himself, wiping the drool off of his chin.

Wait, there was crying. He was crying. And Bones was there.

He sighs hoarsely, his throat obviously sore from sobbing. God he feels like an idiot. All because he let General Toq get into his head, if he had just held his sorry shit together, none of this would have happened.

But at least he has Bones right?

Oh wait. Wrong. Bones wants to leave the Enterprise and he's not quite sure how the Doctor's going to take it when he tells him he wants to stay. Maybe they have to head their separate ways now…nahh that sounds like shit. He'll figure it out later.

The blond sighs again and rests his head back down, listening to Bones' heartbeat. The Doctor is propped up into a sitting position, his arms still wrapped around Jim's body. The blue eyes close once more, sinking into Bones' embrace.

"Thanks Bones…" He mumbles softly, pressing his face into the regulation blue.

He wants to stay here forever. He doesn't want to leave Bones, to leave his room and face all the hardships of being Captain of a starship, to face Toq and his hoard of lies. He's had enough of it and doesn't he for once deserve a break? Doesn't he deserve some comfort in life? He's constantly having people look over his shoulder, criticizing every move he makes. Higher ups are just waiting for the day Jim Kirk screws it over so they can throw him back in the hood of Iowa where he belongs, where he truly deserves to be.

But with Bones, everything, every ache, every feeling, every broken heart to mind crippling fears seem to dissolve into nothingness. Like as if within the Doctor's presence there is no need to worry, that everything's going to be alright, but then reality knocks on the door. Reality sucks away the warm feeling Bones gives him within his chest, reality is when he's fine made it to the top of the hill only to see mountains ahead and valley below him. Real life takes away all the good things and replaces it with the bad.

But at the end of the day, reality, not fantasy or some form of imagination, drives him out of bed in the morning. It's what keeps him going when he has nothing left to hold on to. It gives him that extra boost of energy to climb that last step and conquer whatever foe stands before him. Without reality nothing would put him into place, to keep him in line. So maybe Bones isn't the best influence in the world, but he certainly isn't the worst.

Bones carries about an atmosphere that draws him in close. It relaxes him and sometimes that's what he needs. He doesn't need fantasy worlds to bring about comfort, he just needs Bones. And even though sometimes the Doctor seems to push reality out the door, but it's only briefly because as soon as he gets up and wipes the drool from his lips he'll walk out that door and perform whatever his job of being Captain requires him to do.

It isn't some game, this is life so he can either live it, or he can stay in his dark room with Bones until the Doctor has had enough of his sorry ass. Everybody expects him to walk through that door and be the perfect Captain that the Enterprise deserves him to be. But if he's honest with himself, there's no way he can be perfect. He, Jim Kirk, screws up every day and even though the higher ups try to nail him for it, he has an amazing crew and great friends to back him up. And there's no other way he would want it.

"Hey kid, you awake?" Bones groans, shifting his weight and gripping onto Jim's black academy hoodie.

Jim doesn't reply but simply nods his head, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily before opening them to see Bones gazing down at him with gentle smile.

"How are you feeling Jim?" The Doctor questions, bringing a hand up to the golden hairs on the back of the younger man's head.

Jim grumbles, "Tired."

"Well we took a three hour nap." Bones comments, stroking the hairs back, feeling the slightly tense body relax and sink in.

"Yeah that means I'm well overdue for another meal." The blond mutters, bringing his arms around Bones.

Bones rolls his eyes and slowly begins to pry Jim's arms off of him, "C'mon, let's go grab something to eat."

"Fine." Jim moans and sits up, rubbing the sleep from his blue eyes before fully climbing off of Bones lap.

The Doctor chuckles lightly and shakes his head before gathering to his feet, arching his back in a long refreshing stretch. Jim just yawns and gives a startling sneeze. Bones looks his way but the blond just shrugs carelessly and heads for the door. The brunette smiles and follows him out.

Jim glances at his best friend, offering a reassuring smirk, but Bones' mind seems elsewhere as the Doctor walks beside him in a trance of some sort.

"What should I do Bones?" Jim asks suddenly, catching the older man's attention.

Bones looks at him, his gaze empty, "About what?"

Jim huffs, "Toq."

"Oh-oh yeah…" Bones murmurs and drifts off.

"Well?" The blond prompts after a moment's silence has washed over the pair.

"Jim, we should listen to the Council. If you broke regulation the Enterprise can be taken away from you." The Doctor points out and Jim sighs.

"Well it won't matter much anyways." Jim mumbles, his voice low and gruff.

Bones' eyes penetrate his skull, "Why won't it matter?"

Jim looks at Bones, pure confusion written across his face. Didn't the Doctor want to leave? And he did agree to go with him. So why is the Doctor playing stupid? Of course the Enterprise won't matter if he's going to leave it behind anyways. He might as well go after Kodos and drag General Toq with him.

"Captain Kirk, Doctor McCoy." Spock suddenly enters, giving a bow to each of them.

Bones offers a sheepish smile, "Mister Spock."

"I am assuming you are well rested now?" Spock asks kindly and Bones gives Jim a glare, "Yes, we're both fine. Is there something we can help you with Mister Spock?" Bones questions and Spock nods.

"Yes, I'd like to be informed about the details concerning the Captain's interrogation with General Toq. I have already reviewed the recording, but I'd like to discuss it personally with both of you." Spock explains.

"Yes, of course Mister Spock. But first Jim and I need to eat something." Bones replies and Spock nods his head, "Of course, just contact me when you are properly prepared."

"Yup." Bones chirps then steers Jim away.

Jim remains silent, his head hanging, brain wracking.

"You're awfully quiet." Bones comments as he guides him to the lunch room.

"Just thinking." Jim sighs, scratching at the back of his head.

Bones casts him a glance, "That's never good."

"Oh shut up."

The Doctor chuckles and takes him inside and they both grab a plate full of chicken and mashed potatoes. Bones just grunts as the disgustful food as they both plop down, side by side.

"Why the hell is it always damn mashed potatoes? Do they ever think we might just be tired of this horseshit?" Bones complains, splattering the contents across his plate purposefully.

Jim rolls his eyes, "Then stop ordering it Bones."

"But I want the chicken that comes with it." The brunette mutters and shoves a mouthful of meat into his mouth and chews.

"Oh my god." Jim whispers hoarsely, burying his head into the croak of his arm.

"What's wrong with you?" Bones prods, flinging some gooey grinded potatoes at the blond's head.

"Cut it out Bones." Jim growls warningly, wiping the disgraceful gunk from the side of his head.

"Jeez, thought you'd wake up in a good mood. Guess I was wrong about that." The Doctor notes as he shoves more food into his gullet and stares at Jim with hawk eyes.

The blond meets the intense stare, wondering what has turned his mood so sour. Bones is right, why is he being so moody? He shouldn't be the one complaining, Bones has been here for him this whole time. Bones has never disappointed him. And how does he repay the Doctor? By being a moody bitch.

"Sorry Bones…it's just…" Jim trails off, eyes downcast.

Bones waits patiently, the silence killing him as he waits for Jim to find his voice once more. He watches as Jim's baby blue eyes scramble through the room, giving each person a quick glance before moving to the next object. The Doctor can see Jim's knuckles turn white as he clutches the edge of the table as the situation weighs down upon his shoulders.

Finally the blond gazes his way, blinking several times to clear his vision, "Bones, I have to go after Kodos."

Bones heart hits the floor, his breathing slightly hitches and he swallows down his food before he chokes on it.

"Jim, no." He states, hands clenching into fists.

"No Bones. I'm going after him, even if it costs me my career." Jim declares firmly and bites into the chicken after a moment.

The Doctor studies him and shakes his head, "You can't, that's preposterous."

"Bones if there's even the slightest chance that Kodos is alive I have to go after him. I'll take Toq with me and we'll go alone. I'll leave you and Spock in charge." Jim sighs, taking another bite.

Bones drums his fingers against the table, "No Jim, I won't allow it. And neither will Spock once I tell him about this."

Jim's face lights up with horror, "Bones don't tell Spock-please don't tell Spock."

He chews his lips, searching Jim's suddenly frightened face, "Why are you so scared of Spock?"

"I'm not scared of Spock-it's just that Spock will report it to the Admiralty and then I'm really screwed." Jim explains hurriedly and Bones nods his head.

"Makes sense. That Vulcan bastard doesn't lie, even when it comes to saving a friend's ass." Bones grounds out and his eyes become distant, but slowly pull back to Jim's paled face.

"But it's still a no-Jim you can't really be thinking about this! The Klingon bastard is just trying to get into your head damn it and you're letting him win!" The Doctor exclaims, but it's all in worry of Jim.

The blond looks at him, his face dropping, "Bones, I don't think I can do this anymore…you're right, we do need to leave."

"You can't do what anymore Jim?" The brunette questions and Jim lets out a haggard sigh.

"Be Captain."

"Jim. You can't be serious." Bones gasps, dropping his fork full of chicken.

"Bones you said it yourself-we just need to leave this hellhole." Jim replies hopelessly and Bones shakes his head, rubbing his sore eyes.

"Jim. I meant go on shore leave. Not leave permanently." Bones grounds out sharply and Jim's head lifts up and he stares into his friend's endless eyes.

The blond's mouth hangs open and his baby blue eyes once again fill with tears, "I thought-"

"You thought wrong."

"Excuse me." Jim mumbles breathlessly and leaves the table, forgetting his plate of half eaten food.

Bones stares after him briefly before hopping to his feet to track the blond down before he finds a hiding place.

"Jim! Wait!" He calls out, also deserting his food, "Jim please can we just talk about this? Just be rational Jim."

"Shit Bones-shit. I've been trying to be rational this whole week! And I thought…" Jim growls, turning to face the Doctor as a hand slaps down onto his shoulder, "…and I thought you wanted to leave so I thought it'd be best…Bones I want to leave."

"Jim you can't."

"Why the hell not?" Jim snaps, gripping Bones' blue uniform in his hands.

Bones looks at the firm hand before prying it off of himself, "Because Jim, we need you to be our Captain. These people need you to be their Captain-and I need you to be my friend. Jim I can't stay out here without you. If you leave I'm coming with you."

Jim sighs hoarsely, "I'm sorry Bones but this time you can't come."

"Damn it man be sensible!" Bones rages, following the reckless blond as he continues down the corridor.

"I'm going after Kodos and that's final." Jim grounds out and Bones shakes his head, "Unbelievable."

"God Bones, please just let me do this."

"Why? So you can get revenge for the thousands that died on Tarsus? That's not going to bring them back and that's not going to fix what happened to you." Bones shouts, gripping Jim by the shoulder and turning him around sharply.

The blond's eyes instantly flicker with pain at the mention of Tarsus, "Yes Bones-because they deserve closure."

"You mean you deserve closure? Damn it Jim you can't throw your life away for some damned goose chase! Tarsus is over Jim and you need to get passed it."

"Bones this is serious…and I can never get passed it, that's why I have to do this. If Toq is telling the truth than I have to find him Bones. I have to and there's nothing you can do or say that'll change my mind." Jim informs him, shoving Bones' arm away from him.

"Jim this is stupid and reckless. You're going to get yourself killed all for nothing."

"It won't be for nothing Bones, it won't be in vain. I have to kill Kodos Bones and you need to understand that." Jim tells Bones, but the Doctor shakes his head at the blond.

"No Jim. Kodos is dead and all this Tarsus horseshit needs to stop. You wouldn't be doing it for them you'd be doing it for yourself! Ya'know why?"

Jim's eyes go downcast welling with tears, not meeting Bones dark eyes.

"Because you're a selfish asshole. You always have been, since the day I met you." Bones says, ignoring the pain flashing across the blond's features.

"Bones that doesn't change anything. That's just your own damn opinion."

The Doctor glares him down, "Jim, I'm asking you to look at this from my point of view."

There's a pause.

"I'm listening."

"Look, here we are, we have General Toq and all his Klingon men. The Enterprise will be up and running in a couple of weeks and we'll be heading back home. Then Toq says that he'll take you to Kodos and you wonder how he knows about that messed up shit? It's because he's had control of all the damn files onboard the Enterprise…Jim he's getting into your head." Bones says and he sees Jim take a sharp inhale.

"You really think so Bones?" Jim asks softly, his blue eyes still downcast.

"Yes, yes I do."

There's a long pause and Jim sighs again, shifting his feet, "I'm sorry Bones."

"Don't be. It's understandable." Bones responds, wrapping an arm around his thin shoulders, "Now please, can we finish our food? Mashed potatoes or not I'm starving!"

Jim chuckles heartily, "Yeah, we can go finish our food."

The two then walk side by side back into the cafeteria, sitting once again at their table. Jim feels a comfort wash over him as they eat beside each other. It's always good sign if one can fight with their best friend than still be friends ten seconds afterwards.

Jim may be slightly broken, but Bones is always there to breathe more life into him.

 **Author's Note: So what'd you think? I'm hoping it'll be wrapping it up in the next couple chapters, but then again I thought I'd be done after 12, but I dunno, I guess this just keeps going and going. But I will bring it into a nice and neat end because yall deserve that much after reading all this crap lol. So once again I'd like to thank all of yall for sticking around this far and stay tuned for the next chapter! Live Long and Prosper and watch Beyond!**


	17. It's Not Over Yet

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 17: 'It's Not Over Yet'** _ **for KING & COUNTRY**_

Jim can only scream inside of his mind as he explains to Spock in exact detail what had conversed inside of the cell room. He tried desperately to describe the events that transpired. The blond earn many eyebrow raises from Spock and hmmpfs from the Doctor.

And it's only now that he's drawing to a conclusion that he realizes how ridicules this all sounds. All of it on paper must sound absolutely absurd. Everything, everything from General Toq trying to gain control of Enterprise to his desire to chase Kodos with his enemy by his side.

It wouldn't surprise the blond much if they threw him into a psych ward and never spoke with him again. After everything he's been through, it's probably where he'll end up eventually. One way or the other.

He's in the middle of justifying himself that he realizes Spock and Bones' stares have greatly softened and have become somber. He doesn't like the way they look at him, like he's about to break, that he's fragile or some damsel in distress shit that he's in no mood to put up with.

Jim can't help but scoff and rolls his eyes at the pair.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jim exclaims, pounding his fist onto the table, his face contorted in frustration.

On a normal day Spock would now be backing off and the good Doctor would only serve to infuriate the blond more. But a certain stream of blood caught both of the officers' attention.

"Jim, your nose is bleeding!" Bones points out and gets up to snag a rag from Jim's bathroom, for they were in the Captain's quarters.

"The Doctor is correct. Captain have you been exposed to stress or some form of maltreatment?" Spock questions as Jim brings a finger to his bleeding nose.

It felt so unreal, the blood glistening down his upper lip and into his mouth. His blood tasted metallic and warm on his tongue. It was like in the sudden notice of the blood trickling down his lips he started to feel sick to the stomach and slightly dizzy from the commotion.

Jim's so preoccupied with his own blood in his mouth he barely notices the Doctor's presence as he begins to wipe away the crimson blood.

"Hey, Jim, you with us?" Bones voice draws his attention back.

The blond blinks several times, clearing his blurry vision. He sits up slowly and feels the cushions beneath his hands. Odd, he didn't recall being placed onto his couch. Bones seems to read his mind.

"You nearly passed out." The older man explains, taking Jim's hands and wiping the blood from them.

"Yeah what happened?" Jim grunts, still slightly stunned and confused.

"It appears that you have succumbed to a nosebleed." Spock replies, taking a firm stance beside Bones.

The Doctor nods his head in agreement, "Caused by stress. Do you have any other symptoms? Like dizziness, vomiting, headaches, maybe a migraine?"

"Bones…" Jim mutters, grinding his teeth.

"Yeah?"

"I might throw up on you."

"Shit."

The blond begins to keel over, but swiftly two pairs of arms snatch either side of him and drag him to the toilet and there he lets his stomach heave its contents out. Bones can only grimace and stroke the blond hair back reassuringly.

"Fascinating."

"What, never seen a human puke before Mister Spock?" Bones inquires, crouching down to look at Jim's exhausted expression.

The blond's eyes are squeezed shut and his breaths are sharp and painful.

"I have seen humans vomit many times before Doctor McCoy, it is not that I find fascinating." Spock responds rather calmly.

"Well then, spit it out Spock." The brunette grumbles, bringing a tricorder out over Jim's trembling body.

"Usually when humans 'vomit' the contents that leave their bodies normally contain indications of their previous meals. The Captain appears not to have thrown up any of his dinner, which he ate merely hours ago." The Vulcan states and Bones peers at the puke in the toilet then settles his glare back at a grinning blond.

"Damn it Jim, why didn't you eat your dinner?"

"I played with it and pretended to eat it. Almost got away with it too." Jim mumbles and releases a disfigured grunt when a wave of nausea washes over him.

Bones wraps an arm around Jim as he vomits again and releases a pathetic whimper before almost slumping over. The Doctor steadies him and takes a glance up at Spock.

"Alright, c'mon, let's get you to Sickbay." Bones declares and brings Jim onto his feet.

Instantly the Captain wavers and he throws up again, luckily Bones was quickly able to shove Jim's head back over the toilet before his stomach contents hit the floor. Once done he sighs shakily and stands straight, his head spinning slightly.

"Maybe the Captain would be more comfortable staying in his quarters?" Spock prompts, giving his commanding officer a look then back to the insufferable Doctor.

"…please Bones?" Jim murmurs, giving the poor man the puppy eyes which he knows very well he can't deny.

Bones glares at him, "Fine, but don't make me regret it."

Jim smiles that smile and exhales through his nostrils as both Bones and Spock help him over to his bed and let him lie down. He hadn't realized how tired he had become, just from a simple nosebleed and induced vomiting, all caused by him stressing out. Jeez, he needs to stop stressing out then.

"I feel dizzy." He mumbles hazily and he feels Bones hands on him once more, "Alright, sit up for me Jim."

Bones helps him up and cushions him with pillows, "Bring your legs up…" He commands, grabbing each leg individually and planting it firmly upright, "…now put your head between your knees. There you go."

Jim feels the gentle hand stroke his hair as he keeps his head ducked between his shaky knees. Slowly his eyes droop shut and he loses track of time, letting the anguish wash over him.

"Hey Jim, before you fall asleep…" Bones starts, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Jim opens his eyes, he's lying, facing up at the ceiling. He takes a quick survey of the room, it's completely still and the lights have been dimmed, Bones reads his mind once more, "You dozed off there for forty minutes or so."

The blond nods his head and then brings his eyes up to Bones attentively.

"Spock and I have firmly agreed not to allow you access to General Toq's cell. You would need permission from either one of us to gain rights to Toq-now hold up!" Bones tenses and shoves him back down as he immediately begins to get up.

"Just, hear me out okay?"

Jim nods.

"Okay, good. God Jim, sometimes." Bones drawls and sighs heavily, the weight of Jim's care bearing down on his shoulders.

The Doctor glances over and can't help but look into those gleaming blue eyes, wondering how such innocent eyes have seen so much pain and despair in one lifetime. It isn't fair.

"Jim, Spock and I have reason to believe that General Toq is simply toying with you, we've already discussed ways to proceed to the closest Starbase and the precautions we'll have to take with knowing that there is a traitor onboard-and yes I remember what you said about Ensign Laura but we can't be for sure until we get a security check on everyone onboard once we get to the base. Look, I know it's a lot to take in right now, and sometimes it feels like you're the only one who can handle this, but both Spock and I are here for you and don't take that for granted okay? Jim we're always here for you, don't forget that."

There's a sigh, its exasperated and drawn, "How hard was it for you to say that?" Jim smirks and Bones smacks his head.

"Shut up asshole."

"Bastard."

Another smack. But it's futile because the blond snickers.

"Did it hurt? Do you need some ice?" Jim inclines and Bones rolls his eyes, "You're unbelievable."

Jim chuckles and lets his body sink back down onto the mattress. Bones just smiles and pats his shoulder.

"Look, just let us handle things until we get back to the Starbase? From there I promise we'll get it all sorted out-and hell if Kodos is really out there, we'll get him." Bones declares before hopping to his feet and heading for the door.

"Wait, Bones."

"Yeah Jim?" Bones questions, turning back around to look at the pale face staring back, "Can you take me up on that offer?"

"You mean that awful offer you made me to spend the night? That one?" Bones pries, giving a glamorous smile.

"Yeah, that one." Jim replies softly, giving the Doctor his own genuine smile.

"Jim, Spock's gonna start thinking we're gay. He already has his suspicions, he asked me the other day what my preference was on fashion and if in the future I'd ever consider a three-way."

"Oh shut up! Spock wouldn't talk about that." Jim cracks a smile.

"Okay, he didn't say that, but trust me it would've been more interesting than our conversation about Etymology." Bones mutters, shaking his head at the remembrance of the discussion.

Just thinking about it bores him.

"Oh c'mon Bones, just stay, please?" Jim pleads, once again bringing out the puppy eyes.

Bones hmmpfs and rolls his eyes dramatically, "Alright but if I hear from anybody, any rumors whatsoever, that we're gay, I'm murdering you."

"That's the spirit Bones." Jim replies and taps the other side of the bed, welcoming the grumpy Doctor.

"And please don't talk much, I'm already tired."

"But I wish to hear more about Etymology." Jim goofs and earns and pillow to the face.

"It's the study of stupidity, on people like you." Bones mutters harshly and Jim's eyes widen, "Really?"

"No asshole."

"Oh." Jim murmurs, slightly disappointed.

"Etymology is the study of words. Stupidology is the study of stupidity."

"You know I never liked you." Jim whispers into the dark room.

Bones grunts, "Neither have I."

"You don't like yourself Bones? That's called low self esteem."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure Bones, just like how you didn't mean to call me stupid."

"I meant to call you that. Bitch."

"Language."

"Shut up Jim, before I punch you."

"Bones if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all."

"Damn it Jim, you're not my mother."

"No, that'd be illogical. I'm a boy. Plus you're like way older than me."

"Oh my god, okay that's it-"

"No-no-no I'm sorry Bones. Please, stay?"

"Fine, but you have to shut up."

"Okay, deal."

"Okay, good."

"…"

"Night Jim."

"Night Bones."

"What did I just say about talking?"

"Bu-"

"No, be quiet Jim, we have an agreement. It was a trick statement."

"…"

"Night Jim."

The humming of the engines washes over them, along with Bones' snores of slumber. The blond smiles, rolling over to face Bones and his sleeping face. He can't ask for better friends. Bones and Spock are more than he could ever think of, he's glad that they have his back.

No matter how much shit he gets them tangled into, their always there to pull him out, and he's very thankful for that. Half the time he has no clue why the put up with him, it's a mystery that he'll never solve. It confuses him too much to think about it.

Jim then smiles, staring at Bones with bright blue eyes.

"Night Bones." He whispers ever so gently before turning back over, shutting his eyes wearily.

And as he slowly starts to fade, letting the darkness consume his thoughts, there's a whisper, barely audible if it weren't for the stillness of the room, and Jim can't help but smile when he hears the simple phrase uttered across the blackness.

"Damn it Jim, I'm your best friend, not Spock. So you might want to say that last bit a little louder."

 **Author's Note: Okay this completes this chunk of the story. I'm planning to make a continuation of the story, but it'll take me some time to set up a plot, or I could just run with it blindly like I did with this story. And I'd like to thank all of yall for making it this far, it has truly been an honor, plus Friday the 29** **th** **will be the release of "Secretly a Child at Heart", which is another Jim and Bones pairing, there's a preview on my Bio. Oh and just a heads up, when I pick up the story I'll continue it off of this story, so it won't be a completely different book. So thanks yall for being the best and stick around for the next chapter. Live Long and Prosper, unless someone said it to you and meant f off, cos that's always a possibility.**


	18. By Your Side

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 18: 'By Your Side'** _ **Tenth Avenue North**_

14 MONTHS LATER:

Jim hazily glances up at the chains bolted to the ceiling above him, trying to recall the last time his wrists were free from them, but that lonesome memory of freedom has been long since forgotten; drowned with memories of pain and endless agony.

The cuffs are digging under his pasty white skin and the long rope burns along his arms and legs feel hot and itchy. The aching feeling is driving him to his knees, making his frame sag with each intake of insufficient breath.

He curls his nail-less fingers and toes, some appendages only bending a fraction. His muscles seem to strain with each simple movement, causing his innards to tighten into knots with hunger and dehydration. The blue eyes can barely peel open through the drowsiness and lack of energy to begin the day over again.

The blond can only scoff and roll his weary eyes at his luck. First Nero, then General Toq, then some crazed psychopath Khan, and now this shit. Honestly, he really needs a break. He died last time for crying out loud!

The Federation Captain sighs hoarsely, his throat sore from screaming tediously. He can't even hold himself up in a respectable posture as his wrists and shoulders cry to his ankles and knees to take the deadweight.

To be completely honest with himself, it really is all his fault. After the whole "Khan's Wrath" or whatever people call it nowadays, Jim earned his amazing "Five Year Mission", and yes, he was very excited about. Very much so. But in doing this, he also collected some old baggage, some he couldn't leave behind: General Toq.

This isn't the first wild goose chase he has been on, but this is first to land him in a ceil, being tortured by the one he went out to find. It didn't surprise him when General Toq tried to turn on him, but he didn't expect his rescuer to be Kodos the Executioner himself. Apparently the man feels like he has some unfinished business to tend to, that just worries Jim further.

So long story short, here he is, chained from the ceiling, awaiting his untimely death, which he's certain is soon to come.

Jim draws another uneasy breath, his lungs struggling to pull in the oxygen, doesn't help when there isn't much to begin with either. Man, this past week could've really have gone better. Really. "But a Jim Kirk will be, a Jim Kirk," as Doctor McCoy would have put it so eloquently.

"James, are you ready to begin?" Kodos announces, odd, he hadn't noticed the older man's entrance. He must be getting old as well, or it's the constant throb in the back of his skull, either way he didn't put too much thought into it.

"Thought you'd never ask darling." Jim smirks, and spits a decently sized glob of blood off to the side.

Kodos just smiles that smile and walks that walk over to him. The blond can't help but shiver as the man's fingers glide down his neck and along his spine. Feeling the Executioners chilling breath hot against his ear.

"Ever heard of personal space? Well you're in it pal, now move out because there's only room for one." Jim chirps and Kodos just laughs, causing Jim's stomach to twist at the heart wrenching sound.

"One would think after so many days they would break. But you, no you're a tough one, but everyone has a weakness Captain and yours…well isn't it quite obvious? It's your crew." Kodos snarls and traces his fingers along the blond's bare back.

"If you harm a single one of them I swear to god I'm gonna kill you." Jim growls and yanks against the restraints, but its futile, all of it is.

Kodos chuckles more and taps the blond's cheek, "Isn't that why you're here Captain? To end me?"

Jim ignores the comment, hanging his head slightly as the oxygen leaves his fatigued body.

"Just how many people did you tell? I need to know or I'll have to kill everyone aboard the Enterprise." Kodos says and gives the beaten man a glance, and continues once he sees he'll make no attempt to argue, "James, this would be much easier if you'll just cooperate. Wouldn't want to start yanking teeth. The nails were bad enough."

The Captain looks up, glaring directly at Kodos' eyes before letting his gaze drop back down to the bloodied floor, it's his blood. The Executioner just sighs and stalks off, bringing out some supplies from the back table before returning to the chained man.

"Look, I don't want to use these on you, but you're leaving me no other choice." Kodos states warningly, bringing over a very large syringe which instantly gets the blond's attention.

"You always have a choice." Jim argues firmly, but the needle only comes closer to his neck.

"Captain, tell me, who else did you tell of my existence? Who else knows?" Kodos whispers into his ear making him flinch, "Come on James, just tell me, I can't have people running around knowing of my survival. I'd be easier if everyone believed that I was indeed dead."

Jim remains silent, trying desperately to dismiss the sharp needle pointed at his throat.

"You know James, the survivors of Tarsus IV-I know, survivors? Really they make it sound like it was a massacre or something awful… But besides that, the survivors developed a nasty phobia of needles. At first I thought it was quite strange, but I've thought about it and have come to a conclusion and I want to know what you think. You see James, I have hypothesized that the nine people that were rescued were subjected to many forms of treatment at the hospital they were admitted to. Usually treatments involve needles or what not, and I assume you had many treatments after that whole ordeal yourself, correct? Tell me James, just how many needles did they poke into you? Is that why you are so frighteningly scared of these? It reminds you of the old days doesn't it?" Kodos seethes and draws himself uncomfortably close, sliding the needle along the blond's throat.

There's a moment of silence and Kodos just scoffs when he doesn't reply, "You're a real quiet one James…well, since you didn't confirm my hypothesis I'll just have to prove it by using a test subject. Oh and I'm glad you contributed yourself to science, how noble of you James."

Jim's eyes widen as the needle punctures his skin and the thick liquid is inserted into his bloodstream.

"Anytime you want this to end, just give me a holler and tell me who else knows. Other than that, good luck." Kodos smiles, patting him on the shoulder before leaving the room all together.

Jim stares after him, his vision slowly fading into the black. He forces his eyes open, trying to remain in control of the situation, but ultimately he's failing. Slowly but surely his eyes droop shut, welcoming the calm that washes over him.

But it's his seizing body twenty minutes later that wakes him.

Blue eyes fly open and instantly the fluid inside of his stomach climbs his throat and falls through his mouth onto the concrete floor. Jim's left gasping for breath, his fingers curling around the bloody chains, which are the only things keeping him upright.

His vision blurs and his brain pounds within his skull. The blond's skin begins to crawl and a constant itch develops on his arms and legs. He squirms, trying to shake the feeling, but it doesn't help. All the movement only serves to make his stomach twist in further pain.

Jim whimpers, pulling his hands against the restraints, making the sharp agony in his wrists distract his mind from the poison flowing through his bloodstream.

How he wishes Kodos will just come back and free him so he can beat him into a bloody lifeless pulp. And after that psycho bastard he's going to find General Toq's pathetic excuse of life ass and kill him on the spot.

It's the burning rage that gets him through things like this, so he lets it course through his veins now. But unfortunately that doesn't clear his symptoms, only his state of mind.

His head hangs, his blood pounding in his ears. He closes his blue eyes, his vision spinning away as his fever climbs. Soon, darkness swallows him whole and he lets it consume his thoughts, wanting to be somewhere far away, somewhere peaceful and painless.

"Jim! Oh my god-Jim!"

The loud noise brings his eyes open just a crack, but he dismisses the voice as a hallucination and closes his dull eyes once more.

"Jim if you're dead, I'm gonna murder your sorry ass." The voice growls harshly and Jim feels a presence at his side.

"C'mon, open your eyes. You're not as bad as you look. Drama Queen…now where are the damn keys? I know I put them somewhere…ah-ha."

Jim feels his ankles being freed slowly and then the person works on his wrists. As soon as the chains are off he collapses onto his rescuer, just a heap of sweat and blood.

"Damn it Jim I'm a Doctor not a bed." The southerner exclaims and gathers him into his arms, "Jeez, you're heavier than I imagined."

"Alright, c'mon Jim, let's get you out of here. This place gives me the creeps."

His limps body is then dragged across the floor and up the steps to the creaky door. The rescuer gives a huff and pushes the door open and heaves Jim through, muttering a few curses as the blond almost topples back down the stairs.

"Shit Jim, give me a hand or something."

Jim moans and attempts to open his eyes, only catching a glimpse of a ragged man before him.

"That's it Jim, c'mon open em puppy eyes for me." The voice encourages gently.

The blond whimpers and thrashes, grabbing a fistful of clothes before opening his eyes to see a scruffy looking man staring down at him.

"Bones." Jim whispers all too sweetly, a smile instantly springing onto his cut lips.

Leonard smiles back at Jim, "Jim…now please, let's get out of this hellhole."

Bones then comes to his side and pulls his arm around his shoulders. Jim just winces and grinds his teeth at the movement, but sucks it up as Bones begins to walk him through the darkened halls.

"There you go, just a little bit further Jim." Bones continues, wrapping an arm around Jim's waist as he almost stumbles over.

"Bones…I'm tired." Jim mutters, giving a wheezing cough.

The Doctor looks at him worriedly, seeing the strained expression on the blond's face, "We have to keep moving Jim, we can't stop now."

"I'm tired Bones…" Jim insists, his feet barely being lifted off of the ground in effort to move forward.

"Damn it Jim, pick up your damn feet. If we stop now we'll both get captured by Kodos." Leonard warns and this seems to get Jim moving a bit faster.

It probably wasn't the right thing to do, threatening the kid like that, but they have to make it out. McCoy doesn't have any backup, so it's just he and Jim against Kodos.

What only took minutes seemed like hours to Jim as they finally reach the outside world, leaving the haunted underground bunker behind them. The blond squints against the blinding light and welcomes the lush forest before him. Bones takes a side glance at him, wondering how far he can push the blond. Hopefully far enough.

"Alright, c'mon Jim, we still gotta get out of here." Bones informs him and yanks the blond forward, making Jim yelp in pain, but he doesn't stop to apologize.

"Bones, it hurts." Jim sniffles pathetically, his left arm gripping Bones' shoulder while the other clutching at his twisting stomach.

Leonard looks at him sympathetically, but his tone doesn't change, "I know kid, but we gotta get moving."

Jim just nods his head, taking it as a personal challenge. He can't let Bones down now, not after his friend has come so far to reach him.

Bones takes him down the hill and deeper into the forest, constantly checking over his shoulder and to his left and right. Jim picks up on his nervousness and wonders what's bothering him so much. He would ask Bones, but his breath is caught in the back of his throat, making him feel like he's choking.

The Doctor continues to lead Jim further, forcing him to keep the steady pace he has set. They can't slow down now, not until they've put some distance between them and that retched bunker.

The blond's pace doesn't slow as they continue their trek, but his breathing catches up with him and after twenty minutes or so he's wheezing for air, the pain clearly written across his paled face.

"Bones…I-can't." Jim gasps, his vision starting to spin.

Leonard looks at him then back behind them, "Just a little further Jim."

"You…said that…last time." The blond rasps, moving his right arm from his raging abdomen to Bones' torn shirt.

"Jim, we have to keep moving." Bones demands, silently wanting to wrap his best friend into a hug, to wipe the forming tears from his eyes and take away the pain growing on his brow.

Jim grips onto Leonard's shirt and straightens his posture, sucking in a trembling breath and nods his head. He wants to continue forward, he'll go wherever Bones needs him to go.

"Alright, let's keep moving."

Bones tightens his hold on the shivering blond and hauls him forward. He knows Jim needs to stop and rest, just by the way he struggles for each breath, but they need to keep moving. They have to find Spock, wherever that damned vulcan might be.

It's after ten more minutes Jim loses his footing, crashing to the ground, dragging Bones down with him. Bones grunts heavily and hefts himself from the mud and peers over at Jim. The blond is curling in around himself, gasping for air, but he only finds more unsatisfactory.

"Damn it Jim, c'mon." Bones snaps, collecting the heap of skin and bones and yanking him to his feet.

The blond releases a startling cry of pain and Bones instantly draws him back together, trying desperately to keep him upright. But he's falling apart, holding his stomach as it threatens to burst.

"C'mon Jim, you're okay, c'mon kid." The Doctor encourages, grasping his trembling hands and bringing him close, clasping a hand over his mouth, "Shh, Jim. Calm down."

The blond swallows and gives a reassuring exhale.

"Alright, that's good. Now let's keep moving." Bones prompts, letting Jim go.

Jim just nods wearily and wraps his arm back around Bones' shoulder and persists forward. Leonard's gut twists in pain and guilt. He's pushing someone further than they should ever have to be pushed, but if they don't get far enough away, Kodos will find them.

"I'm sorry Bones." Jim whispers, his head hanging as his bare feet step onto the sharp rocks beneath them.

"It's alright Jim, just don't quit on me." Leonard replies sternly, trying anxiously to ignore the blood seeping from Jim's multiple injuries.

Jim doesn't reply, he just heaves an exasperated sigh that's closer to wheeze than a breath. Bones gazes at him, wondering how his friend is even still functioning at this point. But it's one of the many mysteries of Jim Kirk. So without much further thought, he takes advantage of it and pushes Jim on, trekking through the dense forest.

They continue a little ways more, until they come across a nice hollow tree and Bones decides that's where they'll spend the night there.

"Alright, stay here while I check it out. Don't need some super monster attacking us." Bones grumbles, setting Jim down onto the forest floor before proceeding inside.

The Doctor digs out a flashlight and gives the space a quick glance. It's completely empty, no signs of life. But then again, this whole forest seems vacant, not even slimy bugs or singing birds in sight.

"Okay, we're clear." Bones announces and steps out to recollect Jim from the ground.

But even though only a few moments have only passed, the kid is already out like a light, slumped over in sleep. Leonard just scoffs and gathers his sleeping friend within his arms and carries him inside, placing him propped up against the walls of the hollow tree.

He sighs gently, quickly gazing Jim over for any injuries. Most of them are simple slices, rope burns and bruises that shouldn't be too hard to handle, but he's missing all of his nails and there's a troubling needle injection on his neck. Bones can only wonder what's being circulated through Jim's veins.

The Doctor then strips himself of his jacket and wraps it around Jim. The poor kid only has a pair of torn pants on. Once done he grabs a hold of Jim and lowers his head onto his lap, offering the kid a pillow. Jim only moans lightly, snatching a handful of Bones' shirt within his right hand instinctually.

Bones smiles down at Jim and runs his fingers through the matted blond hair. There's an excessive amount of heat radiating off of Jim's body, making the Doctor himself feel quite hot. He can only wish that he had his med kit with him, but unfortunately Spock has it, wherever that vulcan bastard so happens to be.

The two of them had beamed down onto this planet after Jim's sudden disappearance. Unluckily for them, they got swept into a nasty storm and Bones ended up losing Spock and his communicator.

The brunette huffs a sigh and shifts ever so slightly, his eyes drooping with unavoidable exhaustion. He shuts his weary eyes and lets his head lull back as the night consumes them both.

Regrettably their night only lasts about an hour, Jim's sudden surge of choking waking the Doctor from his much needed rest.

"Jim what's wrong?" Bones asks, pulling the blond upright.

The shivering blond pukes all down his chest once upright and sucks in a mighty gasp as his lungs are replenished. Bones blinks a few times, slightly stunned, before tugging Jim onto his lap, propping him up on his left knee to keep his head elevated.

"Shh, it's okay Jim." Bones murmurs, beginning to stroke the blond hair as another spasm of vomit hits Jim, the fluid leaking down onto Bones' pants.

Jim brings his knees higher up, closer to his chest and clings onto Bones' thigh desperately as his stomach does another roll. The Doctor can only hold him tight and let Jim's puke soak into his clothes without so much as a fuss.

The blond's grip on Bones tightens sharply as his body shudders and bile rises up his raw throat. He's then left to gag until the liquid leaves his mouth completely, the taste still lingering on his tongue.

He whimpers after another vomiting, sinking into Bones' lap. The Doctor glances at him, smiling warmly and keeping his hand in the feverish man's hair. Jim sighs but his breath hitches when his body convulses and he once more throws up down Leonard's leg.

"I'm sorry Bones." Jim almost sobs out, drawing in a short gasp of air.

"It's alright Jim; everything's going to be alright." Bones reassures and feels another round of puke run down his leg and soak into his sock.

Jim just whimpers in reply, his breaths becoming shallower with each passing moment. Bones sighs and draws Jim upright, letting his head slump up against his beating heart, nestled right underneath his chin.

Silence washes over them and Bones is relieved that Jim has finally stopped throwing up, but when he looks at the blond's expression, he realizes that he's holding it all back.

"Jim…" He starts softly, brushing the sweaty mess of hair back, "…it's okay, throw up all you need to. Hell, I'll just make you buy me new a shirt when we get back home."

The blond nods hazily and offers a weak smile before releasing a retching vomit down the front side of Bones' shirt. The Doctor just cringes and lets the hot liquid absorb into his shirt, eventually Jim will have nothing left to throw up anyways.

Bones wraps his arms around Jim, feeling the warm body slightly relax until another wave of queasiness washes over and he pukes all over Bones' front side again. Leonard just hushes him benevolently when choked sobs escape and rocks the fidgeting blond back and forth.

Jim quiets down slowly; puke still making its way out of his mouth and staining onto Bones' clothes. Leonard can only assume that the injection is what is causing this, or Jim has picked up some sort of alien bug, which is just as dangerous.

Soon, Jim's stomach only dry heaves, finding nothing left to throw up. Bones can only hope after this night his fever will break and he'll get better from here, but there's no way to be sure.

Leonard sighs after a long moment, seeing that Jim has finally fallen back asleep in his arms. The Doctor has a feeling that they're gonna be stranded on this planet for quite some time. It's just that deep twisted feeling in his gut.


	19. Immortal

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 19: 'Immortal'** _ **Evanescence**_

"Jim, you awake? Woah-woah-woah. You're okay Jim, it's me Bones."

Frantic eyes survey the area and he feels a gentle hand push him back down, his head landing onto a makeshift pillow of some sort.

"There you go. Jeez, almost gave me a heart attack." Leonard continues, his southern accent a very heavy drawl that he usually only gets when he's drunk, but in this case, just majorly sleep deprived.

"Where are we?" Jim asks, but his voice never comes out, only a hoarse croak that Bones gives him an eyebrow for.

"Well, you threw up like twenty times last night so that explains where your voice went."

Jim just groans at the memories and he takes a look at Bones, he's still covered in crusty vomit, and the smell just lingers off of him in waves.

Bones sees his nose wrinkle, "Hey, it's your vomit. Besides, there's a river nearby. Spock and I found it when we first came here."

"Spock?" He mouths and Bones reads his lips.

"Yeah, Spock and I got separated after a storm hit. And I lost my communicator." Bones explains and the blond nods his head tiredly.

"Look, I'm gonna finish up bandaging up your feet and then I'm going to find an easy route down to the river. Think you can handle being by yourself?" Bones questions as he wraps the torn cloth around Jim's swollen feet.

The blond just nods his head before rubbing his weary eyes with the back of his hand, which he notices that his hands have been wrapped up along with his wrists.

Bones sees Jim's expression and smirks, "I wrapped your hands, wrists, feet, and biceps. All the slices are gonna have to wait until I get you to the river; there I can wash you up. You could use a good bath you know."

Jim smiles feebly and lets out a coarse cough which only serves to worry the Doctor. But Bones makes no comment as he gets to his feet and brushes the dirt from his knees.

"Alright, I'm gonna get you back inside," Bones informs him, crouching down to scoop him from the dirt floor, "and I want you to stay there until I get back."

The blond nods his head before he's lifted onto his feet and guided back inside the claustrophobic space.

"Sorry about the smell, but I'm sure you'll live." Bones mutters as he sets Jim down and sighs.

Leonard makes sure he's all cozy and relaxed before heading out the crammed entrance, only taking one last glance, "Jim, promise me you'll be here when I get back." Bones states rather plainly, he just wants to hear the words.

"I promise." Jim replies, his voice scratchy and dry, but nonetheless it makes a smile appear on Bones' lips.

"Good, I'll be back in a bit, sit tight." Bones orders and then disappears into the morning air, leaving Jim to stare after him.

Within five minutes Jim's bored out of his mind and decides to test his legs. Slowly he sits more upright, only groaning slightly as his empty stomach twists. He lifts a shaky leg forward but as soon as he plants his foot he stumbles over, falling into the musky vomit.

"Damn it." He growls and pushes himself back up, but his arms quiver and he barely manages to sit up.

He draws in a heavy breath and climbs to his feet again, using the wall as support. Jim swallows and tries again, but finds no luck, simply plunging back down onto the dirt. Pounding a fist, the blond tries a third time. Third time is a charm, or so they say.

Jim licks his lips, pure determination written across his face. He stands up, grinning as his knees tremble.

Not so bad.

Cringing, he takes a step forward; nearly faceplanting if it weren't for the hollow tree wall. Jim smiles devilishly and takes another step, his knee wobbles slightly as he applies more pressure, but he continues forth until his leg is holding his full weight. The grin only grows wider.

Slowly he makes his way through the tight entrance and breathes in the fresh morning air. The oxygen swirls into his lungs, making him feel young once more. A gentle breeze sweeps in, stirring the dark green leaves and tossing his matted hair back. He sucks in another breath, letting it calm his mind.

He takes a step, leaving the tree's presence, but without support he plummets to the ground, landing with an 'oof'. But despite his failure, the blond grins, happy just to be outside and away from the tree. Casually, he gathers himself into a sitting position a couple of feet away from the entrance.

Jim smiles, bringing his hand across the rough grass before him, enjoying the natural environment, which doesn't happen too often, Bones would be proud.

But, like all good things, the feeling fades as the sky darkens and the first raindrop falls onto his extended hand. He freezes, examining the droplet before gazing up at the warring sky. The weather had changed so suddenly it took him by surprise.

Soon more water begins to fall, instantly soaking into his bare skin. His body shivers but he remains staring up, letting the chilling breeze crash into him.

Bones.

The good Doctor had gone to investigate the river. Jim gazes out in the direction of which Bones had left, wishing for the Doctor to appear, but he doesn't. Big surprise there. He sits there, taking in the pouring rain and raging winds.

He'll have to wait for Bones; he won't make it very far, not in his current condition.

The rain begins to come down heavier as he climbs to his feet, but he only slips in the mud and crashes back down. Cursing to himself, he shakily gathers himself and attempts to walk back to the safety of the tree. Jim only serves to stumble forward, colliding straight into the tree itself. He grins stupidly and crawls inside, welcoming the shelter gratefully, regardless of the vile odor.

Jim sits tight, gazing out into the vast forest, watching the rain fall between the cracks and the wind rip through the foliage. He would smile and enjoy himself if it weren't for the nagging feeling in the back of his mind, telling him to find his friend.

He'll admit, he fears for Bones' safety. The Doctor himself did say he and Spock got separated by a nasty storm. So what if this storm gets worse?

And just on que the lightning strikes, causing the shivering blond to squirm and maybe even let out a girlish scream that he'll never own up to. With a sigh, he pulls his arms around his knees, resting his chin on top as he stares outside.

He doesn't remain still for much longer, because as time passes, the inside of the tree begins to flood with mud and the winds start to uproot the smaller plants and trees nearby. Eyes wide, Jim fights through the thick mud and makes his way outside into the heat of the storm. Even though he's only wearing his pants, and whatever material Bones bandaged him up with, he doesn't feel the cold. He's probably too numb, which isn't a good sign, but one he'll ignore for the time being.

Chewing his lip, he leaves the tree only to faceplant into the mud. Grumbling to himself, he props himself up on his hands and scans the immediate area for something to hold him upright. But unfortunately this is reality, not some stupid movie damn it, so there isn't some convenient large branch to use as a crutch.

Screw his luck.

Breathing heavily, he gets to his shaky feet once more and stumbles in the direction of the closest tree, which he runs into head first with. Slightly dazed, he clears his vision and searches for the next tree, he'll just have to zigzag his way to the river. It's better than nothing.

He grins as he makes his way further, knowing deep down that when he does find Bones he's a dead man at best.

Jim's ten minutes in when he comes to a steep hill. He clutches the tree tightly and peers down, he could roll all the way to the bottom, but there is the possibility of further injury on his part. His mind screws over in thought as the storm rages, the wind howling in his ears and the rain pelting his face.

He'll just have to very slowly and very carefully make his way down the slippery, dangerous, life-threatening hill. What could go wrong? Like there wasn't much more to mess up anyways. Smiling, Jim lets go of the trees and takes a few shaky steps forward, planting his foot firmly on the incline of the hill.

The blond bites his lip and takes another step, but as he puts his weight down, his feet kick out from under him and he's left sliding down the slope of the hill, crashing at the bottom, covered in mud and he can only hope no blood.

He grimaces as he open his eyes and crawls forward, his vision wavering. He has to find Bones, he has to. That's the only thing keeping him going, it's the only thing that makes him take the next step, to reach his hand out and grasp onto the next tree.

Gripping a clump of grass, he forces his arms straight as his stomach strains and he vomits crimson blood. He pauses, watching the red drip from his blue lips. It's unreal. Jim licks the metallic taste off and pulls himself upright, watching the world spin. The blond quickly staggers over to the nearest tree, clinging onto it tightly.

He draws his head up and gazes out, searching for the river Bones spoke of, but it's nowhere in sight. A sharp pain erupts in his chest. He's lost Bones. The sudden realization brings him to tears. He can't lose Bones, not here, not now, not ever.

Holding back his sobs, he pushes himself on in search of Bones, afraid to shout to bring unwanted attention, even though no one, not even a vulcan can hear above the sounds of the raging storm.

Jim misses the next tree, crumbling to the ground a few feet in front of it. He looks up, tears now rolling down his deathly pale cheeks. He pants exhaustedly, his hands sinking into the sticky mud as more and more rainwater pounds on top of him.

He forms his hands into fists and yanks them free, once more getting to his feet in effort to find his best friend. Determination rises in his chest as he forces his legs to take another step, but he only falls face first after several strides.

The Federation Captain peels himself from the forest floor, blood steadily flowing from both nostrils. He sucks in a breath, calming his nerves slightly as he hops to his feet and holds onto the tree to his left. Jim grins and lets go, strolling away confidently, disregarding the warnings in his head.

But he doesn't make it much further as he tumbles down another hill and lands straight into the icy waters of the river. The blond brings his head up, spewing the cold water from his mouth for he had swallowed some on the landing. He blinks clearing his vision and looks down; the water near him is turning red. Slightly shocked he scrambles backwards to the foot of the hill and draws his hands before his eyes. The bandages on his hands have torn off, revealing the shredded skin and the pooling blood.

"Jim!" A voice cries out and the blond's head pulls up, searching for the source, "Jim oh god, Jim."

Bones' presence is then made known as the southerner crashes down beside him, wrapping his arms around his numb body.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Leonard's voice trembles as he hugs Jim, putting his face into the blond's hair, which is more brunette than anything else.

"Bones." Jim can only hoarsely sigh and if he's crying, Bones can't tell because so much water is pouring down onto their heads, it's blinding.

Bones nods his head, "That's right Jim, I'm here."

"C'mon, I found Spock." Leonard encourages, pulling the Captain up with him, but he only crumples back down, "Spock I need a hand! I found him!"

Spock then appears, sliding down the muddy slope gracefully without as much as a stumble in his stride. Leonard can only roll his eyes and gesture the vulcan over.

"Come help me Spock, we need to get Jim outta this weather." Bones shouts over the downpour as he slings Jim's left arm around his shoulder while Spock takes the other, "Certainly Doctor, I know just the place."

"Great, you lead the way."

Spock pauses, glancing at Jim then back at McCoy. The Doctor reads his mind and dread washes over his face.

"He'll make it Spock." Bones breathes, wrapping a supportive arm around Jim's trembling frame.

The vulcan just nods his head and begins to lead the way, taking them further away from the hollow tree that they had previously spent the night in. But Jim only slows the process; he's losing consciousness and its striking worry into the Doctor's heart.

Jim's face is ghostly white, his lips grayish-blue. The blond looks like death itself.

"C'mon Jim, stay awake damn it." Bones orders, stopping in stride to grip Jim by the shoulders.

The blond then clasps both hands on either side of Leonard's face, struggling to focus in on him. Bones smiles despite the chilling water running down his face and places his hands on Jim's cheeks, feeling Jim's jaw tremble slightly.

"Yeah, that's right Jim, you look at me. You keep those eyes open. Don't you dare close them." Bones demands, once again slinging an arm and Spock does the same.

"It's this way." Spock announces and starts to lead them away again.

They trek along the river's shoreline, steering clear of the sharp rocks near the edges. Jim can barely pick up his feet; his whole body has grown numb so Bones and Spock have to do most of the heavy lifting.

The group walks alongside the water for quite some time, until Spock starts to lead them off to the right, into the forest, but first they must make it up a hill. Bones can only groan as they heave Jim's trembling body up. But it's Spock who loses his footing and when it comes down to it, Jim jumps to action first, quickly snatching the vulcan's hand and digging his heels into the ground.

Spock glances up, his expression shocked at his sudden mistake. Jim grins, but it falls short as begins to lose his footing as well. Leonard instantly steadies him and takes Spock by the armpit and hauls him to his feet.

"Thank you Doctor." Spock gasps and they immediately snag Jim as he wavers on his feet.

"Don't mention it." Comes the grunt over the pounding rain and screeching wind.

They once again make their way back up the hill, Bones straining to keep Jim awake. Spock resumes guiding them deeper into the trees. Although the undergrowth is dense, the winds cut through it with ease and the waters manage to penetrate through the leaves.

Soon their coming upon what appears to a solid block of concrete, but as they round the corner, a door is revealed on the other side.

"Damn, how many bunkers are on this planet?" Leonard asks as Spock lets go of Jim and opens the door, welcoming them inside.

"I believe," Spock starts, taking Jim's shredded hand, "that this planet many years ago had a civil war, quite similar to one in your Earth's history in the nineteenth century."

The vulcan then leads them slowly down the stairs and once reaching the bottom, flipping on a light switch, which slowly flickers to life, lighting the underground bunker dimly.

"What happened to the people?" Bones questions as Spock brushes passed them to close the door at the top of the stairs.

"Either somewhere else on this planet, or perhaps died due to the war or weather."

"Great." Leonard scoffs and snatches Jim as he wobbles, "I need to get him warm. Got anything?"

"Yes, of course, this way." Spock takes the stairs two at time as he goes down and once at the bottom he grabs Jim's arm and leads the pair deeper into the dark tunnels.

"Bones…" Jim whimpers, a sniffle escaping and his teeth chattering loudly.

"It's alright Jim, we're gonna get you warmed up." The Doctor assures him and follows Spock deeper until the come across what seems to be a cell.

"In here." Spock states plainly and they pull Jim onto the hard mattress.

"Go see if you can find more blankets." Bones commands and Spock leaves with the dip of his head.

"God Jim, can't you just stay out of trouble?" Bones says rhetorically, peeling the rest of Jim's clothes off, leaving him naked.

Jim's face scrunches over as he tries not to cry and impulsively he begins to rub his shaky hands together. Bones bites his lips and grasps the blond's torn hands. Jim looks up; his usually bright blue eyes dull in color and redness seeping into the white.

"It's alright Jim, its okay." Leonard whispers, bringing him into a hug and feeling the blond's body shiver beneath his own.

The blond's arms wrap underneath his armpits, face pressing into his shoulder. The Doctor sighs, placing his own numb arms around his best friend, trying to offer some sort of comfort. The frail body jerks slightly as sobs break through the weak mental barriers. Bones hushes him and runs a hand through his hair to calm him. But they break apart as Spock's nearing footsteps reach the doorway.

"Doctor." Spock greets as he reappears inside the small room, holding several blankets and even some clothes.

Leonard smiles gratefully as he takes the items from Spock's frozen hands, "Thanks Spock, and I suggest you get some more blankets and clothes for us."

"Of course, do you acquire anything else?"

"Uhh yeah, do you have my med kit?" Bones replies, taking a glance at the vulcan, and even though he doesn't express any feelings, he can tell Spock has begun to feel quite guilty.

"Unfortunately-"

"It's alright Spock. That was a nasty storm we were caught in. Let's just focus on what's happening now shall we?"

"We shall." Spock agrees and leaves to find more blankets and clothes.

Bones sighs and turns back to Jim who has begun to weep into his raw hands. Leonard smiles at the innocence and peels away Jim's quivering hands.

"C'mon Jim, let's get you warm." Bones soothes, drying him off with one blanket then making him stand up so he can tug on some sweats and a t-shirt.

Jim nearly collapses but Bones steadies him and guides him back down onto the bed, throwing multiple blankets onto him. But the blond's face only grows paler it seems. Bones glances at Jim's wounded hands, just imaging all the germs he collecting from those unwashed blankets and clothes, but there's little he can do.

"Alright Jim, I'm gonna get cleaned up real quick, then I'll be right back okay?"

Jim's eyes crack open, "Where you go?" The blond barely gets the words through his blue lips.

"I'm gonna talk to Spock, but I promise I'll be right back to watch you sleep." Bones promises, drawing a hand across his white face before pushing back some of the blond hair.

The Captain just nods his head before shutting his eyes. Bones gives a weak smile before leaving the room to find Spock.

But as Bones disappears from sight, Jim peels his exhausted eyes open, staring after him. With a grunt he sits up, glancing about the room suspiciously. The room is dark with a dim light hanging up above and a rusted toilet in the corner.

He's in a jail cell.

His heart begins to pound in his chest. He knows it childish but just being in a cell room sends shivers down his spine. The thought of being locked up in a box frightens him.

"Bones?" He calls out weakly, but the Doctor doesn't reply.

Chewing his lip, he presses his feet onto the ground, but his body is still numb and weak from the trip out in the storm. He sighs, feeling defeated. Slowly he draws his feet back under the thin sheets Bones provided him with and he rubs his blue eyes with cold hands.

Jim coughs coarsely, "Bones?"

Suddenly footsteps approach and Bones' head appears through the doorway, the normal scowl on his brow, "Yeah Jim?"

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep…? I know that sounds stupid-"

"No-no, its fine Jim, of course I'll stay with you." Leonard sighs heavily, Jim's mental and physical responsibility once more weighing down on his shoulders.

The Doctor trots along to his side, sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

"It's been a long day." Leonard murmurs softly, grasping Jim's hand while brushing back the golden strands on his forehead.

Jim nods his head wearily, his blue eyes already slipping shut.

"Just lemme know when you're asleep, cos I don't wanna sit here forever." Bones jokes, earning a genuine smile from Jim.

"I'm asleep." Jim mumbles, not opening his eyes.

Bones snorts, "I can see that."

Leonard exhales slowly and remains at his bedside until reality finally begins to fall away and he welcomes the blackness that he succumbs to.

 _Jim's hands tremble as he lets go off the throttle and glances back at his companion. The klingon just grins and gives a nice tug on his cuffed hands. They had a rough landing due to some weather but other than that, he'd say the shuttle ride wasn't too bad, especially since this is his first time flying one singlehandedly._

 _"You're in an interesting human Kirk." Toq comments, watching the man with hawk eyes as he gathers to his feet._

 _Jim just scoffs and rubs his hands nervously together. All of this is wrong, all of this is terribly wrong. He shouldn't be here; he shouldn't have left the Enterprise. But it's too late now, he is here and he did leave the Enterprise. And it's only a matter of days before Spock and McCoy manage to confirm a black op mission to retrieve him._

 _Assuming that Spock will take full command of the Enterprise in his absence, which he will, that'll leave at least forty-eight hours for Spock to file a report against him, then for Starfleet to analyze the situation before making a complete decision, which god knows that takes a decade. Then if they do decide to go after his stubborn ass he'll hopefully at least have a two-day head start on them. Which he's positive Spock will sanction a mission to find him, especially with Bones nagging his sorry ass until they do go._

 _Overall he does feel slightly guilty for not telling them of his self-destructive plan, but they would have never have let him go if he had. He has to do this; it's just something neither Bones nor Spock would've understood._

 _The blond sighs and straightens his shaky posture before turning to General Toq, "You ready?"_

 _Toq smiles devilishly, "Of course."_

 _Jim nods his head and orders him to his feet as he opens the shuttle doors to reveal the outside world. He sighs, taking in the wondrous sight. The winds cut through the trees easily and the thick green leaves rustle._

 _"Which way is he?" Jim demands, turning to take a look at Toq who has gotten slightly closer to him._

 _"Oh Kirk, I don't know where he is." Toq chuckles and Jim instantly thrusts him up against the wall, phaser to the klingon's head._

 _"You better add a positive spin to that statement or I'm gonna send your head spinning." The Captain threatens, digging the barrel of the phaser into Toq's temple._

 _The General just smiles and snorts, "We don't find him, he finds us."_

 _Jim's face falls and for the first time since starting this idiotic mission, he feels slight panic rise in his chest._

"Jim! Jim snap out of it." Bones shakes the frantic blond awake until his eyes fly open.

The Captain immediately shoots off of the bed and tackles his offender to the ground, snatching his throat.

"…Jim…stop." Bones gasps, desperately trying to pull Jim's strong hands from his neck.

Jim takes a moment to come to, simply watching Bones struggle for his life before snagging away, releasing his deathly grip on Bones. The Doctor gives a hoarse cough and rubs his sore throat before sitting up to face Jim. The blond's eyes are wide and he seems to be in shock.

"Sorry kid, you're having some nasty lucid dreams." Bones explains and crawls up beside him.

Jim pants heavily as if he was the one choked and looks at Bones, trying to comprehend his words.

"Your fever's pretty bad. Come here, lemme check it." Bones ushers him over, but he remains frozen, staring at Bones with panicked eyes, maybe some regret.

Bones sighs and scoots closer, placing one hand underneath Jim's chin and the other hand on his burning forehead.

"You feel terrible. C'mon, let's get you back in bed."

The Doctor then gathers to his feet and grasps his bandaged hands.

"Stand up for me."

Jim looks up unsurely at Bones then back down at his legs as he draws his knees up. He licks his dry lips with new determination and grips Bones' hands tightly as he pushes up with his legs. And before he even realizes it, he's standing upright, but he quickly wobbles. Bones stabilizes him with a hand on his back and leads him into the bed.

"That's it." Bones murmurs and guides him down onto the hard mattress.

"I'm hot." Jim finally mutters plainly, feeling the sweat glisten down his body.

Leonard just smiles, "I know kid, just rest a little longer than Spock and I are gonna take you to the river to wash up."

Jim nods his head slowly and shuts his eyes, feeling Bones' hand running through his greasy hair.

"Sorry Bones." Jim mumbles, fighting to keep his eyes open.

"For what?"

"Everything."


	20. Jailbreak

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 20: 'Jailbreak' AWOLNATION**

Feverish eyes peel open to meet the dimmed room. Instantly he tries to sit up, but only earns a gut-wrenching groan and few pitiful whimpers. His head starts to spin as his stomach tightens, ready to bring more nausea onto him.

God this isn't fair.

Jim grunts again and forces his weary body upright, trying to gain some focus on his surroundings. He blinks several times clearing his vision to find a sleeping Bones slumped up against the wall. The blond rubs his blue eyes just to make sure he's seeing this correctly.

"Bones?" He mutters, his voice a low and gravely.

The Doctor begins to stir slowly until his eyes open and his gaze falls upon Jim. They remain stilled for a moment; simply staring into each other's eyes until Leonard finally scrambles to his feet, stifling a yawn as he steps forward.

"Feeling sick?" Bones questions, sitting upon the edge of the bed and placing a hand on Jim's forehead.

The blond just nods his head and leans into Bones' touch, letting the coolness seep into his skin. Bones smiles gently, but pulls away from the trembling body.

"Let's get that shirt off." Bones declares and grabs the hems of Jim's shirt and tugs it up. The blond just raises his arms and lets the Doctor yank it over his head before tossing it to the side.

Jim sighs and wipes his face with the blanket.

Leonard studies his face before snatching his nose, blocking the airway, "Bones, what are you doing?" Jim mumbles, trying to pry the Doctor's hand off his face. "Take a deep breath for me and hold it for a second." Bones explains, releasing his grasp on Jim's nose before pressing his ear to the blond's chest.

Jim rolls his eyes and inhales a shaky breath, "Okay, now out." Bones commands and Jim follows by exhaling the recycled air.

"Have you had any trouble breathing since you got onto this planet?"

 _"C'mon, move it." Jim grumbles, pushing Toq forward as he slowly strolls down the platform until his feet hit the soft grass._

 _"Now isn't this nice?" Toq comments, swiveling around to meet the infuriated blond behind him, "It's like a picnic. Now let's go."Jim orders as he closes the shuttle up and faces out towards the forest._

 _General Toq just smirks and begins the trek forward with Jim following close behind, phaser clutched in his hand. Suddenly the blond sneezes quite loudly, causing Toq to pause and stare over at him._

 _"What was that?" The General questions, eyes narrowing in suspicion._

 _Jim rolls his eyes as he sniffles, "It's called-" another sneeze hits him and he shakes his head and blinks several times, "-a sneeze."_

 _"Hmm."_

 _"Whatever. Just keep moving."_

 _The two of them then push deeper into the forest, Jim following Toq blindly into the unknown._

"Hey, Jim you okay?" Bones jostles him slightly which sends him wheeling backwards, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

Jim blinks a few times and sucks in a short gasp of breath.

"Hey. Jim." Bones snags the blond's attention back at him, "What's goin on in that head?"

The Captain sighs and draws himself back by Bones' side, "It's nothing." He whispers, his head drooping in exhaustion.

Leonard examines his features briefly, taking in the blue eyes to the glistening golden hair mopped up into a mohawk. He sighs, wrapping an overused arm around the blond's shoulder. Jim's body shudders slightly, but he sinks into the Doctor's embrace.

"Here, lemme get you some water." Bones offers, gathering to his feet to pick up a mug of water off of the floor.

He brings the cup over slowly and sits back down beside Jim.

"I'm not thirsty." Jim counters, shaking his head as Bones offers him the cup, "Jim, you gotta drink some water for me. Just a little."

The blond sighs and nods his head.

"Good." Bones breathes and gives him the mug.

Jim's shaky hands clasp around the edges as he draws the cup to his lips, tilting it back to let the cold liquid trickle down his sore throat. But he barely manages a few sips before beginning to cough. Leonard quickly snatches the cup away from him before he spills it and waits for Jim to stop coughing.

"I need you to drink more." Bones grumbles as he stares down at the contents, seeing that Jim didn't really leave a dent.

"Bones…" Jim whimpers, shaking his head.

"Jim," Bones tones in warning voice, "don't fight me on this. Drink more."

The blond exhales loudly before grasping the cup unwillingly. Slowly he takes a few more gulps of the water, but with each swallow he cringes and grabs at his stomach.

"What's hurting you Jim?" Bones questions as he takes the mug from his Captain's trembling grasp and setting it on the ground.

"My stomach." Jim moans, hunching over in attempt to ease the pain.

Bones blows a long breath, "Lie flat for me."

Jim just gives him the look, shaking his head, "Jim, lie down, how am I supposed to help if you don't listen?"

"Bones, please?" Jim chokes out, biting down on his tongue.

But Leonard isn't about to give in, "No Jim, lie down or I swear to god I'm gonna make you." He threatens. He doesn't like to, but in some cases like these, he has to, it's for Jim's own good.

Jim's lips quiver, but he seals them shut and abides by Bones' commands, lying flat on his back but his arms still wrap protectively around his raging abdomen.

Bones gives him a slight look and peels his arms away, exposing his stomach, rippling with each intake of breath. Leonard swallows and applies pressure onto Jim's left side and watching the blond's face contort with pain. The Doctor then tries the other side, earning an uncomfortable squirm from Jim attempting to ease the rising pain in his stomach.

He sighs, sitting back and letting Jim curl back up around himself.

"Well I can't really tell if it's from the lack of food, bruising, that damn injection, or hell you might've contracted the flu. I can't tell shit without my tricorder." Bones just scowls, watching Jim shiver before him.

The brunette pauses before bringing Jim onto his lap, stroking his hair as he clutches his stomach. Usually fluids are easier to hold down then solids. It can't be bruising because Jim would just feel stiff and slight pain, that shouldn't affect his stomach. But Jim's fever could've developed into flu symptoms.

 _"We'll stop here." Jim announces, collapsing onto the ground and heaving a long breath._

 _Toq remains standing, watching him with sharp eyes, "What is wrong with you?"_

 _"Well I'm sorry, some people are superhuman okay?" Jim growls, annoyed with himself for being so out of breath._

 _General Toq doesn't respond, he simply just smirks to himself and settles opposite of Jim._

 _Jim avoids eye contact with Toq, trying desperately to steady his wheezing breaths. It feels quite odd; it feels like his chest his tightened and his lungs have shrunk._

"Here, I brought you some food." Bones announces as his blue eyes peel open.

"No." Jim groans and pulls his knees up, hugging the blanket close to his sweating body.

The Doctor shakes his head in disapproval, "You need to eat something. You probably haven't eaten since you've left the ship."

The blond shakes his head, squeezing his eyes back shut.

"You're such an infant." Bones' voice rings out, sounds now becoming distant as he drifts off, but he's instantly brought back when the Doctor tilts his head up and forces a mouthful of some awful tasting shit into his mouth.

Jim tries to spit it out but Bones presses a hand over his mouth, "Swallow it Jim."

The blond shakes his head again and Bones growls, "Damn it Jim, swallow it. Don't make me do something I'm gonna regret."

But the stubborn Captain refuses, letting a hiss blow through his nose.

"Jim." Bones warns again, but he blond doesn't swallow, "Damn it." The Doctor growls and clamps his nose shut, blocking all the airways.

Jim groans pitifully and tries to push Bones off, but the Doctor is in better condition than him. So in the end, the Captain is forced to swallow whatever the hell is in his mouth.

After a few moments of swallowing Bones releases his grip and Jim lets a wheeze out followed by several cringing coughs. The brunette stares down at him guiltily but makes no comment.

"Bastard." Jim manages and they both chuckle heartily, ending with two gleaming smiles that fade all too quickly, "What the hell was that anyways?"

"You don't wanna know." Bones leaves it at that as he stands up and straightens the blankets over Jim's shivering frame.

"You just get some sleep for me okay?"

 _"Did you hear that?" Toq questions, taking a glance at the following human._

 _Jim shrugs, remaining silent as he tries to catch his breath. The damn planet is acting up his breathing somehow. The klingon just stares at him and smirks after receiving no reply._

 _"I feel like we've been going around in circles." Jim grumbles several moments later._

 _Toq dares a look at the blond, "Maybe a short break?"_

 _"Fine." Jim agrees and plops down heavily, a couple feet away from the General as he settles to the ground gracefully._

 _"So you really want to kill him that bad?" Toq implores, stretching his legs out before him, "Obviously." Jim replies sharply, keeping his gaze elsewhere._

 _Toq huffs, "Is there something I'm missing Captain?" Toq asks, making Jim look his way, "No."_

 _"But that's so hollow. Just revenge? Please Kirk; there must be more than that."_

 _Jim scratches at the growing stubble, "I'm pretty simple."_

 _"You're not that shallow Kirk. There's something more. Something's driving you."_

The blond wakes up with a gasp, instantly springing upright. His stomach immediately twists and he clutches the edge of the mattress desperately as the food Bones had forced him to eat comes flooding from his chapped lips and onto the ground.

"Captain, are you alright?" Comes Spock's apathetic tone from the corner of the room.

Jim looks up and stares right through Spock, his breathing only becoming more rapid without the Doctor.

"Bones."

"Doctor McCoy is currently not present, may I be of assistance?" Spock questions coming closer to his side.

Jim shakes his head hurriedly, "No-no-no. I want Bones. Where's Bones?" Jim pleads, trying to get to his feet, but Spock places firm hands on his shoulders, "I advise you not to move, you are in no condition to get up." Spock states, grip tightening as Jim struggles.

"Spock-please. I just want Bones." Jim's on the verge of tears as he clings onto Spock's shirt, jostling the vulcan slightly in his attempt to persuade him.

The vulcan studies him briefly before releasing his grasp on Jim's shoulders, "I will retrieve the Doctor. Stay here."

Jim then watches Spock leave. But Spock shuts the door with a loud slam, causing Jim to jump from the sheets wildly. Then the lock snaps into place, causing his heart to pound in his ears.

"Spock?" Jim calls out nervously and gets to his shaky feet, feeling the world spin as he takes his first step forward.

After the third successful step he rushes the rest of the way to the door and tries the handle. It doesn't budge. Panic is starting to surge through his chest as he pounds on the door with no response from Bones or Spock.

"Bones! Spock! Open the door!" He shouts, still banging his fists against the steel door, "Open the goddamn door you pointy-eared bastard!"

"Bones!" He cries out as he slumps up against the door, sobs hitting him like a train wreck.

"Jim?" Comes the anxious reply, bringing the blond's hopes back up, "Bones?"

"Jim? Jim it's okay I gotch'you." Bones reassures and suddenly Jim is no longer pounding against the door, he's wrapped up in the Doctor's arms in the creaking bed.

The blond opens his eyes, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks, Bones simply wipes them away and pulls him closer, "It's okay, you were just dreaming."

"You were gone Bones. I was alone." Jim whimpers, panic still raging through his system.

Leonard shushes him, "You're not alone Jim, nor will you ever be."

Jim nods his head and buries it into Bones' chest, trying to hide his sniffles as the nightmare dances inside his mind. Bones sighs and brings a hand to his hair, stroking gently until his eyes slip shut and darkness falls back over him.

 _"Alright, hurry up and move." Jim grumbles, shoving his unwanted companion forward in effort to make him move faster, it only seems to slow._

 _General Toq just grins; giving the blond a charming smile, if that is even possible for his kind._

 _"Ya'know at this rate, I'm better off shooting you and leaving you for dead." Jim comments as he steps over a large log, scratching his knee against the bark._

 _"You wouldn't do that Captain."_

 _The Captain snorts, "Try me."_

 _"You need me Kirk."_

 _Jim makes a face, "Do I? I mean do I really need you?"_

 _"Without me Kodos will easily overcome you. He is ten times stronger than any human."_

 _"I don't recall that."_

 _Toq pauses, staring deep into Jim's unblinking eyes, "Without me, you're as good as dead. I can get you close enough to him."_

 _"And how do you plan to do that?"_

 _"I have my ways. I did get aboard your ship did I not?" Toq replies giving a chuckle. The blond rolls his eyes, "Yeah and you're not allowed to bring that up, it's part of the agreement."_

 _"Yes of course, my apologies Captain Kirk." Toq responds rather quickly, ducking under a branch which Jim can just walk underneath._

 _"Ya'know for a klingon-"_

 _Toq scoffs._

 _"-you have some decent manners. I'd say they're better than Spock's if I didn't know any better."_

 _General Toq looks at him skeptically, "Why thank you."_

 _"Yup, now keep moving before my delightful mood ends and I get trigger happy."_

 _Toq nods his head and gives Jim a glare that only serves to send shivers down his spine._

Jim feels hands grabbing him and pulling back into the darkness. He fights it, trying to push and kick his way out. But as he struggles, his breathing develops into short raspy gasps.

"Jim-Jim!" Bones snaps, pinning the blond's arms down as he forces him back on the bed.

"Toq you bastard." Jim coughs hoarsely and still tries to fight, "Jim its Bones. It's Bones Jim."

Slowly the feverish blue eyes peel open and bring in the sight of the Doctor straddling him, holding his wrists down into the mattress. Jim's eyes widen and a smile plays on his lips.

"Bones." He rasps, a hint of surprise in his tone.

Leonard chuckles and gets off of the blond, settling on the edge of the bed, "How's your stomach?" At the mention of it, Jim instinctively wraps his arms around it, "It hurts a lot."

Bones sighs, for Jim to admit that, means it's probably something serious, "Alright, lemme check it."

The blond nods his head and attempts to lay his legs flat, but in the pain in his stomach increases the further he stretches them out. So he decides with resting them with his knees bent. Bones doesn't make mention of it; he simply throws the sheets back and removes Jim's arms. Gently the Doctor begins to press down and instantly Jim yelps and flinches away.

"Shit Bones." Jim moans breathlessly, "Jim this is worse than it was a couple hours ago."

"What's wrong with me?"

Bones pauses. He doesn't know. He has no idea. But he doesn't want to tell Jim that, he can't tell Jim that he's clueless, that Jim could die any hour now and he'll have no explanation for it. No, he must keep Jim's hopes up.

"You've been through hell." Bones mutters, and it is half true, Jim's been dragged around on this planet for days, going through who the hell knows what.

Slowly the Doctor drapes the blankets back over Jim's body and he watches the kid heave a shaky sigh as the blue eyes slip back shut.

 _Heart bursting through his chest, Jim rounds the next corner, searching for that klingon bastard that has somehow escaped his sight. It just happened all too quickly for him. Jim's fingers curl around the trigger, itching to shoot the General squarely in the face._

 _Suddenly there's a snap and the Captain spins around, but there's nothing there, only more trees. Grinding his teeth he approaches, keeping his phaser aimed firmly ahead. But a pair of arms wrap around him from behind and his mouth his forced shut._

 _He fights the hold, kicking and squirming from the grasp._

 _"You must be silent Captain." Toq growls in his ear and begins to drag him back to a safe distance._

 _Once a far enough away, Toq places the struggling human down. Jim instantly turns on him and points the phaser at his head. The klingon just chuckles._

 _"I was merely saving your life." Toq explains, arms crossing at the pathetic human life before him._

 _Jim eyes narrow down at him, "From what?"_

 _"Kirk, there are many creatures on this planet that you do not know about. You were about to head straight into one."_

 _The blond huffs and lowers the phaser, "I didn't see anything."_

 _"Because they move to quickly for the human eye."_

"Damn it Jim…Spock help me get him upright." Bones grumbles and two pairs of hands grasp either side of him and pull him into a sitting position.

Immediately a wave of nausea washes over him and he throws up whatever Bones has been feeding him.

"Shit." Bones murmurs.

Jim then feels a hand rubbing his back and one hand keeping his head up.

"Jim you with us?" Bones asks, peeling back an eyelid. Jim moans, slapping a hand against the Doctor's forearm, "Open your eyes for me; I need you to drink some water."

The blue eyes roll open and blink several times to clear his vision, "Hey Bones…" He whispers, clasping a sweaty hand over Bones' ear, "Hey Jim." Leonard greets back, "Thirsty?"

Spock then appears from behind, holding a cup of water. But Jim shakes his head, "C'mon Jim, you need to drink some. Just a little okay?" Bones urges, taking the cup from the vulcan's grasp and offering it to the blond.

Jim looks at the cup's contents and wrinkles his nose.

"It's just water." Bones prompts, giving the liquid inside a good slosh.

"Not thirsty." Jim brushes it off.

The Doctor sighs, "Is it your stomach?"

Jim nods his head slowly, "Alright, come here." Bones replies, ushering the blond onto his lap.

The blond smiles and climbs into Bones' lap, feeling the anxiety melt away as the Doctor's fingers card through his hair.

"Here, take this for me Mister Spock." Bones huffs and hands the vulcan the cup.

"Of course. I will return shortly. I am going to take watch." And with that Spock disappears through the doorway, leaving Bones alone with Jim.

"How we doin' Jim?" Bones questions, hand pausing as he feels a lump on the side of Jim's head.

Jim feels the growing pressure on his head and reaches out and grasps Bones' hand, bringing it down by his shoulder, "I'm scared."

"Why?" Bones pries and continues to gracefully brush through the blond's hair after he lets go of the grimy hand.

"I dunno Bones." Jim admits, sliding an arm around Bones' thigh.

Leonard glances down, watching the frail body fight for its next breath, "Just rest a little more Jim."

"I'm not tired." Jim whispers, taking a look up at Bones, who is still staring down at him. The blond then settles his head back down on Bones' thigh, his breathing hoarse and inefficient.

"Tell me something." Bones begins, his grip on Jim tightening, "Hmm?" The blond prompts and Leonard sighs before continuing, "What exactly happened?"

 _"Toq! Hold up! Toq!"_

 _Jim begins to pick up the pace, heart racing as he blindly rushes through the thick foliage, branches scratching at his face. He's losing Toq, the klingon is disappearing into the darkness of the trees._

 _"Toq…shit." The blond breathes, slowing his pace as his breathing catches up with him. Must be allergies._

"Jim?" Bones nudges the dozing blond.

The Captain shifts so he's lying on his back and he brings his knees up to comfort his twisting stomach, "General Toq and I came onto the planet and…"

 _"Toq where are you? Damn it-damn it." Jim mutters as he trudges further, his knuckles becoming white as he grips the phaser._

 _"Captain, over here." Toq's voice suddenly rings out, making Jim freeze in his tracks._

"…And?" Bones pushes, giving Jim a look.

Jim grasps Bones' shirt and takes a breath to steady himself, "…and I lost him."

 _"Toq, come out." Jim demands, hands trembling, but he tries to keep his aim desperately._

"How?"

Jim squeezes his eyes shut, "He planned this."

 _"I am right here Captain." Toq's voice suddenly rings out from behind him, and before he can even turn fully around, he's knocked to the ground by a punch to the side of the head._

 _Jim scrambles to his feet and fires a shot off with his gun, but it only hits a tree. His breathing hitches and fear grabs his heart._

"Jim its okay, just breathe." Bones reassures as Jim starts to become restless, "Bones he planned this." He whimpers and feels the strong arms wrap around him, "…And I knew…I just didn't care. I was so willing to throw everything away. How could I do that to you Bones? How could I?"

The Doctor lets an exhale whistle through his mouth, "You did what you thought was best."

 _"Toq where are you damn it?" Jim rages, panting heavily as he spins around._

 _The klingon then sends a sharp kick to Jim's gut, causing him to gasp and to collapse to the ground. The human huffs a breath and tries to get to his feet, but Toq easily pummels him back down with another swift kick._

 _Jim rolls out and sucks in a breath, attempting to clear his vision, but it remains blurry as Toq towers over him to finish the job. The klingon grins and grips the blond by the throat, lifting him up into the air, his feet dangling a couple feet above the ground._

 _But as the light begins to fade, Toq suddenly releases his grip, letting the half suffocated human crumble to the ground into a heap of blood._

 _Then, through the shadows of the darkening forest slips in a figure dressed in black robes head to toe. The person moves closer and Jim pauses, simply staring up at the man before him._

 _"Kodos."_

 _The Executioner smiles devilishly, "Hello James."_

 _Jim shudders and tries to crawl away, but his boots only slide across the mud in his futile attempt to get away._

 _"Oh James, you've grown so much since the last time I laid eyes on you." Kodos comments, coming closer to the squirming blond, "Stay…back…" Jim heaves, his lungs failing him as he fights to pull his body away._

"Jim, Jim! It's okay you were dreaming."

"Bones?" He almost cries out, eyes flying open as he struggles to get through the tangle of blankets and limbs.

Leonard snatches him before he can fall off the bed, "I'm right here. Right here Jim," He reassures, forcing the blond onto his lap.

Jim sighs in relief and relaxes back down.

"Is it a nightmare?" Leonard questions, shifting to get more comfortable while holding the blond in his arms.

Jim blinks blankly several times, trying to collect his memories, "Yeah." He admits eventually.

"When you were sleeping…you mentioned Kodos."

The blond shivers and curls up tighter, "Yeah."

"And before you fell asleep you were telling about what happened on the planet. Care to finish your story?" Bones offers, stroking the dirty blond hair back, striving to soothe his friend.

"Where'd I leave off at?"

"Well you lost Toq and then you kinda left it at that."

Jim remains silent, processing the memories, "You don't hafta to talk about it if you don't want to." Bones informs him and the kid just nods his head.

"What day is it?" Jim finally asks bringing himself upright with the help of Bones, "Not exactly sure. But you've been in and out of it for the past ten hours or so."

"Shit Bones. I'm sorry." Jim quickly apologizes, shoving his face into his hands, "It's alright, not really your fault."

"It kinda is."

Leonard smiles, "Yeah but we're just gonna ignore that little bit for the time being."

"Thanks Bones." Jim smirks and Bones wraps an arm around his thin shoulders, "Hey, you're not out of the woods just yet. You still have a bit of a fever and a few-what I've decided is the flu-symptoms. Plus you could use a good meal."

"I'm not hungry."

Bones scoffs, "Well I say you're hungry so your gonna eat whatever the hell I put in front of you." Jim chuckles lightly which ends in a fit of coughs. The Doctor pats his back and waits for him to catch his breath.

"You feeling up for a trip?"

"Where?" Jim asks excitedly, already trying to stand up, "Hold your horses' kid. And we'd just go to the river for an hour before coming back. You smell worse than a rotting tribble. Plus you gotta eat something." Bones replies, gently pushing him back down.

Jim nods eagerly.

"Alright, you stay here; I think Spock got some water. I want you to drink some." Bones sighs and heaves himself off of the bed to glide out through the open door.

Jim watches him leave, already wanting to try his legs. He grins and swings his legs forward; he trembles the moment his feet hit the ground, shivers working through his feet and up his legs to his spine. The blond clutches the frame of the bed, nausea washing over him, but quickly leaving the next moment.

He sighs, blinking a few times to clear his mind.

"No Jim, don't even think about it." Leonard growls as he enters the room, seeing the normal eager expression appear on the blond's face. But he truly did miss this Jim. It was hard seeing him so helpless, so pathetic.

Jim smiles, taking a daring glance at Bones as he nears with a cup of water.

"Here, drink this for me."

"All of it?" Jim asks as he grasps the cylinder mug with a shaky hand, Bones just glares at his hand, "No, just a couple of sips."

The Captain nods his head and presses it to his lips. As soon as the first sliver of water enters his mouth, he's immediately relieved and he chugs more of it down.

"Okay that's enough!" Bones exclaims after several mouthfuls of water, "Shit Jim." He curses, holding the half empty cup in his hands, the innocent blond just shrugs carelessly.

"Your stomach isn't going to be able to hold that much down." The Doctor points out dryly, shaking his head.

"Oh. Sorry."

Bones rubs his eyes tiredly, "It's okay Jim…c'mon, Spock's waiting for us."

Slowly Bones reaches down and hooks Jim's left arm. Jim smiles sheepishly and gets to his feet, instantly being steadied by Bones.

"Alright, this should be fun." Jim chirps and let's Bones lead him away out the door and into the main area with the stairs to the surface.

"Jim, c'mon pick up your feet, you'll never make it up the stairs that way." Bones criticizes, steering him towards the front entrance.

"Sorry." The blond mumbles.

"Ready Mister Spock?"

Spock greets the pair with a nod as Bones sets the cup off to the side, "Doctor, are you sure this is a wise decision?" The vulcan asks after taking a glance at Jim.

"Well he smells like a dead klingon and I ain't bathing him with a cup Mister Spock." Bones grumbles and snatches Jim by the waistband of his pants when he almost topples over.

"Of course Doctor. How is the Captain?"

"I'm right here Spock. You don't gotta talk about me as if I'm not in the room." Jim complains, adjusting his tightening grip on Bones shirt as his knees shake, "Yeah you can ask the brat yourself." Bones agrees, slinging Jim's left arm onto his shoulders, not wanting him to buckle to the floor, for clearly he isn't stable on his own feet.

"Very well. Captain, how are you feeling?" Spock asks and Bones can't help but smile as Jim purses his lips out, "Damn it Spock, maybe ask as if I'm not five years old."

"Well Captain, you're suffering from malnourishment, dehydration, minor cephalgia, multiple contusions and lacerations, hypertension, emesis, and pyrexia. Overall how do you feel?" Spock rephrases and Leonard tries to hide his giggles.

"Okay, maybe ask as if I'm twelve."

Spock almost sighs, "How's your fever and headache Captain?"

"Oh. Well I think it's gotten much better, thanks for asking Mister Spock." Jim replies and offers a smirk.

"You are welcome Captain."

Bones rolls his eyes, "Dear god, can we just leave now?"

Jim cracks a smile at the comment and Spock's lips do that weird twitch thing that they do when they want to smile, "Alright, let's go." Jim squeaks excitedly and Bones shakes his head, "If one of you dies I ain't helping you."

"If we're already dead Doctor, there is nothing more you can do." Spock points out, "Actually, I brought this one back to life Mister Spock, so there-but now I'm actually beginning to regret that decision."

"Hey!" Jim exclaims, smacking Bones on the shoulder, "Oh don't you even dare, I've been taking care of your sorry ass since the day I met you."

The blond chuckles again, but Bones can't help but notice the way he clutches at his stomach, as if he didn't hold tight enough his innards might spill out. The Doctor sighs and draws Jim closer, "Alright, here, we, go."

 **Author's Note: Hey sorry for the long wait I've been quite busy and I'll be even busier in the next few months so it'll take me even longer to update, sorry. But I hope all of yall will stick around for the next chapters. Hopefully I can wrap this story up but I thought it was gonna be over after twelve chapters and look where we're at now lol. Well I hope yall have enjoyed your summers, until next time. Live Long and Prosper and damn it Jim this is a fan fiction story not a reality TV show.**


	21. Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 21: 'Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean'** _ **Explosions In The Sky**_

"We'll take a break right here, I'm not too fond of the way he's breathing right now."

"…I'm…fine."

"Have you heard yourself talk yet?" Bones snaps back and settles the struggling blond down onto the ground. Jim huffs and suddenly grips onto Bones as his next breath doesn't quite come in. "It's alright Jim, just breathe," The Doctor comforts, crouching down beside him, but Jim's panic only increases as his breaths become more shallow.

"Jim look at me, breathe kid, just breathe." Bones says, stroking the sticky blond hair back until his breathing comes in at full, "There ya go." He smiles and seats himself beside the blond.

Spock remains standing, taking guard over the two smaller humans. They have indeed all have lost some weight, Jim especially, but Spock on the other hand hasn't seemed to change much. But Bones swears he can see the tips of Spock's ears blush green, or it's the damn lighting.

"I fear we should not remain situated here for long." Spock states, scanning the immediate area for any potential threats.

"Why is that Mister Spock?" Bones asks, shaking the blond until his drooping eyelids become more alert.

"For one Doctor, the Captain appears to be falling asleep on his feet, and secondly I fear that we are being followed."

The second comment is what gets Bones' attention, "Followed?"

"Indeed Doctor." Spock confirms.

The Doctor huffs, "What makes you think that?"

"I am not exactly sure. It would be based off of something you humans call a 'gut feeling'."

Jim giggles, hysterically so, causing the Doctor some worry, "What's so funny Jim?" Bones questions, tapping the blond's face to get his attention.

"Gut feeling Bones, gut feeling." Jim chuckles but comes to a halting stop when his body shudders. Bones exhales gently and rubs Jim's back until his lungs are able to expand fully.

"Alright, couple more minutes Jim then we're up and moving." Leonard declares and hops to his feet to stand beside the vulcan, "Spock, it really can't be just a 'gut feeling'?" The Doctor whispers, making sure Jim can't hear them.

Spock takes a glance at him, "Doctor, I have no logic to back up my speculations. I merely have a 'gut feeling'."

"Spock, you sure you're not just spooked?" Bones prompts, "You know being alone in a creepy forest can cause people to be paranoid."

"Yes Doctor, but I am a vulcan, all of our feelings are based off of logic and this feeling has none."

Leonard grins, "Must be the human side of ya Spock."

Spock studies him before finally he nods, "I believe you are right Doctor."

"I'm always right." The Doctor corrects, crossing his arms in the normal sarcastic fashion.

"Bones!" Jim's sudden shriek causes both officers to spin around and face the frightened blond, "Jim what's wrong?" Bones asks as he crashes at Jim's side, peeling away the shaky hands from the pale face.

"I-I saw him." Jim stutters, pointing off into the darkness of the forest. Spock's gaze follows the direction but he's unsatisfied when he finds nothing.

Bones glances at Spock but the First Officer shakes his head. The Doctor nods and turns back to his Captain, once more pulling the blond's hands away from his blue eyes, "Jim, it's okay, nothing's there."

"No-no. No I saw him Bones. He was there." Jim protests, chest heaving up and down rapidly despite the Doctor's efforts to calm him.

"Well whatever you saw Jim is gone now."

"He was there I saw him Bones." The terrified blond insists, searching the Doctor's eyes for belief, but he finds none. "Maybe going to the river wasn't such a good idea." Bones sighs after a moment and Jim's heart hits rock bottom.

He's disappointed Bones, made his life harder than it should be. Can't he just shut up for once? He's always such a nuisance. An ache in Bones' neck.

"Please Bones, can we go?" Jim pleads, cheeks flushing in slight embarrassment as his head hangs, eyes downcast fixating onto a patch of grass.

Bones hummpfs and gathers to his feet, "Fine, but we better get moving."

Jim nods and stands up, new determination rising in his chest. He's going to make Bones' life easier from now on. No matter how desperate he is, he needs to let Bones have some time to himself.

The Doctor comes beside him and wraps an arm around him, but he shakes his head, brushing Bones' help away. "I'll be fine." Jim reassures as Leonard gives him a look before giving in.

The trio trek for some time, Jim hiding his hyperventilation pretty well, sometimes holding his breath to make it seem like he was taking normal gasps of air as he stumbles along the forest ground. Bones doesn't seem to check in on him much and the Doctor definitely never asks him if he needs a break.

Maybe Bones is tired of helping him. Wouldn't surprise the blond much, the Doctor hasn't really left his side since they ran into each other down at the river. Which would explain the sour look he receives every time from Bones when he needs the good Doctor's help.

"Careful-Jim!" Bones snaps and grabs him by the waist, practically tackling the startled blond to the ground, "Shit. Bones the hell?" Jim wheezes, breath hitching in the back of his throat as the panic settles in his chest.

"You clumsy bastard. There's a steep hill, you were about to tumble down." The Doctor grounds out, which only serves to worsen Jim's sudden hyperventilation, "Calm down Jim. It's not a big deal." Bones tries to reach out to the struggling blond but he snags away, stumbling into Spock's strong arms.

Spock steadies the Captain, letting the blond bury his face into his shoulder in effort to relieve the restricting pain in his lungs. The vulcan stares down at the head full of hair before carefully placing his forehead to the blond's. Jim instantly relaxes, feeling calm wash over his body as Spock murmurs in the vulcan dialect.

Bones just stands off to the side, slightly embarrassed and noticeably jealous of Jim's choice to pick Spock over him to turn to. He doesn't want to admit it, but he can feel the irritation surging in his heart, making his teeth grind in annoyance that he's never felt before.

"Thanks Spock." Jim's hoarse voice is barely above a whisper as he peels away from his friend's shoulder, Bones' hawk eyes following his movements. But the blond doesn't turn to look at the Doctor, he doesn't have the heart to, instead he lets Spock stable him as they take the first step down the hill together.

Bones only watches them briefly before following them down to the river's edge, accepting his new role as Jim's Doctor only. It pangs his heart slightly to be so secluded, but maybe it was his own doing. Pushing Jim so far away.

Leonard had become a Doctor to Jim more than friend. And god knows Jim's lacking of good friends. Close friends that he can actually trust. Bones may have broken that bond.

"Careful Captain, we are nearing the water's edge." Spock states as Jim almost slips onto his rear, "I'm sick Spock, not blind." The blond grumbles in response.

"I am quite aware of that Captain. But your inability to see the upcoming hill proves otherwise." Spock defends and Jim's lips pull into a strained smile, one of which Bones hasn't seen in a while.

"Oh screw off Spock. I was distracted." Jim counters sharply and Spock settles him down on a large rock, allowing the Doctor to come up beside them to interrupt their playful banter that falls short when Jim looks up at him.

"Alright, time to wash up. Clothes off." Bones orders and comes beside him to help pull off his shirt. But Jim nudges him off and with many hisses of pain manages to take off his own ragged shirt, leaving the Doctor useless before him. The blond them squirms his pants off, simply sitting on the rock in his black spandex.

Bones gives a huff at him and grips him under the armpit to help hoist him to his feet. But even though Leonard leads him forward carefully, Jim doesn't put any weight on Bones, walking completely on his own into the water.

As soon as his feet enter the cold water, he freezes, heart pounding in his chest.

 _The first thing Jim notices when he comes to, after being taken away by Kodos, is the sound of running water. And it doesn't take him long to realize he's lying in it. Instantly he plants his feet to the bottom and spits the liquid from his mouth, but when he licks his lips, he tastes the tang of metallic blood._

 _Fear ravaging within him, the blond glances about himself, staring down at the liquid before him, seeing that it's not water he's standing in, but gallons of blood that seep into every crevice of his body._

"Jim-Jim! You're okay-you're alright." Bones anxious words bring him back to reality. He immediately takes himself away from the water's edge, running into Spock. But instead of crashing into the vulcan's arms he shoves him away as well, falling to the ground in his haste.

In his scrambling he only gains new cuts and bruises.

Leonard beats Spock to his side, even though the vulcan was closer to begin with, "Hey…hey, Jim look at me kid." Jim allows Bones to help him onto his back, oxygen no longer making its way into his lungs.

 _Blood, blood is everywhere, covering every inch of his pale body. He jumps back, pressing his back against a red stained stone wall. Breathing heavy, he searches for a way out of this mess, but darkness only meets his eyes._

 _The oxygen fails him as he slumps to the ground, sinking into the knee-deep pool of crimson blood._

"Bones!" He cries helplessly, clutching onto the Doctor's shirt to find some sort of comfort. Bones holds him back, pressing him close, "Blood. Get the blood off of me." Jim voice trembles as he peels away, beginning to rub his arms red, removing the imaginary blood from his skin.

"Jim I need you to calm down…" Bones starts, his voice sounding defeated as he grabs the blond's nail-less hands.

"Doctor, may I be of service?" Spock questions, coming closer to the pair. Bones just nods and shifts over so Spock can sit beside the two.

"Captain…Jim…" Spock begins, grabbing a hold of Jim's chin to turn the blond's gaze his way, "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts…" Spock mutters, gently placing his fingers in the correct position for a mind-meld.

Bones just watches, both Spock's and Jim's eyes fall closed, but the meld only lasts for mere seconds before the vulcan jumps back in great surprise, quickly drawing his hand away from the blond's face. Jim is stunned as well, left breathless and scared shitless.

"Spock?" He prompts, placing a hand on the First Officer's shoulder, "I am fine Doctor. I did not anticipate such strong emotions to arouse from the Captain. I was not mentally prepared."

Leonard nods and turns towards Jim, who appears to be in some form of shock from the experience, "Jim, you there kid?" The blond looks his way, nodding his head slowly, "Wanna wash up now?" He asks, gesturing towards the cool water, lapping at the stone covered shore. Bones earns another nod; the blond's quiet, too quiet.

"Alright, c'mon kid." Bones says softly and hoists the shaken Captain to his feet, but once again Jim doesn't put much weight on the Doctor's shoulder.

Spock simply sits back, letting Bones handle it while he sorts through his own mind, trying to organize Jim's thoughts from his own. The transfer of memories had been so quick and painful that Spock hadn't even fully comprehended what had just taken place.

"That's it kid." Bones encourages, letting Jim sit down within the foot deep water. The blond seems too timid to go further, so Bones calls it good.

Slowly he scrubs Jim down, just using Jim's discarded shirt to do so. The blond stiffens every time Bones makes contact with him, sometimes flinching when the cold water runs down his bare back.

"Here, put your head down." Leonard orders, soaking the shirt into the river before continuing to scrub Jim's hair back to its normal bright golden charm.

While letting Jim sit in the water, Bones heads off to the side, washing Jim's clothes in the dark river. He glances over at the Captain; Jim's stroking his fingers, feeling the area where his nails used to be. His heart pauses. What exactly has Jim been through since his rescue? The blond had been awful secretive ever since his sketchy release from the Toq Incident.

What's the blond playing at here? What does he have to gain from killing Kodos? Surely it can't just be revenge; Jim has never been that simplistic. The starship Captain is many things, but simple is not one that sticks onto the blond's long list of attributes.

Jim sighs, his blue eyes turning ever bluer, reflecting the rich color of the water before him. His clammy hands glide across the surface, welcoming the coolness that seeps into his pores. A calm washes over him, one of which he hasn't felt in weeks. Here he is, his two best friends watching over him while he makes an idiot of himself once more. Damn he has a bad habit of doing this.

Maybe it's time for change. He needs to put his demons away and close the door. For far too long he has let his fears control him, taking him to places he never wanted to see, like this place. If it weren't for his fear of being stuck on Tarsus again, he wouldn't be here, chasing the Executioner on this god forsaken planet.

Once he's killed Kodos and has handled Toq, he can finally find some peace. Maybe he, Bones and Spock can take some time off for themselves. They've earned it haven't they? After all this, haven't they gained something? But not himself, but at least Spock and Bones, they deserve much more than following him around in this wild goose chase. It's not fair for them. So after this he'll make it up to them, he'll give up everything for them after this. They've earned it.

"Jim, you mad at me?" The brunette suddenly asks, standing over him, casting a long shadow over the waters. Jim glances up, blinking a few times to clear his vision, "No…" He starts, his voice sounding quite pathetic, "Hmm, you know you've never been good at lying to me." Bones chuckles softly, offering the pasty blond a smile.

The Captain meets the smile with a lopsided grin, "Yeah I know. It was worth a try."

"So, what'd I do to piss you off this time?"

"I thought I pissed you off." The blond admits, rubbing the back of his neck in effort to bring some of the attention off of himself. "Is that so?" Bones huffs, raising an eyebrow down at the blond.

"Yeah."

The Doctor exhales, "I guess it's been a long day."

"Amen to that."

"Can I ask you something?" Bones takes a one-eighty with the conversation, catching Jim off guard, "Ask away to your little heart's desire."

"What happened?"

 _"Oh god no. It's not blood, it's not blood. Oh god." Jim rambles to himself, desperately trying to convince his mind that the liquid before him is water, but the reek of blood says otherwise._

 _"I'm sorry Bones…so sorry." The blond weeps, letting the warm blood soak into his skin._

"Nothing." Jim snaps, becoming instantly closed off and Bones flinches slightly, "That bad?" Bones mutters, earning a glare from the blond, but he can see the pain behind those blue eyes, the demons plaguing his mind. Spock must've seen those too.

The Doctor dares a look off to the side, Spock's still sitting in the same spot, but now he's meditating, probably trying to sort through the things he saw in Jim's disaster of a mind. Bones gazes back towards Jim, noticing that fact that the blond is still staring deep into his eyes, searching for something that isn't there. What is he looking for? What does Jim want from him? What does Jim expect of him? He's certainly not perfect and certainly can't read minds like the vulcan.

"What?" Leonard inquires curiously and Jim's eyes fall to the rippling waters.

"I'm a cancer."

Bones opens his mouth to object, but he pauses, truly analyzing Jim's words. He is a cancer. All the bad things that have happened since he's divorced his ex-wife have been caused by Jim. Jim is the root of all his misfortune. The blond has caused him so much fear and anxiety; certainly he's ought to have a heart attack one of these days. The mischievous Captain has also been the cause of all the gray hairs on his head.

But on the other hand, Jim has also been the cause for all his happiness. All the good things that have come to him have been through Jim. Without the blond he would be some miserable, well, miserabler, person than he would be right now.

"Jim you can't possible believe that." The Doctor finally formulates after several moments. Jim sniffles lightly before casting a glance his way, eyes filled with unshed tears, "I do."

Bones sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and shakes his head, "Jim you may be some form of pain in my ass, but you're definitely not terminal."

The blond chuckles, wiping his eyes to get rid of the welling tears there.

"Alright c'mon kid, let's get you back home." Bones stops, shit, he let it slip, he didn't mean to. He glances at Jim's contorted face, making the awful connection of what has just transpired. "The Enterprise." Jim hasn't muttered the name in so long; it feels almost foreign on his tongue. Bones seems to be quite frozen, studying his expression.

"I wish." Bones replies and the blond nods his head before letting the Doctor help him stand upright.

The pair then walk to the shore and Leonard takes a glance over to Spock. Or wait. Where the hell is Spock? The Doctor now gazes over the shoreline, not seeing anything that resembles a pointy eared bastard.

"Where's Spock?" Jim whispers, obviously noticing the vulcan's sudden disappearance as well.

"Dunno." Bones admits, sitting Jim down and straining his eyes to find the First Officer.

Jim breathes heavily. Feeling chills running down his spine as his stomach twists at the odd sensation. The sky seems to almost darken as well, giving away the evil that is about to reveal itself. And as it steps from the shadows of the forest, Jim's stomach churns and the fear finds a nice place in his chest. Bones doesn't seem to pick up on what's happening until the familiar rang off the voice is shouted out across the clearing.

"Aww James! There you are. I've been searching for you."

 **Author's Note: Sorry for not posting in so long! And thanks yall for all the reviews it means the world to me :) Sorry that this chapter is kinda short and boring but it's all I got right now. I hope that my next chapter will be out much quicker but no promises. Live Long and Prosper, and go make blueberry pancakes.**


	22. I need a Doctor

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 22: 'I need a Doctor'** _ **Dr. Dre**_

"Hey…hey…it's alright, we're gonna be alright." The voice murmurs, just above the sound of his exasperated breathing and the continuous dripping sound of blood running down the sides of the walls.

He shifts slightly and sighs. The words are meant to be a comfort, but every time he looks around those words change from reality to fantasy. Just the smell is enough to send his mind shriveling and his stomach to twist and turn in ways he's never felt.

His partner exhales and holds him closer, "Maybe Spock's still out there."

It's a hope that the two can only hold on to, it's the only thought that is keeping them going. The pair didn't put up much of a fight when Kodos revealed himself at the edge of the tree line, holding a phaser that was set to kill. Bones was left to turn himself in along with Jim.

"Maybe." Jim finally whispers in reply, the reek of blood filling his nostrils.

"Is it always going to be like this?"

The blond pauses, pondering his answer, "No." He sighs and feels the body beneath him shudder, "But you'll get used to it."

Bones looks at him, seeing a new light gleaming through those blue eyes, "How the hell am I supposed to get used to this? God Jim we're sitting in blood. Gallons upon gallons of blood. Jim…" The Doctor's voice cracks and he feels the sweat run down his face.

 _"Have you had enough yet?" Kodos' voice rings out across the darkened room._

 _He groans, gathering to his feet to lean against the wall. The Executioner smirks at him, light flooding into the space from the wide open door behind the dark figure._

 _"Screw off." Jim manages to growl before his knees give out and he lands back into the swamp of blood._

 _Kodos chuckles softly, "Well, when you decide to be civil there's dinner waiting for you." He announces and disappears into the hallway, leaving the door wide open._

 _Jim blinks several times, adjusting to the harsh lighting flowing through the doorway. Can he really just walk out of here? Slowly he stands and trudges forward cautiously, leaving the dark crimson blood behind him._

 _But as he leaves the swamp of blood, he can't help but take one more glance back, wondering where this course of action will lead him. He can only hope for the best and pray to god that things don't get any worse. Unfortunately he was wrong, dead wrong. Because next came the questions, then the chains, followed by whippings and all sorts of foul play. And when he looks back at the moment when he had stepped through the cell door, he can't help but tell himself: 'the cell wasn't that bad'._

"We won't be here for long." Jim fills in and draws an uneven breath into his lungs. Bones sniffles and the blond pretends not to notice, "And why is that?" Bones prompts, keeping his gaze away from the red seeping into the room but fixating on Jim's golden hair that somehow hasn't been ruined with blood.

"Because, he gets bored after awhile."

Bones is about to ask who Jim is referring to, but then his mouth clamps shut and he puts the puzzle pieces together. Of course Jim is talking about Kodos.

"Well shit." The Doctor grounds out suddenly, brushing Jim off of his lap and getting to his feet. Jim glares at him, feeling slightly annoyed by the change of mood, "What?"

The brunette spins around to face Jim, skin tingling as the blood laps right below his knees, "I ain't sitting around waiting for him to come back. I'm getting the hell outta here."

"Bones, there's no way out but through the door. Trust me, I tried." Jim grumbles, feeling slight anxiety as the Doctor's body is consumed by darkness the further he travels.

"Jim, there's gotta…there's gotta be a way out." Bones wheezes out, breath cutting short as the moist air fills his lungs, "Jim I can't-I just can't." He whimpers, hands covering his face in attempt to hide his shame.

The blond's eyes widen and gets to his feet all too quickly only to stumble and fall back into the thick of the blood. He swiftly scrambles back up and grabs Bones, wrapping his arms around the Doctor before tugging him away off to the side. "Bones, Bones its okay, it's gonna be okay." Jim soothes, not caring as he only serves to smear more greasy blood over the Doctor's body.

"No Jim, it's not. I can't handle this like you, I can't stay strong. I don't know how you do it Jim, I just don't know how." Leonard cries, squeezing the life out of Jim.

Panic rises and the pain that has been wrenched in his heart feels like it's about to burst. All the guilt is about to spill out of him. But he stays strong, shutting his eyes and keeping Bones' terribly close, letting the Doctor cry into his shoulder without further thought.

Bones' sobs echo in the dark room along with the sound of dripping blood. Jim adjusts his grip and moves a hand into the brunette's hair, gently toiling his hair until he calms down.

"Jim, are you okay?" Bones whispers quite hoarsely, and the blond finally realizes that Bones' has pulled away from him and is now searching his face. And it's then he feels the silent rebellious tears slipping down his pasty cheeks. Little bastards those tears are.

He swallows slowly, formulating an answer that isn't coming fast enough, so he settles on nodding his head.

Bones sees right through his disguise, but accepts it nonetheless and decides on wrapping the blond back into a hug. Jim gives in and let's himself settle back into Bones' arms as they walk back to their previous wall. They both plop back down and let the darkness consume them, wondering when the next time the light will slice through the blackness.

But it isn't long before Bones' anxiety level skyrockets again. After twenty of internal screaming, Jim's breathing has become ragged and frightfully short. Bones shifts, sliding an arm around the wheezing blond's shoulders.

"Lying bastard. I asked you if you were okay." Bones grumbles, but his scowl is all but in hopes of getting the blond to let his southern tone calm him.

Jim lets the Doctor's crude voice soothe his mind, allowing his chest to fully expand and gather gasps of air. Bones smiles and brushes the bloodied blond hairs back, listening to Jim's breathing to make sure the blond is actually calming down and not forcefully pushing away his panic attack.

Then the lights flood into the cramped room, causing both figures to squint against the brightness, "James, we need to talk." Kodos announces, standing at the doorway and signaling the blond forward.

"Screw you. If you think for one second-" Bones gets cut off when Jim stumbles to his feet, "Jim what are you doing?" The blond glances down at him and pushes his shoulders back down when he tries to stand as well, "Not today Bones."

"But Jim-"

Jim turns, eyes welling with tears that threaten to fall once more, "Please, he does things. He'll hurt you."

The Doctor's teeth grind, "Jim, don't do this to protect me. You pompous bastard."

But it's too late, Jim fades into the light along with the dark outline of Kodos and the door slams shut with a sickening creak. Bones sighs, gaze falling to his crimson hands. Without Jim he's nothing, without Jim he's no one.

So he waits for his best friend's return, losing track off time for he surely doze off several times. The two of them really need to stop getting into shit like this, it's not good, and it's definitely not healthy, physically and mentally. Especially for Jim. The golden boy can make all the claims he wants about his mental sternness, his unending energy, and his brilliant intellect. But one day someone is going to succeed in breaking Jim, breaking him so hard that Bones can no longer stitch the pieces back together. He can only hope and pray that today is not that day.

He's certainly in luck, for the lights flood back in and Jim's thrown limply back into the foot deep blood. The poor lad falls face first into it, waking him terribly from whatever daze he was currently caught in.

Bones instantly springs to his feet, rushing to Jim's side, feeling slightly dizzy himself from all the movement, "I gotch'you, I gotch'you kid. It's alright, it's gonna be alright." Bones soothes, Jim's clear panic cracking his cocky bravado.

The blond's gasping, choking on the swallowed blood that has filled his airway from the dive into the thick liquid. Bones grabs him, trying to steady the choking blond. Jim's too panicky to hold still, so the Doctor is forced to shove him up against a wall and pry his mouth open. Cringing, Bones sticks his hand down Jim's throat, initiating the gag reflex that brings up all the liquid from his stomach and the blood in his throat out through his lips, soaking into the Doctor's torn clothes.

Jim then collapses onto the ground, heaving the rest of his stomach contents out, which is just stomach acid. Pain pierces into Bones' chest as he crouches down beside his best friend, listening to the sharp intake of breath and the quick sniffles that escape between each vomit. Once done, Bones pulls him onto his lap, feeling Jim's fingers fumble around shakily until they successful grasp onto his shirt in tight fists.

"What did they do to you Jim? I can't see worth shit in here." Bones prompts, nudging Jim lightly, "N-needles. Needles B-Bones." He stammers, his body shuddering and convulsing within the desperate Doctor's grip.

"Where?" Bones questions, beginning to feel over Jim's arms for any injections, "Neck." Jim wheezes, anxiety rising as the hands wash over him, making him squirm more underneath their sticky touch.

Bones lightly drags his finger across Jim's neck until he feels tender and slightly swelled skin beneath them, "Anywhere else Jim?" He asks, jostling the shaking blond to get his attention.

"I-I don't know." Jim stutters, now trying to sit up, but Bones pins him down easily, his body weak from exertion, "Bones…" He whines in a sob, digging his heels into the ground as his body fights whatever infection that has entered.

"Has he done this to you before?" Bones' voice almost cracks. The thought of Jim suffering all alone, from something he can't do anything about, makes his heart break in two. The blond must've been so scared, so helpless.

Jim hesitates, processing the question before racking his mind for an answer that he knows Bones will only feel guilty about, "Y-yes."

"Shit."

"Bones?" His voice is so close to a sob it's making Bones' hands shake as he holds the crumbling pieces of Jim in place, "It's alright Jim, it's gonna be alright."

"That's what you said last time." Jim points out, and groans when another wave of nausea hits him like a crashing wave.

Then a haggling sound starts off and it takes a moment for Bones to realize that it's Jim laughing hysterically in his arms. He stares down at the sorry excuse of Captain with pure astonishment in his eyes. The blond's own eyes gleam in the faint lighting, showing off those blue eyes that have gotten them into much more trouble than a simple trip to the Counselor's office.

Its then that Bones has to question his purpose, through Jim's delirious laughter, it's then he truly has to ask himself why the hell he's even here in the first place. Maybe if Jim had a better grip on reality they would stop landing themselves in these shitty situations. Because to be honest, Bones is getting tired of it, actually he's fed up.

But even though he'd like to do nothing more than beat the living shit out of his best friend, he can't do that. So, instead he brings Jim closer and rocks him gently until his laughter dies down and turns into the expected tears of realization.

Bones shuts his eyes, the urge to hush Jim fading as his mind recognizes the fact that there's nothing he can do for the blond. He's on his own. So he simply lets Jim cry, ignoring the whimpers and the constant whispers of his name being muttered into darkness.

Which this leaves Jim's mind racing, "Bones?" He groans, body shivering with the rising fever. He attempts to open his eyes but he only sees darkness consuming him.

Blue eyes fight to stay open, but they're losing the battle, they're fluttering closed. His fists tighten and he feels the fabric between his fingers, confirming that Bones is present, but simply isn't replying, which leaves Jim terribly confused…very confused.

* * *

"And where are your friends now?"

There's a pause, a hesitation in answer as he shifts his body uncomfortably in the chair, "I dunno."

"What happened when you woke up?"

"I don't remember."

A heavy breath is expelled, it's exasperated and slightly frustrated by the way this conversation is ending. "Do you recall anything after that night in the cell?"

Another moment of silence washes over him, as his brain racks to find the answers. Surely he should remember what happened after that night?

"No." He finally replies in a hoarse sigh.

"Did you at the very least accomplish your goal?"

"Which one?"

The voice huffs and can't help but growl, "Kodos. Is he dead?"

"I'm not sure." His voice cracks slightly. Why can't he remember? What happened after that night? And where are Bones and Spock? "Please, enough questions. Where are my friends? I have to go find them."

"No. Not yet." The voice grounds out, the harsh tone causing the blond to shrivel back slightly.

"How come? Screw you bastard. Now let me go." Jim demands and stands from the chair, but as soon as he stands he's electrocuted and sent spiraling to the floor in misery until the current stops.

"Because I'm missing a valuable piece of the story. Once of which is very vital."

"Yeah, and what's that? I told you I don't remember anything after that night with Bones." The Starship Captain snaps, collecting himself from the dust-free floor and plopping his exhausted body back into the cushioned chair.

"How you got away with it in the first place."

"What do you mean?" Kirk asks, crossing his arms in defense.

The voice snorts, "After General Toq, how did you get away with it?"

The blond rolls his eyes and rubs his face tiredly, "You want me to go back that far?"

"I want you to explain in full detail of how you are still in command of the USS Starship Enterprise after the Toq Incident."

"I thought I explained it to you!" Jim exclaims, fists clenching in slight rage, god only knows how many long hours he's been explaining shit to these retards.

"No, you skipped over it." The voice counters, with equal, if not more anger than the blond.

Jim just sighs, "Well I must've skipped it, like I did with the Khan part."

"We are not interested in the relation you have to Khan. Just your recent encounters with General Toq and Kodos, but to fully grasp the story, I must know how you are still in command of the Enterprise."

"You got to kidding me." Jim breathes and chuckles loudly, holding his stomach, ignoring the bright lighting from up above as his head tilts back in laughter.

"What?" The voice demands, the sounds echoing in the empty room, reminding Jim that he's all alone.

"I didn't get command of the Enterprise. I had to steal it. Then I had a hell lot of bargaining and death threats." Jim responds, smiling fondly at the old memories.

"What happened in the end?"

The blond smirks, "They said yes."

"Explain."

The blond rolls his blue eyes and brings his legs up, crossing them neatly and folding his hands in his lap, "Well once upon a time there was a Captain named James Tiberius Kirk and after returning home from the 'Toq Incident', some very mean people were out to get him. So the brave, courageous Captain made a plan to steal his ship back and win the hearts of his people once again…"

 **Author's Note: Yes-yes-yes I know, the story has just taken another 180, but I will explain. Thanks yall for sticking around this long, I'm not exactly sure who is still reading my crap but I appreciate everything I get! Thanks yall for being the best, and until next time. Live Long and Prosper.**


	23. Bad Moon Rising

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 23: 'Bad Moon Rising' _Creedence Clearwater Revival_**

Jim's eyes fly open, to once more welcome the darkness pooling into his room, but a bright light coming through his window attracts his greedy eyes away. He looks towards the light, seeing the full moon shinning up above, reminding him that he is no longer on his beloved Enterprise, but instead on Earth, his supposed home. But god everyone knows he was born in space and space he belongs.

He stifles a yawn and plants his feet on the ground, shivers running up his legs and into his spine. Below his toes is the wooden floor, which makes him question his current location. His apartment has carpet and tiled floors, no wooden.

Heart pounding he stands, running a hand through his matted blond hair and pushing passed the creaking door, only to embrace the sight of a sweet and tidy living space. Complete with couches, a rug, and snug fireplace.

He must've made too much noise because now a figure enters the room, with a familiar folding of the arms and grouchy frown, "Jim, what are you doing up?" Bones drawls out heavily, rubbing his tired eyes with a hand.

"Where am I?" His voice quivers and he takes a step away from the nearing Doctor when he comes closer.

"You're at my Mama's house, back in Georgia. C'mon Jim, I told you this yesterday. Don't you remember?" Bones prompts, continuing to come closer as Jim moves further away.

The blond shakes his head and tears at golden hairs, causing the splitting headache to arrive.

"Jim, you just need to calm down, it's alright. I know you're a little confused but let me explain." Bones soothes, still coming closer. The blond fights his approaching presence, but only causes his breath to hitch, and before Bones can utter another word, he's swaying on his feet.

As he crumples to the floor, Bones successfully catches him and pulls him to the living room. He heaves him onto a couch and draws him close, making sure the blond can hear his steady heartbeat.

"Breathe Jim, that's it kid." The Doctor whispers, stroking the golden hair back until Jim's breathing settles back into the normal rhythmic fashion.

"Why can't I remember Bones?" He whimpers, he doesn't like the thought of being vulnerable, it makes him look weak.

The Doctor sighs, peeling away his clammy hands to reveal his reddened face, "Jim, it's just your meds. Remember, the ones you're taking for your anxiety?"

"No, I don't have anxiety. I don't need medicine." Jim retorts, crossing his arms like a petulant toddler, "Yeah okay. Explain the panic attack you had the moment you stepped off of the Enterprise two days ago."

Jim just stares at him, his brain working for the solution, but he finds none.

"It's okay Jim; it won't always be like this. I just have to find a medication that works for you." Bones replies, trying to cheer him up a little. He remembers the conversation he had with Jim about taking medication, the Captain was totally against it, and now he sees why. It's hard trying to find a medication that Jim isn't allergic to and doesn't cause severe side effects like the current one is. But it's either this or have an anxiety ridden Captain that could go off like a time bomb any passing moment.

"When's the meeting?" The blond asks all too quietly, shrugging slightly at his own feebleness. The Doctor underneath him draws a long breath, the exhale ruffling the golden tufts of hair, "Four days from now."

"Okay."

Bones looks down at him, gaze narrowing, "No, it's not okay Jim. You've just been through hell and back and now they want you to go through hell again just to have a story they already know. Jim it's unnecessary."

Jim doesn't reply, his weary gaze shifting to the floor. A shaky breath is inhaled and is released too skittishly. But Leonard doesn't comment, he doesn't need too, nor does he want to for that matter. Addressing the problem only leads to more problems with Jim. If the blond doesn't want to talk about his anxiety with Bones, his friend, then Doctor McCoy will just have deal with it. But Bones here, is Jim's friend, not his doctor.

"You do realize what this means?" Bones prompts, trying to catch those distant blue eyes, moonlight reflecting off of the surface, making them turn a rich ocean blue. But those eyes never look his way, they fail to travel further than a couple inches away from the crack in the wooden floor, where a couple years ago Jim had tried to play soccer in the living room, ended up knocking the ancient ceiling fan off of its base, leaving it to shatter on the ground. Definitely left a mark, Jim still begs to differ.

"Jim."

The twisting knot in his stomach is finally released when the blond beats his lashes several times before giving in to the Doctor's urgent tone. Blue eyes, never miss a beat.

"It's all I think about."

"The meeting?"

Jim almost snorts, "No."

Then silence once more, leaving Bones to wonder what Jim meant. But it doesn't take long for the Doctor to give in to the tension, "Then what?"

"They don't want to interview me about a report Bones." Jim drawls sharply, eyes flickering across the moving shadows creeping along the base of the walls.

Bones doesn't say anything, simply waiting for the blond to gather himself and continue on. It takes a few moments, but Jim finally does blow out a hoarse sigh and scratches somewhat nervously at the golden hairs, indicating that Jim is experiencing some sort of anxiety over the matter.

Little liar.

"Bones, they want to take the Enterprise away."

The way he says 'Enterprise' tugs at Bones' heart. The Enterprise is Jim's home, his only home. It's the place he truly feels at peace. Even though the golden haired kid tries to convince the Doctor that he feels quite at home with his Mama in Georgia, Bones can tell by the way he cautiously peers around corners, and the unsettling twitching he has when he's sitting, that the kid isn't as comfy as he lets on to believe.

"I won't let that happen." Bones states stubbornly.

Jim can only shrug to Bones' bold declaration. The Doctor had made a similar one not too long ago back on the Enterprise while she was still grounded, but the same doubt still resonates within his chest.

"I know." Jim mutters calmly, hoping that Bones will buy in to his fake peacefulness. It's the only way to keep the Doctor sane.

There's a pause as Bones contemplates, deciding on the next course of action carefully, but Jim chooses for him when the blond stands up and stretches with a loud yawn escaping his lips.

"Back to bed huh?" Bones mumbles, standing as well and rubbing his brown eyes to clear his blurry vision.

Jim just nods and gives little courteous smile to Bones before strolling back into the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind himself quietly. The Doctor watches him go before heading to his own bedroom, welcoming his cushiony bed the instant he hits the mattress.

The Captain on the other hand doesn't find sleep quite so easily. He tosses and turns for several hours, every now and again peeking over at the old clock, telling him that it's only three in the morning.

With an agitated sigh, Jim draws himself into a sitting position, staring out through the window, feeling a slight gravitation to the gleaming stars.

He smiles, licking his lips till they're fresh. Standing he makes his way to the window, opening it swiftly and silently before climbing through to welcome the crisp night of Georgia. Even with bare feet, Jim doesn't feel the cold nipping at the tips of his toes and fingers, no, he's too busy gazing upwards at the sky, enjoying the moon shining up above, bringing about yet another smile onto his face.

The blond let's his feet carry him away, lush grass springing up through his calloused toes. The ground below him is firm and icy to the touch, but the view up above is dark and welcoming to his unblinking blue eyes, bringing in the sight of the night sky. If one was to see Jim currently, they would assume he was a crazed lunatic, and their guess wouldn't be too far off the truth. He's certainly crazy, but lunatic is where he'd draw the line. His intelligence is too high to allow him to be a loony, his thought process runs at warp speed nine, and that's just on a normal day. This quick intellect allows him to categorize things before they become too personal, before they drive him over the edge of insanity.

But sometimes his brilliant mind stutters and comes to a complete stop, like it did when he first heard the news of his supposed 'meeting' with the Admiralty. Interview his ass. More like 'give us our goddamn ship'. So with thoughts like these, the blond is left to clear his mind, and what better way to do so than go stargazing?

Jim draws in a comforting sigh, breath fogging into long streams of clouds before his lips. Usually Georgia is cool, staying around twenty degrees Celsius, but not during this chilly winter night. But the blond is used to the cold, it no longer bothers him, his skin doesn't even tighten at the free running shivers crackling through his lively body. No, he's had it worse before, compared to some nights this is like a hot summer's day.

But unfortunately the cold temperature doesn't stop his mind from freezing up; instead the question roams freely through his mind like a plague. What if he loses the Enterprise? Surely he has no life outside of her? He would have no home to run to after her. Of course Bones' Mama would take him in a heartbeat, but this isn't truly his home. He belongs in the stars, boundless.

This only brings the next question, rolling along into the forefront of his mind. If he does lose the Enterprise, what does that make of him? But that's just it, he can't afford to lose the Enterprise, so no matter what happens, he's not letting go.

He stops in his tracks, feeling tears slip pass his eyes.

"Goddamn it."

Jim turns around, trudging back through the long grasses and thick shrubs scratching against his legs. All this time, he's been worrying about losing the Enterprise, but what if it's worse than that? What if as well he loses his crew, his friends? What if he loses Spock? What of Bones? If he loses Bones he'd die. He'd lose the will to live.

If he wants to keep the Enterprise, he first must keep his people together. And if that means talking to each one of them personally face-to-face, he'll do it. He'll do whatever it takes to keep the Enterprise.

With a new determination he marches back to the house, climbs through the window and nearly faceplants into the wooden floor when he's met with a scowl, "Damn it Jim, you had us worried." Bones grumbles, helping the shivering blond to his feet.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep." He admits and he can see the relief wash over Bones when he actually tells the truth.

The Doctor's shoulders sag slightly as he sighs, "You were gone for at least two hours, because that's when I noticed you were missing."

A lump crawls into his throat as the guilt settles on his mind, "Sorry." This time his voice is smaller and quite hoarse.

Bones just shakes his head, "Just please don't do it again." The brunette mutters and leads Jim onto the bed.

"How come you checked on me?"

The Doctor stops, noticing the sly grin forming on the blond's chapped lips, "Because I care Jim." He replies, tugging he sheets over Jim's icy cold body. Jim almost snorts at the response, but nonetheless smiles at the statement.

"Bones?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll never lose you right?"

"…Never…"

With new contentment, Jim finds sleep quite easily, Bones remaining by his side for the rest of the morning.

* * *

"What does this have anything to do with the Kodos?"

Jim rolls his eyes, purposely raking his wrists against the chains, welcoming the throbbing pain, it reminds him that he's still somehow alive.

"If you'd just be patient, I'm getting to that part. God." He grumbles, rubbing his face over with a dirty hand before fiercely grinding his teeth at the voice.

"Just hurry up and skip to the point where you actually start planning to steal the Enterprise."

The blond sighs casually, crossing his legs neatly in his chair, "Why are you in such a rush? And what does this even matter to you?"

"Don't question me."

"I'm chained to a chair, talking to a voice which I have no idea where it's coming from. I could be hallucinating for god's sake. Just answer the flipping question."

Silence washes over him, but he continues to wait until the voice sighs and seems to come to a conclusion, "Captain Kirk, this is very vital. We need this full report. Now please, continue on. The sooner we get this over with the sooner you'll be able to see your friends."

"Full report? What the hell is this? Why don't you just ask Starfleet? They have the whole damn thing filed away."

"Captain, just continue on."

"Screw off." Jim retorts, looking anywhere else but the single light shining up above.

"Captain." The voice warns, but Jim doesn't reply, simply distancing his gaze away, hopefully coming off as a rude little bitch. It's what he's aiming for.

Electrical shock zaps him back to reality, his focus now falling back to the task at hand. "Shit," He swears within a single gasp of breath, oxygen seeming to flush from his lungs and never return.

"Continue."

"Bastard."

* * *

"Jim! Jim! Will you just hold up for one damn second?"

The blond doesn't turn, keeping his wobbly pace steady and away from the southern Doctor who's edging closer and closer to verge of decking his superior officer in the face. Wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure.

Then it comes, the fist to the side of the head, knocking him with unpredictable force that pushes him down onto his hands and knees. Quickly he shakes his head to clear his swimming vision before hopping to his feet to snatch the wretched Doctor's shirt and thrust him up against the wall.

Bones grunts in pain and in return grasps handfuls of Jim's regulation gold uniform and pulls him ever closer. Jim attempts to glare him down but the dirty Doctor head butts his face, causing his nose to break with a sickening crunch. The Captain immediately releases his grip and holds his bleeding nose, letting out a wail of pain.

"Ahh shit Bones. You bastard. What the hell?" Jim growls, shoving the Doctor away when he comes close, "Screw you Jim. Maybe you should listen when I'm talking to you!" Bones snaps in return, fighting Jim's shaky hands until he has him pinned up against the same wall.

Jim moans helplessly, his anxiety still riveting through his achy body.

"Well what do you want?" Jim spits out viciously, trying to get Bones away from him, but the Doctor is clear headed and quite physically healthy, so he easily traps Jim against the white wall of the Federation building.

"Jim your meeting is tomorrow and I haven't seen you in over twenty hours! You can't just disappear like that! The whole damn Admiralty flipped when they heard we lost contact with you. You pissed them off Jim, you royally pissed them off."

"To hell with you and the damn Admiralty." Jim hisses and Bones grabs his head by his golden hair, forcing him to look into those rich, unblinking, brown eyes that seem to peel his soul away from his shaken body.

"You're insane!"

"We already know that."

"God Jim, they want to take away the Enterprise and here I am punching the one goddamn man that can save it." Bones sighs and releases his harsh grip on the blond.

Jim crumbles into a heap of blood and bones on the floor, replacing his hand back over his severely broken nose that continues to leak crimson down his face. Bones, if he truly admits it to himself, feels a pang of guilt for harming his best friend. But then again, sometimes the only way Jim Kirk learns is through pain and suffering, even if that means Leonard is the one at the trigger.

"Sorry Bones." Jim's hoarse whisper draws the Doctor back into horrible reality, which he wishes he could've stayed away a little longer, just to remove the picture of Jim's frightened face when he landed the first blow.

"Shut up." Bones snaps and brings his Captain back onto his feet, "Shit Bones." Jim moans, stumbling slightly but is easily balanced between the Doctor's shoulder and the wall.

"Well, it looks like we're gonna hafta talk to Spock." Jim mutters and lets Bones lead him down the hall, "I said shut up," Bones replies, trying to hide his own dread that is appearing in creases along his brow.

"No Bones, there's a security camera." Jim states rather blandly, making Bones pause in his tracks and roll his eyes.

Well, it could've been worse right?

"Luckily for us, Federation hates my ass right now, so my best friend decking me in the face probably cheered them up a little." The blond continues his rambling, his feet barely lifting from the ground, "Damn it Jim, I didn't punch you hard enough to cause a concussion so what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Klingon ale. Tasted pretty fine." Jim responds and it's then Bones realizes the Captain has been hiding his slur at the end of his sentences.

He's drunk.

"Damn it Jim. That stuff's terrible for your innards, especially for you. Does horrific things to your stomach." Bones grumbles and pulls Jim off to the side when passing Federation guards stroll casually by, pretending not to notice the obvious blood drizzling down Jim's face.

"It'll be fine Bones." Jim reassures and takes a step forward only to tip back over, fortunately, straight into the Doctor's receiving arms, "Damn, you're heavy." Bones mumbles and forces him back out onto his dead feet. He'd have better luck at an arm wrestling match with a klingon than to get Jim Kirk to walk in a straight line while drunk.

Bones huffs and yanks the blond along, "If you'd please walk straight-" the Doctor snatches his arm before he topples into the nearby trashcan, "-it wouldn't be so bad. You're not making my job any easier kid." Leonard points out, "Or my life for that matter," he adds rather darkly.

Jim smiles characteristically so, teeth gleaming in the artificial lighting up above, "Aren't you just all sunshine and rainbows today?"

"Watch it kid, my fist is still aching to throw another."

This only causes the blond to smile stupidly, even giggling slightly at the thought of Bones enjoying punishing him for lack of concern about the meeting. To hell with the meeting. He already knows the outcome. Why should he let it bother him then? Obviously the Federation is no longer on his side. With the mess he's made of the Enterprise, it'd be surprising if they can get her functioning a hundred percent again. But then again, a certain Scottish man is up for the challenge.

"I just want to go home." Jim admits diffidently, making Bones come to screeching halt, curiosity mixed with a spark of surprise washing over his brow, "We're heading back to the apartment now."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

 **Author's Note: Okay yall, sorry for the terribly long wait, but I just knew I had to get this chapter in, yall are so patient by the way. And like I've done before, I'm just running with it, I know where I want to go, but I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna get there, so I guess we're all in for one big surprise. Well, I hope yall have enjoyed my crap so far, cos honestly who's still reading this? Live Long and Prosper.**


	24. Be Ok

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 24: 'Be Ok'** _ **Ingrid Michaelson**_

 **Author's Note: Okay, lemme explain what's been happening, I do realize how complicated this story seems to be, but once I put it this way, it'll be much easier to follow the plot (hopefully, but then again I did name the book 'Confused'). Since the beginning of the book, Jim has been held captive by the mysterious voice and has been forced to give his side of the story concerning Kodos, which does involve Toq for he plays a vital role in the finding of the Executioner. After explaining the quarrel between he and Toq, Jim skips ahead to the point where he's chasing Kodos down at the classified planet. But he comes to a blank when he reaches the night with he and Bones are in the cell (which its then in chapter 22 that it's revealed that he's being interrogated this entire story), he can't remember anything that happened after that. Which makes his captor search deeper for the information, and realizing in Jim's rush to finish the story, he has skipped a valuable portion: how he gained the Enterprise after the Toq Incident, so Jim has to go back and explain in detail what happened. And now currently, Jim is being forced to retell his side of the story, explaining just how he kept the Enterprise, which will continue more into depth of just how he ended up on the planet chasing Kodos. But the more he is pushed, Jim is becoming more and more suspicious of the voice's intentions, because why is this information so important? And to who for that matter? Hopefully this clears all my crap writing up. Thank you for your patience.**

The pair manage to stumble all the way back to the apartment with Jim holding his stomach in, well, until they finally reach the toilet and he lets it all spill out. Bones can only quirk a brow and watch as his best friend heaves his stomach contents out into the toilet. He's shaking terribly after three minutes and Leonard still hasn't found it within himself to help the trembling blond through his midst of foggy confusion.

"…Bones…?" It's Jim's pitiful sob of agony that draws Bones' attention back on him, "Shit kid, you're a mess." The Doctor declares in sudden realization as he blinks away the haziness in his mind.

Jim just nods and clutches his stomach as he slides to the floor of the bathroom, covered in blood, vomit, and other stains Bones would rather not know of. "Maybe if you didn't drink so much…" Bones begins to grumble, stripping Jim of his shirt and pants before starting the shower, "…you wouldn't be feeling this sick. You damn bastard-" Bones pulls him to his feet, instantly steadying him, "-you should actually use that noggin of yours and think for once in your freaking life. It's hard enough for me to take care of all my hundreds of patients-" the Doctor guides him ever so gently into the hot stream of water, leaving his boxers on to keep some dignity that he probably doesn't deserve by now, "-and take care of you on top of all of it! You'd think I'd go crazy by now-believe me, I shoulda. But I'm too damn stubborn."

"Bones…" Jim moans, wanting nothing more than to hush the Doctor from his rant, which is only spiking his killer headache, "Shut up Jim, I ain't done." Bones threatens, forcing him to stand on his own as he dumps the shampoo on his muffled hair.

"Anyways, Jim, you needa learn when enough is enough. You freaking goddamn know that Klingon ale wreaks havoc on your insides; that horseshit is basically toxic to you! Yet you drank it anyways! What the hell Jim? I thought we were gonna save the Enterprise and get all this shit sorted through but apparently not because all you wanna do is throw your sorry excuse of a life down the drain!" Bones angrily fumes, all the while proceeding to clean Jim of all the dirt, but he never noticed the tears slipping down his own cheeks until Jim's subtle gasp of guilt broke his outburst.

"Oh Bones." Jim whispers and lunges forward, bringing his one true friend into a hug, and its then that Leonard finally lets it all out, crying into Jim's shoulder, not minding the water seeping into his once dry clothes.

The blond remains strong, firmly latching his arms around Bones' back while the older man buries his face into the croak of his neck, "Shit Jim-shit." Leonard chokes out between sobs, his breath hitching in the back of his throat.

Jim hushes him gently, playing with the brown hair beneath his fingertips.

Bones continues his frantic rambling, taking mighty gasps between sentences, "You bastard. Makin' me worry so much like that. I've had so much stress to kill a man hundred times over. Dealing with all this shit with Starfleet and Toq, and then your panic attacks. God Jim I thought you had anxiety attack and might've blacked out. I couldn't find you-I couldn't find you Jim."

This only buries Jim further into his regret and self loathing, he's digging a pit for himself and it's about to get deep.

"I'm sorry Bones. I so-so sorry." He breathes into Bones' ear, feeling the body pressed up against him shiver at his words, but he says it not for himself but for Bones. He needs to let Bones believe that there's a possibility that he can move past this, that he can push past the guilt of causing all this pain to his best friend.

"It's alright Jimbo, it's alright." Bones replies softly and takes one last shuddering breath before peeling apart to wipe his eyes clean of tears.

The blond offers an innocent smile and steps back into the running shower to finish washing up, and despite what just happened Bones still continues to wash Jim. He lathers Jim's body with soap to remove all the grime and scrubs him down. Once done he helps the blond out and into a warm towel to dry off.

The two remain silent, almost not wanting to break the sudden bond between them. It's been awhile since they've been comfortable within the silence of their relationship. It brings about a peace that settles deep in their hearts and is so heavy it pushes out all other feelings, leaving warmth within them.

"I'm sorry Bones." Jim apologizes again, stripping himself of his boxers while the Doctor takes a side glance away until the blond has pulled on a dry pair, "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have hit you like that earlier."

"Ah, I deserved that one." Jim replies with subtle grin that lets Leonard know that everything's going to be alright, that they'll live through this, that their relationship will live through this.

Bones smiles back before promptly thrusting a shirt and sweats into the blond's hands, "I'm gonna go fetch some medicine before you start puking out your guts again."

The starship Captain nods his head slowly, knowing that he'll have hell to pay tonight, Klingon ale murders his stomach. Bones sees the exhaustion tearing at his best friend, but doesn't mention it, simply turning away to grab his supplies for the night. Jim watches him leave before gathering the energy within himself to pull his shirt on and slip on his pants.

When Bones returns to the bathroom, Jim is panting and leaning against the wall. The Doctor sighs and wraps a supportive arm around the blond's waist and gently guides him out and towards the bed, where he has already pulled down the sheets and fluffed the pillow.

Jim grins stupidly, "You just know exactly the way I like it."

"That's what happens when you know someone for years." Bones returns the grin and deposits Jim on the cool bed, already feeling the heat waves washing off of the pale blond, "Maybe pants isn't the best thing for tonight." He prompts and Jim nods in understanding before yanking them off and dumping them on the floor.

Bones then grabs a hypo off of the nightstand, seeing Jim's pupils widen as it comes closer, "Stop being an infant."

"I don't want to be sedated." Jim says almost nervously.

The kid is still edgy after all the events with Toq, lying in a hospital for days will do that to him. But the Doctor can't blame him, he knows Jim is scared of being forced into sleep, for he fears something major will happened and they won't be able to wake the blond from his induced slumber. Also it brings about a grogginess and haze that only leaves him confused and fearful.

Sighing, Bones pats the kid's shoulder, "I promise I won't sedate you, it's just a pain reliever."

"Oh, okay."

With steady hands, full of decades of experience, he injects the hypo into his friend's neck, watching the blond's face as it scrunches up before the hiss, but slides into something of relief once the liquid is being circulated through his body. Bones feels reassurance once he sees Jim's eyes slip shut and he makes a little noise with the back of his throat in comfort.

The Doctor brings the blankets up, covering the blond before changing his own clothes to a simple shirt and sweats. He then glides underneath the covers on the other side, not wanting to sleep in a different bed because he knows Jim will find security with him closer, rather than further away.

He then shuts his eyes wearily; succumbing to the darkness swiftly, but only finds it for several hours before he is awoken but Jim's sharp movements.

Cracking open his eyes, Bones surveys the room, taking into account that his clock says it's three in the morning. He grunts and props himself up, trying to find the cause of his awakening. But it doesn't take long because the cause just so happens to thrash out and kick him in the side.

"Oww, damn it Jim." Bones grumbles, rubbing his ribs before checking on Jim.

The blond's temperature is through the roof, and his clothes have been soaked through with sweat, but that doesn't stop the blond from shivering every five seconds.

"Shit Jim." He breathes before scampering to his feet to fetch a wash cloth. Once thoroughly soaking it, he walks back over and places it on Jim's burning forehead, instantly causing a whimper to escape the younger man.

Bones smiles and brushes the blond strands to reveal the pale face, glowing in the darkness. With a heavy sigh, Leonard makes his way back over to his side of the bed, bringing himself once more underneath the warmth of the sheets. But they're too hot; they feel sticky against his exposed skin. He takes a glance at Jim, deciding whether or not if he should be furious with the blond, or feel some goddamn sympathy.

Jim has that affect on people. His personality is so spontaneous, chaotic, it's as if he has no sense of direction, which is right in more ways than wrong, and that drives some people over the edge, they can't handle his naturally adventurous and curious personality. But Leonard his learned, through trial and error, that he can't change Jim, he can only fill the holes and tape the cracks shut, hoping they won't burst into small uncollectable pieces. He has learned to coexist with Jim's personality and yet, sometimes that just isn't enough.

Here he is, watching the blond sleep. His chest rising and falling. Yet he can't find it within himself to be angry with Jim, despite all the crazy shit he has done in the past couple of days

He has accepted the fact that Jim can't change, the drunken nights, the late night tears, the sorrows, the self loathing, all of it will never end with Jim. It will continue on.

But over all of that, even his suicidal sacrificial lamb times, Leonard has learned to become Jim's bones, and if that isn't enough than he has no idea what is.

So, with all the acceptance in the world, with oceans to spare, Bones scoots closer to his only friend and wraps an arm around him, feeling the sweaty body, even in his slumber, edge closer to his side. The Doctor smiles, any thoughts of anger vanishing within the moment, because if he's come to any conclusions, he has certainly come to this, that wherever Jim is, his Bones will be, because they are glued together by the stars of the universe and nothing can separate their bond. One is not without the other. If one goes, the other shall follow. And certainly, a duo like that cannot find anger with themselves, for that hatred will only serve to shatter that bond, and Bones isn't gonna be the one to break it.

"Bones?"

Leonard shifts, blinking his eyes slowly open to welcome the pitiful sight of Jim bending over him, mouth hanging open in utter exhaustion, "Yeah kid?" His voice is gruff and falls between the soft hums of the fan nearby.

Jim can't help but let a small smile creep up on his lips, "Thank you."

"Go back to sleep you delusional idiot." Bones replies, but he too can't stop the smile from appearing on his face, and Jim takes it in as a sign, that Bones truly isn't mad and that things will be okay.

"Okay."

Bones watches as Jim settles back down, blowing a long sigh before his blue eyes slip shut once more, welcoming the blackness that meets him.

The Doctor stretches and relaxes his body back under the sheets, following Jim into the dream world.

Morning swings around swiftly, settling within the two deeply, for they both dreaded of what is yet to come. Bones wasn't quite ready to see the dull groggy expression blink into life on his friend's face, and he also wasn't ready for the vomit that comes next and the mumbled apology that barely escapes passed the trembling blond's lips.

Leonard can only groan and sit upright, the smell of throw up hitting his nostrils, causing his nose to wrinkle in disgust.

"You ready for the meeting?" Jim grins goofily from where he lies splayed out on the floor, giving an examining glance over at his own puke before promptly scrunching his nose in the same fashion.

Bones can't help but return the smile, "It's not me who has to be ready." He reminds softly and brings himself up, causally stopping before Jim to yank him to his feet, "Thanks," Jim manages to grunt, clutching his stomach protectively.

"Go take a shower, I'll clean up." Leonard promises, ruffling the golden hairs, Jim frowns, "I can clean it up Bones. I don't wanna be a burden." The blond refuses, but Bones' glare puts him back in his place, "No, go take a shower Jim, you smell worse than a dead klingon that rolled through tribble shit."

Jim giggles, "Tribble shit. Good one Bones." He then pats Bones' shoulder ever so kindly and trots off towards the bathroom, "I'm glad you offered, cause honestly I wasn't gonna clean it up."

"I know, now get in the shower Jim." Bones replies rather sharp, but it only because of the exhaustion still present on his features, "Even if you threatened to kick me out, I still wouldn't clean it." Jim adds, collecting some new clothes.

"Jim, get in the flipping shower before I grab you by the neck and make you lick the floor clean until it shines."

The blond gives one last look, a bright smile playing nicely on his face despite the evident paleness of his skin, "Love you too Bonesy."

"Screw off. Little shithead." Bones grumbles, but Jim has slammed the door, and he speaks to nothing but a vacant room.

With a roll of his brown eyes, Bones spins around on his heels and gives a huff. He always did hate cleaning up after Jim, but maybe one of these days it'll be worth it.

Jim runs the shower extra hot, even though his skin is clammy and heat is already radiating off of him in waves. He just can't convince himself that he needs a cold shower; the thought of one makes him shiver and his skin to rise with goose bumps.

Stripping himself of his boxers, it's then he realizes he has no shirt and he's wearing a different pair of boxers than what he had gone to bed with. Bones must've changed him.

Damn it.

Guilt ridden, Jim waits until he sees the steady flow of steam rising before he steps into the shower. The water scorches his skin yet he turns it up higher, letting the searing pain awaken him further. He can't believe Bones had changed him; it makes him squirm in slight embarrassment.

Bones is always caring for him, always making him feel better, he longs for that day when he can return that kindness. He certainly doesn't deserve it. Out of all their time together Jim can't really pinpoint a time of which it was reversed, where it was he who was taking care of Bones.

But then again, it doesn't help when he definitely has a death sentence, a bounty above his head. "Sacrificial lamb" as Bones puts it ever so sweetly. The southern Doctor is correct, to a certain degree that is. Personally, he doesn't purposely try to die; he just doesn't find the worth in living if his crew or friends have died when he knows he could've done something about it. So it's not really a suicidal act, more of a hero reputation that needs fluffing once in awhile, one of which Bones undeniably disagrees with.

He sighs, drawing a breath that comes in only to be forced out sharply.

Jim snatches the shampoo and douses himself with it, quickly running his fingers through his soapy hair to reach the base of his skull. Dunking his head underneath the stream, he lets the water slip through his hair and run down his spine, making him shiver despite the obvious hotness of the water itself.

He grunts before stopping the shower, not finding the energy to scrub his body, deciding that the water was enough to wash away the stickiness that was left on his skin from last night. Jim steps out, quickly pulling a towel around himself before giving himself a swift glance in the mirror. He doesn't like what he sees staring back after giving the mirror a good wipe down.

Bags have formed beneath his dull blue eyes, skin pale with blushes of red due to the overheated water, and the obvious skinniness of his body overall. His muscle tone definitely has taken a beating.

Weary, he rubs his eyes and blinks as if the man before him will disappear and become the man he once knew long ago.

"Hey Jim?" Bones' knock on the door brings his mind back to reality, drawing his gaze away from the ghost and to the living, "Yeah?" He drawls, itching at the scruff growing on his jaw line.

"Hurry up, you gotta eat before the meeting and I don't want you to be late. The Admiralty would be pissed." Leonard adds the last part in a bit of a threatening tone and he can just see Jim's eyes rolling from behind the locked door.

"M'kay mum." Jim mumbles, sorting through his clothes to find his boxers.

Bones huffs from his side, "Just hurry." And with that, the Doctor leaves, making his way to the crammed kitchen with simplistic replicators and a small table for eating the worthless shit.

Jim snorts and pulls on his boxers, followed by his backs pants and undershirt. He yanks on his socks and drapes his gold uniform over his shoulder before briefly swiping his hair off to the side and bursting through the door. Bones glances up from where he's seated at the table and gives the blond a menacing look.

"What?" Jim chimes innocently, a grin working its way on his face, revealing those gleaming white teeth.

"Don't even."

Jim shrugs, pretending not to care and simply discards his shirt and scrambles over to the kitchen, ordering some coffee and muffins from the replicator.

"Feeling better?" Bones asks, not glancing up from his oatmeal, which looks long past its prime in the sense of taste.

He shrugs again, searching for an answer that isn't coming quickly enough and Leonard easily picks up on the odd silence consuming him, "How's your stomach? Think you can handle coffee this morning?"

The blond huffs, snatching the cup and the replicated muffin before seating himself opposite of his best friend, a plastered grin edging on his lips. But it's so obviously fake that there's no point of trying.

"I can't tell if it's the klingon ale or the meeting that's making me feel nauseous." Jim admits, trying to take a sip at his coffee, but his face contorts into one of disgust so pointedly that there isn't a chance Bones missed it.

"How about your anxiety?"

Jim bristles at the question, body tensing, "I'm fine." Comes the strained reply, instantly clamming up, locking doors and slamming windows shut.

"You can't pretend it doesn't exist Jim." Bones points out, taking a bite and chewing slowly before building up the nerve to actually swallow it.

The blond shrugs shyly, "I don't want to talk about it."

This infuriates the Doctor further, eyes narrowing into icy daggers stabbing holes into Jim's skull, "After all this shit we've gone through, you aren't allow to say that, not to me."

Jim looks up, meeting Bones' intimidating gaze, "My life, my rules."

His grave just went from six feet to twelve feet deep.

"Your life? God Jim when has your life been your own? When did you earn the right to say that? I've saved you so many goddamn times. Too many times to count." Bones growls, hands curling into tight fists on the table's silky surface.

"Exactly the problem." The Captain replies, making Bones realize his own mistake, "Sorry Jim, I just can't keep trynna read your mind! I'm a Doctor damn it, not a telepathic vulcan." Leonard continues, his features softening.

He nods in understanding; he's pushed his friend enough. Bones has earned his trust over and over again, telling him simply what's on his mind is the least he can do.

"Bones, I'm worried." He draws out finally, he almost said scared, but that would be taking it too far.

"Worried over what?"

Jim shifts, "Everything I guess." He murmurs, glancing down at his coffee, taking the time to be interested in the deep rich brown swirling steadily in the mug.

"Everything?" Bones prompts incredulously, eyes once more narrowing, "Okay, not everything…" Jim begins, feeling his own anxiety rise.

Why is it so hard? It's Bones for crying out loud!

"I just don't think I'd be able to live if the Enterprise is taken away."

Bones nods, dropping his gaze to relieve Jim of some of the growing pressure, "I feel the same way Jim. Without the Enterprise I'm just a Doctor with no home and no family."

"Well nothing will change for you then." Jim states but can't hide the grin springing to life on his face. Bones snorts in response, rolling his eyes at the sneaky comment, "Would've smacked ya if you were any closer."

"Doubt it."

"Why is that?"

The blond's smile only grows, "Because you love me too much."

"Got that damn wrong you little piece of horseshit. Bend over and I'll show you how much 'I love'." Bones mocks jokingly and the two share a few laughs before settling back down comfortably in their chairs.

"Now I can't get that image outta my head." Leonard continues to grumble, sighing slowly to feel the tension melt away into peace that is evident on both of their faces.

No matter what, they'll be together to the end and they can find comfort within that, they have to. Because if they do not, what do they have?

"You ready?" The Doctor finally asks, the question they've both been dreading to hear, and now that it's out they can't help but cringe, "Yeah, just lemme get my shirt and boots on." Jim says before heaving himself out of the chair, leaving his half drunken coffee and untouched muffin on the table. Bones doesn't point it out; he knows if Jim actually ate something he'd just throw it up during the meeting. It'll take some time before the kid can actually stomach something and keep it down.

Jim returns to the room, his skin complexion looking ever paler against the bright golden sleeves of his captain's shirt. He tugs on his boots and quickly laces them up beneath the watchful eyes of the Doctor.

"Stop staring Bones." Jim mutters, switching over to his other foot to tie it, "I ain't staring, there's nothing to look at."

"Besides my ass. I know you've been looking at it." Jim remarks, a sly smile creeping on his lips, Bones just glares at him and crosses his arms, "I don't sway that way."

"I know, but nobody can resist my ass."

Leonard rolls his eyes, "Yeah, nobody can resist shoving their foot up it." He retorts and earns a chuckle from Jim.

"You're just jealous Bones." Jim replies and arches his back in long relieving stretch.

Bones can only plead to god that the butt thing will end ever sooner, "Let's leave before I ruin that smile with a hypo." He grunts and gets to his feet, picking up his jacket before heading to the door with Jim following close behind.

"I hate hypos." Jim mumbles, rubbing his neck unconsciously so.

"I know kid. I know."

The two then walk out the door, Jim quickly checking to make sure the door is locked before strolling up to Bones, trying to keep his head up but he just so happens to find the floor much more interesting. Bones makes note of the despair settling on his friend's face, but there's nothing more he can say to cheer the blond up as they glide down the stairs, Jim too paranoid to take the elevator.

Once at the bottom, they make greedy steps forward, Bones entering the morning air first, Jim right after. The Doctor offers the sky a glance and ends up squinting against its brightness; the blond just grins on the other hand and continues forth, his face deep in thought. Bones knows better not to disturb him when he's got that look on his face; he's planning, calculating, deciding, things that he has to do before the shit hits the fan.

It doesn't take long for the pair to reach the supposed building for Jim's 'interrogation' as the blond will more than likely put it afterwards. Through hell and back and now they want him to dive head first into the bloodied chaos left behind. Doesn't seem quite fair in the Doctor's opinion, but what say does he have in all of this? He's just a doctor, a doctor that has seen his friend hurt and broken too many times than any living thing should be.

"This is going to end badly isn't it?"

Bones crosses his arms with a huff, "Only if you make it."

Jim sighs, head hanging, letting his hair ruffle in the soft tumbling breeze. Bones studies him momentarily, seeing the young features of youth dance through the man's body. It's not every day Leonard witnesses this side of Jim, the young, vulnerable side.

"If they threaten…" Jim starts, but Bones interjects, "They won't." The blond looks at him but shakes his head, "They will Bones. And I'm willing to throw my whole career down the drain if that means keeping all of you guys safe."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Bones returns and is grateful for the kind smile he earns from Jim, "But be careful of what you say, they probably already got the story from Spock." The Doctor warns and the Captain nods his head, "Wasn't planning on lying Bones."

"Just making sure."

Jim exhales loudly, continuing his stride forward towards the Federation building, "Thanks Bones."

"No problem kid, just do me a favor."

The blond takes a glance at him, "What?"

"Come out in one piece."

Jim grins, that stupid grin, the one that has earned him more punches than kisses, "I'll try my best."


	25. A Sky Full of Stars

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 25: 'A Sky Full of Stars' _Coldplay_**

"Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God."

"Please state your full name, rank, and serial number for the record."

"My name is James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the USS Starship Enterprise, serial number SC937-0176 CEC."

"What is the date of your birth?"

"January 4th, 2233."

"Parents?"

"George and Winona Kirk."

"Siblings?"

"Sam Kirk. My brother."

"Alright, shall we proceed?"

"Yes."

"Please restate the events from the beginning of time concerning the Toq Incident."

Kirk composes himself, shifting his weight in the suddenly uncomfortable chair under the eyes of the Admiralty, sitting in a row in the darkened room. His inquisitor is someone he doesn't recognize, but he doesn't mind, just means the man won't poke into personal matters.

As he begins his ever long tale, he isn't surprised that the dark memories begin to clog into the forefront of his mind, wreaking havoc on his emotional stability. But he creates a wall between himself and those memories so he is capable of continuing on, but he's not sure how long the walls will last.

"…and that's when I discovered that the klingons had gotten aboard, after our engines short-fused and we drifted into the Neutral Zone."

"Why were you so close to the boarder?"

"Conducting research."

"Explain." The interrogator demanded rather sharply, making Jim almost rolls his eyes. Almost. "We were ordered by Starfleet to conduct research on the collapsing star."

"And what were the benefits of doing this?"

"We hoped that it would collapse into a neutron star, but unfortunately the supernova was larger than expected and when it did collapse the Enterprise was not ready."

"Did it eventually turn into a neutron star?"

Jim huffs, "I dunno, our asses-excuse my language-were grounded on the class M planet Superstes, guess we never had time to check."

"How come you were not able to maneuver a safe distance away from the supernova?"

The blond scratches at his now ruffled blond hair.

 _"Captain, it appears that the star we have been monitoring has become unstable. If we do not get the Warp engines back online, we may get hit with a supernova shockwave." Spock explains._

 _He rolls his eyes. Screw. His. Life._

"Well when I got out of the meeting with Admiral Ward, who just informs me of having a mole on board, the Warp Drive goes out and the Enterprise starts drifting. Then Doctor McCoy comms me and requests my presence at Sickbay so I gave my First Officer Spock the conn before I left to Sickbay."

"Why did Doctor McCoy request your presence?"

 _Spock's gaze narrows onto the Doctor, "Doctor McCoy, what exactly was your reasoning for having the Captain come to Sickbay?"_

 _"Ensign Yonder was put into critical condition." Bones drawls, his head hanging in defeat, Jim offers comfort by placing a firm hand on the man's shoulder._

"Ensign Yonder was stabbed in the chest by the mole and died…"

 _Jim gives Spock and look, but then settles back on Bones, "Where is Ensign Yonder now?"_

 _Bones huffs, "He's dead Jim."_

"…But at the time, he was still alive when Bones-I mean-Doctor McCoy requested my presence. He did not say due to fear of causing further chaos on the ship."

His interrogator nods slowly and meets his gaze once more, "So let me get this straight. The Enterprise was sent to investigate a collapsing star, which at the time you had a mole aboard who stabbed Ensign Yonder and then somehow cut off power to the Warp Drive, leaving the Enterprise to drift into the Neutral Zone where the klingons awaited, correct?"

Jim purses his lips, now understanding how ridiculous the whole thing sounds, "Yes, that is correct. General Toq led the attack against the ship, breaking into the Enterprise through the old recreation room."

 _He can hear something, people are inside. He steps into the room, his eyes adjusting to the inefficient light. He's creeping to the other side of the room when the outside wall gives a complaint._

 _Before he can even flinch the wall explodes, launching him backwards. He hits the ground with a disturbing crack, his head slamming onto the cold floor._

 _His vision blurs and blood fills his mouth._

 _He coughs harshly, watching figures walk past him, not even taking notice of his presence._

 _He closes his eyes, he doesn't know how long it's been when he opens them again._

 _He groans, grabbing his communicator._

 _"Spock…I think…there's klingons…" He pants._

"…Then the supernova went off, causing the Enterprise to crash onto Superstes. But by then I had already passed out due to injuries."

Jim can no longer stop his hands from shaking so he carefully places them in his lap. Trying to appear calm and composed in front of all the Admirals but it's just so damn hard.

 _"We're stuck Jim, crashed. She crashed Jim… we crashed her." Bones mutters, filling in the blank but also giving him a wash of regret and stupidity._

 _He remembers now, not too clearly, but just the gist._

 _"Crashed…?" He manages to mumble, his voice above a whisper and only croak._

 _"Yes Jim, we crashed the Enterprise."_

"You said that Ensign Yonder was killed by the same mole that sabotaged the Warp Drive. Who was the mole?"

Jim's eyes snap up from his lap, gaze hardening into one of steel and regret all at once, "Ensign Laura."

 _"Oh don't worry about the mole Captain, I've already dealt with it, actually you watched it happen." Toq snorts and Jim's face falls._

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Do you remember when I had you chained on the Bridge?" Toq asks and Jim's entire frame shudders at the memories he has been keeping at bay._

 _"Yes." He states firmly._

 _"Well Ensign Laura was my inside man. I couldn't have her talking later on just in case, so I had her brought to the Bridge and I killed her right before your eyes."_

"What happened to her?"

 _"Miss… Laura, did you trust Captain Kirk with your life?" Toq questions and Bones can see what the klingon's doing._

 _Toq's tearing him apart, mentally._

 _"Yes, of course, I think I say this for all the men and women aboard this ship that we trust him with our lives." Laura says firmly, holding her ground._

 _"What about Newman, do you think he thought the same thing as I literally snapped the life out of him?" Toq inquires, leaning over her._

 _"I do sir." The Ensign responds, still too stubborn to give in._

 _"Well how about now?" Toq growls, squeezing her throat, "See you're Captain is powerless, there's nothing he can do here. He has failed you all." The klingon sneers and proceeds to throw her against the wall._

 _The sound her head makes when it hits the floor is disheartening._

"General Toq killed her on the Bridge in hopes of stopping any secrets escaping through her." Jim replies, taking a heavy breath to relieve his mind of the pain welling inside.

"So General Toq, what were his intentions on taking over the Enterprise?"

 _Toq groans, "Very well, I guess you will hear it again. One year ago, two new flagships were released and were scheduled for inspections before duty. I so happened to see one of those ships."_

 _"What was the ship's name?"_

 _"Du'Ralle."_

 _"Alright, continue." Jim demands, leaning back in the chair._

 _Toq huffs at him, blowing a long exhale before starting up on his explanation, "As I was saying. I so happened to see one of those ships, the one I saw was the Du'Ralle. And at that time there was a very high price on your pretty blond head and the price was even better if you were brought back alive."_

 _"Kidnapping me would start an all out war." Jim points out._

 _"Not if you were to cross into the Neutral Zone, that means you violated the treaty and now we have all rights to arrest you." Toq grins devilishly._

"General Toq hoped that if he captured me along with Starfleet's flagship he'd earn the Du'Ralle, a new klingon flagship that was supposedly, top class." He responds rather slow and groans inwardly as his mind seems to shatter away.

"Skipping to the end, since we've already heard the exact details through First Officer Spock's interview along with your written testimony… how did you exactly gain control of the Enterprise?"

Kirk grinds his teeth, his brain racking for the answer that he buried so deep within to keep his sanity.

"For a while Bones and I were alone…"

 _"Bones…stop! Bones! Oww!" He yelps and squirms underneath the hands._

 _They're supposed to be gentle, they aren't today. The hands are in a bad mood._

 _"Stop your flinching baby." Bones replies ruggedly, bags forming under his eyes._

 _Bones is tired, too tired._

"…he uhh, he cared for me and kept me alive. Then we ran into Spock a little later and I ended up losing both of them when I got captured by some klingon guards while Spock and Doctor McCoy infiltrated Sickbay…"

 _Two pairs of arms pull him to his feet, shoving him upright. Struggling against them, he's unable to free himself. He's slowly dragged through the corridor, just wishing that Spock and McCoy will be able to find him._

 _His head hangs, blood seeping from his lips. His heartbeat is shallow. He glances groggily at the ground. His shadow, his shadow follows him. He must be truly broken if the only thing that follows him is his shadow, but the shadow isn't even his own and that worries him._

"…then next thing I knew General Toq had me and he chained me to the Captain's chair where he proceeded to murder Ensign Newman and Laura. And after a quick recess…"

 _"They're dead because of me Bones…they're dead…" His voice cracks and so does his heart._

 _"Jim, there was nothing you could have done about it. If it's anyone's fault, it's all of ours, not just yours." Bones reassures him._

 _He sniffles, letting some tears slide by. He knows Bones is trying to reconcile him, but it's not working. It'll probably never work._

 _"Jim, you're gonna have to let go of this. Or none of us is gonna make it out alive, you understand me?" Bones says, leaning down to look at his face._

 _He doesn't meet Bones' gaze, he can't._

 _"Do you understand damn it?" Bones snaps, grabbing his shoulders and jostling him._

 _He peers up at Bones, tears steadily flowing from his crystal blue eyes._

"…Toq decided to show off little. You see during the several days Doctor McCoy and I spent trying to stay alive, the klingons were repairing the ship. But also during that time, First Officer Spock sabotaged their repairs and General Toq was unable to bring the Enterprise back online..."

 _"Release our Captain now General Toq, or face the consequences of your actions." A calm voice states over the ship's speakers._

 _Toq freezes, letting go of his throat. He gasps for breath, sucking in the much needed oxygen. He looks over at Bones, the Doctor was mouthing something._

 _"You vulcan bastard." Bones breathes, looking up at the ceiling almost imagining the vulcan appearing._

 _He smiles, guess Spock was doing something helpful after all._

"…Spock got into the system and distracted General Toq by holding a conversation with him over the ship's speakers and then at the right moment, he sent off an EMP. It took out everything. All the lights went out including the emergency lights…"

 _All equipment and outside electrical devices went out. An EMP swept through the whole ship. Everyone falls silent. Suddenly phasers go off and the sounds of punches being thrown can be heard across the Bridge._

 _He begins to struggle against the restraints. He has to find Bones; he has to find Bones now. Damn it._

"…And I managed to get out of my restraints, but not before Doctor McCoy planted a bomb in the middle of the Bridge..."

 _The explosion made a great popping sound which shattered everyone's eardrums that were close enough and if they were lucky, their ears were only ringing. The room instantly became smoky and hot and most of the equipment shattered from the initial blast._

"…Fortunately the crew was able to take cover before the blast, including myself. But Doctor McCoy was caught in the blast and ended up being critically injured in the process…"

 _Fatigued, weary, bloody, and exhausted mentally and physically, more than anyone else in the entire ship, He is the first one to his feet. Heart pounding he runs, jumping over large chunks of shrapnel and over littered either dead or moaning bodies of klingons and crewmen._

 _Bones, goddamn it, Bones._

 _He nears his friend and his run slows slightly, a shaky hand covering his lips. The Doctor is sprawled out across the floor, bloody and bruised._

 _"Bones…? Bones!" His voice chokes up as he collapses at the good Doctor's side._

 _"Oh my god, Bones!"_

"Captain Kirk? Are you alright?" The interrogator's voice snaps him out of his haze. He blinks, clearing his foggy mind and meets the concerned face, "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

"Do you wish for a twenty minute break before we continue?"

Kirk nods, "Yes, thank you."

With that the Captain gathers to his feet and makes a hasty, yet calm, retreat to the door. Once out he's met by Bones' big brown eyes, filled to the brim with worry and anticipation. Jim stares back, finding all the comfort in the world in those eyes. It's just what he needed.

"That was fast." Bones comments and comes closer, unsure if Jim in on the verge of ripping someone's throat out or about to burst into a million pieces due to the self loathing.

"We're taking a twenty minute break." He replies almost robotically, but it's all he can manage through the growing lump in his throat.

"Okay, there's a coffee place down the street, we can head there and come back." Bones offers, but Jim knows better, Bones' simple offer isn't an invitation but a strict order.

He nods his response, "Just lemme use the restroom first."

"Alright, I'll wait here."

Jim doesn't wait further; he heads for the closest bathroom and immediately enters the stall and locks it. He sucks in a shaky breath before reluctantly throwing up stomach acid into the white toilet. The taste lingers on his tongue and the burning sensation settles deep within his throat. His stomach rolls again, he just clutches onto the toilet, hoping he won't pass out from his sudden dizzy spell. He remains there for quite some time, eyes squeezing shut while he tries to regain his breath. But the harder he tries, the more light headed he feels.

He slumps to the floor, one hand gripping the toilet rim tightly while the other tears into his golden hair, nearly ripping it out by the roots. He licks his dry lips and tilts his head upwards, harsh pants escaping his mouth.

"Jim?" Bones' careful tone barely pulls him from his fuzzy blur of bleariness.

"Bones." His statement runs chills through the Doctor's spine and he doesn't hesitate to find the one and only stall that's occupied, "Open the door Jim."

Jim gazes over at the locked door, but he can't find the strength within himself to stand up and unlock it. So he settles with a desperate whimper that causes Bones' heart to tighten in sympathy.

"Okay-okay, I'll climb underneath the door." Leonard grumbles, his southern accent really getting his grumpiness across.

Thank god for old-fashioned bathroom stalls.

Bones slips under, dragging his body fully to the other side before brushing the dirt and grime from his suit. He then stares over at Jim, watching as his chest falls up and down faster than a rabbit's.

He's hyperventilating.

"You damn bastard." Bones whispers and yanks Jim forcefully into a hug, one of which smells of vomit and sweat, and takes place on the floor of bathroom stall, typical Jim Kirk style.

The Doctor breathes in Jim's scent through his blond ruffles, reminding the Leonard that Jim could use a haircut. Add a shave to that list as well.

Jim has become completely still, his chest no longer rising and falling so quickly. Bones takes a glance down, but the blond has his face buried into his shoulder, arms hooked underneath his armpits. Despite the slight ache in his back and the building tension in his quads, he remains in place, holding the blond steady in hopes of grounding him.

With a sharp inhale, Jim pulls away and sits back, staring into Bones' eyes, gratitude gleaming ever so obviously in his bright blue eyes, "Thanks Bones."

"No problem kid." Leonard replies with the normal grin, "No, thanks Bones." Jim insists, causing Bones' head to tilt in confusion, "You're welcome? I dunno what you want me to say."

Jim chuckles softly and how it is a blessing to Leonard's deprived ears, "Don't say anything Leonard."

The fact that Jim used his first name sends red flags waving through his head, but he pushes down the disturbed feeling and offers his Captain a smile. Jim accepts the smile and gets to his feet, but wobbles and almost tumbles over if it isn't for Bones' caring hands steadying him by the elbow.

"Let's get out of here and get that coffee." Bones suggests and unlocks the door after giving the toilet a quick flush.

He brings Jim to the sink and lets the blond wash himself up before heading out the bathroom door with a plastered grin on his face. Bones knows it's fake, but he also knows he's just doing it for the public. If Bones didn't know any better, he'd think Jim didn't just puke his guts out and nearly melt into a heap of self pity.

If Bones hadn't shown up when he did, Jim would've crashed. But that doesn't mean he won't crash later. The Doctor is positive as soon as they get back to the apartment Jim will breakdown. Which he can't blame him for. Starfleet is picking at scabs. Jim hasn't had enough time to heal; it isn't fair for the blond.

But what about this whole thing has been fair?

They walk side by side once more, Jim refusing any comfort or support from Bones. It's the simple things. Jim won't let Bones walk a step ahead, nor will their shoulders graze in stride. The blond's back to pushing but Bones is cemented and he isn't going anywhere. No matter how hard Jim shoves, Bones isn't falling. The blond will have to pray to God and march around with trumpets to bring down the walls of Jericho.

"Bones?"

The Doctor glances over, seeing that Jim has stopped walking and now stands still, head hanging and gaze cast down to the sidewalk, "Yeah Jim?" He replies, approaching slowly, his steps graceful and also soundless as he nears.

"I'm not sure if I can do this."

Jim isn't shoving, he's digging, and he's digging quickly. His grave has long past the standard six feet deep. But if Jim's digging, than Bones will grab a shovel and fill it before the blond has time to place his coffin at the bottom.

"Don't be absurd Jim. Of course you can do it. You're James T. Kirk. You saved the goddamn world and just defeated Toq! God Jim this is a piece of cake compared to those times." Leonard points out, resting a gentle hand on the Captain's shoulder.

Jim accepts the slight reassurance from the physical contact, but it only lasts seconds before he brushes Bones' hand away in slight annoyance that he can't stop from showing on his face, "During those times I was just trying to live! I was trying to get through it. I should only have to live through something once. Not see you…" Jim trails off, his voice dropping to a low murmur.

"What Jim?" Bones prompts, crossing his arms to keep his hands from nervously patting away on his thighs.

The blue eyes glance up, "I shouldn't have to relive the explosion Bones."

Bones freezes. He too had relived through those memories many times over, seeing the images of Jim's crying face hovering right over him. But those memories he had the right to keep to himself, unlike Jim who is now being forced to share his side of the story in front of the Admiralty.

"Jim…"

"I was so angry Bones. Angry with the klingons, with my crew, with Toq. With myself. I just wanted it to be over."

"It is over."

Jim shakes his head somberly, "It isn't over Bones. It never will be, they just keep coming, poking and stabbing until all that's left is bones…" The blond stops himself from going further, blinking a few times to clear his mind of his thoughts, Bones too stunned to speak.

"Look kid…" Bones begins, starting to guide Jim down the sidewalk once more, towards the nearing coffee shop, "I know it can be hard sometimes but you just gotta hold on."

"Hold onto what?"

"Me, hold onto me Jim."

Jim suddenly feels satisfied with Bones' answer, but still he hangs his head and lets Bones lead him away with the vice grip on his bicep. They reach the coffee place in no time and they order some drinks, grateful for the warm-non replicated-caffeine currently in their hands.

It doesn't take long until their time has grown short and they have to make a hasty return to the building. Jim's face only grows more into a frown the closer they get to their destination. Indignation rises in Bones' chest, but there's not much he can do as he watches Jim gulp down the rest of his coffee and head back into the interview room. This leaves Bones to inwardly groan and slump back down onto the familiar couch.

The blond breathes calmly as he takes his seat once more, catching the flicker of movements coming from the Admiralty as they settle back down to hear his testimony. Not that he cares much, but the fact that they're hidden in the shadows unnerves him slightly.

"Thank you Captain for joining us once more…" The interrogator begins, shuffling through some files while also bringing out a PADD.

"My pleasure." He whips out a Jim Kirk grin, hoping that they don't see the strained lines in his face as he forces the smile out.

"So Captain, please continue where you left off, then we need to go back and review a certain detail that the Admiralty find interesting. They only wish further questioning in that area, that's all."

Jim nods, letting the fake smile fall from his lips as he ponders where exactly to pick up the story. His inquisitor lets him summon it up on his own instead of easily reading off his handwritten notes right in front of him.

"Right… the explosion."

 _Everyone in the room is frozen, standing completely still._

 _The green light gets brighter and brighter and Bones gathers to his feet quickly._

 _"Bomb!" The Doctor shouts and within that split second, two things happened._

 _One: all crew members dropped to their stomachs and covered their heads. And two: the explosion went off, taking all the klingons out and one unlucky Doctor._

"Doctor McCoy was critically injured and I tried to help him before my crew, and McCoy himself encouraged me to go after General Toq…"

 _"Re-remember what I-I said earlier?" Bones questions._

 _He nods his head; the ship is his top priority, "The Enterprise." He whispers softly and Bones smiles._

 _"Yes, the Enterprise James." Bones grins, stroking the side of his face, "Protect her James. Go get him."_

"…so I proceeded to chase down General Toq after Ensign Chekov handed me phaser and sent me out the door. Along the way there I ran into my First Officer Spock…"

 _"Captain!" A voice calls out and he twirls around, firing his weapon right by the person's head._

 _"Shooting me would be highly illogical Captain. The proficiency of this ship would drop-" Spock starts but he cuts him off, rushing to his First Officer's side._

 _"Spock! Thank god Spock." He gasps, lowering his phaser and wrapping the stoic vulcan into a hug._

 _Spock just raises an eyebrow at him, "This action is not logical and is very uncomfortable if I may add."_

 _"Shut up you pointy-eared bastard." He grumbles, still hugging his vulcan friend._

"We then tracked down General Toq, he had three guards with him but Spock easily took them out and I went after Toq."

 _The klingons seem fairly surprised as he and Spock bound the corner, weapons firing into the black._

 _General Toq runs as soon as he makes eye contact. Spock is left to deal with the guards as he takes off sprinting in the direction of the General, willing to end all of his demons. Spock lets him go, keeping the task firmly at the three guards._

 _He sprints down the halls, his legs shaking with each step. All the cuts, bruises, fractures, and torn muscles seeming to fade into one throbbing pain along with his desire of revenge. He longs for it; it's the only thing that will quench his unending thirst. He must do this, for Bones and for the Enterprise._

"I managed to reach him in time, but Toq still had the upper hand with his vast strength. Fortunately First Officer Spock was able to rendezvous with me. And together we took down General Toq, thus ending the klingon attack on the Enterprise."

 _He's still punching when Toq falls unconscious and he's still punching when Spock shouts his name but receives no answer._

 _Body trembling, arms wrap around him, pulling him off of the bloody klingon's chest._

 _"No! No!" He screams, fighting back the vulcan's arms to throw in a few more punches at Toq._

 _"Captain! Jim!" Spock yells, pinning his arms down and pulling him aside._

 _But he doesn't listen; no he has to finish the job. Toq must die, for Bones. So he keeps fighting, shoving Spock away and scrambling back to the General's unconscious body only to be picked up forcefully and pulled away once more._

 _He's spun around and Spock meets his gaze, "Jim you must calm yourself."_

 _He stares back at his friend, shaking within the vulcan's grasp, "Spock…Bones." He whispers, his voice cracking._

 _Spock gives him an understanding nod and pulls him into a hug, bringing strong arms around him. He gives in, grasping onto Spock's shoulders after looping underneath the vulcan's arms. They stand there, Spock holding him until he stops shaking from exhaustion and desperation._

"…We tied up General Toq and we went back to the Bridge. From there I gave out the orders and the injured were taken to Sickbay and Mister Scott rounded up the security teams and freed up the remaining crew. Sulu and Chekov worked on getting our systems online and First Officer Spock oversaw the repairs. Once I was sure that the Enterprise was in good hands I turned myself into Sickbay to be checked where I remained there for twelve days total before being released."

Jim takes a breath, letting silence consume them before continuing, "We then made the necessary repairs and upgrades for the Enterprise and in a little over four weeks we got the engines back online and we made our trip back to Earth while the whole time we kept the klingons aboard our ship. And now, here we are."

"Thank you Captain, only a few more questions." The man pauses before him, setting something up on his PADD before glancing up at him, "Now please, I want you to listen to this and afterwards I will ask you some questions concerning the audio recording."

Jim nods, his stomach twisting into a tight knot. Shit this can't be good. The interrogator presses the button and immediately Jim's face falls. He's doomed. He failed. He promised to protect his crew, but now he's screwed and there's no way he can protect them now.

The recording is all too familiar. It was one of the shortest meetings he's ever had, but in all he felt like it was one of the longest. He can't recall why, maybe he was outright bored, or maybe he just wasn't in the mood. But whatever it was, it causes his heart to rip as he hears his own words echo back to him.

The audio sizzles into life.

 _"Captain Kirk."_

 _"Admiral, I wasn't expecting you to be hailing."_

 _"Yes, sorry about that, I would have given you a heads up. But this is serious Captain."_

 _"So serious that you have to distract me from my important duties of a starship Captain?"_

 _"Watch the sarcasm Captain, if you don't handle this correctly, it can end badly."_

 _"Sorry Admiral."_

 _"Now, Captain you are alone yes?"_

 _"Very well then. I am here to inform you of some troubling news…Starfleet has reason to believe you have a mole aboard the Enterprise."_

 _"You must be mistaken…"_

 _"I'm afraid not Captain, appears some of the Enterprise's records have been stolen and have made it across the Neutral Zone."_

 _"We have reason to believe that this traitor or insider is in league with the klingons, or possibly the romulans."_

 _"Starfleet orders you to pull away from the border and head directly for the closest Starbase, there the Enterprise will be on official shore leave until we get this whole ordeal sorted out."_

 _"Sir, with all due respect, I believe I can handle my crew accordingly and can decide the next course of action."_

 _"It isn't a choice Captain Kirk, this is a direct order from Starfleet. Direct violation of this order can lead to court martial, as you very well know Kirk."_

 _"Admiral, permission to speak freely sir."_

 _"Granted."_

 _"The Enterprise needs to stay here a few more hours, for we are currently conducting valuable research-"_

 _"Captain, I know of you and your infamous records, you shall report back immediately and drop any current missions or research you are conducting. Understood?"_

 _"Understood. Admiral?"_

 _"Yes Captain?"_

 _"I have an away team; it will take some time to retrieve them."_

 _"No bullshit Kirk."_

 _"Not shitting you sir, the planet has some furious storms co-merging in the atmosphere so it may take some time to receive contact and be able to beam them up through the magnetic storm."_

 _"Alright, you got four hours to hull your ass out of there, or Starfleet is gonna have your head on a silver platter."_

 _"Looking forward to it sir."_

 _"I'm serious Kirk; you can get in real trouble for this. Just get your ass to Starbase ASAP. I don't want any heads to roll today."_

 _"Completely understood sir, no rolling heads."_

 _"And Kirk, watch the sass. You're lucky you only had to deal with me."_

 _"Sorry Admiral, won't happen again. Captain Kirk out."_

The recording comes to a static end before the interrogator promptly turns off the PADD and glances over his questions.

Jim shifts nervously in his chair. They've found it. They finally got dirt on him and there's no way to stop them from smothering it all over him.

"Captain Kirk, you mentioned earlier in your statement that Admiral Ward informed you of a mole on board, how come you did not also mention the direct orders from Starfleet you received also that day?"

Kirk pauses. He has to tread lightly. He's playing with fire here and he knows it. It' about to get hot.

"I did not find any reason in mentioning it because our Warp Drive was incapable of getting us to the Starbase in the first place." Jim defends himself confidently, hoping that was enough to get them off his back, but they're now breathing down his neck.

"Captain you said that you were conducting research. Please restate what you were researching for the record."

Shit-shit-shit-shit.

"We were conducting research on the collapsing star." He states firmly, trying to push down his rising anxiety.

"Then please Captain Kirk, explain why you claimed to have an away team stuck on a planet with 'magnetic storms'. The closest planet to you at the time was Superstes, but that is across the Neutral Zone and in klingon space. That would be breaking the treaty."

He can barely breathe now. They have him backed up into a corner.

"Captain?" His inquisitor urges and Jim finally gives in, blowing out an exasperated sigh before calmly placing his hands on the table.

"I lied to Admiral Ward. There was no away team and there was no planet. I believed at the time that the best thing for the wellbeing of my crew and of my ship was to remain there and resolve the issues at hand." He gives in, letting the truth slip easily from his lips.

"To what issues do you refer Captain? At the time of your meeting the Warp Drive was still on and nothing had happened yet."

"When Admiral Ward told me that I had a mole on board, I will admit that I did not wish to return to the Starbase. I feared that it would take too long for Starfleet to find the person. I wished to take matters into my own hands so I told him that we had an away team stuck on a planet to buy some extra time." Jim is so close from falling apart that it's becoming evident on his face. But the questioner doesn't stop, he continues on, making the blond's chest restrict.

"Captain Kirk, you do realize that if you had followed Admiral Ward's instructions that the Enterprise would have never have crashed onto Superstes and all of the lives of your lost crew would have been saved?"

"I do." He wheezes, blinking fiercely to make the tears die down before they fall down his face.

"Captain Kirk, there are no more questions. You are free to go. But I must warn you. You must be in your assigned apartment before eight o'clock tonight and must remain there until security arrives to pick you up at six in the morning. You know the procedures."

He just nods, knowing full well of what is yet to come.

It's over. Bones is right. But he remembers Bones' instructions. Hold onto me.

Jim steps out of the room, finding the Doctor snoring away on the couch. Slumped over in exhaustion. He smiles, coming to his friend's side before proceeding to scoop him up into his arms. It's been awhile since he's carried someone the size of Bones, but he manages because he has to.

He makes it outside in no time, bottling up his feelings and keeping his raging emotions at bay. He'll just have to hold out for a little longer before he can hold on and brace for the storm.

They make it back to the apartment in one piece, Bones still sleeping in the Captain's arms as they enter the room. Jim proceeds to place him softly onto the couch and throw a blanket over him after yanking off his Starfleet issued boots.

Fatigued, mentally and physically, Jim lands harshly to the apartment floor and lets his head lull back and rest upon the couch by Bones' knees. His eyes slip shut quickly and he welcomes the blackness that he succumbs to, releasing the nightmarish hell called his memories.

He wakes in feverish sobs, his body sticky with sweat and his skin pale. Jim blinks rapidly and wipes away the tears, finding that Bones is still sound asleep on the couch where he had left him. He checks the time, it's only nine, but the sky has already darkened.

With as sigh he gets up and heads for the door, and despite his strict orders to stay in his room, he leaves, locking the door behind himself knowing that Bones will be after him. He makes a b-line for the exit and welcomes the refreshing air that soaks into his skin.

Jim walks for some time, until he finds a nice quiet place on the grass to gaze up at the stars. As he lays back, eyes beginning to droop once more, he can almost imagine the Enterprise up there, shining with all her brilliance that surely he did not deserve. This has become much more than he and Bones, if he wants to stay with Bones he'll have to keep the Enterprise. But the Enterprise seems just out of reach.

He pauses, the sky full of stars twinkling down upon him as he ponders to himself.

He already knows what's going to happen. Tomorrow morning their coming for him, the Federation, and they'll lock him away for mutiny. He'll be surprised if they even give him a fair trial.

The blond sighs once more and accepts his fate amongst the stars and amongst the living.

 **Author's Note: Hey thanks yall for the reviews! It means the world to me when yall share your thoughts :) I hope yall are enjoying the story so far (I think I've pulled it together…somewhat). This is the quickest update I've had in awhile and I'm sorry for that, just been so busy with school. Well thanks yall for everything, without you guys I'd be nowhere. Live Long and Prosper.**


	26. Gravity

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 26: 'Gravity' _John Mayer_**

He blinks slowly, hands and feet pushing into the soft couch as he stretches his muscles. With a yawn he pulls himself upright and finds the apartment unsettling quiet. No snores, no music, no sizzling of food, not even a hum of fan is ringing out and that worries him.

Gathering to his feet hastily, the room spins as the blood rushes to his head. He leans against the couch briefly to regain his vision before searching through the apartment for Jim. But the blond is nowhere in sight. He checks the time; it's midnight. When did they get home? How long ago was the meeting? When did Jim leave and why?

Questions swirl through his mind, but they leave answerless as he shoves them away and heads for the door. Bones snatches his coat and puts on his boots before heading outside, closing the door behind himself.

With a sigh he heads down the stairs and to the first floor, welcoming the fresh air that fills his lungs. The night sky is beaming brightly with stars that glint off of the glass buildings surrounding him.

Fog billowing from his mouth, he sticks his hands in his pockets and hastens his pace, continuing his search for Jim. As time ticks, the air only seems to drop in temperature, making him shiver with blue lips.

This seems pointless. When Jim doesn't want to be found, he isn't going to be found. It's as simple as that. But the fact that Jim is out there by himself, probably freezing his ass off, scares Leonard and drives him to keep looking.

The burden of Jim always seems to weigh down on, even though he knows the blond tries not to. That's why he runs off without saying, that's why he shuts himself away, that's why he keeps things to himself. He doesn't want to be that burden. But he is and there's no changing that, it's just something Bones has learned to live with. Jim will always make his heart heavy, but he's thankful for it. Without it, how would he know that he's still alive?

"Doctor McCoy." The greeting sends him two feet too many into the air and a string of curses to unleash in fiery hell that he hopes the person will forgive him for.

"God, yes, that's me." Bones rambles slightly and finally turns towards the person only to find a certain pointy ears and sharp eyebrows. His face falls, "Damn it Spock. What the hell are you doing out here?"

"I heard about the Captain's interview and I came to acquire his status." Spock explains, hands folding behind his back in their normal position. McCoy's mouth just hangs agape, "At twelve in the morning Spock?"

"I listened to the audio of the entire interview. I needed time to…time to compose myself." Spock ends awkwardly, and for once his gaze darts away seeking some relief from his embarrassment which Leonard easily picks up on.

"Shit, was it that bad?" Leonard gasps, eyes widening in shock, "He did not inform you himself?" Spock's gaze narrows critically and watches the Doctor chew on his lower lip in a nervous habit.

"I fell asleep and he must've taken me back to the apartment. But when I woke up he wasn't there, so now I've been looking for him."

The vulcan nods rather slowly and his eyes scan across the opening that they currently stand in, taking in the surroundings. "I believe I may be of some assistance."

"Damn right. Wasn't gonna keep searching by myself after running into you."

Spock nods again.

"So, any ideas Spock?" He prompts, arms crossing over his chest and pursing his lips as he surveys the immediate area, hoping that maybe just maybe he'd catch a flicker of movement, but there's none but the gentle chilling breeze brushing through the foliage.

"I believe I may have some." Spock begins and strolls away with Leonard on his heels.

The two walk in silence together for some time, keeping watchful eyes on the passing buildings and alleyways, searching for the one person that actually holds their lives together. Without Jim, he and Spock would never have conversed words with each other. Hell most of the time they argue, but usually it's just playful banter that makes Jim's face light up with the gleaming smile and it's always worth it if he gets to see that grin. But without Jim, there's no point. That's why he's gotta find him, that's why they gotta get Jim and save the Enterprise.

All for that damn devilish smile.

Because god knows that if the Enterprise is taken away, James Tiberius Kirk will fall off the face of the earth, hell, he'll fall off of the face of the universe while he's at it.

"Spock, what happened in the meeting?" Leonard suddenly breaks the silence and he swears he almost heard Spock sigh before answering, "It appears that Jim is in trouble with the Federation. He could possibly be facing court martial, depending on what next course of action Starfleet decides on."

"Shit, how can that be?"

Spock glances at him, eyes full of knowledge beyond Leonard's comprehension, "Jim lied to Admiral Ward during the meeting. The one on the day of the Enterprise's crash."

"Moron." The Doctor mutters under his breath.

"Indeed."

Leonard sighs, running a hand through his hair, "What does that mean for Jim? For us?"

"I do not know Doctor. But according to Jim's interrogator, Officer Huss, Jim will be taken away at o'six hundred hours and must stay in his quarters until they come to retrieve him."

Leonard laughs dryly, "Damn idiot didn't follow protocol, that's for sure."

Then silence once more consumes them and Leonard's gaze falls to the floor, taking the time to be fascinated by his own shoes scuffing against the pavement. It's Spock's hopeful tone of voice that brings him out of his haze.

"Doctor." Spock states, pointing a finger off to the side where a slumped over figure lies curled up in a tight ball.

McCoy nods, his throat restricting as he draws closer to the form.

Light shines down on the person, golden hair reflecting the starlight. The man has his arms wrapped around his legs and his face is buried in his knees. He lies on top of soft grass that rustles as the wind blows through.

"Jim?" Bones calls cautiously, but the golden hair and uniform make it so obvious that there's no need to question the identity of the man.

Jim stirs slowly and his crystal blue eyes peel open to welcome the figure looming over him. Frightened he scurries away and reaches for a phaser that isn't there.

"Jim-Jim it's me-it's Bones." The Doctor reassures and crouches down beside him.

The blond stares up at him, lips blue and limbs numb from the cold. Golden strands of hair fall flatly over his gleaming eyes and his skin is rather pale considering the amount of time spent sunbathing.

"Bones." The word uttered forth is barely choked out, but yet it's all that's needed to bring a gentle smile to play nicely on Leonard's face.

"Yeah, c'mon. It's time to get you inside." Bones huffs and gathers Jim in his arms and hauls him to his shaky feet.

Bones nearly drops him, but Spock comes on the other side and snatches Jim's arm to sling it around his own shoulders.

The trek back to the apartment is a swift one full of quiet. No one dared to speak. Bones was rather surprised that Jim didn't meltdown, the blond kept it all together, not even a frown sprung to his face during the trip back. Which it doesn't entirely bother Bones, but still, the kid didn't even show one emotion. Jim seemed to outdo Spock on the whole 'I have no emotions' bravado and that's saying something.

When they reach the door, Bones leaves Jim's weight up to Spock as he unhooks Jim's arm from his shoulders and opens the door for them all. He swings it open and lets Spock drag a half sleeping Jim into the room before following behind to shut the door.

"Thanks Spock." Bones breathes once they have Jim snuggled up on the couch with plenty of blankets piled up on top of his shivering frame.

"You are welcome Doctor. Jim would have done the same for any of us if we were reversed." The vulcan points out and gazes upon their sleeping Captain with so much compassion that it makes Leonard's heart flutter.

Of course Spock cares about him too. The whole damn crew cares and here he is, selfishly keeping Jim all to himself. It isn't right and it isn't fair to Jim.

"How's the crew?" Leonard swallows, arms folding across his chest while also staring down at Jim's resting form.

"Anxious. Anxious for their Captain."

The Doctor sighs, "Do they know?"

"No, not yet. But they must soon. They can't stay in the dark."

"They need to know now. Before Jim's taken away." Leonard mutters, eyes blinking several times before offering the vulcan a glance, "I shall return and inform them."

"How far away are you guys?"

"Twelve minutes and forty-five seconds walk away." Spock informs him causally and the Doctor can't stop his eyes from rolling, "You can't ever just put it simply can you?"

"Must you always question my ways Doctor?" Spock replies with a cocked eyebrow, "Do you always have to answer a question with another question?" Leonard retorts sharply with a huff.

"Does that bother you?"

"God Spock." Leonard gives in and throws his hands up in defeat before promptly letting them fall back by his sides.

"I think it is time that I inform the crew of the situation. Hopefully we'll be able to come and visit before Jim's departure. But I must hurry, for the crew as well has been assigned to stay within their rooms until interviewed, so they must not be spotted in Jim's quarters." Spock says, bringing reality back.

He nods in understanding, mentally sighing. The crew is being questioned as well, but of course not to Jim's degree. They're being placed in interviews and counseling meetings mainly to deal with the trauma and to see whether anybody else was in league with General Toq, not just Ensign Laura.

Leonard crouches down beside Jim's head, stroking the golden hairs back to reveal the ashen face with chapped lips. Softly he places a hand on the blond's forehead, feeling the warmth soak into his own skin.

"Did the Captain catch an illness?" Spock asks, the question taking Leonard by surprise, "His forehead's a little warm, but he should be fine. Serves him damn right for being outside without a coat." He grumbles and draws his hand away from Jim's head as he stands back upright beside Spock.

"I am glad that it was not something more harmful. I must admit that I feared for the Captain's safety after hearing the interview." Spock says openly and walks to the door with McCoy at his side, "I worry for him too. But there's not much we can do. It seems that his life is out of our hands now."

Spock just nods in response before making a quiet farewell and heading out the door, leaving Bones with a sleeping Captain on the couch.

Briefly squeezing his eyes shut, he closes the door and makes a tired trip back to the couch, collapsing by Jim's head to stare into his sleeping face.

"Is Spock gone now?" Jim asks hoarsely, his voice making Bones' skin crawl, "I didn't know you were awake. And yes, he's gone."

Jim nods blearily and lets a tremor run through him, "I just heard a lil." He mumbles, his eyes barely opening to take in the image of Bones' face gazing directly into his.

"Just rest Jim. Somehow you managed to make an idiot of yourself…again." Bones murmurs, feeling his forehead again, just for reassurance, before quickly bringing the blanket up to cover Jim's shoulders.

The blond moans and coughs into the blanket before his body is wracked with more shivers. Bones seems to helplessly watch momentarily, eyes searching deep into Jim's face for the answer. Just why?

"I needed to get out. To get away." Jim mutters blindly, and Bones wonders if he had thought aloud, "And no damn it, I'm a captain, not a mind reader. I just know you that well Bones."

Bones stares into his now open eyes, seeing the love and warmth within those ocean blue irises. They are truly brighter than the stars. They hold his world together. Without them where would they be?

"Get away from what Jim?"

Jim sighs, "From myself."

"That's not possible Jim." Bones comments with a huff, his own eyes beginning to droop in the same fashion as Jim's.

But unlike the Doctor, Jim forces to keep his eyes open, blinking several times to wake himself more, "Not when I'm with the stars. When I'm with the stars I see my counterpart life. The life I should've had, the life that's supposed to be mine, the life where my father lives and I spend my childhood growing up in the steps of my father. I saw it Bones. It's there, it's just not mine." Jim speaks in a quiet whisper and Bones has to listen carefully to catch every heartbreaking word, but even though he heard everything, he's left confused.

"What do you mean you saw it Jim?" He questions, facing his back towards Jim so he can lean against the couch.

Jim's hand immediately finds its way into his hair, pulling on the dark brown strands of hair soothingly.

"During Nero, when I was stranded on Delta Vega, I ran into Mister Spock, the one from the other timeline. He shared a mind meld with me. I wasn't ready for it and I ended up seeing everything. I saw myself, I saw how I should be, how I'm supposed to be. I saw you and I saw Spock. We were so tight Bones, we were like brothers. Then…" Jim trails off, eyes becoming distant as the memories come washing back in, "Then I saw the Enterprise. She was so beautiful and well-cared for. Her crew was brilliant and she was perfect. Absolutely perfect."

Bones shifts, suddenly uncomfortable with the tension in the air, "How come you never told me about this? It could've affected your psyche."

"I'm fine Bones. Really."

The Doctor sighs, "Really' doesn't cut it kid…how long have you been thinking that way?"

"Only when I see the stars."

The brunette squeezes his eyes shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose, "Jim, you live in space, surrounded by the goddamn stars. Don't tell me you've been thinking like this the whole time."

Jim's hand pauses in his hair and the grip suddenly tightens, "No, I mean when I'm alone with the sky. It frees my mind, gives me some peace. If I can't see the stars I'd gone crazy by now." The hand now releases its tense grip and goes back to gently tossing the hair back and forth in a calming manner.

"You do realize that this is the life you're supposed to have, it's meant to be Jim, whether you believe it or not." Bones tells him, but his words fall upon deaf ears, "Sure Bones, whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Speaking of night it's past one damn it."

"I leave at six." Jim says almost sorrowfully, Bones can feel his pain through his hands; the swift shivers that make his hands shake.

"Spock said he might be able to bring the crew here."

"That'd be nice." Jim mumbles and lets his hand fall from Bones' hair as he groans and shifts tighter into a ball.

The Doctor notices, he always notices, and gets onto his knees and faces Jim. He places a hand on Jim's forehead. He's gotten hotter, he has a bad feeling it's only going to get worse. "How you feeling kid?" Bones asks rather quietly as he stands, "Cold." Jim admits and tries to disappear further into the blankets.

"You shouldn't be burning up so much…Jim have you been feeling sick all day?" He prompts and gathers up his medkit, seeing what's even left in his low stash.

"I still felt kinda sick after the klingon ale…" The blond says blandly, shivering again before coughing loudly into the blanket. Bones comes back over and with a tricorder and runs it over him quickly, taking in the readings, "Damn it Jim, your fever is almost thirty-nine degrees Celsius."

"Is that bad?"

"Of course it's bad you idiot." Bones grumbles in reply and pulls away Jim's blankets, "Hey!" He complains and begins to shake more if that's even possible. "Shut up Jim, you're way too hot for my liking."

"Do you question your sexuality because of my hotness?" Jim asks with a sly grin despite the tremors coursing through him, "I said shut up." Bones insists and digs through his hyposprays, but he only lets out a string of curses, "I don't have the right ones…"

"Yay, no hypos for me."

"No Jim-no. Not good." Bones retorts and yanks the blanket from the blond's hands as he tries to pull it back over himself, "Jim, this fever is only about to get worse. I have to get your temperature down."

"Don't." Jim suddenly orders sternly, causing Bones to freeze, "What?" He splutters, blankly staring at Jim, "Don't bring my temperature down."

"And why the hell would I do that?" Bones exclaims, hands flying into the air in rage. The blond needs to learn to appreciate his amazing doctor skills.

"Bones, at six they're taking me away. I'm going to be court martialed and that'll be the end. I'm going to prison Bones."

"Damn it Jim, no you aren't." Bones refuses and once more snatches the blanket from the blond's desperate hands before tossing it out of reach, "Bones, they found out I lied to Admiral Ward. And that's only one thing. Not to add the total death count, the destruction of the Enterprise, and don't lemme get started on the meeting I had with General Toq, because that was totally protocol." Jim heaves a sigh and glances away from Bones' probing eyes, "Plus I dunno but they might still be out to demote me. At least that's what Admiral Marcus said a couple months ago."

"Damn it Jim, it's not going to end this way. You aren't going to get demoted and you sure as hell ain't going to prison for this shit." Bones grounds out, crossing his arms and glaring down at Jim, "Now you better hurry up and explain why I shouldn't bring your temperature down or I'm gonna call you delusional and sedate your sorry ass."

Jim just rolls his eyes, but once he sees Bones bringing out a hypo he raises his hands high in surrender, "Look Bones, they're coming to get me at six correct?"

There's a pause.

"Correct?" Jim prompts again.

"Yeah, correct." Bones growls and refuses to meet Jim's pleading gaze, "But if they come and find me terribly sick, they'll call it off. They'll push it back a few days and it'll buy us some time."

"Buy us some time for what Jim? You can't stop the inevitable."

Jim grins devilishly, "I know, but you can delay it, just enough time for Spock to save my career."

"How?"

"General Toq."

"Goddamn it no Jim. Not him again. All he is, is trouble and hatred stuck into a bottle and chucked directly at your head." Bones fumes, face flushing red with anger.

The blond's smile only grows, "Exactly Bones. Remember a couple months ago when we went over the Toq Incident? And how Toq knew exactly where we were going to be?"

"But I thought that was all Ensign Laura's doing?"

Jim chuckles, "We gave her too much credit. Bones think about it. The crew didn't know about the assigned mission until a day's notice. What are the odds General Toq was a day out as well? Plus even if he was, Ensign Laura would have to sneak a subspace message out to Toq in time for him to be ready. And when we arrived, she had to cut off the power to the Warp Drive, which isn't an easy thing to do singlehandedly."

"You think that General Toq knew where we were going to be before we even did?" Bones asks, brows furrowing together in deep thought as he processes the new information.

"How else can you explain it?" Jim offers with shrug, but his shrug is barely noticed due to the constant shivering, "Well how did he know where to be?"

"Well if I'm correct it might just able to save my ass."

Bones huffs, "What is it?"

"I think one of the Admirals plotted against me." Jim states with so such certainty that Bones believes him right there on the spot, "But where's the proof?"

"That's what Spock will be doing. But that's also why you gotta let me get sick, to buy Spock some time." Jim says tiredly and curls in on himself.

"Jim, they'll still take you, they'll just admit you to a hospital and you'll be out of my care." Bones points out and sits back down beside Jim for his legs were beginning to ache from exhaustion. "Bones, I have panic attacks. Use that to your advantage."

"Jim that…actually that might work. I can say that you had a panic attack after the meeting and that led to your bad health and if they try to take you away I can say that'll only make you more unstable."

Jim nods somberly, feeling that there is more truth to the statement than Bones actually knows.

"Alright, sounds good to me. Now can I have the blanket back?" Jim declares with a childish grin and Bones is tempted to whack him over the head, "Fine, but if you're temperature gets any higher than thirty-nine degrees Celsius I'm calling it Jim."

He nods again and greedily takes the blanket from Bones' reaching hands. Hastily he drapes it back over his shivering body and curls around himself, hugging his knees close to his chest. He hears Bones sigh from above him and the Doctor's hand brushes away the matted blond hair from his glazed eyes.

Jim just hums gently and closes his eyes, feeling the hand slowly peel away and completely disappear from his touch. When it returns it places a cool towel on his forehead and loosens the blanket up to allow some of the hot air to escape. The blond just groans and shivers involuntarily.

"Try to get some rest Jim." Bones' soothing words lull him into a fitful slumber.

When he awakes again there's several voices murmuring above him, causing him to moan and stir in his half conscious state. Then a hand brushes tenderly across his cheek. The hand is far too soft to be the Doctor's. Intrigued, Jim forces his blue eyes open to meet the rich brown eyes of Uhura stooping over him, a kind smile curving on her plush lips. He smiles back stupidly and earns a cute giggle from his Communications Officer.

"Hey sleepy. How are you feeling?" Nyota questions, pulling the golden hairs back as the other voices become quiet and he suddenly feels all eyes falling upon him.

"Mmm, fine." Jim moans and struggles to sit upright, the presence of his crew motivating him to at least look a little less pathetic than he really is, "Here ya go Keptin." Chekov's voice pipes from above him and before he knows it, Uhura and Sulu are helping him sit upright while the cheeky Ensign stuffs a large pillow behind him.

"Thanks guys." Jim mutters hoarsely and let's himself sink down with a comforted sigh, "Any of you guys get interviewed yet?" He asks, but either they didn't expect him to know about the meetings or he sounded like hell because everyone seems to jump out of their skin once the question is out.

"No, not yet Captain. Mister Spock and yourself are the only ones so far, at least that's part of the Bridge crew that is." Sulu fills in, standing off to the side along with Chekov who just seems happy to see Jim awake.

Uhura sits in front of him, hands folded neatly in her lap as she stares at him with graceful eyes. Spock and Bones are on the opposite side of the room, voices whispering back and forth, obviously bickering, but keeping the volume down so no one overhears them. God only knows what they're arguing about now.

"Where's Scotty?" Jim mumbles, glancing around for the familiar Scotsman, "Right here laddie." The Engineer chirps, coming around the side of the couch with a bottle of scotch firmly secured within his grasp, Jim smiles, "Mind sharing?"

"Ah, I'm sorry wee lad, no sharing tonight, Doctor's orders. And I ain't gonna make Doctor McCoy angry, no sir-no thank ya." Scotty rants and plops down beside Uhura and offers her a swig, but the officer wrinkles her nose and pushes the bottle away, "Your loss sweetheart." Scotty replies and takes a good mouthful.

Jim smirks, he's missed them, he truly has.

"Hey, Keptin. Did Miss Uhura tell you about her date with Mister Spock?" Chekov bends down and whispers over to him, but Nyota hears Pavel nonetheless, "It was not a date!" Uhura protests sharply, rising to her feet in defense.

Sulu laughs, "Then what do you two call that dinner together? Don't tell me Mister Spock has a special name for it."

"It was a formal meeting, that's all." Uhura states, sending icy daggers at the both of them, "Then how come you guys weren't wearing your Starfleet uniforms?" Chekov prompts boldly, but shies away when the Communications Officer takes a threatening step forward, "We were technically off duty."

"Alright, alright Uhura, you win." Sulu grins sheepishly and she just rolls her eyes dramatically, "See what I have to deal with Kirk?" Uhura grumbles sarcastically, making the blond smile ever brighter, but he begins to cough which gathers everyone's attention.

"You okay Jim?" Bones calls over from where he stands secluded in the darkness with Spock by his side.

Jim just nods his head and slumps further into the couch, rubbing a hand over his exhausted face, "How about we call it night shall we? Looks like the laddie needs his rest." Scotty suggests as he stands upright

"I agree, security is coming here in less than three hours, I want him to get some rest before then." Bones agrees and comes over followed by Spock, "So now would be a good time to start saying goodbye." The Doctor adds and crosses his arms.

"Alright Captain, farewell, take good care of yourself laddie." Scotty smiles and pats him on the shoulder; Jim nods and offers a grin to the Engineer.

"Bye Kirk," Uhura whispers and plants a soft kiss on his burning forehead, "Please don't do anything stupid while we're gone, unfortunately we do care about you."

The blond chuckles, "I'll withhold himself."

Sulu then slides in after Uhura has made for the door, "Goodbye Captain, take care, we'll see ya later, maybe we can get some fencing in ya?" The pilot suggests and smiles when Jim gives him an appreciative look, "Sounds like plan to me."

Then Chekov worms himself in front and launches into a hug, nearly strangling Jim in the process, "Hold up Chekov!" Jim manages to wheeze out and the Ensign pulls away with a smirk, "Sorry Keptin," Pavel apologizes quickly with a devious expression.

"It's alright Chekov. I'll see you later okay?"

Chekov nods, "Okay Keptin."

As Chekov skips away, Spock takes his place, hands fused together behind his board straight back. "Goodbye Captain, I hope to see you soon, but whereas the approximate time, I do not know."

"Goodbye to you too." Jim says with a weary smile and the vulcan bows politely before heading out the door to follow the others.

"Hey Bones." Jim greets once the door has been locked and silence as fallen over the pair, "You look awful." Bones says as he comes closer to the blond, "Thanks, that's exactly what I was going for." He remarks sarcastically.

"Yeah, okay." Bones scoffs and pulls out his tricorder to run it over the shivering blond, "You're sitting about thirty-eight degrees Celsius right now. Not too bad."

"It's only for a little longer Bones, than you can inject me with all the good ol' hypos you want." Jim tries to cheer him up a little, but the Doctor just shakes his head and leaves to re-soak the small cloth.

When Bones comes back over, Jim is almost asleep. Leonard smiles and places the cool towel on the blond's forehead, seeing him visibly shrink away from the cold touch, but soon lets it consume him as he falls into a slumber.

With a sigh, Bones picks out his own blanket and once more plops down onto the ground beside Jim's head, letting his eyes slip shut. In two hours, he'll be explaining his ass off to security about why Jim has to stay and recover, something he certainly isn't looking forward to.

Jim waits until Bones has fallen asleep to sit up and stretch his legs, careful not to disturb the Doctor. He sighs, there's one problem with their plan. Admiralty won't give a shit if he just has a fever. Yeah, maybe Bones can say that he's having hard time dealing with his anxiety, but he's not sure if that's going to give them the edge that they need. So, Jim Kirk decides to take matters into his own hands, like he always does.

Yes, it's stupid and yes

it might work. And definitely yes, Bones will kill him for it. But it's the only way to be certain that this goddamn plan will work. If there's even the slightest chance Jim came make their odds better, he'll take it, even if that means endangering his own life. Plus, it'll give Spock more time, which is what he's aiming for right?

The blond gets to his feet and snatches up Bones' medical bag, searching for the right hypo. He's slightly disappointed when he can't find anything that he's allergic too. But then again, the good Doctor packs this thing specifically for him. Instead he finds the next best thing, a very addictive drug, one of which has been used for hundreds of years and Bones only carries it because it's one of the few things he's not allergic too. Morphine.

Overdosing isn't the safest thing, but it'll be one of the fastest. Surely Bones will be able to convince the Admiralty to give them a few days of he looks like his insides are about to boil and leak out of his ears.

Taking a daring breath, he pushes the needle into his forearm and forces the liquid into his blood stream before pulling the hypo away. Once the pain subsides, he grabs another one and injects it into the same arm. He then yanks it away with a shaky hand and nearly collapses to the ground, not from the affects of the new introduced drug, but just the fact that he did it.

But, unlike some drugs, Morphine can take some time to distribute through his system, so he needs to get his heart rate up for it to circulate faster.

Tiredly, Jim crawls onto all fours and brings himself into a pushup position. Then swiftly and soundlessly he begins to do as many as possible, to the point where his muscles scream and he can hear the blood rushing in his ears.

He pants as he lets himself lie face down on the carpeted floor, breathing in the chilling air that makes his skin crawl and tremble uncontrollably.

Jim whimpers and curls in around himself, clutching at his stomach futilely. He squeezes his blue eyes shut. But his body temperature only seems to drop further. With an agonized moan, he drags himself back onto the couch and cuddles within the warmth of his blanket and soon, unconsciousness consumes him, leaving Bones a pleasant surprise.

Bones wakes to the sound of loud knocking against the door, startling him to the living world. He blinks hazily and jumps to his feet quickly, rushing to the door. He doesn't even wipe the drool off of his face or smother down his messy hair before opening the door to welcome the security men.

"Why, hello there." Bones grumbles, crossing his arms, "Can I help you fine gentlemen today?"

Jim's interrogator, Officer Huss, steps forward with an expression of steel, "We're here for Captain James Kirk. Please Doctor, just let us take him and we'll be out of your hair."

"You didn't hear?" Leonard exclaims and Huss looks at him confused, "Hear what?"

"Jim can't go anywhere, he's terribly sick." Bones informs them, but Huss just raises an eyebrow, "Please Doctor." He insists and Leonard sighs as he shakes his head, "See for yourself then."

The Doctor then lets them step inside and leads them over to the couch where Jim's lies in a massive heap of sweat and blankets. Bones is shocked himself when he's Jim's quaking form, but covers up his expression with a scowl when Huss glances his way.

"He looks…he looks awful. What happened?" Huss asks, not daring to move closer to Jim, in fear of somehow contracting the sickness.

Bones swallows, "Due to a mix of stress and anxiety he got a fever. A pretty high one. I was hoping it would break last night, but I guess he's not out of the woods just yet."

"How long until he can be fit for interview?"

Leonard almost sighs in disgust, but stops himself, "Five days until he can be fit."

"Five?" Huss splutters in a shocked outburst, "No way, three tops."

"Look, we're not just talking physically here; he needs some time to mentally recover as well." Bones argues, not willing to budge. Huss shrugs and rubs his temples in a tired fashion, "Fine, four days and no longer, Friday at six in the morning we'll be here to pick him up. Healthy or not. The Admiralty is going to be mad no matter what."

"Alright, deal." Bones agrees and begins to usher the men out of the room, the sooner they leave, the sooner he can check on Jim. The damn idiot looks worse than hell itself.

"Friday morning, don't forget Doctor McCoy!" Huss calls out one last time before the door is shut and locked.

He then sighs and races to Jim's side, whipping out his tricorder to examine Jim, but he doesn't need it to tell him that it's bad, he just wants the specifics.

"Hey, Jim-hey, you awake kid?" Bones says while gently shaking him.

The blond whimpers and buries himself deeper into a ball, shaking so much that his muscles have begun to burn in protest.

"Oh my god." Bones gasps once the final readings have come in, "Jim, why is there an overdose of morphine running through your system? What have you done?"

"S-sorry Bones." Jim stutters under his breath, and pettily clutches at his blanket, but it brings no more warmth, "Jim, you're burning up. You're unlucky, most of the time morphine causes decrease in temperature and heart rate, looks like you're one of those few cases where it's the opposite…kid, if I don't get you cooled down, we're looking at possible brain damage." Bones is more talking to himself than Jim now, for the kid is nodding off, short gasps barely making it past his lips.

"Alright, alright hold on kid, I'm gonna hafta do this the old fashioned way." Bones informs him and stoops over to bring him upright, but Jim whimpers pathetically and shies away.

"C'mon Jim, I know it hurts but you'll feel better." The Doctor insists, but Jim isn't buying it, he squirms again, wrapping his knees close to his chest while he fights for a breath, "Jim, you're fever is terribly high, if I don't get it down it could have long lasting effects on your brain…but then again why would you care?"

Jim attempts to open his eyes and look at Bones, but they won't focus and all he receives is the blurry figure of his best friend standing over him, arms crossed.

Bones sighs, "C'mon kid, lemme take care of you. Trust me."

Jim's heart seems to beat so fast it might burst from his chest, and the sweat sticking to his white skin serves to make him shudder. His insides feel like knots, making his stomach crawl up his throat.

"I trust you." Jim says softly and so crisp that Bones hears his low voice easily and smiles upon his blond Captain, "Then let me help you."

The blond nods and shakily reaches out his arms for Bones to pull him to his feet. Bones takes the offer greedily and heaves Jim up and he would've toppled over but Bones' determined hands steady him and delicately steer him away. Jim can't even tell where they're headed until he's set down onto the cool tiled floor of the bathroom, "Bones…?"

"Yeah I know kid, hold on." The Doctor replies running the faucet to the tub, but as he glances between the cold water and his friend, he concludes that the bath will take too long. With a huff he sets it to shower mode and instantly the water starts raining down, sprinkling droplets that fall into Leonard's hair.

Bones then turns back to Jim, quickly yanking off his clothes until he's stripped down to his boxers. Once again, he has to give his best friend a shower. Damn, this is happening far too often. But now, more than ever, Bones feels like if he doesn't do this, Jim's mental and physical health could be at stake.

So, without further pause, Bones gathers his best friend up and walks him towards the shower. He steps in first, letting the icy water run down his own back, saturating his once dry clothes, reminding himself that this is for Jim. He then guides Jim into the crammed space as well, letting the blond slip his arms around his neck and bury his face into his shoulder, hiding from the chilling rinse of the showerhead.

Bones spins Jim around so the water now hits the blond's bare shoulders and runs down his back. Jim shrivels away from the cold water, but Bones keeps him in place by wrapping his arms around Jim's back. Despite the water, Bones can still feel the heat waves radiating off of Jim and he lets Jim's feverish heat keep him warm as the chill settles into his aching bones.

"Bones-I'm c-cold." Jim's teeth chatter so hard they sound like they're about to shatter, "Shh, it's alright Jim, just a couple more minutes okay? I gotta get your temperature down." He explains, and Jim just nods and slumps against him, barely holding up any of his weight anymore. Gravity is pulling them down.

The Doctor's arms shake as he tries to hold the blond upright, but eventually he gives in and sits upon the shower floor, holding the shivering blond close to his chest. Blue eyes are slipping shut and his breathing has begun to even out, giving Bones some reassurance, but he's still a quivering mess

Bones strokes the matted blond hair back, watching Jim cradle his stomach in incredulous pain. Morphine can cause horrible things on a person's intestines, poor kid. The tremors coursing through the fragile Captain is astonishing, one would think he was holding onto a large jackhammer. He glances down, despite the lethargic appearance, the bluing skin and the limp muscles; Jim manages to look up with ocean eyes that penetrate into his soul.

"Hey kid." Bones whispers and places a hand on Jim's forehead to check his temperature, which has started to drop significantly, "Seems like you're just about done." He comments and Jim nods slowly and rests his head back down with a wheezing sigh.

"How are you feeling?" He prompts, hoping to get a coherent response, but he doubts it, then again he can't be sure. Morphine does a number of things to the body when taken in an overdose. The drug firstly decreases a person's heart rate, temperature, and blood pressure, but in some cases, like Jim's, they'll have the opposite effect, it'll be increased. Also Jim will most likely experience confusion, hallucinations or delusion. He'll have pale clammy skin, headaches, nausea and possible itching, vomiting and diarrhea, which is just great. His respiratory can begin to slow and he can have trouble being alert and coherent.

So when Jim smiles and tries for a couple words, he isn't surprised that Jim slurs over his words and replies with a sentence that isn't whatsoever related to the question, or the situation in any way possible, "Tss' al'right, I andle' em'."

Bones is about to ask he is referring to, but stops himself. Right now, all Jim needs is rest, and plenty of it, so instead he turns off the running water and stands up, bringing the mumbling blond with him.

Jim protests though, flaying his arms weakly at his supposed offender, "Jim-Jim. Goddamn it Jim it's Bones." Leonard tries to convince him, but the blond continues to resist his hold, but he's so weak the Doctor easily yanks him from the tub and wraps a towel around him.

He quickly rubs Jim dry and changes him into a new pair of boxers without a second thought. Once done, he leads Jim to the bedroom, gently laying him down amongst the sheets and throwing a thin blanket over him. The blond mutters under his breath, already beginning to toss and turn. But Bones brings over his medkit and pulls out a sedative.

With a sigh he sits on the edge of the bed and tilts Jim's head to the side to expose his vulnerable neck, he then pushes the needle into Jim's skin and injects the liquid which almost instantaneously drags Jim under.

When Jim finally comes around, he's in a different place. He's home. He doesn't know how it happened but he's home and that's all he cares about. The blond sits up, using his hands to brace himself.

He looks around, taking in the familiarities before placing his bare feet firmly on the white floors of Sickbay, letting the coldness seep into his skin.

"Bones?" He calls out, surprised that his voice came in strong and sturdy, not a weak croak that he was expecting.

With silence as a response, Jim stands up and tests his legs, feeling his muscles successfully move and bend without a single hindrance. He strolls out of the confined room and opens himself up to the lively hall of the medical bay, only to find it void of life and noise.

"…Bones?" His voice is strained and he barely manages to keep the fear out.

Where is everybody?

Jim continues forward, but he can't stop the incessant questions from plaguing his mind and crushing his spirit to dust. With each step, his heart only sinks further down into the dark pits of nothingness that consume his mind.

His strides have become longer and more confident, but fear is still etched on his face. He's starting to run, heading faster and faster for the only place he think of, the Bridge. When he makes it to the turbolift, it doesn't work, not even a beep when he pushed the button, just screaming silence.

Sprinting, Jim forces himself to take the steps two at a time, making it to the top breathless and a bit queasy. He blinks away the nausea and steps forward, welcoming the empty darkness called his Bridge. Jim glances around, but finds nothing, just the black staring back at him, soulless and negated of any stars. There's only an abyss of agony awaiting him and that sends him spiraling a few steps back, only to collide and fall into his once comforting captain's chair. But he reacts fiercely as if the chair was the devil himself.

Collapsing to the floor, he sucks in greedy breaths and gazes about blankly, suddenly feeling small and worthless within the presence of the hollow Enterprise.

Then, out of the thick of obscurity, the crying of the Enterprise's alarms sound off, lighting the dreary rooms with blood red.

Jim hops to his feet anxiously and runs up to Sulu and Chekov's console, going through the ship's data reports, searching for the cause. But it doesn't take long for the answer to reveal itself, for suddenly the cavity of space peels away to expose the blue sky of earth, but the blue is flying passed quickly.

The Enterprise is falling. Gravity is pulling her down to earth, to join the graveyard of bones at the bottom.

The starship Captain stumbles and lands on his knees, watching the world go by. He squeezes his eyes shut and welcomes the impact of the Enterprise hitting the surface of the earth. All because of gravity.

As his beloved Enterprise hits the ground in an earsplitting shriek, he's whisked away, appearing before him a large farm with tall cornstalks. He blinks several times muttering, "There's no place like home," and clicking his heels together in a foolish attempt to wake himself from this nightmare. When nothing happens he rubs his eyes and walks forward, finding the immediate area quite familiar, or maybe it's just because it's a cornfield, for there were many in Iowa.

The last thing he wants is to be back in Riverside, but as he sees a nearing sign and runs up to it, his stomach falls. On the sign it reads, 'Welcome to Riverside Iowa' with the population being faded out. His stomach seems to climb up his throat and his world seems to be on fire briefly before his spluttering choking dies down and he's able to breathe once more.

He lets his hands brush gentle across the rusted sign before heading in, deeper into Riverside where his childhood looms ever closer in memory. Jim seems to only walk a few steps but he's marched miles as his old home grows to life before him, springing from the ground in all hastiness it makes him dizzy.

The blond almost collapses in quaking fear of his appalling mind.

"Jim!" The voice sends him spiraling in the depths of darkness that even he cannot regain himself from it.

He shrivels and feels the hands grabbing him harshly and tossing him forward with much gusto that sends him crashing to the rough ground, gaining new cuts and bruises along his dreadfully pale skin. "Please, Frank stop!" He wails desperately and scrambles from the crazed man's reaching grasp.

"Get inside, now Jimmy!" His step father growls and lands a cracking blow to his ribs with and steel-toed boot.

He yelps and kicks up dirt as he struggles to gather to his feet and makes to the house in a dead sprint; feeling like Frank is breathing down his neck.

His feet smack against the familiar creaks and groans of the wooden boards of the porch as he swiftly bursts through the door and slams it shut before promptly running down the hall and up the stairs to his room, the basement.

Jim's breathing is utterly out of control as the panic surges through his veins and the blackness of his childhood bedroom swallows him whole. He reaches out and grasps onto the crooked post of his ragged bed and pulls himself onto it, squeezing his eyes shut until the stale air flows freely in and out of his exasperated lungs.

"Jim, we need to talk." Frank's statement runs chills through him and instantly he dives underneath the thin sheets of his bed, hoping to hide from Frank's deathly presence. But the man easily finds him and tears the blanket from his frail clutches.

The blond bites his lip, feeling like an eight year old boy once more under the abusive power of his step father.

Frank leans over him, grabbing him by the wrists and pinning them above his head. His breath smells of alcohol as its blown straight into Jim's grimaced face. Jim flinches and whimpers, feeling absolutely exposed and vulnerable beneath Frank's threatening grasp.

"Shut up kid and don't struggle." Frank snarls and spreads Jim's legs apart.

Jim becomes squeamish and is unable to contain his sudden cries of pain that erupt from his lips.

Screams of terror fill his ears and it takes him a moment to realize it's his own as he's drawn back to the waking world, part of the living once more. He clutches the sheets underneath and thrashes wildly, trying to kick away the imaginary monster attacking him.

"Jim! Jim stop!" Bones yells and forces him down, placing one hand on the blond's chest and another on his forehead, feeling the hotness rippling off of him.

But the bucking blond doesn't respond so Bones pulls out a sedative and pushes it into his neck, letting unconsciousness claim his best friend again.

Jim finds himself once more under the influence of his morphine induced delirium, yanking his mind away from reality and letting it succumb to the next greatest power, his nightmares. His nightmares grab him and drag him under the rich soil of faint memories of joy and deeper into the crevices of his mind that are filled to the brim with anguish and despair. Next thing he knows he's being led away in chains, a collar strapped tightly around his neck, feet trudging along in the dirt, meeting his fate.

Tarsus IV.

Words can't describe the utter fear and defeat welling in the pit of his stomach, making him vomit all over himself in a feverish haze that sends him convulsing in pain.

Kodos' face appearing before him with that grim smile, teeth yellow and eyes gleaming with compassion for hate. It makes Jim's breath hitch in the back of his throat and his eyes to pool with innocent tears of his horrid childhood.

When will this nightmare end? Is all he can begin to process as he forced to run away, herding his kids to a safer place to protect them from Kodos' men that nip at their heels wherever they go. But that 'safer' place never provides food or water, and is usually barely a shelter from the harsh weathers of the planet's surface.

With his kids all safe inside the dark cave, he sits guard, taking only a few glances to look back on the sleeping faces of his many children which he now calls his own. They're all homeless, all fighting, all trying to survive.

But only so many can make it through this hell.

Then, as he feels the frightening memories begin to tug him deeper into his mind, Bones' jostling hands stir him until he's able to groan and open his tired eyes.

"Jim, hey kid." Bones' soothing tone welcomes him as he blinks his eyes drowsily, "Am I dead?" He moans, his muscles refusing to respond to his commands. Damn, he must be dead then surely.

Bones laughs dryly, "No kid, you were pretty damn delirious for awhile there."

"But the Enterprise she-and Frank-" Jim begins to protest in frantic whimpers, "It was just a dream Jim. The Enterprise is fine, nothing happened-and yes, before you ask, the crew is fine too. Just worried that's all."

Jim nods and finally forces his eyes fully open. Bones is sitting on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair back, eyes gleaming with concern, something he hates to see in Bones' eyes. He hates causing the Doctor so much pain.

"How long?" He asks, his voice scratchy as sandpaper.

Bones huffs, "Four hours, it's almost eleven now."

He nods again.

"Feeling hungry?"

The blond shakes his head, just the thought of food makes him feel nauseous.

"It's alright, just some aftereffects of the morphine being in your system. You'll feel a bit sick for today and tomorrow. You shouldn't experience any withdrawal symptoms, but nonetheless you're gonna feel like shit for awhile. Serves you right you crazy bastard. Injectin' yourself with those drugs." Bones growls and glances away briefly, showing annoyance through his body language.

"Can I have some water?"

Bones nods and disappears, and reappears shortly after with a cup full of water, "Here, drink it slowly. Your body can't handle much right now. I'm thinking about ordering an IV, depending on how well you can stomach things."

Jim doesn't reply, but simply reaches a hand out and takes the cup to drink it, with Bones' hand stabilizing his quivering arm. "Thanks Bones." He rasps out after several gulps and the good Doctor has snatched the cup from his grasp.

"Just don't do it again please." Bones says in a long sigh, shoulders slumping in exhaustion.

Jim knows Bones can't keep doing this, taking care of him and working his ass off only for it to happen all over again. The Doctor has poured his heart into him, to making him better, to heal him. But he fears that his heart is too far broken for mending.

"How bad was it?"

It takes a moment for Bones to formulate an answer, "It was really bad Jim. You…you were screamin' and cryin'. I tried to calm you but your fever had shot back up and the drugs were messing with your head pretty bad. You said things Jim, things I've never heard before. Whether it was the delirium talking or those nasty nightmares I don't know. I just don't wanna see you go through that again."

Jim lets himself slump back down and his eyes blink heavily.

"Rest Jim, I'll be right here when you-" Bones doesn't get much further as suddenly loud knocks echo through the apartment.

Bones raises an eyebrow at the blond and briefly lets his hand squeeze his shoulder before leaving to open the door. The moment the door is open Spock pushes passed Leonard and shuts the door and locks it, taking a few seconds to breathe.

"Spock, what's going on here?" Leonard demands, crossing his arms angrily.

The vulcan releases a few pants, sweat dripping off of his forehead, "We may have a slight situation here. Is the Captain able to move?"

The Doctor blinks several times in disbelief, "Spock, what the hell is going on?"

Spock doesn't answer as he comes to Jim's side along the bed and looks into his Captain's dull blue eyes, "Captain, I may have put you into further danger." He admits, making Bones grumble in the background.

"I'm already in some big shit Spock. Not much more you can do to make it worse." Jim croaks with the rolls of his eyes, but Spock's tone of voice catches him off guard, "Jim, if we do not leave here in approximately twenty-four point thirty-seven minutes, you will die."

Bones huffs, "Damn it Spock, do you always have to be so damn optimistic about everything?"

 **Author's Note: Yeah, I know, longest chapter in the book so far! Sorry yall for taking so long to post an update, but I hope it was worth the wait! I'd like to thank every single one of yall who have reviewed this story so far; it's very encouraging and inspires me to write the next chapter. So with that, I'll leave it for now, thanks yall and stay awesome. Live Long and Prosper.**


	27. Wasted My Time

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 27: 'Wasted My Time' _Default_**

 **Author's Note: I just want to clear a few things up real quick, and this is just some clarification of the general order of events for the Kelvin timeline: First is Nero. Second, they run into Toq and afterwards they go back to earth to receive the necessary repairs and that's what Jim is explaining to captors now. Third is Khan. Fourth takes place between Khan and Krall (from Beyond) and that's when Jim, Bones, and Spock find themselves stranded on the planet with Kodos and General Toq. If you remember from chapter 24, I explained that Jim is being interrogated this whole time and he jumps from running into Toq and to chasing Kodos, so he is forced to go back and explain the events of how he gets the Enterprise back after the Toq Incident which was going to leave him demoted to lieutenant and without the Enterprise. Hopefully it's understandable. Enjoy!**

 **Just a quick warning, this chapter is a bit more, graphic? Ehh, I warned you, nothing to serious though.**

"Damn it Spock, he can't go anywhere, it'll only take longer for him to recover." Leonard argues, arms crossed as he stands outside Jim's room, Spock facing him with an emotionless face, but his tone of voice betrays him, "Doctor, if we do not leave soon, they will take the Captain and kill him. It is too late to resolve the situation; we must leave here and formulate a plan."

"Spock for god's sake man, you were barely gone for four hours! How did you manage to screw things up that bad?" He exclaims, causing Jim to stir in his feverish haze. A couple minutes ago Jim slipped back under, unable to keep himself awake even with all the excitement of Spock blowing up their front door.

Spock takes a brief moment to compose himself, "I will explain later, but first we must take Jim away, it is not safe here for him anymore." The vulcan than heads into the room, beginning to pack up the Doctor's medical supplies for him.

Bones sighs and helps him, snatching up a backpack and stuffing money, extra clothes, and food and water from the kitchen.

Once with two backpack fulls of supplies, Bones wakes Jim from his slumber and hurriedly gets some decent clothes on him.

"Where are we going?" Jim asks hoarsely, tugging on his sweatshirt over his plain white t-shirt, his vision is somewhat blurry and his limbs feel sluggish, but for the most part he can comprehend things and speak coherently.

"I don't know." Bones admits, tying Jim's boots on before standing up to assist the blond onto his feet.

Jim's world spins the second his feet hit the ground and the nausea rises in his throat, but he holds it down and let's Bones guide him away to where Spock stands motionlessly by the door.

"Well, this is gonna be fun." Jim chirps positively so, causing both the vulcan and the Doctor to raise an eyebrow at him. The blond's grin only grows, "You guys are more alike than you like to admit."

"Shut up Jim." Bones grumbles and lets Spock open and close the apartment door for them, and he leads them down the stairs slowly and into the fresh air.

Immediately the Captain trembles and releases a shaky breath, wanting nothing more than a warm blanket and cup of hot chocolate. Just the thought makes his mouth water, basking within the imaginary savory taste of the warm liquid running down his raw throat.

Spock stares at him.

Damn it, did he leave his mouth hanging open? God only knows.

Spock shrugs it off and continues the frisk pace in silence.

Normally Jim would question every step and resist the help from his friend, but his mind is fogged with morphine and his limbs are rather lethargic and feel heavy at his sides. He feels like bricks are weighing down his feet, yet somehow he manages to lift them and continue forth in stride. But his muscles protest the movement, aches springing to life through his worn body and he can't help but let his knees wobble as he plants one foot in front of the other, allowing his soles to absorb the impact of stepping on the concrete.

Before long, they reach the end, watching as cars zip by, sending gusting winds up to ruffle all their hairs. Jim can't suppress the giggle as Spock's bowl cut flips upwards and somehow manages to look goofier than it already is.

Leonard just sighs and shakes his head, "Damn delirious kid." He mumbles and lets Spock call out a taxi for all of them.

When the car pulls up alongside the road, Spock slides in first, followed by Jim, who only makes it inside due to Spock's and Leonard's helping hands guiding him inside. Then, the Doctor himself hops in and shuts the door.

Jim doesn't catch the conversation between Spock and the driver; he's too busy trying not to throw up as his stomach cramps and churns. But within seconds their driver is speeding off with their new location.

"You still there kid?" Bones asks as he stretches the blond out, for once inside he curled up into a ball, holding his stomach.

Gently he brings Jim's legs down and unravels his arms from his abdomen. The kid's expression is pained with eyes glued shut, "Jim?" He prompts, jostling him lightly until those blue eyes flicker to life, "I'm tired Bones."

The simple statement means much more than just 'tired' and Bones hears the unspoken words. He hears the things that Jim doesn't say.

"I know kid." Bones comforts, slinging an arm around the blond's shoulders and letting Jim slump up against him, eyelids drooping.

The grogginess is too overpowering and Jim gives in to his exhaustion. He isn't quite sure what's going to happen, or why they're running away. But he's glad that Spock and Bones are with him, because with them he'll be safe. Then again, it can't stay that way, not forever. Eventually, once he recovers he's going have to reclaim the Enterprise for himself. Step outside the comfort zone and grab life by the throat and demand it to give him his home back.

But his time is short, he's wasted so much time with this shit, he's spent too much time trying to hide from his anxiety that now its comeback to bite.

It's time that Jim Kirk stops running, stops hiding, stops ignoring, and starts accepting. If he can do that, accept the current position he is in, he can get up and finally do what he came here to do, and that is to get the Enterprise. Those Admiral bastards think they can just pull it right out from under him, but boy are they in for a surprise.

His plan all rests on one simple thing: did Spock accomplish their mission?

"Spock." His says gruffly and Bones flinches slightly, thinking that the lethargic blond was dead asleep, "Yes Captain?" Spock asks, giving him a side glance.

"Did you find anything?"

Spock folds his hands neatly in his lap, "Captain, I believe that this is not the appropriate place to be having that conversation."

"Okay." Jim replies, defeated as he slumps down.

Bones squeezes his shoulder, "Get some rest kid."

He nods, letting his eyes fall shut and for sleep to overcome him and drag him into the blackness of his mind.

It doesn't take long for those familiar blue eyes to peel back open, but they welcome a new scene. His hands grab at the thin sheets and his feet dig into the firm mattress beneath him. Quiet murmurs emanate from the corner where two figures stand, conversing intensely.

"Bones?" He asks hoarsely and instantly the two figures snap around and come closer, revealing the Doctor and the vulcan.

Bones smiles gently and pats his shoulder, "How ya feeling?"

"I need to know."

Leonard's grin fades and he exchanges a look with Spock, "Go ahead Spock. Tell him what happened."

Spock nods and faces Jim, "Captain, I went to the Federation headquarters and there I dug through some research and files until I was successfully able to locate General Toq. Unfortunately on the way there I was stopped by Admiral Ward himself and he questioned my presence. But I was unable to supply a sufficient answer to Admiral Ward that would satisfy his suspicious concerns. In turn he ordered my arrest in which Admiral Archer intervened and released me. But Admiral Ward spoke with me afterwards and confirmed my theories."

"And what are those theories Mister Spock?" The blond inquires, blinking hazily up at his First Officer with much appreciation. "That Admiral Ward is after the Enterprise and has devised your assassination."

"Wait-what?" Jim gasps, instantly sitting upright in sudden fear. He grips the mattress beneath him, knuckles turning white.

"Captain, Admiral Ward is planning on killing you."

The blond takes a shuddering breath which causes the Doctor some worry, "Jim, can you handle this?" Leonard prompts, placing hand on his shoulder.

The new information is causing a panic to rise in Jim's chest. Leading to an untimely panic attack.

Jim nods fiercely, "Yeah. Spock send the info to my PADD, Bones you did bring that correct?"

"Yeah, but I shut everything down, I didn't want them tracking us."

The blond huffs, "Don't worry about that. I killed the tracker in our PADDs months ago."

Bones rolls his eyes, "Paranoid bitch."

"My specialty."

Jim sighs, scratching at his hairs dully, "I just need a moment to process this."

Spock nods, "I will send the information to your PADD Captain." With that the vulcan dismisses himself from the room.

But Bones lingers by his side, too stubborn to take a step away from his best friend. Jim glances at him, eyes searching for an answer, one of which Bones isn't sure he has. Those damn blue eyes, shining up at him.

"I don't know Jim." Bones mutters and Jim nods.

Of course his good Doctor friend has no idea why Admiral Ward would have so much resentment towards him to have him killed. There is a certain person he knows of, who would know the answer, but that person so happens to be behind Federation bars.

General Toq.

Bones sees the narrowing eyes and the mischievous grin growing on the edges of Jim's pink lips. The tall tell signs of the blond's devious planning which only leads to further trouble and more frustration shoved into the Doctor's mind.

"No, Jim." Leonard says plainly, arms crossing in his normal fashion.

Jim shrugs innocently, "I didn't say anything."

"You don't have to. I can see it on your face."

The blond smiles again, looking over at Bones' scowl. But the Doctor isn't angry, just worried over his wellbeing. Leonard shouldn't be though; he's already taken care of him enough. Now it's his turn to do something for a change.

"Bones…" Jim begins, tone soft and welcoming, "Don't 'Bones' me Jim, I've come too far to lose you now." The Doctor fumes, ignoring the bright blue eyes.

"Leonard." The blond corrects, waiting for those dark brown eyes to settle onto his ocean blue, "You won't lose me."

Leonard sighs and sits upon the bed's edge, stroking back the rebellious blond hairs that fall over Jim's face, making a contrast with his pale skin.

"You can't say that." The brunette murmurs, head hanging, letting Jim's delicate hands rummage through his dirty brown hair, far from clean.

"Leonard, I promise you won't lose me." He says, cupping Leonard's chin and tilting his head up so he can meet his watering gaze. He almost sobs, "Jim, how can you promise me that? How?"

Jim hushes him gently, bringing Leonard to his shoulder so the Doctor can wrap his arms about him in comfort, "Because I'm holding onto you."

Leonard falls silent as tears slip down his cheeks, with the blond brushing his hair back. Spock on the other hand has left the vicinity of the room, giving the two emotional humans some space. He has learned over the past couple years of serving with fellow emotional beings that sometimes, they need to talk things through or cry it out. Illogical it may be to a vulcan, one of which with high logical principles, but somehow humans pull through the hard times, something that serves to bewilder Spock every time.

The blond waits until Leonard pulls away, wiping the tears away and sniffling a few times to gain his bearings.

"Thanks Jimbo." He says with a hoarse sigh. Jim chuckles lightly, "No problem Bones."

"So I probably shouldn't ask should I?" Bones prompts.

Jim shakes his head, "Probably not."

"Am I going to like it?"

"No." Jim states firmly, avoiding Bones' gaze.

Bones huffs, scratching at the growing beard, "Should Spock know?"

The blond half smirks, "Nope, better if you guys just stay in the dark."

Leonard nods, knowing fairly well that when Jim has his mind set, there's no changing it. A Captain's gotta do what a Captain's gotta do and there's no way in hell Leonard McCoy is going to get in the way of James T. Kirk and his beloved Enterprise. There's just no way.

"Anything you need?" Leonard asks, staring deeply into Jim's face, memorizing every little imperfection which he has learned to call perfect on the young man's face.

Jim grins that stupid lopsided smile, "A fully charged PADD, and one phaser please…Actually, make that two PADDs. Oh and some food, I might get hungry."

"Two?" Bones exclaims incredulously, slightly confused, "Why two?"

"I might have to blow up something. I need a PADD so I can rig it to blow."

Bones shakes his head, "Crazy bastard you are."

"That's why you love me."

"I know kid. Also why its gonna be the end of me." Leonard grumbles and accepts Jim's small smile that twitches on his lips.

Jim watches Bones stretch a refreshing yawn, "Why don't you get some sleep? Afternoon my ass you're tired."

Bones hums, "Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Probably not."

Leonard nods knowingly, "Right, I'll get the supplies together; it'll be underneath the table by the door on your way out. I'll make sure the damn pointy-eared hobgoblin is meditating or something."

Jim nods and Leonard turns to leave the room, "Bones, wait."

The brunette faces Jim, leaning against the doorframe, "Yeah?"

"You understand why I gotta do this right?"

Leonard sighs, face drawn and heavy, "Of course I understand Jim, doesn't mean I gotta like it." With that the Doctor disappears, leaving the blond to ponder over his words.

Hours slip by, with Jim dozing in and out of consciousness, before finally he forces his body upright and blinks his vision back to life. The room is oddly still and the humming fans even seem strained in the buzzing background noise. He sighs, drawing his legs closer and stretching promptly with a quieted yawn.

Jim brings his feet to the floor and tests them before putting his full weight on them. He grins stupidly and finds some clothes neatly folded at the end of the bed for him. The blond changes quickly, grateful for the new warm clothes, black pants, a t-shirt, socks, boots, and an old academy hoodie.

Really, who still has these damn old hoodies anyways? Oh, wait, him. That's his freshman academy hoodie.

He laughs to himself as he pulls it over his head and smoothes out the wrinkles, and then proceeds to lace up the military boots on his feet. With new determination he strolls silently out of the room to find a sleeping Bones and a meditating Spock in the living room.

Bones is splayed out over the couch, chest heaving up and down as loud snores escape his mouth. Spock on the other hand is completely still, legs crossed and elbows resting perfectly on his knees, mind deep within thought.

Jim almost considers joining Bones on the couch, it's a much better alternative than what he's about to do. But he knows he can't. If he doesn't do this, doesn't seize the opportunity, he may never command the Enterprise again. Hell, he might never be able to be part of Starfleet again.

With that in the forefront of his mind, Jim snatches the bag underneath the small table, just where Bones said it would be, and quickly exits the room, leaving soundlessly without a single disturbance. He then rushes down the hall and through the stairs, knowing fairly well he'll never work up the courage to use the elevator.

His irrational fear of elevators is a story for another time.

Once out in the open afternoon air, he feels slightly unnerved by the vacant streets. But the buildings bustle with life. It's passed lunch break and many children would still be in school so there wouldn't be much going on.

He sighs, running a hand through his greasy blond hair despite the shower Bones had given him not too long ago. Jim flips the academy hood over his head and stalks away, leaving the presence of the apartment building behind him and heading deeper into the metal and cement city. The longing for clear skies and breezy meadows only grow stronger the further he dives. Even the metal Enterprise feels more open than this. Sulu has placed many plants about the ship, genetically engineering them so anybody with allergies wouldn't be affected by them.

Jim travels almost aimlessly for several minutes before the streets begin to feel familiar and the Federation building looms in the distance, casting a large shadow over the surrounding stores and condos. He probably could've used his PADD to get the exact location, but he couldn't find the energy within himself to actually pull it out yet, but now that he's here, he has to. It's the only way he'll be able to find General Toq.

Despite the Federation's efforts to find Spock, Bones, and himself, the last thing they would expect is for the fugitive Captain to appear on their doorstep. So considering the current situation, security is still loose, but slightly on edge due to their infuriated superiors. Which unfortunately will not serve to his advantage, but that's okay because he's not looking for an upper hand, just some old fashioned luck.

He pulls the hood further down to cover his eyes and makes to the back of the building, walking nonchalantly past the Starfleet guards, wearing their regulation reds. The two guards spend their time talking into their communicators and passing jokes to each other to pass the time.

Bones would call that typical.

Rounding the last bend, he enters through the side doors, flipping the hoodie back and turning away from the security cameras.

Isn't his first time infiltrating the Federation building, and yet again that is a story for another time. Jim stalks up to the wooden benches and sits down, setting the backpack on the ground to casually pull out his PADD. Jim turns it on, watching the screen flicker to life before punching in his password to unlock the device. Once in he pulls up the information that Spock had sent to him. He shuffles through it, searching and skimming until he stumbles across the info he needs.

General Toq.

Can't be that hard to reach him right?

There he is, sublevel five, but he doesn't have the security card to access that level. Yet again, he knows that from last time he infiltrated this facility, a story for another time and place. Jim sighs, running a hand through his hair and gazing about, spotting a security guard, wearing a golden uniform.

Bingo.

He gets up, turning off the PADD and leaving behind his backpack, before he approaches the guard, eyeing the long curly brown hair and the curve of her hips. It's seduction time. The over eager blond stumbles purposefully into her, ending with him on the floor, clutching his left eye and wincing.

"Oh! God sorry, are you okay sir? I'm sorry I didn't see you there." She exclaims and kneels down beside him.

With his pretend only good eye, he sees the insignia on her dress; it's a science, not security. His mistake, but nonetheless it'll work to his advantage. Maybe she won't recognize him, or at least not know that he's a fugitive. The Admiralty hopefully haven't spread the word too far, especially since he is their poster boy in gold.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just uhh-just hit my eye." He says rather politely, gently brushing away her helping hands as they both stand.

She swipes her brown her back behind a delicate ear, "Here let me see." She offers kindly, but he shakes his head, "I'll be fine, just uhh-where's the bathroom?"

"Oh, it's over here, let me show you." The lady says and guides him away by snatching his elbow and pulling him away, "Thank you…uhh?"

"The name's Sophia Clark, and you are?"

"Leo, Miss Clark." He replies, spitting out the first name that came to mind, so happened to be Bones'. Sophia hums, "Leo? I like that name."

"Why thank you." He chirps and suddenly stops, yanking her and taking her with him into a closed off room, "Woah! Hey what's going on-" She can't finish the sentence as Jim, well Leo, shoves his lips onto hers, hands grabbing at her waist.

Despite her first reaction, she sinks in, kissing him back. Sophia can't help herself, a man as handsome as Leo only comes around once in a lifetime.

Leo pulls away briefly, releasing a pant, "Sorry, I don't know what overcame me. You're-you're just so beautiful."

This is his only chance, either seduce her and take it, or knock her out and take it, either way it's gonna leave him feeling guilty and her majorly pissed. But at least in the seduction method if she gets discovered she won't be knocked out cold or duck taped to a chair.

Sophia blinks several times. She can't believe what's happening, even in the academy she had never made out with a random stranger, but this man, this Leo person, just seems so genuine, so kind and gentle that her longing for him only grows with his sincerity. Surely this one mistake won't be the end of her life? She has no family, not many friends, and certainly this career hasn't served her much besides this hot hunk who just so happened to crash into her minuscule life.

Shouldn't she take advantage of the moment? Seize the day? Leo may be a one night stand, one that doesn't occur at night or in a nasty old bed, but hell, he'll be the best one night stand of her life. By the looks of him he's got quite a fine engine on him and this doesn't seem to be his first rodeo.

She smiles, "No, don't apologize, I enjoyed it."

He smiles that smile, that shit-eating grin that the girls just get weak-kneed for, "Well, in that case, you don't mind?" Leo prompts, a hand sliding down lower to grab at the meaty flesh, causing her to tense slightly underneath his hands.

Damn, this girl surely must be needy, if she's that willing. Jim feels uncomfortable, like he's taking advantage over her. And hell, he probably is, but he's giving her the option to back out now, but she isn't. This damn girl has more problems than him! She needs to learn herself worth, instead of stooping so low as making out with complete strangers. But neither of them leave, and the tension of whether to continue or not only grows stronger.

So instead of leaving, he shuts the closet door to avoid any watchful eyes, and thrusts another kiss upon Sophia. She giggles softly and her soft hands grab at his golden hair playfully.

Keycard, he needs that damn card.

Grabbing her, he pushes Sophia up against the cabinet and brings his mouth over her neck while his hands secretly pat her down for the card. Right when he feels it, Sophia's legs hook around his waist and her arms sling around his neck. Her lips meet his ear and Leo lets out a shaky gasp that serves to please her.

Blood pounding in his ears, the realization of his mistake dawning on him. He didn't plan to follow through with it, not fully. But his mistake, he picked a crazy psycho girl that is far too clingy for his liking.

"You know…" He breathes, biting at her skin, "…this probably isn't…" Leo grunts pitifully, "…the best idea."

"I don't care, I haven't had some fun in years." She moans, one devious hand reaching lower and grabbing, making the blond groan. Sophia pauses briefly before peeling off her Federation dress.

Shit, the girl isn't even drunk.

Jim feels the slight panic rise in his chest. The sudden sensation makes him feel like he's not in control and that causes his breaths to become shorter. It's Frank all over again. He has to gain control, he has to set the pace.

"Sara?" He says and she growls, "Sophia." She corrects quickly and draws him closer.

Leo huffs, "I left my shit out by the lobby." He admits, and pulls out the keycard from her golden dress, "So?"

The blond shudders and his knees quake when she pushes into him, "There's some valuable shit, I just need to grab it and I'll be right back."

Sophia's black eyes narrow down at him, annoyed at the fact he finds his things more important than the situation at hand, "Fine, I'll be right here. Just make it quick."

Leo nods, "That's my specialty." He grins, sticking the card into his pocket and squealing lightly when Sophia's hand pulls out from his pants.

Before he can make an exit, Sophia turns him around roughly and thrusts herself upon him. He groans and rolls away, throwing her up against the wall instead and pinning her wrists down.

"Slow down girl. I'm coming back." Leo murmurs and leans in to kiss her softly on the lips. Sophia smiles and watches him as he heads for the door, only a few steps away.

Jim makes a shaky exit out of the closest, heart still drumming in his ears. He can only pray to god that it's not obvious what has just transpired. The blond sighs and smoothes down his hair and snatches up his things, giving a courteous nod to a few passing doctors.

He then heads for the elevator, staring at it blankly. He'll have to enter eventually, and sooner the better. Pretending that it's the Enterprise's turbolift, he steps into the elevator, letting his hands tremble as he brings out the card and uses it to access sublevel five.

It seems to take decades before the elevator makes that all too familiar ding and he rushes out, finding the floor mostly empty. Luckily, he doesn't get stopped by any Starfleet personnel as he makes his way to General Toq's cell. He gives the area a quick glance as he brings up his PADD, hacking into the system. This will give him about forty seconds before he's swarmed with security redshirts.

He breathes.

First he takes out the cameras, then disables the alarms, kills the tracker on Toq, and then finally releases the lock on the General's cell, all at once. If there's panic surging through the building, he can't hear it because all he's focused on is the klingon now before him as he pushes passed the door.

"Captain Kirk, I knew we would meet again."

"Shut up and follow me." Jim demands and begins to turn away, expecting the General to follow, "And why would I do that Kirk?" Toq asks, holding his ground within the cell.

Jim sighs hoarsely and stalks up to his face, "Because you shit-face klingon, you can't stop yourself from not taking the opportunity when it comes."

"What opportunity Kirk?"

"Damn it Toq, I'm breaking you out of here and you will help me get out of this mess. You know why? Because you value your freedom and that's something I can give you. But you have to follow me right now." Jim snaps and then runs out the door.

It only takes one glance over his shoulder to confirm that General Toq is following him through the hallways and to the elevator. Once both inside, the blond digs out his PADD, "Here, hold this." Jim grumbles and dumps the rest of his things on Toq.

"Kirk, we're not moving." Toq points out after the doors have shut, but the elevator remains fixed at sublevel five, "No shit Sherlock." He mumbles and accesses the controls before the Federation hackers block him out.

"Up, up we go." Jim mutters as he activates it, taking them to the first floor, "We're just going to walk through the main entrance?" Toq prompts incredulously, eyeing the human with a deathly stare.

The blond glares back, "They have no cameras and no tracking systems in here. I already killed the tracking device in your arm, I did that as I opened the door. So the Federation has no way of finding us. Walking through the front doors and jumping into a taxi is what I plan on doing."

"Captain, I'm a klingon, my kind is not accepted here." Toq points out, handing the human back his belongings once the elevator dings, "That may be so," Jim starts, pulling out a second PADD to type a command into it, before swiftly tossing it Frisbee style down the hall, "-but trust me, when there's a will there's a way, and I have the will."

Then the PADD Jim tossed explodes, causing more havoc on the Federation Officers who are already scrambling about. Jim eyes the exit and makes a dash for it, General Toq hot on his heels, ignoring the shouts of protest during their grand escape.

Surprisingly the two make it out onto the streets without a single scratch and it only takes a moment longer for Jim to call a taxi shuttlecraft over and hop inside along with the klingon General close behind.

"Holy shit!" The man exclaims as he sees who has just entered his shuttle.

The famous Starfleet officer, Captain James T. Kirk, himself, in the flesh, rolls his eyes nonchalantly and leans in closer to the driver, "Look pal, we mean no trouble, its better if you just hop out now and save yourself the trouble. You wouldn't want to have a talk with this guy now do you?" Jim says, pointing a thumb over at his klingon companion.

The man quickly shakes his head, "N-no sir. I don't."

"Good, now out of the car." The blond orders and the poor driver does as he's told and watches as the Captain of the Enterprise and some ugly klingon speed off with his shuttlecraft, how he's going to explain this to his superior officers he does not know.

"Where are we heading?" Toq questions, examining the human before him, who is desperately trying to keep a calm about him, but the adrenaline rush has shaken him to his core.

Jim pauses, blowing a long hard sigh and running a hand through his blond hair, "Home."

General Toq chuckles from the back seat and relaxes back down, stretching his arms out along the top of the chair, "Long ride I assume?"

The blond nods, "Sit tight, I know a few shortcuts."

"And just how long is this ride going to be?"

"Eight hours if we're lucky. We might get pulled over on state borders." Jim huffs, taking a quick glance over his shoulder before pulling into the other lane.

"With your style of driving, we might get pulled over sooner than you think." Toq snickers from behind, making Kirk roll his eyes, "Shut up, you try driving."

"No thank you Captain, this is your planet."

"Yeah, my planet." The Captain sighs and continues along, making sure he stays within agreeable speed limits of the roads.

The trip from the Capital city of America to Iowa isn't his best idea ever, especially with a grumbling klingon in the backseat, asking for food every ten minutes. But somehow they survive through it without killing each other. State borders were tricky, but a bit off-roading helped a lot with that issue. They didn't stop, for news began to spread: "A blond man and a klingon companion are wanted for arrest", they dared not to reveal the names, but a klingon 'companion' is pretty damn obvious enough.

The ride lasted ten hours, and through that time Jim didn't get anything done, he still needs to figure out how exactly he's going to get aboard the Enterprise. His beloved ship is still going over several repairs, but fortunately nothing major. Riverside Iowa is where the Enterprise was built, and it is there where she is being fixed. Quite ironic considering his awful history in Riverside.

"So, where's the Enterprise?" Toq says from behind, slouching heavily within his seat, Jim almost growls at him, "We're getting there, five minutes out or so. I still need to figure out how to get aboard."

The General chuckles, "I see. Your planning capabilities only go so far Captain."

"Oh shut up, do you got any great ideas wise guy?" Jim grumbles, foot slamming on the gas as the road opens up before them.

Toq shifts in his sit, actually thinking about it, "Well I did break into your ship once, what makes you think I can't do it again?"

Jim snorts, "That topic is off limits for conversation."

"Still sore?" The General snickers and Jim tosses his backpack at him, "I don't need your shit right now. Just give me some ideas."

Toq hums, scratching at his large forehead before pushing the bag to the floor of the shuttle, "Can she fly?"

"Yeah, Warp engines are fully repaired, though, navigation is a bit sketchy. But communications are up and running. Our life systems are all in check and the overall mainframe is intact, only a few glitches here and there." Jim informs him, eyes scrunching in slight confusion as he realizes all the info he just disclosed to his enemy.

But right now they can't afford to be enemies, only partners. Nothing more, and nothing less. Just partners. Partners in crime that is.

"How many people do you need to fly a ship out of earth's atmosphere?"

Jim grins, blowing a breath through his nose as he sees where General Toq is going with this, "One Captain and one hell of a klingon General."

"Good, than it's settled." Toq declares and slumps back down in comfort, watching as a sly grin forms on the blond human's face, "I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but, General Toq, let's steal the Enterprise."

A few minutes pass before they're able to see the Enterprise looming off in the distance, large construction towers surround it as the necessary repairs are made. Small figures, which look much like ants, scurry about its presence.

"There she is." Jim murmurs and looks over at General Toq, "How exactly do we plan to get inside? I'm a klingon and you Captain, your face is just about one of the most well known faces out there. There's no way we can just stroll inside the Enterprise." Toq huffs, crossing his arms and much to Jim's dismay, the small gesture reminds him slightly of Bones.

"It's my ship, I know my way around. Plus names haven't been given out, the last thing they want is everybody seeing that their poster boy is wanted for arrest." Jim smirks, then a ringing sound goes off by Toq, the General nearly jumps out of the shuttlecraft, "What is that incessant noise?" The klingon exclaims, staring wide eyed at the human, giving him an accusing glare.

Jim rolls his eyes, "Give me my bag."

Toq does as he's told and hands it to him, Jim then proceeds to pull out his PADD and answers the call once he sees who it is, "Bones, how're you doing?" He says cheerfully, making sure that Toq can't be seen in the background of the viewing camera.

"Damn it Jim, you've been gone for hours! Where exactly are you, like you said, you killed the damn trackers in these things." Bones grumbles and sees the uneasiness in Jim's shoulders, "Look Bones, not now, I have some business to attend to."

"With General Toq?" Bones inquires, a brow raised.

The blond sighs, "How'd you know?"

"It's all over the news Jim. A blond man and a klingon are out on the loose. It's everywhere Jim, eventually they're gonna release names and it isn't gonna be pretty for your reputation." The Doctor says, a hand running anxiously through his rugged brown hair.

"Don't worry Bones, General Toq and I have a plan."

"Is that supposed to reassure me?" Bones bursts, hands throwing up into the air before settling down on the top of his head in a stressed manner.

"Bones, I gotta, go. Keep Spock off my back." With that Jim kills the transmission, leaving a dreadful Doctor in the dark.

Jim turns back to Toq, "I need a distraction, think you can give me one?"

Toq nods almost eagerly, "Don't worry Captain Kirk, I can handle that."

"Good." Jim says and starts the shuttlecraft back up and drives up closer, pulling to the security checkout after gesturing Toq to lie down on the floor to avoid discovery. The whole place is blocked off with a chain-linked fence with sharp barbwire at the top, no way over that.

Jim grins sweetly at the officer who hummpfs at his ragged appearance, "ID?"

He pauses. Should he inform this man of his identity? Starfleet hasn't given out any names yet, and this old man looks like he hasn't left the twenty-second century.

"I'm Captain James Kirk." Jim says, hands gesturing to his own face.

The old man squints at him, "Captain James Dirt? What an odd name. And what exactly are you Captain of sonny?"

"Of the Enterprise." Jim replies incredulously with a sigh, "Oh no, that can't be right Captain Dirt, this here is Captain Kirk's ship." The security man responds with a chuckle.

"Oh sorry my bad, I'm here to inspect the ship's repairs. If I don't get in today I'll have to call in to my boss and explain to him why I couldn't get the inspections done in time. So if you'd like to be caught in the middle of that, don't expect another paycheck from the Federation." Jim threatens and the old man rolls his eyes.

"You hotshots. You're all the same. Besides, I was just about to let you in anyways. Threat or not." The man laughs and lifts the barrier with a push of a button.

Jim nods his thanks and drives forward, going into the parking zone and stopping it in the Iowan dirt, "Captain Dirt huh?" Toq says as he sits upright, "Say that again and I kill you." Jim declares, giving the klingon a deathly stare, before deciding to get out.

The blond is the first to climb out, slinging the bag over his shoulder and holding the PADD in his other hand. Toq grunts as he gets out, stretching out his limbs as he does so. Jim gives him one glance before walking towards the site with the klingon following him.

"I will need your sweatshirt Captain." Toq states after a couple moments of silence.

Jim moans, it's one of his favorite hoodies, "Can you even fit in it?"

"Captain, I am a klingon, I will be easily spotted unless I find a way to cover myself. Plus I am still wearing prisoner clothes." Toq points out.

The blond nods slowly, "Alright, but I want this back, you hear me? If I don't get this hoodie back I'll track you down and kill you."

Jim then slips it off and hands it over to his klingon companion. He watches Toq closely as the klingon manages to yank it over his big head and over his body. The sweatshirt fits tightly over his chest and his arms barely fit into the sleeves. Toq raises an eyebrow at him, but he only gives a disapproving glare at the General.

"I also need your PADD."

"No." Jim snaps, shoulders becoming tense.

Toq snorts, "I just need to make it explode, like you did with the other one when we were escaping."

"Fine, but I'm erasing everything before giving it to you." Jim mutters as he opens it up, resetting the device itself and manually blocking different programs to prevent Toq from accessing any of his personal files.

It takes him most of the walk over and when he's done, he gives it to Toq grudgingly.

"How do you make it explode exactly?"

"I installed an explosives device in its hardware and created a program that when a certain code is typed in it initiates the device to blow in ten seconds." Jim explains casually.

"And what is that code?"

Jim smiles, "Well it's different for all PADDs, but that one I believe is either four-four-five-one-two-six or it's 'Bones loves me' and that'd be spelled in all caps, no spaces, and 'love' is spelled L-U-V-S."

"I question your sanity Captain."

"I do as well."

The two continue their way over before splitting apart, Jim heading for the back entrance of the ship to climb up one of the towers while Toq heads for the front to cause a distraction that the blond is still slightly confused on.

Jim strolls casually about, snatching up a discarded jacket and slipping into it, acting more confident to convince people that he belongs here. Many workers don't give him a second glance as he passes by with long determined strides. General Toq on the other hand runs into some problems and quickly and efficiently he heads over to one of the towers.

Before Jim's even taken one step onto the lift to the outside entrance of the ship, a loud explosion rings out and one of the towers at the front of the ship shudders to the ground, collapsing into a heap of rubble. Jim takes it as the sign to get inside.

Hurriedly he rushes inside and activates it, letting it take him to the top. People below him rush to the front, digging through the metal to help fellow coworkers out. Jim's breath hitches, but his thoughts can't linger on whether or not his decision has just killed someone or not, he has to get the Enterprise.

Several workers brush by him in their haste to help out; taking the lift he just used to get to the bottom. His walk to the Auxiliary Room is a silent one, only a few people remain to finish repairs and many Federation officers don't even look his way, not expecting the assailant to be on the ship. But as he rounds the last corner, he sees two guards posted by the entrance of the room.

With a sigh and puts one hand over his left eye and stumbles out from his hiding place and into view of the two guards, "Oww, shit." He gasps, almost keeling over.

Intrigued, the first guard comes over to him, "Sir, are you alright? What happened?" The guard questions, snatching him by the bicep to stabilize him on his feet, "I was working on the panel when something popped and flew into my eye."

"Let me look at it sir." The guard demands and as Jim reveals his face, his other hands sneaks down and snatches the phaser from the guard's holster.

Without warning Jim elbows the first guard in the face and before the second one has time to react he stuns the man. The first guard groans and gets to his feet, only to be stunned as well. Satisfied, Jim puts the phaser into his pants and one at time, drags the stunned guards into a nearby closest and locks it from the outside.

He then heads into the room, feeling quite drained, Bones' worried tone echoes inside his mind. But he has to do this. It's almost over. Soon this will all be over, either it'll work or he'll end up in jail with Spock and Bones joining him in the long run.

Jim takes in a breath and activates the alarms.

A loud wailing sound screams through the hallways of the Enterprise, flashing bright red lights and a calm voice informs everyone to evacuate the Enterprise, due to an unknown chemical leak. Of course this wasn't true, but it's the easiest and fastest way to get everybody off of the ship without having to stun and lock up every single person aboard.

He can only hope that Toq has made it on board, without him, flying the Enterprise into space is going to be a hell a lot harder than it already is.

He waits a few minutes, giving people time to leave his ship before he starts to close off ports and exits. He needs this ship to be ready to go to space and he'd prefer not to get sucked away.

"Captain Kirk."

The voice sends him spinning around, phaser un-holstered and pointed directly at the sound's source, "Shit Toq," He breathes and puts the phaser away.

"C'mon, we gotta go to the Bridge." Jim tells him and begins to lead the way, Toq following behind.

They go through the turbolift, the entire time Jim's foot taps repeatedly against the ground in anxious await of what's to come. Two days ago if someone told him that he was going to get steal the Enterprise with his enemy, General Toq, he would've laughed his head off and told them to stop telling lies. But now that it's actually happening, that he's really here, the reality of it weighs down on his shoulders and it doesn't help with the grinning klingon beside him.

What has he done?

"Captain," Toq gestures forward once the lift doors have opened up, revealing the Bridge.

Instantly Jim feels the calm wash over him, taking over his creased features on his face. Relaxation is evident on his gentle smile as he strolls up to his chair and plops down within its cozy embrace. He almost forgets that Toq is with him. Almost.

"Now what Captain?"

Jim scratches at golden hairs in thought, "Well first things first, I'm turning off that damn alarm." He grumbles and deactivates it with the use of his controls on the chair.

"Now, we fly." Jim announces boldly, jumping to his feet and practically skipping over to Sulu's chair and signaling Toq to sit at Chekov's station, "That's the navigation console, it's under repairs and you'll have to do most of it manually. Which won't be too much, all you gotta know it which way is up. But Chekov would beg to differ."

Toq nods and sits down, scanning over the various buttons and screens.

"Alright, this can't get much worse." Jim mumbles and activates the thrusts, immediately the ship shakes and kicks up dirt around its base.

"Are you sure you know how to take off?" General Toq asks, eyes gleaming with a hint of fear.

"I ran some simulations." Jim shrugs and engages the hover controls to get the ship off the ground.

"But you've never actually flown it, yet alone take off?"

"Never." Jim grins devilishly.

"Doesn't this take years for you humans to learn?"

The blond does another shrug, "Yup. Now I need you to set a course but since we have no idea I just need you to set a general direction and keep her going that way. Our moon is roughly three-hundred and fifty thousand kilometers away, Spock would consider that crude, but I call it estimating. So since we have a distance and we already know the direction, we're good."

Toq looks at him with disbelief, "What if we crash into your moon?"

"We won't, now you better hurry because I'm about to punch it." Jim warns, starting the Warp engines.

"Punch what?"

"The gas."

Toq lets a brief expression of horror flicker across his face. This human is truly insane. He puts in the commands and feels the g-force as Jim 'punches it' and the Enterprise lurches forward in the sudden acceleration.

Towers crumble, buildings blur, clouds whisk away, and blue skies turn into rich blackness of space as the Enterprise peels away from earth's grasp and is set free to roam about in stardust. Immediately the hailing system goes off, indicating that Starfleet noticed. They always do.

With much swagger and enjoyment, Jim hops out of the chair and to Uhura's station, sending the call to the view screen.

"Goddamn it Kirk, its true." Admiral Archer's voice hisses out once contact is fully established.

The blond just grins stupidly, "No much of a surprise huh?"

"Kirk, Starfleet is barely managing to keep your identity concealed. You're looking at prison for the rest of your life kid after a good court marshal. Got reports from all around the northeast, saying they saw Captain James Kirk and a klingon. Prison kid, you're looking at prison." Archer growls, almost ripping the hairs out of the base of his skull, "And that goes for your friends Spock and Doctor McCoy. Quite a shame considering their achievements." He adds.

Jim tenses at the mention of his best friends' names, "Hold up Admiral, I didn't do this all in vain."

Archer chuckles, "Oh I hope so, you have a hell lot of explaining to do."

Then the rest of the Admiralty appear before him, making his heart clutch in sudden fear, "Alright, may I have your attention on the one and only General Toq." Jim says with a fancy bow and gestures towards the klingon.

Toq glances over at Kirk; the human gives him a nod to proceed. With a huff the General gets to his feet, standing before the Federation Admiralty. He eyes them all down, searching for the familiar one and when he sees him, he grins evilly and he can see the man visibly shudder.

"Greetings, I am General Toq as you all very well know. I've come here, with Captain Kirk, to inform all of you-" Toq begins but gets interrupted by Marcus, "Kirk! Are we supposed to believe this shit? Who do you think we are? He's a klingon; anything he says is going to be a lie."

"Admiral Marcus, sir, with all due respect, I suggest you listen to General Toq. A klingon he may be, but just because he isn't human doesn't mean he isn't capable of honesty. Unless you believe in stereotypes, that all klingons are evil and power thirsty, then in all means go ahead Admiral Marcus, be racist but I believe that us humans have longed moved past that primitive hate, but if you can't accept the fact that he's a klingon then I don't think we're much better than those power hungry savages that call themselves klingons, sir." Jim Kirk counters, stepping beside Toq in his defense.

Marcus glares him down, but finally gives a nod of submission.

"Thank you." Jim whistles and signals for Toq to continue.

The General gives a courteous nod before following up on his story, "Admirals, not too long ago Captain Kirk received specific orders to gather information on a star close to the Neutral Zone, right by the planet Superstes, which is located in klingon territory. I took my ship to the same star, I had received the same information from one of your own officers, that officer also guaranteed me an inside man, well, in this case woman. Ensign Laura was her name. And with her help, I was able to coordinate a proper attack. She killed the Enterprise's engines so my ship was able to attach to the Enterprise, but the supernova went off and both our ships crashed onto the planet Superstes. During that time I was able to gain control of the Enterprise, I even had made plans to leave the planet with it, but Captain Kirk and his crew managed to overcome my own crew and they ruined my plans."

Toq pauses, letting the information sink in before continuing, "But all of that wouldn't have been possible without Admiral Ward giving me the location of Enterprise and sending me information of the Enterprise's layout."

Instantly all of the Admirals turned to face the singled out Admiral, the short and stocky brunette. The one and only Admiral Ward.

"You can't be serious?" Ward exclaims, glaring at all his fellow Admirals, "You can't seriously believe this buffoon and his circus monkey!"

The human and the klingon exchange a look of uncertainty. Their whole plan hangs in the balance. The moments of silence kills them the most.

"Captain Kirk, is there any further information that needs to be disclosed?" Pike asks and all the other Admirals nod in agreement, besides one infuriated Admiral Ward.

Jim swallows, "This morning Admiral Ward tried to arrest my First Officer, Mister Spock, and if it weren't for Admiral Archer, Mister Spock would have been taken into custody. But Admiral Ward also warned Mister Spock of his plans of having me murdered."

"This is outrageous!" One Admiral cries out and some others murmur in accord, "Admiral Ward, is this true?" Archer demands and once more they all focus on Admiral Ward, "Of course not! Why would I do such a thing?" Ward points out, but they can all see the beads of sweat running down his forehead and the palpable fear written across his face.

"Admirals, I must make known my statement."

"We're listening." Pike says, nodding for him to continue as the others fall silent once again.

Jim nods his thanks, "Admirals, I want to be free of any charges, I will not be demoted and I shall remain Captain of the Enterprise. General Toq will remain in further Federation custody until I order for him to join me on the Enterprise and no harm will come to him. As of my crew, they too will be free of all charges, including Spock and Doctor McCoy, they will all remain part of the Enterprise crew. I want the Enterprise and you will give it to me."

"And why is that Captain?" Ward sneers is annoyance.

The blond grins, that lopsided one, "Because, if you don't throw Admiral Ward in prison and everything doesn't return back to normal, I will broadcast a worldwide signal and spread the word of the Federation's corrupt Admiralty. This will get out, trust me, I have some very capable friends. Then this 'perfect' utopia, where we all live in 'peace' bullshit will fall apart before your eyes because all of you got to stuck up on being apathetic shit heads with too much power to realize that you just threw the man who saved the world, your one and only golden boy, in prison to rot."

"Boy, that's a lot of threats coming out of your mouth; you may want to slow down." Archer warns and the tension rises.

"Not until you guarantee that everything I said will be done."

Archer shakes his head, "We can't promise you anything Kirk."

"Then I can't promise you if you'll still have your jobs in a week."

All the Admirals huff and begin to discuss amongst themselves before turning back over to Jim, "Fine, fine. Deal, but no word of this gets out, you hear me? If it does we'll have one hell of a shit storm on our hands."

"Wait! You can't do this!" Admiral Ward wails, but one of the Admirals orders his arrest and he's quickly taken away by the redshirts.

"Now, land that ship boy." Pike demands sternly.

Jim gives look over at Toq, then back to the viewing screen, "Not until I see First Officer Spock and Doctor McCoy up on that viewing screen and I see an official document that's been signed that declares my statement valid and will be followed through with."

Archer rolls his eyes, "Damn the boy is paranoid. Someone find me Spock and Doctor McCoy!"

* * *

"…and then it took around twenty hours for us to actually establish contact with Spock and Doctor McCoy, they were so damn paranoid they thought it was a trick. But once we did get contact they sealed the deal for me and Toq and I beamed up Sulu and Chekov to actually land the Enterprise, since I didn't know how." Jim draws a sign, sinking into the metal chair, gaze fixating on the purple rings of bruises on his wrists, they took the chains off about two hours ago after he had drifted unconscious.

"Then what happened?" The voice prompts.

The blond startles slightly, he's been becoming less and less coherent the longer he sits here, barely being fed any food or water, "I uhh…Well you know the rest. We get fixed up, head out, then we get in trouble so we get sent back to earth where the Khan thing starts. Then after that, I take Toq and we go after Kodos."

"Is that everything Captain Kirk? Are you sure you don't remember the night after you and Doctor McCoy spend the night in the cell with Kodos holding you captive?"

Jim visibly shivers, "No, I don't remember. After that night I woke up here."

"Very well, thank you Captain Kirk."

Then the room becomes oddly silently, the voice disappears.

"Wait! Hey come back! Your promised me you would let me see my friends!" Jim shouts, trying to get to his feet, but he's electrocuted and sent spiraling to the floor, withering in excruciating pain.

Once it stops he finally takes gulps of air, "You bastards."

The door opens, two humanoid figures enter the dark room, both wearing black baggy jumpsuits with a helmet with a blacked out visor, looking very much like a hazard suit.

Jim struggles as the pair grab him by either arm and begin to lead him away.

"Let go…" Jim moans, blinking against the bright lights that he's now exposed to, this being the first time that he has been out of that black hellhole, and it doesn't help with the all white walls, ceilings, and floor. Quite a contrast with their jet-black suits.

He's dragged away until finally they come to abrupt stop. A door swings open and he's tossed inside with little care. His body lands on a cushioned floor. It's a padded cell.

Panicked, he springs to his feet and to the door, but it's slammed shut on his face and he ends up falling back to the floor.

"Open up you bastards!" He screams, starting to pound on the door.

But after several futile minutes, he's left to accept the reality. He's stuck in this white padded cell and he's probably never going to leave. Jim looks about, finding nothing that will satisfy him.

Initially, he paces, paces back and forth incessantly. But he tires himself and he falls asleep standing, ending with him crashing to the ground, in deep slumber. He only awakens a few hours later, and that's when he notices the food and water set out for him in bowls, as if he was some kind of animal. At first he refuses to eat and drink, simply starving himself to the bone. But after going two days without eating or drinking, those men in the suits come in and force him to, strapping him down to a bed and hooking needles and tubes into him until he gives in and actually eats the food they serve him.

With that lesson, he decides to not take his little liberties for granted. He eats the food they give him, and if he behaves, sometimes they feed him again that same day. Half the day he spends working out, gaining his strength, plus it gives him something to do. His day consists of waking up, eating the food they set out for him, working out, napping, and more working out and if he's lucky he'd get another meal before he falls asleep for six hours or so.

But after several months of the same thing, it starts to become quite episodic, leaving Jim to descend into deep depression. It starts with the small things. He begins to sleep in the corner of the room, instead of splayed out in the middle of the floor. Then he stops working out, instead he either paces, rocks or talks to himself until he slips back into a fitful slumber.

The one thing that remains with him is his eating habits. He eats the food because he fears bring strapped back down in that bed, forced to be fed with tubes. It brings back too many memories of Tarsus IV and that's the last thing he wants right now.

Weeks later, his depression only grows and he starts hurting himself. Biting, scratching, running into walls, all of it. But luckily, his time with the straight jacket only lasts for three weeks, while he goes through the stages of denial, not accepting his fate in that padded room. During this time, the things he loves like the Enterprise, his crew, his friends, Spock, even Bones seem to blur away. He can't remember their names, he can barely remember his own. That's one of the first things his captors started doing, they never called him by his name, but deep down he clung onto it, trying to keep it alive in his memories, afraid to lose himself forever. But that didn't stop his suicide attempts and the pain that comes with it.

But since he's James Tiberius Kirk, he makes small recoveries, because he's too damn stubborn to stay that way permanently and he's able to live through his suicidal phase. Well, at least with the best of abilities. The men in the black suits begin to give him medication for his depression and soon his original routine starts back up again, but he never fully gains the muscle back, and the bags beneath his eyes never leave. The pacing stops as well as any suicide attempts, but the murmuring and rocking stays with him and his favorite spot in the room became the left corner on the side of the door so when the guards peak through the window, they can't see him.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. The cycle never ended, until it did.

For Jim, this day was the greatest of them all.

Jim's hellish nightmare wakes him to full throttle as he screams and bursts from the corner of the room and jumps to the next, panting heavily to shake the feeling.

The door opens, startling him, but it's only the guard, who refers to himself Agent.

"Hey Buddy, how are we doing today?" Agent asks, crouching beside him after shutting the door. Over the course of months, Jim has learned to trust Agent, his voice sounds kind, but it's slightly gruff do to the mask.

Jim just shakes his head in response and puts his head in his hands.

"Buddy, I brought you some food? It's the good stuff, I brought from my home," Agent offers, holding out a brown loaf, which smells of sweet bananas.

The aroma fills his nostrils and the blond looks it greedily, but then gives an almost nervous glance at Agent.

"Oh don't worry Buddy, there's nothing you're allergic to in there. I double checked myself."

Content with the answer, Jim takes the bread from Agent's hand and stuffs it into his mouth, savoring every bite of it. Once he's finished Agent ruffles his hair playfully.

"Hey, so Buddy, someone is coming by later today to come see you. So one of my friends and I have decided to clean you up just a bit. Is that okay with you?"

Jim nods slowly and crawls away to snatch up his bowl of water. He drinks it before setting it down.

"Alright then, why don't we start now?" Agent suggests and helps Jim to his feet, "I know, it's been awhile since you've been out of your room. What is it now, five weeks? Maybe six?"

Jim just nods and lets Agent open the door to reveal the 'Great White' as he likes to call it. He grabs Agent's suit as they pass by other men in suits, not quite sure if they'll get angry at him for being out of his room or not. Last time he tried to escape, which was so long ago, they beat him and threw him back in his room and kept the lights off for a whole week before they turned them back on.

"So my friend, Doctor, is going to help me give you a haircut and a quick shave, then I'll take you to the shower, alright?" Agent tells him, leading him down another hall and to a numbered room where his friend, Doctor, was waiting for them.

"Doctor, this is Buddy, and I'm called Agent around this guy." Agent informs him and steers Jim to the chair where he plops down, heart rate escalating as he sees all the razors and tools.

Agent bends down to face him, "It's alright Buddy, he won't hurt you, I trust him."

Jim nods and becomes noticeably calmer around Doctor. Agent then nods and gives Doctor the go ahead, "Alright, what type of haircut are we doing today Agent?"

Agent hums and taps his fingers against his chin in thought, "Cut the sides short, about two and half inches? And the top an inch longer, but blend it together nicely."

"You got it Agent." Doctor replies and turns on the razor.

Jim only flinches slightly as he feels his hair being buzzed away. And actually, it makes him feel a whole lot better once those greasy strands of long hair are freed from his head.

"And what about the beard?" Doctor questions after a good ten minutes of cutting, "Shave it all off, just be careful, he doesn't like people grabbing near his throat." Agent warns his friend softly.

Doctor huffs, "I don't think anybody likes being grabbed by the throat."

The man in the suit then comes closer, "Alright Buddy, hold still, I'm just going to shave that nasty beard off okay?"

Jim nods and closes his eyes, trying to relax as his beard is slowly removed from his face.

It doesn't take long until he's shaven clean and Doctor says his goodbyes before Agent leads him away to the next room where he hands him new clothes and a running shower is set up for him.

"That should be a good temperature, you have couple minutes to wash up, there should already be some soap in there, and there's the towel. I'll be right outside this door if you need anything." Agent declares and closes the door behind himself, leaving Jim with a running shower and an armful of clothes.

Jim sighs and sets it down, stripping himself of his clothes and entering the shower, letting the warm water wash away all the built up dirt and grime of the past few months. He finds the soap that Agent told him about and he dumps it into his hands before scrubbing it into his hair and over his body.

A couple of minutes pass before he shuts off the water and steps out, wrapping a towel around his skinny body and drying off quickly to dress himself. There's not even mirror in the room, but then again, he doesn't want to see himself anyways.

Hair spiked in all directions, he opens the door to welcome the sight of Agent waiting for him, "Done already? That was really quick Buddy." Agent tells him and begins to guide him away.

"We're going back to you room, there you can finish your food. Then later, at night you'll get to see a visitor. I don't know who but I'm sure you'll have fun either way." Agent chats on and comes to a stop once they reach his room.

Agent unlocks it and lets Jim walk inside, "Alright, I guess I'll see you later? Okay see ya Buddy."

Then the door is shut and locked in place, leaving Jim alone once more in the padded cell. Though he does feel much better after that haircut and refreshing shower. Now all he has to do is wait for tonight and he'll get to see this 'visitor'.

Jim passes the time with pushups, snacking, and quick power naps.

He hums, pushing himself up into a sitting position and takes a small bit out of the weird mushy stuff they're serving him today. It doesn't taste right, but he doesn't care, as long as he gets food. Then, right on time, two men in suits enter, they come in every day at the same time to do his medication. He used to fight it, but now he just squeezes his eyes shut and allows them to inject the liquid into his forearm.

Afterwards, the men leave without word and he is once more alone in his cell.

Time only seems to grow longer, as he lies in the middle of the room bored out of his mind. Jim then takes up the time to rock back in forth in his favorite corner of the room, humming a gentle tune to himself as he rocks.

Then sudden loud shouts echo from outside of his room. Instantly he freezes, waiting for the noise to go away.

"I can walk myself, thank you very much!" the voice snaps angrily.

"I'm sorry sir." A voice replies, and Jim recognizes it as Agent, "Now please sir, he's not stable, let me go in with you."

"Oh screw off. It's your fault he's like this in the first place. You damn sadistic bastards. Here, do I have to show you this again? Because I'm taking him home. He's coming with me! Did you get that through you're thick skull?"

"Yes sir, I did, now please step back so I may open the door." Agent states plainly, already annoyed with the stubborn man before him.

Agent unlocks the door slowly and gestures for the man to enter, "Thank you," The man grumbles and steps inside, quickly surveying the room, almost not catching those blue gleaming eyes gazing up at him.

He turns fully around to face his best friend, and the smile that lights up on the blond's face is enough to send him to tears.

Jim's grin is so big he thinks his mouth might tear, and the name that surges into his mind is so familiar, but he's not sure it belongs to the man before him, he hasn't seen that man in so long, he had forgotten about him. But he decides to say it anyways. As he says the name, it just sounds so right that he just knows it's him.

"Bones."

 **Author's Note: Yes I know, yall hate cliffhangers, but don't worry, I have plans for the next chapter, but here's the deal, I'm not going to release it (this is only if I get it done on time) until Christmas Eve, because it'll be my gift to you guys because yall have been the best fans that anyone could ask for. I don't know how yall read my stuff, but you do and that'll forever fascinate me. I believe that the next chapter will be the last, but knowing me, there's always a chance it won't be. But I need a good ending that wraps things together and somehow everything just works out. Unfortunately happy endings aren't up my alley, but I'll try because stories with sad endings never feel complete to me, yall know what I'm saying? Okay, if yall read this far surely you must be crazy and if you're crazy you'll enjoy this update because I want to let yall know that if you message me I'm planning on doing a writing prompt series where yall just send me prompts and I'll write them, but I don't know where to start, so if yall have any, just message me. Okay, now I'll leave yall alone. Live Long and Prosper.**


	28. Happy Xmas

A _Star Trek_ Fiction

 _"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."_

Confused

 **Chapter 28: 'Happy Xmas (War Is Over)' _John Lennon_**

 **Author's Note: This is the first chapter that comes from Bones' perspective on things, and it starts back at the day when him and Jim were trapped in the cell so yall will find out just what exactly has been happening.**

 **I'm gonna be honest with yall, I'm not sure if you read the "Author's Note", because I'll admit it, sometimes I don't either, but I wanted to just tell yall, that when writing this chapter, I really struggled on gathering and wrapping up the story. I actually finished the whole chapter with a few days to spare originally, but I ended rewriting the whole middle section of this chapter, in hopes of making it fulfilling and worthwhile because I know yall deserve the best. So, after all these months, all the days spent writing, late nights of editing, and all the times I chose this over homework, this one is for you guys. Merry Christmas.**

If Leonard McCoy would've known it'd take eight months to get Jim Kirk back, back into his life, he would've done everything differently. But of course that's not how it turned out. This is how it happened, this is his story…

Loud noises protrude from outside the metal door, sending echoes into the cramped cell, and stirring the Starfleet officers within. Leonard shifts the dead weight in his arms and moans, feeling Jim shiver and whimper in his sleep. The drug flowing through his best friend's veins has induced many of the same symptoms that he originally had when Leonard first found him. That night spent in the tree, with Jim vomiting all over himself and the Doctor included. Yup, that god awful day.

Leonard sinks down.

Jim was right, one does get used to the blood. Though that doesn't mean he enjoys it. Leonard glances down, staring at Jim thoughtfully. Not too long ago Jim was crying for him, kicking and grabbing madly as if in hopes of getting his attention. It didn't work. Leonard had decided on simply watching him wither in pain, rather than trying to help.

It all just seems so hopeless.

Has he lost the will to live? No, that sounds too corny. Perhaps he just kind of lost the will to live? Or maybe just doesn't care much anymore? Probably a little apathetic. Yeah, that sounds right, apathetic. Apathetic towards Jim, towards this mission, towards this life? Who knows, he's just damn apathetic right now and he has learned to be okay with it. Doesn't mean it'll stay that way.

The door swings open, reminding him that he had heard noises not too long ago.

"Identify yourself!" Orders a man, wearing bright red, carrying a flashlight and phaser. Took Starfleet long enough to get their lazy asses over here.

"I'm Doctor McCoy and I have Captain Kirk with me!" Leonard replies, trying to rouse Jim from his slumber, but the kid is a rock in his arms.

The man nods and comes closer, three other men following close behind while two others guard the doorway, "Sir, I'm Lieutenant Hendorff and we're here to rescue you." Hendorff announces.

McCoy huffs, "Now that sounds corny." He murmurs to himself and accepts the help from the other redshirts.

Two different ensigns pick up Kirk and the Lieutenant leads them out the door. Leonard walks with them, gazing at Jim's limp form. The damn kid's gonna need a hell lot of medical attention when they get back home.

Hendorff stops abruptly, signaling for everyone to halt, "What's going on?" Leonard whispers over, but he gets hushed by a nearby redshirt.

Hendorff pulls out his communicator, "First Officer Spock, is the exit clear?"

There's static before finally Spock's voice breaks in, "Yes, we are holding the natives off, but they will break through are defenses in approximately five-point-thirty-two minutes. Have you successfully located the Captain and Doctor McCoy?"

"Yes, we're coming to you, Hendorff out." The Lieutenant flips his communicator shut and pockets it before signaling his men to move forward.

"Lieutenant Hendorff, what exactly is going on here? What natives?" McCoy questions as the start to move once more, "Turns out there's some vicious natives living here, fairly primitive, but they got quantity over quality on us and we have strict orders not to kill so all phasers are set to stun."

"What about the Prime Directive?" Leonard exclaims, not that he ever actually agreed with the Prime Directive, it all just seems so out of whack, Starfleet firing upon natives? People on earth are going to be rioting against the Federation for years once they get word of this.

Hendorff turns to the Doctor, "Doctor McCoy, this is a black op mission. Starfleet couldn't give a shit whether we killed a native or not, it's just about getting their favorite blond boy out alive."

McCoy falls silent and doesn't ask any more questions as he's led out of the building, Jim not even stirring from all the movement. Throughout the time though, neither Kodos nor General Toq is spotted, as if they've just vanished.

Soon they're outside and all thoughts disappear once he sees Spock. Usually he does a good job at hiding his joy whenever he sees the damn vulcan, but after all of this, seeing Spock alive and well makes a smile spring up on his face. Now this is a time for Jim to be making a comment about how Leonard has secretly been in love with Spock this whole time and he would smack the incredulous blond on the back of the head and tell him to shut up. But Jim's dead appearance says otherwise.

"Lieutenant Hendorff, this way. We've managed to clear a pathway for our escape." Spock calls them over, "And where are we going exactly?" McCoy grumbles, arms crossing and acting as if the phaser fire going over his own damn head doesn't exist, all he cares about is getting Jim off of this damn planet.

"Doctor McCoy, it is most reassuring that you are still alive. Your medical skills are still very much needed aboard the Enterprise to maintain the same efficiency as before." Spock says instead of actually answering the question, Leonard almost blushes, "If that's your way of saying 'I'm glad you're still alive' than you need to work on your enthusiasm."

"Doctor, I see no point in discussing that matter right now, currently we are on a battlefield with the Captain wounded and in need of urgent medical attention." Spock informs him, eyebrow raised.

"Hey look, you guys are all cute and all, but I have a Captain to save and if we stay here any longer he's gonna be a dead Captain by the looks of it." Hendorff snaps, interrupting their playful banter.

"Kill joy." Leonard mutters under his breath and turns back to Spock, "Okay, so I'll say this again, where are we going?"

"Doc, we got two shuttles, one of them is the shuttle your Captain used to get here. The one I brought has a medical team on standby, waiting for me to bring the Captain in. So First Officer Spock here is going to take you and Ensign Cook and Smith to the other shuttle while I take the rest of my men to mine." Hendorff explains quickly, firing off a few shots to help hold off the natives, which seem to resemble much of a monkey of some sort.

"Oh hell no! I'm staying with the Captain!" Leonard protests, glaring Hendorff down, "Look, there's no time for argument." Hendorff snaps and gestures for his men to round up.

"Doctor, Lieutenant Hendorff is correct. Besides, the Lieutenant's medical team is more than capable of caring for the Captain, as of you, you are of no physical or mental condition to give the care that the Captain needs right now." Spock intervenes, and places a hand on his chest when Hendorff begins to leave with the unconscious Jim Kirk.

"C'mon Spock, not you too." McCoy mutters, staring longingly after the blond.

Spock follows his gaze, "Don't worry Doctor; he will be well cared for. Now please, we must go this way."

Leonard frowns, "But that's the opposite way that they're going."

"But this is where the Captain landed his shuttle. Ensign Cook and Smith take lead, Doctor McCoy and I will watch behind. Be alert, there are still many natives out here." Spock orders and the two ensigns nod their heads and take point as instructed.

Leonard huffs and gets up, letting Spock cover him with several fires from his phaser, "If we planned on walking, than the natives sure as hell didn't get the same memo." The Doctor mumbles, grabbing Spock by the bicep and dragging him along for the long haul.

"Doctor, I believe these natives don't have the capabilities of creating an artificial intelligence let alone a complex program that can receive messages such as memos." Spock points out, taking a quick glance over at Cook and Smith making sure they are going in the right direction.

The brunette rolls his eyes, "Ever heard of a singing telegram?"

"Yes, I have. They started around late nineteenth century in your earth's history." Spock replies nonchalantly while also discharging his weapon at the proceeding natives who have decided to start throwing rocks at them.

"Why do you never realize I'm being sarcastic? Damn hobgoblin." McCoy grunts, jumping over a fallen tree with Spock following in suit.

"Mister Cook! Mister Smith! You better get your asses moving a bit faster unless you want to become someone else's dinner!" Leonard hollers up at them as he feels a few rocks nick his legs.

"Doctor, I do pick up on your sarcasm, I just chose to ignore it because it will only follow to more sarcasm and insult to my kind." Spock defends himself, against both McCoy and the tailing natives.

"Do you guys ever shut up?" Ensign Cook shouts over his shoulder before tripping over a rock, sending him faceplanting into the ground.

Quickly Leonard scoops him up and brings him back to his feet, "C'mon kid, keep going." He encourages and Cook nods his thanks and picks the pace back up.

"I see it! There's the shuttle!" Smith calls from several yards ahead.

Leonard's eyes widen. The ship looks like it's been under some heavy weather for only being here for a couple of days. Then again this planet doesn't have the nicest weather in the galaxy, "Is that thing gonna even start?" McCoy exclaims, following Smith to shuttle while Spock and Cook hold off the natives.

"I guess we'll find out." Smith replies and opens the back hatch, ushering everyone inside, "Hurry, c'mon guys!" Smith yells at them.

Leonard is the first one inside, second is Cook, closely followed by Spock and Smith before they shut the door right in the natives' faces. They only take a brief moment to breathe before they're jumping into chairs and strapping down, Spock and Leonard taking the front seats while Cook and Smith take the back.

"Alright, she better fly." The Doctor grumbles and Spock looks at him, "Doctor, the possibility of this shuttlecraft successfully taking off and making it through this planet's atmosphere is-" Spock starts but gets cut off by Leonard, "Damn it Spock, I don't need statistics, I just want you to get us off this damn planet!"

"Very well Doctor." Spock responds calmly and activates the shuttle.

There's a few moments of just the natives pounding on the sides of the craft, but then the engine purrs into life and they begin to hover off of the ground. Everyone in the shuttle smiles with relief, besides Spock who just raises an eyebrow at their joy.

"Takes us home Mister Spock." Leonard sighs, patting the vulcan on the shoulder.

Spock just nods and pulls away from the ground, taking them back up. At that moment, McCoy finds a new peace within himself. Home. That sounds nice. It's been long overdue. Once they're back on the Enterprise, he's ordering an immediate shore leave. Then he and Jim can go back to Georgia, spend some time with his mother just like they did after Khan finally got locked away and Jim woke up from his coma.

It's been a hard couple of years for all of them. Damn it all.

"How far out are we?" Leonard asks, eyes already drooping in sleep.

"Don't worry Doctor McCoy, we will be home soon. I suggest you take the time to rest." Spock informs him rather gently, "Already planning on it." Leonard mumbles and it only takes a minute before he's out like a light.

If McCoy had known he'd sleep for the next eight hours, he would've never even dared to close his eyes. But since he had, he missed them all boarding the Enterprise and thank goodness he didn't wake up when Spock carried him bridal style to Sickbay after the halls had been cleared appropriately, technically, this is a black op mission, there for the crew aren't allowed to know what exactly is happening.

But when his brown eyes do, open, welcoming the sight of the ceiling of Sickbay, he's a twinge confused. His mind is fogged and his memory is a bit hazy. After several moments of pure blinking, he realizes that the damn pointy eared bastard has been staring down at him this whole time, something of a mixture of amusement foreshadowed by sorrow, twinkling in those soulless eyes.

"Doctor McCoy." Spock greets him when Leonard finally acknowledges his presence.

Leonard groans as he sits upright, "How long have I been out? Feels like weeks considering how damn stiff my neck is."

"Eight point zero two hours Doctor. And in regards to your neck, maybe the pillow was of some offense?" Spock replies with hint of mirth in his expression as Leonard sits upright.

The Doctor just grumbles, "I didn't wake up for just to hear you offend me." He then sighs, stifling a yawn as he does so, "How's Jim doin? Damn kid probably already escaped without me babysitting his ass."

Spock noticeably cringes and remains silent, contemplating his next words.

"Spock, what's wrong with Jim?" Leonard instantly picks up the vulcan's sudden change in mood, "Doctor, I didn't want to inform you so soon." The Science Officer begins rather slowly, "What Spock? Just spit it out for god's sake man!"

"Leonard, Jim's missing."

"Wait-what?" McCoy splutters, disbelief written clearly across his brow, "How? Hendorff said he'd take care of him! Where is the bastard now, let me speak to him."

"Leonard," Spock uses his first name again, sending red flags up in his mind, just like Jim had done once before after his interview with Officer Huss, "Lieutenant Hendorff and his team never made it back to their shuttle and all search parties have come up negative on locating the Captain."

The brunette stiffens, his gut twisting in excruciating pain from the sudden anguish growing in his stomach, "No, it can't be Spock. No damn it I saw him, he was fine, they were going to make it." The Doctor argues, shaking his head, but even his mind he knows that he's just going through denial.

"While though the odds are against it, there may be a slight chance that Jim maybe still alive. But with his current condition when last seen, it is unlikely he is still alive." Spock informs him, almost shying away from the Doctor's desperate gaze.

Leonard shakes his head again, "No, he's not gone Spock, he can't be…" God his voice is so close to cracking he has to stop himself before he loses it in front of Spock.

"Doctor, I suggest you get some rest, I will continue to coordinate search teams and I will inform you of their findings once you have slept properly." Spock declares, rising from his seat and casually slipping his hands behind his back.

McCoy nods, "Just bring him home okay? That's why I am here, to take care of him Spock, if he isn't here…well, I'm not here either really."

Spock nods solemnly to Leonard before dismissing himself from the room, leaving with long and graceful strides. The Doctor sighs and lies back down, letting his eyelids flutter shut. Even with the fear of not finding Jim lingering within his mind, sleep overtakes him and drags him down, burying him underneath heavy unconsciousness where he only finds a dreamless sleep.

The brunette doesn't wake up until several hours later, with a growling stomach and glassy eyes. He blinks, clearing his blurry vision and stretching his limbs slightly, but he groans as his muscles protest the movement.

Nurse Chapel enters the room, her smile strained on her lips as she approaches him, "Hello Doctor," Christine begins, trying to make her smile more cheerful, but it wavers on her face.

"I'm off duty, it's just Leonard." McCoy corrects, watching her awkward movements around the bed and occasionally glancing up at the bio-readings to keep notes, "There's nothing wrong with me," Leonard huffs, looking over at the paled nurse, "Better safe than sorry Leonard." She replies nicely, patting him on the shoulder and turning to leave.

"Wait, Nurse Chapel?"

The blond faces him, taking a couple steps forward, "Yes?" Christine prompts, arms crossing, and Leonard's pretty sure she got that from him.

"Can you send Spock down here?" He asks, meeting her intense gaze.

Chapel chuckles lightly, "Leonard, it's in the middle of Gamma shift, I believe First Officer Spock is meditating."

"Oh, I've been out for awhile then…any sign of Jim?"

The Nurse shakes her head sorrowfully, "No signs of any of them. It's as if they just disappeared."

McCoy sighs hoarsely, "How long until Starfleet tells us to quit?"

"Just go to sleep Leonard, surely by Alpha shift we'll find him." Christine insists, grinning kindly at him.

He nods, letting his body sink back down. The last thing he sees is Christine sadly shaking her head and walking away, leaving him to be consumed by the power of exhaustion. When he comes around once more, the vulcan is hovering over him, the stress and frustration furrowed on his brow so obviously but only if one has been his friend for many years.

"Spock," He greets lousily, sitting upright and feeling the blood rush to his head, making him blink a few times to gain his vision. When he moves, he feels the tug of an IV, hooked into his forearm.

Leonard groans.

"Beta shift starts in twelve point three minutes Doctor." Spock tells him, rising from the chair he has been sitting in and places his hands behind his back, staring considerately down at the brunette.

But Leonard doesn't care, he only has one thing on mind and Spock knows it. The damn vulcan is just avoiding it.

"Where's Jim, Spock?" He demands once more, his gaze fixating onto Spock's black eyes, searching for an answer within those emotionless eyes. But it's like trying to find a needle within a haystack.

Spock thoughtfully repositions his stance before replying, "Doctor McCoy, James T. Kirk and the rest of the rescue team has been declared MIA as of o'six hundred hours this morning. Starfleet is sending another team over, but we've been ordered to leave once they arrive in approximately three days."

Leonard shakes his head in denial, "No, we can't leave. Where would we go? The Enterprise needs her Captain Spock!"

"Doctor, the Enterprise has been told to return to earth, and as of her Captain, I have formally been put in charge until we find the Captain."

McCoy sighs, resting back down within the bed. It was going to be a long three days, one of which he'll never forget. The first day is unsuccessful, but at the very least he's discharged from sickbay and ordered a clean bill of health. He's only scolded once by Nurse Chapel to start eating more. Then, after a sleepless night, day two rolls around. Leonard even manages to get on the team for the search party. They come up with nothing, not even a sign that Jim Kirk had been on the damn planet in the first place. When they come back, McCoy doesn't bother talking to Spock, or even eating, he goes straight to bed, forcing some sleep into his body.

The third day is the worst.

It starts with Leonard throwing himself out of bed, seeing that he only has twenty minutes until the very last search party goes down before the Enterprise leaves for earth.

"Shit." He grumbles, rustling through his clothes until he finds the correct shirt and pants. He puts it on quickly and replicates a quick cup of coffee while he ties on his boots. Leonard doesn't even stop to check his hair in mirror as he snatches his hot drink and medkit and rushes to the Transporter Room.

A sick feeling begins to fester in his gut. This is their last chance at finding Jim, until they have to leave and if Jim does get found, he won't be able to see him in weeks.

Just the thought sends shivers through his spine.

When he reaches the room, Spock and Uhura are already in full gear; Scotty is at the console and two redshirts are at standby, ready to beam down.

"Aww, there you are laddie, we weren't certain if you were gonna show." Scotty comments as he brushes past and takes a sip of his drink, "I slept in." Leonard merely states, finding little need of conversation, he's already tired as it is.

"Have all your things Doctor?" Spock asks, craning his neck over at the grumbling brunette, only to catch glimpse of what he can only guess is a snort, "Let's get this over with." Leonard mutters, still drinking his coffee when Scotty says, "Beaming now."

The weather is the first thing to hit him, the bitter chill of the planet, shaking him down to his core. If Jim's still alive, there's no way he could survive in this. It's hell frozen over. Spock to his left summons them over wordlessly, more than likely the memories are coming back to the vulcan as well. All the pain and suffering that took place. All of Jim's cries and tears that he could not fix. Everything.

The small party continues a bit further in silence, letting their surroundings consume them and their mute plea to find their beloved Captain. Oh how they long to see those bright blue eyes, tussles of golden hair, and the smile pulling on his lips. Just the way he laughs can light up the whole Bridge. His voice is soothing and he commands with the wave of his hand. The way he walks is confident and trusting, maybe even a little cocky. And then the twinkle in his eyes he gets when he stares at his crew, Leonard just knows that deep down, there's a broken soul that longs to love but has forgotten how.

"Doctor, I believe we should split up." Spock announces, pausing and waiting for everyone to catch up to him at the front, "This will be the location of our rendezvous if anything happens."

"Lieutenant Uhura and Doctor McCoy, take the west side while the Ensigns shall come with me." The vulcan declares and signals them off.

McCoy just hummpfs and follows the Communications Officer deeper into the forest blindly, still drinking his cup of coffee, that despite the cold, is quite hot.

"Are you going to be alright Leonard?" Nyota questions rather quietly, he almost didn't pick it up through his minds rambling thoughts, "I got coffee." He replies simply, taking another sip, careful not to burn his tongue.

Nyota shakes her head, ponytail swishing gently in the breeze, "Not the coffee Leonard. I'm talking about Jim."

Leonard noticeably bristles, "I know what you were talking about. I just didn't wanna answer it."

"How come?"

"Because we're not going to find him." McCoy points out bluntly, boots crunching on the leaves, "I can feel it in my bones." He continues with a dry strained laugh.

Uhura shakes her head again, "It's Kirk, he'll find a way."

"Oh I'm sure he'll find a way, he's James Tiberius Kirk, it's just not gonna be a way that I like." McCoy snaps, then sighs, letting his shoulder sag before running a hand over his face, "The damn kid causes me so much worry."

She pauses, placing a hand on the Doctor's shoulder, "We'll find him Leonard, you'll see."

"I can only hope."

Their silence only lasts a little longer before an odd familiarity rings out in overpowering laughter, causing both Nyota and Leonard to jump and point their phasers at the source. Only the poor Doctor ends up dropping his cup of coffee in his haste. He'll never admit it, but his heart almost literally jumped out of his chest.

"Toq?" Leonard says, not with disdain or frightfulness, but utter disappointment as he holsters his weapon, "McCoy, what are you doing?" Uhura hisses at him when the Doctor approaches the sitting klingon.

"What's wrong with you?" Leonard demands, pulling out his tricorder.

Toq grins and offers a sigh, "Your people shot me."

"Doesn't surprise me much." McCoy grumbles, getting the phaser burns reading on his tricorder. Nothing vital has been hit, but definitely major if it doesn't get treated, Toq's lucky, could've been worse.

"The Captain was with them." Toq continues and immediately both Nyota and Leonard say, "What?" in complete unison, making the klingon General chuckle.

"When?" Leonard inquires, peeling away the klingon's hands to cover up the wound, "About two days ago."

"That's no use, we already know that. The team never made it off of the planet." Nyota growls in frustration, but Toq's face screws over in confusion, "Your Captain made it off of the planet. But considering the fact that I've seen several Federation officers searching for him, it appears that you do not have him."

"Obviously." Leonard sighs, finishing up the bandage before promptly cleaning his hands off with a rag, "What happened to the shuttle they left in?"

"Your Captain didn't leave in a shuttle." Toq graciously enlightens them, with a hint of a snicker in his voice.

"What do you mean? Didn't the Captain's team evacuate to their shuttle?" Uhura hits them with more questions; Leonard merely waves her off with a hand to silence her, "Toq, are you saying that the Captain was taken by someone else?"

"Doctor, I'm telling you that whoever took the Captain, didn't use a shuttle, they beamed him up."

Leonard shakes his head, "Impossible, the only ship capable of doing so would've been the Enterprise, nobody else was in orbit."

"I'm telling you Doctor, it looks like your Captain was kidnapped by that Hendorff guy." Toq insists with a careless shrug, "Wait, Hendorff did it?" Uhura gasps with surprise, "Well, he is the one who shot me and then proceeded to call for the beam up." Toq grumbles, eyes narrowing as he recalls the moment.

"Wait, lemme get this right. Lieutenant Hendorff purposefully took Jim, than called for the beam himself instead of taking the shuttle? It doesn't make any sense. He was supposed to meet up with us at the Enterprise." The Doctor exclaims, putting away his medical supplies slowly as he speaks.

"Leonard, what if Hendorff helped kidnap the Captain?" Nyota suggests.

The brunette sighs again, "With Jim's luck, anything's possible."

"C'mon, we gotta meet up with Spock." Leonard urges and starts to walk off, "Leonard, are you forgetting someone?" Nyota hints, gesturing over at the klingon.

"Well of course Dumbo is coming with us!" He replies carelessly and signals for them to follow as he pulls up his comm, "Spock, you're gonna wanna hear this." Leonard says with grin, taking a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure the two are trudging along.

"Doctor, I believe last time you said that you made a very offensive vulcan joke, that of which I remind you, I did not appreciate." Spock responds sternly through the comm with only a bit of static and maybe a bit of provocation as well.

Leonard mentally face-palms, "No-no-no-no, it's not about that-and for the millionth time I said sorry!-anyhow this is about Jim!"

"What information have you acquired Doctor?"

"Just meet us back at the rendezvous, its big Spock."

Leonard can almost hear the vulcan sigh, "Very well Doctor, and I as well have something to share."

"Alright, meet you at the rendezvous. McCoy out."

Their trek back is a swift one and filled with silence. General Toq might just hold the key to finding Jim. How ironically sadistic this all is, if Toq had died at any given point of time, none of this shit would be happening. If Jim had killed him while he was aboard the Enterprise, all of this, the 'chase Kodos' wouldn't be happening. Then that means no goddamn planet, no torture, no rescue, no black op mission, and no missing Jim. Things would be how they're supposed to be, with him and Spock at Jim's shoulder, facing the black.

"Doctor McCoy-"

"Yeah Spock, its General Toq. Now hurry up, we gotta get back to the Enterprise." Leonard cuts in before Spock can formulate a sentence.

"Doctor, we found the shuttle Hendorff's team was supposed to leave in." Spock informs him and Leonard pauses briefly, "I think I know why. I'll explain once we get back."

The vulcan purely nods his head and summons the search party to gather and without further delay, orders the beam up back to the ship. Scotty obliges and gets them all aboard in one piece, though Leonard still likes to differ. He can literally feel his insides shift as his molecules are assembled back together into a whole piece.

"Is that the General?" Scotty scoffs in surprise as he sees who exactly steps off the platform.

Leonard nods and guides the klingon away with the rest of the party trailing behind him, "Doctor, what exactly do you think we can accomplish with the General?" Spock inquires, hands placing behind his back.

Toq just grins, he likes being the center of attention, whether he likes to admit it or not.

"He's gonna help us find Jim." McCoy declares sternly and takes a quick glance around at the people following him, "You guys can't come, I just need Spock. This is some…well it's uhh…" He trails off, finding the words as Nyota glares straight through his soul, though he's pretty sure there's not much left.

"The information about to be disclosed is classified and when it is possible or necessary, either the Doctor or myself will inform the Bridge crew. Otherwise, until further notice, you are dismissed." Spock explains for him, the two ensigns take the orders and leave but Uhura stands before them infuriated.

"You can't do this to me. Not after all of this. I've been kept in the dark this whole time. It isn't fair." She fumes, arms crossing over her chest in anger.

Leonard sighs and lets Spock handle it.

"Lieutenant Uhura, as much as I wish to inform you, I cannot. You are not the only one that wishes to know this information, Lieutenant Sulu and Chekov are just as ambitious as you, but yet they have restrained themselves from compromising what is happening here." Spock argues, not backing down.

The Communications Officer scowls, but says no more as she turns away, ponytail swishing as she stalks away. The Doctor whistles, "Well you've just managed to piss off the only person that you wouldn't want to piss off in this metal tin can." He comments as Spock simply starts walking once more.

Leonard huffs and grasps Toq's arm and begins to lead him away to the closest prison cell. Both the Doctor and acting Captain know that at any point General Toq can just break away, maybe even kill one of them, but they seem to know him so well. General Toq is complex, his mind runs at almost the same speed as Jim's when it comes to planning and calculating risks and outcomes. But his goal is so simple; it went from earning the Du'Ralle, to just trying to get home. Toq can't get home without Jim Kirk, the one person that he had come to get and had dragged him into this mess. Ironic once more.

Spock gets them into the cell, ordering two guards to stand guard outside the door as they seat themselves at the table, though Leonard finds himself pacing the floor as General Toq starts spilling the beans and the 'interrogation' begins.

"So you wish to know what has become of your Captain?" Toq almost chuckles, receiving a glare from the pacing Doctor and a soulless gaze from the vulcan in front of him.

"Indeed." Spock confirms, hands resting neatly folded on the table.

The klingon sighs, "Very well, how far back do you wish me to take you?"

"Just tell Spock what you told me."

Toq nods slowly, taking a few breaths to recollect the memories, sifting through the information stored within his mind, "A few days ago, around two or so, I saw Hendorff's team taking Kirk away. They managed to get away from the natives; I believe most of them followed your group. I came closer to the group but one of them saw me and before I could do anything Hendorff shot me and he called for a beam up and they all disappeared with your Captain."

"Hendorff asked for the beam up." Leonard mutters, stopping in mid stride to scratch at the growing hairs on his chin, "Yes, he spoke a code or password of some sort before they beamed away." Toq verifies while Spock remains silent, taking in the knowledge.

"Well, anything else? Do you know where they went? Who they were talking to? Do you know anything?" McCoy snaps and goes back to treading a pathway within the width of the room.

The klingon snarls, "No, I don't know. Maybe you should've kept better track of your beloved Captain!"

"I did! Goddamn it, I did! I've been taking care of him the moment he stepped into my goddamn life so don't you dare accuse me of not caring! You bastard klingon, maybe if you had some dignity you would've stayed on your side of space and not ended up here with the rest of us idiots!" Leonard yells, pointing an condemning finger at Toq, but instead of the klingon shriveling away in fear of his unraveling rage, the General laughs heartily and shakes his head at the Doctor.

It takes a moment for things to cool down, Spock still sitting quietly, "Doctor, scream all you want but that isn't going to get you your Captain back."

"Then, General, what will?" Spock inserts himself, leaning forward slightly to further engage himself into the conversation.

Toq's yellow eyes narrow down at him, "Go talk to Admiral Ward, go see how he's doing."

Spock's head tilts in confusion, "Now why would I do that General?"

The klingon smiles, making Leonard's stomach churn, "Because Mister Spock, both he and Admiral Marcus work for the same organization, but since Marcus is dead, that only leaves Ward."

"Section 31." Leonard breathes, leaning against the table and gripping the edges until his knuckles turn white with pressure, "Damn it." He hisses and takes a few steps away, shaking his head in frustration as he does so.

Will it ever be simple when it comes to Jim?

"What would Section 31 want with the Captain?" Spock asks, taking a swift glance between the klingon and the human.

"Why should I know?" Toq huffs incredulously and leans back in his chair, stretching his arms, "Revenge. Maybe they're still a bit sore from what happened with Khan." Leonard suggests, flailing his arms around in expression.

"I still fail to see how kidnapping the Captain will achieve any sort of justification of the events that had transpired that day." Spock informs them slowly.

"Spock, we're human, we do stupid things. And I get you, they at least have to have some sort of legitimate reason for taking him, or the Federation would be all over their asses and they would be exposed."

"Perhaps the reason why Admiral Ward ended up in jail?" Spock says an eyebrow raising, "Or maybe they're mad because he went against authorization down onto the planet in the first place." Toq butts in, "Maybe they're still pissed about him wrecking the Enterprise again on Superstes." Leonard says to no one in particular.

"I believe, that Jim Kirk has been taken for all those reasons and many more. Overall, a dazzling reputation he may have, but there are many gray areas on his resume that aren't even given to the Federation." Spock tells them, rising from his seat.

"Like what?" Leonard asks, assuming that Tarsus IV isn't what the vulcan is talking about.

Spock looks his way, "Jim Kirk is many things, and unfortunately 'liar' is one of those things."

"What do you mean Spock?"

"I mean, Doctor, that the Captain hadn't told the complete story back on earth, nor has he ever given the Federation the complete truth when it comes to many of his reports. He is not only wanted by Section 31 because he has put them to shame, caught Admiral Ward and discovered Admiral Marcus, he's wanted because he has a habit of telling half-truths, and I believe that is what they are after."

"They've gone a bit extreme just to get the truth." Leonard growls, crossing his arms.

The vulcan's eyebrow goes up, "As you said Doctor, they're human and humans do stupid things."

"Okay, don't push it Spock. Let's just say they have a grudge against Jim and they are willing to use any leverage possible to justify their actions." McCoy replies with a sigh and follows Spock to the door.

"Where are you going?" Toq calls from behind causing both Leonard and Spock to turn and look at him, "To get our Captain back." Leonard announces triumphantly and strolls out with Spock tailing him.

The guard then shuts door, sealing the General away.

Leonard takes determined strides forward, Spock matching his pace, "How long until we reach earth?"

That week feels like the longest week of McCoy's life. Returning to his regular duties to attend the needs of Sickbay isn't the same without Jim snooping around the corner, his grin lighting up the room. It's oddly quiet and the feeling settles heavily within the Doctor's stomach, so much so he finds it hard to even eat. Spock calls it depression, but he just says its 'Jim-withdrawals'.

Not many accidents happen on the way home, just more and more people asking for anti-depressant pills and requesting psychological therapy, some are signed up without consent and just get a notification that it has been required that they attend one.

Personally, Leonard can never imagine going to one, but he has heard great things. Better than those damn pills.

McCoy's making his way to his quarters, after a long boring Gamma Shift that only had one restless Engineer request for a sleeping pill, when he hears the announcement that they will be landing in two hours. Great, they'll be back on earth, then he and Spock can finally set up that damn meeting with Admiral Ward. Just the thought makes his stomach tighten in knots.

He sighs, entering his code quickly and shutting the door behind himself. He lets the aroma of unwashed clothes and empty beer bottles calm his nerves. It reminds him of Jim. Leonard can't say that's a good thing, but it's not necessarily a bad one.

The Doctor strips himself of his clothes and changes into a new pair of briefs, not bothering with a shower since he'll be out of here in less than three hours, considering they're landing in two, it'll take him at least an hour to pack. He dives into his bed, welcoming the softness beneath his weary body. Tugging on the blankets, he manages to get comfortable, yet his mind doesn't seem to want to shut down.

All he can think about is Jim's pitiful cries for help. Maybe if he had just stayed with Jim, none of this would be happening. He could've saved Jim.

The blond's room stays empty. Spock, as acting Captain does get the rights to the quarters, but the sentimental vulcan hasn't even dared to touch the entry code, nor has any of the crew. They have that much respect at least.

McCoy snorts and rolls over, eyes fluttering shut as gradually his mind eases, the pain washing away in the depths of his imagination. Sleep overcomes his strong torrents of emotions and he succumbs to the bliss blackness that consumes him.

He awakes to the announcements of the 'off-loading'. Odd, considering that everyone was very attached to the Enterprise, now they were being ordered to pack up and leave. Of course hopefully this shore leave will only last a week or so, but without Jim Kirk on board, god only knows. The Federation will want to appoint a new Captain. Unless he has something to do about it.

Leonard drags himself from the comfort of his bed and throws on some clothes, quickly shoving things into bag before promptly slinging it over his shoulder in a satisfied grunt. Packing his ass, he handled that issue.

Packing was never his forte.

He scurries out of the room and to the Transporter Room, lugging all of his things on his back as he does so. By now, most of the medical and engineering staff has unloaded, giving Leonard a tingly feeling of kenopsia as he roams the empty halls.

When he enters the room, Scotty greets him with a weary grin, which reminds him, most of Jim's Bridge crew hasn't slept much since his disappearance, much less talked about it. Then he has to wonder, should he tell them what happened? Perhaps Uhura has already spread the word, though it is unlikely, she keeps her mouth shut when she's supposed to.

"Doctor," The Scotsman says dryly, watching as Leonard steps onto the platform with a long sigh, whistling through the still air, "She's awfully quiet." He murmurs, Scotty barely able to pick up his reply.

"Aye, she is laddie. She's a wee bit empty without her golden boy." Scotty tells him, glancing mournfully at the graying walls of the Enterprise.

Leonard can almost hear Jim's voice, ringing through the corridors, only to find it's the whirring of the transport beam, taking him away and planting him firmly on the surface of the earth. He's welcomed by Sulu and Chekov, who've been impatiently sitting upon the Federation bench. Chekov's red hair flames within the fluorescent lighting up above, with Sulu trying to summon up a smile as the Doctor approaches them with more than likely a scowl masked over his face.

"McCoy," Sulu says, getting to his feet hastily while prodding a dozing Russian awake, "Huh?" Pavel jerks alive, blinking rapidly to clear his blurred vision.

He gazes up, meeting Leonard's intense eyes, "Oh, Doctor." Chekov is the only one able to manage a genuine smile, despite the heavy bags underneath his usually exuberant eyes.

"Why are you guys waiting for me?" Leonard asks, adjusting the bag on his shoulder, "We got assigned the same room, so we decided to wait." Chekov explains and Sulu begins to steer them away.

"Yeah, we're staying in a hotel across the street." Hikaru informs them, brushing by a few passing Enterprise engineers before making it to the automatic doors of the Federation building.

"And where exactly are we?" McCoy says, letting the sudden bright light blind him briefly before he blinks several times to allow his eyes to cope.

"San Francisco, California." Chekov chirps excitedly, taking in the wonders of the city lights and buzzing roads.

"Great." Leonard mutters and follows them along to the road's edge to the pedestrian crossing.

Sulu nearly presses the damn crossing button a hundred times over before the walking signal lights up and they walk across, hurrying into a light jog when several shuttles stop to let them pass. Their trip is a quick one; Sulu checks them into the hotel and they ascend to the appropriate floor, level four, making it to their room with the use of the elevator.

Jim would never have used a goddamn elevator. Damn kid is paranoid.

Chekov is the last one into the room, his excitement gleaming through his tired eyes. Leonard almost growls aloud. How can the damn boy be so happy? Jim's gone, and here he is acting like a fat kid in a candy shop. Unbelievable.

"Fancy hotel room." The Doctor notes dryly, heaving his luggage to one side of the room.

Their room is pure white, making contrast with the vibrant blues of the bed sheets. A couch, two beds, a TV, one bathroom, and quite large window, allowing all sorts of streaming lights to flood into their claustrophobic space.

"It'll do for now." Sulu replies with a heavy sigh, claiming a bed for himself, leaving McCoy and Pavel to fight for the last bed.

"I'll sleep on the couch." Chekov announces and goes to place his belongings beside the cushiony leather couch, but Leonard stops him, "It's fine Chekov, you can have the bed. I'm probably going to be in and out of this place a lot."

Hikaru just nods in understanding, staying on earth with Leonard McCoy is never a picnic.

"Why?" Pavel wonders, jumping aimlessly onto the bed to welcome the soft sheets against his weary body.

Damn, they were all exhausted.

Leonard rubs his face, "It's complicated. I gotta talk to some people. It has somethin' to do with Jim."

Sulu tunes in at the mention of their beloved Captain. The Enterprise had been abnormally still without their boisterous Captain nagging at them all and lighting up their days with his smiles and witty remarks. Though they complain quite often of his snarky attitude and cocky bravado, they all love him, dearly so.

The senior Bridge crew isn't the same without Jim, nor will it ever be until they get him back, which is what McCoy plans to do.

"How?" Hikaru implores, freezing halfway through unpacking his bag.

"Like I said, it's complicated. I'll explain later once I get some more details." McCoy answers in his harsh southern drawl, making both Chekov and Sulu take a mental step back.

Whatever the southern Doctor has planned, it's not going to be good.

Leonard deposits his belongings onto the couch and double checks if he has his phaser, "Going somewhere?" Hikaru questions as he sees McCoy make for the door.

"Complicated!" He shouts and heads through, retreating from the hotel and beneath the musky skies of San Francisco.

He needs to find Spock. The damn hobgoblin better help him. First Spock, than Admiral Ward, though he'll probably have to go through Archer, since Admiral Pike died during the Khan Incident. He swears he can still see the glint of sadness in Jim's eyes whenever the man is mentioned, despite the blond's constant reassurances.

Using the crosswalk, he enters the Federation building, passing some chuckling medical officers who only give him a curt nod in greetings. He only grunts in response.

Leonard pulls out his communicator; because there's no way in hell he'll be able to find Spock in the mess of desk workers, business employers, and Enterprise crewmen, "McCoy to Spock." He says, waiting for the reply, which comes immediately, "Spock here, go ahead Doctor."

"We needa talk Spock." Doctor McCoy informs him rather bluntly, "Are we not talking now Doctor?"

"Damn it Spock, just meet me at the HQ."

"Very well Doctor, I'd suggest you turn around then." Spock tells him calmly, "What are you talking about?" Leonard asks, yet he turns around nonetheless, only to meet face-to-face with the vulcan himself.

Leonard jumps, "Oh god Spock, don't do that!" He hisses, putting away his communicator.

"My apologies Doctor, I did not mean to startle you."

McCoy sighs raggedly, "Of course you didn't."

"I assume your reasoning pertains to the Captain?" Spock concludes, hands folding behind his back. Leonard nods, "Yeah, we need to talk to Admiral Archer. Any chance he's somewhere around here?"

"High possibility, since the Admiral did oversee the transportation of the Enterprise crew." Spock replies, beginning to lead McCoy away and deeper into the white halls of the building.

Their mini trip doesn't take too long, well, until the receptionist tells them they have to wait until the Admiral gets out of his meeting. With sigh, Leonard sits down, Spock joining right beside him. Usually some sarcastic banter would arouse from the two, but without Jim, they both feel empty inside, though neither one will admit it.

The Doctor glances at the time, they've been waiting for an hour now, the poor receptionist keeps giving them quick glances, wondering how long they're willing to wait. But thankfully, it's only a few minutes longer until the door slides open and several officers pour out, wishing their goodbyes to the Admiral.

Immediately Spock and McCoy rise to their feet and to the door, not giving the receptionist an opportunity to stop them.

"Admiral, sir." McCoy greets right away, Spock remaining rather quiet from behind him.

"Oh I'm sorry sir-" The receptionist begins, but Archer raises a hand to silence her, "It's alright, they're some friends of mine."

She nods quickly and exits, closing the door behind herself, leaving the two men and a vulcan to discuss discretely.

Leonard takes a breath, realizing Spock isn't going to explain it and the Admiral is still waiting for an explanation, "Admiral, it's about Jim."

Archer's eyes widen as he sits back down, leaning back in his leather chair, light flooding in from behind, bringing some attention to all the knickknacks along his desk front.

"Alright, what do you got Doctor McCoy?" Archer huffs, hands kneading at the armrests while one foot taps impatiently against the floor, which only serves to agitate Leonard slightly.

The Doctor dares a look over to Spock, seeing the vulcan nod, telling him to proceed, but the glint of his eyes informs him to tread lightly. "Captain Kirk was taken by Section 31, sir," McCoy explains, arms crossing.

Admiral Archer glares at him, "No, we sent our best out there to get him. They all passed our screens. There's no way."

"Sorry sir, but it appears to be so."

"Alright, and how did you find this information?" Archer leans forward, resting his arms on top of the black surface of his table.

Leonard swallows, "General Toq."

"Oh you got to be kidding me! That lousy bastard?" He exclaims, hands throwing up in the air before settling back down when Spock steps up to speak his mind, "May I remind you Admiral, that General Toq in all of his accounts, has always told the truth in all interviews and investigations conducted. The reason why, is quite unknown to me, but I suspect it has something to do with honor."

Archer sighs, debating the words carefully, "Okay, alright. Let's say, he is telling the truth, and Captain Kirk did get taken by Section 31. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Take us to Admiral Ward." McCoy declares, making the Admiral shake his head, "You're planning on jumping head first aren't you?"

"Admiral, there is no time to test the waters when we have a Captain to save." Spock points out sternly, and Archer accepts it with a nod, "Okay, I can get you that. How about tomorrow? Admiral Ward is locked up in DC."

The pair nod, "That will be most sufficient." Spock replies respectively.

"I'll contact you in morning." Archer informs them, "Oh, and one more thing Doctor."

"Yes sir?" McCoy asks and watches as Archer pulls out a hoodie, "When you get him back, make sure you give him this."

"May I ask how you acquired this?" Spock says, head tilted in interest.

Leonard recognizes it as the sweatshirt Jim had given to Toq all those months ago, when they believed that Enterprise was going to be taken away from them.

"General Toq had it on him when he got arrested; I guess Kirk forgot to get it back."

The Doctor then takes it from the Admiral with an appreciative nod, "Now, I'll see both of you in the morning." Archer declares and then signals them out of his office.

Spock and Leonard say their goodbyes and make their way out, heading back for the entrance of the building. By now, the sky has darkened and the lights of the city illuminate their path forward into darkness.

Leonard holds onto the sweatshirt dearly and lets Spock take lead across the street, they part ways once the Doctor gets to his own floor, Spock's being just the next one up. He heads inside after swiping his card quickly and shutting the door.

Sulu's head pops up from the bed where he was supposedly sleeping, while Chekov remains still, dead as a rock in his own bed, "I was wondering when you'd come back."

The brunette nods his head slowly, dumping Jim's old academy hoodie on the floor and grabbing some clothes to change into out of his bag. There's not much to say to the Pilot, just a simple grunt before entering the bathroom. He changes rather hurriedly, finding no need or the motivation to take a shower despite the fact has hasn't taken one since god knows when.

When he comes out, Sulu has gone back to sleep, slumbering with soft snores emitting from his mouth. Leonard rolls his eyes and crawls onto the couch, falling asleep without even a blanket to cover himself with.

Leonard awakes to the sound of obnoxious ringing, causing all three people in the room to sit up and groan their complaints.

"What is that noise?" Pavel whines, collapsing back into bed after several rings, "It's my communicator damn it." McCoy growls and digs through his pants from yesterday to pull it out and flip it open, "McCoy."

"Doctor McCoy, Spock here, I am awaiting your arrival outside."

Leonard sighs and gets up, stretching his limbs, "Okay, give me five minutes."

Hurriedly he closes it and gets dressed, not minding the quickly obscured gazes from his comrades. He doesn't care anymore, he's gonna go get Jim damn it.

With everything on, he leaves the room, causing both Sulu and Chekov to go speechless and share a concerned look between them. Leonard doesn't spare anytime to say hello as he brushes passed a confused Uhura and an alcohol reeking Scotty at the stairs.

He sees Spock and all he offers is a nod to continue forward. Without Jim, it's like he's lost his tongue. Though that doesn't actually surprise him much. Jim has always brought out the best in him. He's not even sure if that thought was sarcastic or not.

Spock leads him forward, crossing the street hastily and making a quick entrance into the building. McCoy barely looks up from his feet as he trails behind the vulcan. Back in the day, he would never have showed such trust in his vulcan partner, but this isn't back in the day, this is now. Jim's life depends on him. He's gonna take all the help he can get, even if that means Spock guiding him through the thick mass of people crowded in the building during this god forsaken hour.

It doesn't take long for them to reach Archer's office, the receptionist just giving them the go ahead with a simple nod.

It seems nobody is in a talkative mood.

"Mister Spock, Doctor McCoy." Admiral Archer greets them as he rises from his chair, snatching up a jacket.

"Admiral." They both reply in unison.

Archer smiles, "Well gentlemen, I got us a ride to DC. Hopefully neither of you mind riding a shuttle for the next couple of hours."

McCoy's face falls into a frown. He hates flying.

The weary Doctor did not only just crash into a sour mood, but he throws up twice. Both times he barely manages to get it into the bag the flight attendant had handed him. Spock makes no comment, instead he starts light conversation with Admiral Archer, who tries to engage Leonard, but after several failed attempts he stops trying.

McCoy's rather grateful when Archer and Spock discuss the correlation between politics and the outward mood of the public opinion, for it allows him to become quiet and think about just what he's about to do.

He feels like he's about to open Pandora's box when he walks off of that shuttle with Spock and Archer right ahead of him. The voices go over his head as he sulks within his depressing silence. Leonard can't imagine a lifetime of this would be like. This is what it'd be like if he had never have met Jim that day.

His heart twists into a knot.

Leonard has to get the kid back. He can't live like this, trudging alone in his sorrows with alcohol to keep him company. No that can't happen, because Jim's supposed to be right beside him when he does it. He and Jim are supposed to get wasted, drink all of Scotty's scotch and steal some vodka from Chekov's locker. When the blond gets hurt, Leonard's there to pick him up, dust him off, and throw him back out there into the black.

It's just what they do.

"Doctor McCoy, are you alright?" Spock's voice shatters his thoughts and his head snaps up from the floor to meet the vulcan's emotionless gaze, "Yes, I'm fine. Are we here?"

"Almost Doctor." Spock confirms as Archer leads them through several security checks followed by a short walk through dark sketchy hallways until two guards signal them over.

Archer greets the guards and they're led further into the creepy passageways until they come to a stop right outside one of the cells. The first guard swipes his card and the door pops open, revealing the shady room before him.

Archer enters first and allows Spock and McCoy to take the chairs at the table and seated before them is the man that tried to kill their best friend.

"Admiral Ward." Spock titles him, sitting down neatly, hands folded.

Leonard characteristically huffs and collapses into the not so comfortable chair, staring intently into the man's face, searching for any signs of regrets. There's none.

"First Officer Spock, Doctor McCoy," Ward grins, his tone surprised by their presence, "What brings you guys here?"

The Doctor gestures at Spock to answer, "Unfortunately Captain Kirk was taken."

"Ahh, that is quite unfortunate. He was such a ray of sunshine." The Admiral sneers, the chains locking his hands together jingling slightly as he shifts in his chair.

Spock waits patiently for Ward to stop grumbling before continuing, "We have evidence to believe that Captain Kirk was kidnapped by Section 31."

Ward immediately stiffens at the mention of the organization and he shakes his head, "If you're planning on getting involved with them, just forget about it. Kirk's long gone by now."

"How can we reach them?" Spock inquires calmly.

He snorts, "Who knows? The last person to know would be Admiral Marcus, but it looks like poster boy killed him."

"How about Carol Marcus?" Leonard says suddenly, causing all eyes to fall upon him, "That might actually work, as long as you can find her." Archer tells them, arms crossing as he stands from behind.

"What would Section 31 want with Captain Kirk?" Spock asks, directing his focus back onto Ward, who is unphased by all the attention, "I don't know."

"Then start knowing pal." The Doctor growls, hands nervously wringing the hem of his shirt into a knot. "Well, there could be multiple reasons. One of which they're probably a little pissed at him. Kirk did manage to take me out and kill Admiral Marcus, along with putting Khan away."

Leonard nods knowingly, "Where would they take him?"

"That, I don't know. Section 31 is quite paranoid. After the Khan thing they probably switched things up, different location, new security, everything if they wanted to stay alive." Ward explains casually, sitting back within his chair.

"So our only way to find them is Carol Marcus?" McCoy hummpfs, rubbing his eyes wearily with a sigh, "It appears so Doctor." Spock agrees, rising from his chair.

"What makes you think Marcus will know where they are?" The Doctor asks as he gets up as well, giving a glance to Archer, "Well Doctor, Carol Marcus was quite close to her father, she might have over heard some plans possibly." The Admiral replies, gesturing them all to leave the room.

Spock makes a quick thank you before leaving the room and letting Archer take them away from the place, "So we came here for nothing? The damn bastard didn't know anything."

"Not entirely Doctor. Admiral Ward may know nothing useful in finding Section 31's current location, but now we do know someone who might." Spock informs him, hands clasped behind his back.

"First Officer Spock's right, at least we have a new lead."

Leonard sighs, itching at his beard, "How do we find her?"

"It'll be difficult. Carol Marcus dropped off the grid several months ago. But not too long before that she was getting into some deep research." Archer tells them, leading them outside the building and back through the security exams.

"What type of research do you refer to Admiral?" Spock alleges, head cocked to the side in curiosity, "I don't know. I called her during Jim's recovery after the Warp Core. She told me she was too busy doing research to come visit."

"Sounds to me she was trying to put Section 31 away." He mutters, entering their shuttle once more.

"That's what it seems like. But we can't be sure until we find her." Archer responds, buckling himself into the chair followed by McCoy and Spock.

"Then that brings us back to the question, how do we find her?"

"I believe gentlemen, I may have a way." Spock states firmly and McCoy rolls his eyes, "Am I gonna like it?"

"That depends Doctor; do you have an irrational fear of cameras?"

And boy does he have one. Spock's idea takes them to the White House, with Archer setting up a press meeting right outside the steps of the Capital. They're hoping to draw Carol Marcus out with this interview. Though in the pit of McCoy's stomach, he can feel it twisting, this isn't going to end pretty whatever they're about to dive head first into.

Spock stands stoically beside him, watching as Admiral Archer takes the podium, giving the mics a quick tap to test them. Instantly news reporters start shouting questions left and right, desperate for their question to get answered. Archer just raises a hand to silence the crowd.

Leonard can't help but smirk as all the people fall silent and wait for Archer to signal someone out to speak first.

"You there, in the red." Archer points out, "Admiral, is it true the Captain Kirk has been taken?"

"Yes, yes it's true."

"Admiral!"

"Yes?" Archer gestures for the woman to speak, "Rumors have broken out that the klingons have kidnapped Captain Kirk, is it true?"

The Admiral shakes his head, "We have no reason-or evidence to believe that Captain Kirk was taken by klingons."

"Then who has taken the Captain?" Someone cries out and more voices of accord rise up amongst them, "We're not entirely sure yet, but we believe it has something to do with Admiral Marcus' death."

Bingo, Admiral Marcus. Hopefully that'll draw out Carol, but they can't be sure. Leonard just gives Spock a look and returns his gaze back to Archer who's already answering the next question.

"I myself and the Federation make no comment on the matter."

"Excuse me, sir!"

Archer tries his best not to sigh, "Yes?"

"Doctor McCoy, when's the last time you saw Captain Kirk?"

Leonard immediately stiffens, "Doctor McCoy won't be answering any questions today." Archer interjects sternly, leaving no room for argument.

"Is it true that Captain Kirk had gone AWOL before his kidnapping?"

"Captain Kirk was acting on Federation orders."

"What does this have to do with Admiral Marcus?" A man shouts from the crowd, "Captain Kirk made a few enemies in the Federation and we have reason to believe that some of Admiral Marcus' partners may have something to do with his disappearance."

More shouts and questions rise up, but Admiral Archer shakes his head, "There will be no more questions, thank you."

Archer then walks over and guides Spock and McCoy away, along with the security team tailing them all the way to the shuttle. Once inside they all settle down, getting buckled, but Leonard can still hear the question ringing in his ears.

Had he really left Jim to cry that night? The last time he saw him was when Hendorff's team dragged his limp form away. He can still remember the golden hairs somehow still glistening within the rays of sunshine. Was that really the last time he saw him? Unconscious, broken, and dying? Some friend he's been.

"Doctor, are you alright?" Spock prods gently, "Yes, fine Spock." Leonard nearly growls back.

"Admiral, Captain Kirk was not acting on Federation orders." Spock says, with a hint of a question in his tone, clearly baffled by the incredulous statement.

"I said what I needed to. The media are like sharks, they'll tear you apart if you give them a chance. I don't want that happening to Kirk, he's a good kid." Archer sighs heavily, adjusting himself in his seat as the shuttle starts up and begins its long trip back to California.

"How long do you think it'll take to get a hold of Carol?" Leonard implores, daring a glance over at the vulcan.

"That Doctor, I do not know."

"Hopefully though that interview did the trick." Archer comments from his side of the shuttle. McCoy blows a whistle, "That was just about the shortest interview I've ever seen."

Archer smiles at him, "I like to keep things short and sweet, plus I couldn't give much more without exposing them."

Leonard just nods, the craft falling silent.

Their trip back is a blur; Leonard falls asleep halfway through, welcoming the darkness that fogs over his mind. It's better than the alternative. When he awakes, it's to Spock softly shaking his shoulder, stirring him from his dreams.

"We're here Doctor." Spock states simply, helping him to his feet.

"Thank you Admiral Archer, we will inform you of any news." The vulcan continues, "And I to you as well." Archer replies and they part ways.

McCoy and Spock then make their way off of the shuttle, stepping onto the HQ's 'parking lot'. They walk onto the sidewalk and head to the front of the building and back to the hotel, for the night sky has climbed up and the city lights now illuminate their path.

"Do not worry Doctor, we will find him." Spock comforts him suddenly, causing the Doctor to pause in mid stride, staring skeptically at the vulcan in the middle of the crosswalk, "How can you say that Spock? Where's the damn logic behind it?" Leonard accuses him harshly, but he barely manages to keep his voice from cracking from all the built up stress and desperation.

Spock gestures for him to continue walking but McCoy holds his ground, blocking the absent traffic, thank god for that. "Doctor, not all things have to be backed by logic."

Leonard's face contorts sharply into a pained expression, "Yes they do Spock. That's how it works! You of all people should know that!" He snaps, surprising himself at how angry he sounds.

The vulcan remains silent for a heartbeat, gaze darting away until settling back into the warmth of Leonard's eyes, seeing the heavy bags beneath them, "Leonard, when it comes to Jim, all logic melts away. It's as if the laws of this universe do not apply to him." Spock nearly whispers into the night air, San Francisco lights twinkling above.

"Spock, that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard you say." Leonard half laughs half sobs out, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, only serving to leave streaks of wetness on his cheeks.

"Doctor, I believe it is time for you to rest." Spock almost smiles as he walks back to stand beside Leonard, placing a hand on the small of his back and carefully guiding him inside.

"Do you wish to spend the night in my room perhaps?" Spock offers kindly, but Leonard shakes his head, "No, I'll be fine Spock…sorry about that, I…" He sniffles, wiping away the tears fiercely with a sleeve, "Do not apologize Doctor, it is understandable in these circumstances. I myself if I were not half vulcan would have been emotionally compromised as well."

Leonard nods and they part ways. He appreciates the tranquility that reigns over him as he enters his room. Too exhausted to change, the Doctor crashes into the couch cushions and succumbs to sleep shortly after.

But his night is short-lived, plagued with nightmares, causing him to toss and turn. The next morning, filled with hope, he's disappointed when at the end of the day, there's no news of Carol Marcus. The damn girl better say something soon, Jim's life depends on it.

Now starting their fourth morning, the Bridge crew meets up at the hotel bar in the downstairs basement. By the time Leonard gets up and goes down, the crew is already there, chatting away incessantly. They wish him good morning sweetly, but he only grunts back as he orders his first drink.

Once the bartender hands it to him, he plops down beside Scotty, "Ahh, hey there laddie, how are ya holding up?" Montgomery asks, patting him on the shoulder.

McCoy sighs and blinks several times after a good sip, "I'm still alive." He replies with a not so humorous chuckle, "Aye, I know. It's tough not having the kid around." The Scotsman says, looking off distantly before returning the Doctor's gaze, "Though, I'm certain we'll get him back. We always do."

The brunette nods slowly, staring over at Uhura who's talking away with Spock, glint of tears in her eyes. But Spock graces her cheek with a soft hand and murmurs something to her gently and she smiles and pecks a kiss on his cheekbone.

Beside the two, Chekov's already finished his second round of vodka and is trying to get his third, but Sulu has him by the belt of his pants and is steadily dragging him away from the bar. Leonard can't help but snicker at the pair and Scotty joins in on his quiet laugh.

"He's always taking care of us isn't he?" Scotty articulates before taking another gulp of his drink, "That he is." Leonard confirms, not even bothering on asking on who Scotty's referring to.

It's obviously the Captain.

"How much longer do you think?"

Leonard shifts his gaze from the wailing Russian to the Scottish man beside him, "We're waiting on Carol Marcus."

"What does she have to do with this?" Scotty exclaims, "Jim's life depends on her."

Montgomery hums in thought, "Is that what the interview was about two days ago? I saw it on TV and all over the news."

McCoy nods, "Admiral Archer was trying to draw her out, guess she dropped off the grid not too long ago. Going after Section 31 or something."

"Are they the bastards that took the Captain?" Scotty growls.

"I'm afraid so Scotty."

"Do they know?"

Leonard's gaze goes back out to follow the Scotsman's to Sulu and Chekov. Sulu has managed to get the young navigator into a chair and is now trying to cheer him up with a game of 'how many butterballs can you eat?' While Uhura and Spock have disappeared altogether.

"Not yet. But they will, soon."

Now it's Scotty's turn to nod, eyes drifting towards the drink firmly clasped in the Doctor's trembling grasp, "We're goin get him." Scotty reassures, "Will it be soon enough?" Leonard whispers, turning his gaze onto the Scotsman's eyes, searching for an answer.

Scotty's lips part to reply, but Uhura bursts into the room, "Len! I think we got something."

"What is it?" McCoy asks as he hops to his feet along with Scotty.

"It's Marcus; she's talking with Spock right now." Nyota informs them all cheerfully, but Sulu and Chekov glance about, clearly confused, "What's going on?" The Pilot implores and Chekov murmurs his agreement on the matter.

"We don't have time. Uhura, where's Spock?"

"They're upstairs." She tells them all, "What do you mean 'they'?" McCoy exclaims, brows furrowing together, "Carol came in person."

"Aye, this must be serious then." Scotty chirps and they all nod in accord.

"Please, can someone tell us what's going on?" Chekov complains and Uhura, Scotty, and McCoy all exchange a look, "Don't worry, I'll tell em now. You laddies go ahead." The Scotsman signals them away.

"Thanks Scotty." Uhura and McCoy say in unison and dash off, leaving Montgomery to explain things to Sulu and Chekov.

They make it up the stairs swiftly and barge into Spock's room without hesitation. There before them is Carol Marcus and Spock. Carol's hair has grown quite long, only a few inches shorter than Uhura's and her stature has become thicker. She's stronger now.

"Uhura, McCoy." Carol greets with a friendly smile.

"Cut to the chase. Where's Jim?" Leonard urges, stepping forward to bring the focus onto him, the blond nearly stutters, "It's not that simple Doctor."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because Doctor, I am very close to shutting down Section 31 altogether…but I need your help." Carol admits, searching pleadingly into his eyes, "Doctor, Miss Marcus is correct. And if we are capable of stopping them, we could theoretically get the Captain back." Spock adjourns, taking a step forward to obstruct the intensity between Marcus and McCoy.

"And how are we supposed to stop them Spock?" McCoy snaps, crossing his arms.

Uhura rolls her eyes, "Len, I think you need to calm down. Let Marcus explain herself."

The Doctor just growls, "Fine."

Carol sighs and all eyes draw to her, waiting for her side of the story, "After my father died, I vowed to stop Section 31, they were the ones behind Khan and before that they helped Admiral Ward and General Toq. My father headed most of its ambitions, that's why they're so against Captain Kirk. They may be a black operation, but they do leave a trail, that's why I went off grid several months ago. I was sanctioned by one of the Admirals."

"To what trail do you refer to?" Spock inquires quizzically, "Lieutenant Hendorff." Carol replies.

"He's the bastard that took Jim!" McCoy interrupts and Carol just nods solemnly, "I've been tracking him for some time."

Spock adjusts his hands behind his back, "How does Lieutenant Hendorff lead us to Section 31?"

Carol glances over at him, "Hendorff works within Federation ranks, he has way of communicating with Section 31."

"How?" Uhura breaks in, her own curiosity peaking in her voice.

"He calls someone-I don't know who but I have the number." Carol justifies herself. McCoy just nods slowly, "Okay, we have a connection, but how exactly are we supposed to stop them?"

"I have some recorded messages between Hendorff and his employer. We also have Admiral Ward for a resource; he'll probably be able to recognize the voice on the other end of the line." Carol cuts in, taking a glance over at the vulcan.

"Why don't you play it now, perhaps we'll be able to recognize it." Spock suggests and they all nod, now looking over to Carol. "Alright, here let me pull it up." She mutters and digs out the files on her PADD, "Here, do you recognize this?" Carol asks as she hits the play button:

 _"Well done Lieutenant Hendorff, be prepared at o'six hundred hours to receive your new orders."_

"Wait, I know that voice…play it again." McCoy demands, shuffling closer to Carol to hear it better as she replays it, staring at the Doctor's face as the owner of the voice dawns on him, "That's Officer Huss!"

"I concur Doctor; I as well believe it to be him."

"What does this mean for us? We know Section 31 exists and that Huss and Hendorff work with them, but what does that mean for Jim, how do we get him back?" Uhura asks, swiftly wiping some tears that were threatening to spill. "If there's one thing Section 31 can't afford, it's being discovered." Carol declares.

McCoy just nods, "They've been trying to cover up their tracks. We all know how quickly they disowned Admiral Ward and Marcus when they got discovered."

"Do you think that's why they took the Captain? A loose end that needs tying possibly?" Nyota proposes.

"I believe that to be true Uhura." Spock replies and shifts his attention to McCoy, "Doctor, if we proceed in the way we're heading, this could end disastrous and not just for us."

"I know Spock, that's why we gotta keep this under wraps. None of this information leaves this room. We gotta take this to the court." Leonard states boldly and everyone agrees with a nod.

"So an unofficial meeting with a Federation a judge and jury? Joy." Carol mutters with the roll of her eyes, though she's glad that she's helping the Enterprise crew.

"Alright, let's get started then." McCoy announces, a devilish smirk creeping up on his lips. Then within that moment, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov march into the room, "What'd we miss?"

April 25th was the day Jim was kidnapped. Taken away from his ship, his crew, his friends. Taken away from Leonard. April 25th, little did Leonard know it'd take him eight months to get Jim back.

The first month is spent getting the session started, and by the looks of it, it's already turning ugly. It takes three weeks just to get everyone in the same room and ready for the hearings, though convincing them to sanction mission to get Jim Kirk back is an entirely different thing. The first day begins with Leonard McCoy explaining the importance of them meeting that day and also why word of that meeting can't get out. The second day, Spock comes out, bringing in General Toq, who has been in the Enterprise's custody, and Admiral Archer delivers Admiral Ward to their doorstep.

Each testimony impacts the court council. Admiral Ward tells them of his dealings with Section 31 and how they gave him the plans to set up Jim Kirk's destruction by using General Toq. He also enlightens them of his orders to have Kirk assassinated. Afterwards, they bring up General Toq, who in turn, explains his point of view on the Toq Incident, describing his experience in dealing with the black operation. Carol Marcus also comes and plays the tapes she had gotten, ultimately proving the existence of Section 31. Some of those recordings were conversations discussing plots to trap Jim, though they were all indirect, but it was obvious who they were referring to.

Without further questions, the council sends them away so they can discuss privately, leaving McCoy to pace back and forth outside of their room.

"Doctor, pacing will not make them come to a conclusion faster." Spock tells him curtly from where he sits upon the couch.

McCoy doesn't even spare him a sliver of a glance, "But it does help me think."

"Doctor, you've been incessantly pacing for the past hour, and you still have not come up with anything. So I find your argument illogical."

"Mister Spock, Doctor McCoy." Admiral Archer addresses them appropriately as he steps from the darkened room and into the waiting section.

McCoy stops pacing and Spock gathers to his feet.

"I got some good news and some bad news…good news; the council agrees that action needs to be taken to get Captain Kirk back. Bad news, they want to make a deal with Section 31 instead of barging in guns blazing."

Leonard rolls his eyes mockingly, "Section 31 will never agree to that!"

"Section 31 doesn't even acknowledge their own existence; they ignore all attempts of reaching out to them." The Admiral sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, "Though what was the tape Carol Marcus played?"

"It was a conversation that transpired between Officer Huss and Lieutenant Hendorff." Spock responds.

"If you can get to Lieutenant Hendorff, you could possibly find Section 31's base. From there the council will be able to help out."

McCoy ponders Archer's statement, but he then slowly shakes his head, "If we go out and find Hendorff, we need the Federation to turn a blind eye. If the Federation gets involved they could make it messier than it already is, and also it'll spook any of 31's members that are in Starfleet ranks. We can't have that."

"You're right. Though, it'll be hard to find Hendorff, technically, he's supposed to be dead. I'll get the council together and I'll see if we got anything on him. But from now on, you guys are on your own." Archer informs them.

Spock dips his head respectively, "Thank you Admiral, your help is much appreciated."

"Anything for Jim."

Admiral Archer then vanishes back inside the room, door sliding shut behind him. Thus leaving the vulcan and human to dare a glance at each other. "Any ideas where Hendorff might be?" Leonard sighs as they begin to leave the room, "None in the slightest Doctor."

Two months pass until the group, including Spock, McCoy, Marcus, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov and Uhura manage to track down Hendorff using his communicator ID to find an exact location. Though, the drunken, depressed, desperate and overly emotional man, Leonard McCoy, is the first one to arrive at the scene.

He's at the outer edge of New York City. The bustling has died down and the sky is black with night. McCoy wears his civilian clothes tightly over his body, though by now it's mid July, his body shivers. He's certain he's been drunk for the past week, causing him to pick up a slight fever, which now makes him feel cold, twenty-four seven.

It's great.

Leonard managed to get ahead of everyone else in the race to find Hendorff, meeting Admiral Archer alone instead of getting Spock to receive the new information. So, in return, here he is, strolling down the alleyway to Hendorff's apartment, a phaser tight in hand.

Even though he plans on taking Hendorff in, he's not quite sure if he wants the man alive. He did in fact take away Jim, and there's no way in hell Hendorff's will actually be willing to aid them in finding Section 31. There's no way, at least in Leonard's drunken mind that is.

When he makes it into the apartment, he scales the stairs, checking his PADD to make sure he's about to head into the right room before breaking down the door. He doesn't even bother being quiet as he barges in, phaser raised.

Leonard drops the PADD and closes the door, keeping the lights off as he approaches the bedroom, though Hendorff has different plans. Immediately the Lieutenant had gotten out of bed and snatched his phaser. Though Leonard, instead of actually going inside, awaits patiently around the corner for Hendorff to peak his head out, and when he does he sends the handle of the gun to the back of the Lieutenant's head.

Hendorff drops the phaser and goes down with a cry, blood spilling from his new head injury.

"Get up!" Leonard growls, kicking the phaser underneath a table, making sure it's out of reach.

The man before him groans but does as he's told, gathering to his feet, hands raised in defeat. McCoy nods approvingly, "Good, now sit down bitch." He growls, sliding a chair out from the table.

Hendorff glares at him briefly, but by the way the phaser aims directly at his head makes him sit down without further hesitation.

"Doctor McCoy, is that you?" Hendorff exclaims as his eyes narrow up at him, "How did you find me?"

"That doesn't matter!" Leonard yells, landing a blow on Hendorff's face, causing the man's nose to crack and bleed out through his nostrils.

A shaky breath escapes him as he stares at Hendorff. Isn't he a Doctor? Isn't he supposed to do no harm? Yet here he is. Leonard shakes his head as the argument arises inside his own mind. Hendorff deserves to die. He took away Jim.

Arms quivering, Leonard sets the phaser to kill and points it at Hendorff, staring unblinking into the man's eyes.

"Woah-woah Doc, slow down there!" Hendorff nearly shrieks as he hears the familiar hum of the phaser set to kill. "Why did you do it?" McCoy asks, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

Hendorff shakes his head, "I-I don't know what you're talking about…"

Leonard lunges forward, snatching the man's brown hair, pushing the barrel of the gun into the side of his head with uncontrollable rage, "Why'd you take Jim!" He shouts into Hendorff's ear, "Okay! Okay, just please, let go of me."

The drunken Doctor only hesitates momentarily before releasing a hiss and letting go, taking a couple steps away, but keeping his phaser trained on Hendorff.

"It was orders okay. I got the orders from my commanding officer…"

Leonard rolls his eyes, "Explain in detail what happened or I start breaking things-and I'm not talking about the apartment."

Hendorff nods anxiously and Leonard lowers the gun, "The man I work for, somehow he knew about Kirk's need for an evac off of the planet. He sent me orders to get on the op team. He told me to get Kirk in my possession and he'll have a ship ready to beam us off the planet once ready."

"How did he know?" McCoy demands. "I don't know, I just got the orders, nothing more."

The Doctors sighs, quite agitated, "What's your employers name?" But Hendorff shakes his head, "I can't tell you, they'll have me killed."

Leonard nods knowingly, doesn't matter much since he already knows its Huss, "I understand-I understand. Nobody wants to die…but answer me this, why do you need Jim?" He growls, kicking the chair out from underneath Hendorff and landing a kick into the man's side.

"I don't know okay! I don't!" Hendorff cries out, keeping his hands up, showing his surrender.

"Then you're useless to me!"

Leonard repositions the gun at Hendorff's head and prepares to shoot when several people burst through the door, "Leonard don't shoot!" Uhura yells at him, instantly pointing her own phaser at the Doctor, with Sulu and Chekov standing behind her, both clearly stunned.

"He killed Jim!" Leonard argues, not breaking his gaze on Hendorff.

"Jim's alive Doctor McCoy! He's alive, and that man can help us save him!" Chekov points out, following Nyota as she takes a daring step towards the drunken Doctor.

"He might as well be dead! We're never going to find him…" Leonard's voice cracks, revealing the vulnerable broken side of him, though his phaser stays trained on Hendorff who takes nervous side glances over at Uhura.

"Leonard, please. Put the phaser down, let's talk about this." Uhura begs, still coming closer, "Stay where you are Nyota!" McCoy roars and all three of them freeze, "Leonard, be sensible. We need Hendorff alive so we can get Jim back." Sulu pleads.

"Do you think he's still alive?" Leonard whispers, finally gazing over at his companions, his friends, "We really do." Pavel replies gently.

"I'm sorry guys…" Leonard begins to sob, dropping the gun and crumbling to the ground.

Nyota is the first one to embrace him, while Sulu and Chekov keep their attention pinned on Hendorff. "It's alright Leonard, we'll find him. I promise."

It takes a few moments for Leonard to gain his bearings and stop sniffling, "How'd you find me?" He asks as he finally gathers to his feet. Nyota bends over and scoops up his PADD, "Admiral Archer told us. We were going to use the PADD, but Jim likes to kill the tracker in these."

He nods slowly, "Now what?" Leonard says, casting a glance over at Hendorff as he's secured by Chekov and Sulu. "Now, we find Section 31." Uhura replies rather confidently.

With new strength and determination, the gang heads into August with high hopes of getting their Captain back. Though, they run into some slight complications. Hendorff wants a deal of his own. Currently he's being held on the Enterprise, along with General Toq. Though, before he reveals the location of Section 31, Hendorff has requested full immunity, but that's not theirs to give.

Spock, Uhura, and Scotty have gone down to San Francisco to get things sorted out, while Chekov, Carol, Sulu and McCoy await for the others' return, There's not much to do aboard an empty Enterprise, besides pace back and forth on the Bridge.

Carol has fallen asleep at Spock's station, Sulu is mindlessly scrolling through navigations reports off of Chekov's station, while the little Russian himself stands by himself staring at the viewing screen, and McCoy continues his pacing. Oh how much McCoy would just rather ring Hendorff's neck and force the information out of him. It'd be so much easier, instead of waiting for the Federation council to actually make a decision. Apparently granting immunity to someone is a big deal. Apparently.

"How much longer?" Chekov whines as he turns his gaze back to his companions, though he only earns harsh glares from both Sulu and McCoy. "Spock, Scotty and Uhura are just now bringing up the idea of immunity. It can takes weeks for the council to process the decision." Sulu explains, not glancing up from the screen before him.

"So damn slow." Leonard grumbles, finally halting his irritating pacing to slump into the captain's chair.

Sulu and Chekov exchange a surprised look, usually McCoy would never dare touching Jim's beloved chair, but then again the Doctor also would never have threatened to murder a man in cold blood. A lot of things have changed and not always for the better.

Leonard hums a sigh as he strokes the armrests before promptly rising from the chair, slightly disgusted at himself for even sitting on it. Its Jim's chair, he should never have sat in it. He should at least have that much respect for the man.

The Doctor turns his gaze out to the stars. Exactly how long is this going to take?

It takes five weeks for the council to process the information. Most of the argument comes between two Admirals, one of which wants to grant immunity and the other believing strongly the man should be trialed for treason. Though after those long weeks of debates, immunity comes out on top, by now the Enterprise crew has done nothing through September, but the early days of October look promising enough.

With Admiral Archer providing them with a shuttle, and boy do they have to hand it to the guy without him they'd be lost, the Enterprise crew, with one Carol Marcus and one Lieutenant Hendorff, fly their way across America.

Spock and Hendorff are at the front, Hendorff giving directions. Sulu and Chekov have slumped over in exhaustion, Chekov fighting to stay awake while Sulu has already given in, his head resting against the Russian's shoulder as he snores away. Carol has been scrolling through the news on her PADD for the past hour and Uhura has been making subtle comments on the matters beside her. Scotty remains uncharacteristically silent as he pops back a bottle of scotch slowly in the corner of the shuttlecraft. McCoy himself can't look much better, staring off into the floor, completely dead inside as he zones out.

Its hours later, the trip taking up the whole day, before they get off the shuttle, welcoming the fresh air of New Jersey. And why New Jersey, Leonard will never know. Hendorff leads them away, walking down the familiar streets.

"So how are we supposed to find Section 31?" Chekov inquires, stretching a slight yawn as he does so, Hendorff frowns, "We don't find them, they find us."

"Is that supposed to scare us?" McCoy grumbles, arms crossed over his chest as he walks after them. "No," Hendorff replies gruffly, "Lieutenant, do you know the exact location of the facility?" Spock asks and everybody stops walking, turning their gazes towards Hendorff.

The man sighs underneath the pressure, "Not exactly."

Whines and complaints rise from the others, but it's McCoy's angry tone of voice that silences them, "Then what the hell are we doing here? You said you could take us to them!"

"I can-and I will! It just takes time. I know it's here, it's underground though." Hendorff explains hurriedly, taking a step back away from the Doctor, whose hands have curled into tight fists. Spock intervenes, "Doctor, violence is not necessary."

Leonard glares at Spock then back to Hendorff before sighing, letting his tense muscles relax. Hendorff nods, "Section 31 requires that its officers report in once a month. I missed the deadline since I was in your custody. So when I reach out to them, it'll take some time. They'll probably be spooked when they find out that I brought you guys with me."

"How are we going to contact them?" Sulu says.

Lieutenant Hendorff huffs, "There's an encrypted phone in the safe house, from there I'll be able to communicate with them. Explain the situation and set up a meeting."

"That'll be most sufficient." Spock replies with the dip of his head and waves Hendorff on to guide them there.

The Lieutenant just nods his head and they all follow, but not blindly. McCoy and Sulu especially, keep their hand over their phaser, prepared for anything that Hendorff might throw at them. But nothing happens. It only takes ten minutes to get to the safe house and Hendorff simply punches in his code to gain excess. Once inside, they all get settled, who knew this is the place they're going to be staying for the next couple of weeks?

It starts with Hendorff's failed attempts of trying to get a hold of them. As much as McCoy wants to blame it on the man, he really can't. It's not Hendorff's fault that his employers are ignoring him, more than likely because they're with him.

When the fifth day of no luck rolls around, McCoy has grown restless. He and Scotty the night before had gotten some drinks, so currently he's nursing a mighty headache as he sits up on the couch. Beside him is Spock meditating and on the couch across is Uhura, sprawled out in slumber. Quiet hushed giggles come from the kitchen, who houses Sulu, Chekov, and Hendorff, with Scotty passed out on the table. Carol Marcus sits in one of the chairs beside the table, quietly scrolling through her PADD like she had done on the shuttle ride here.

"Any news?" Leonard grounds out as he stands and instantly the laughter dies down, "No, not yet." Hendorff informs him, casting his gaze to the floor.

The Doctor just grunts in response and makes his way next to Carol. The blond woman only offers a small smile as he sits down with a huff, smelling heavily of liquor from the night before.

"We can't wait here forever." Carol points out, turning off her PADD to look at him instead, with dark searching eyes. McCoy shifts in his chair, "I know, but we can't get anywhere until Section 31 reveals itself."

"But we can threaten them." Carol replies.

Leonard sighs, scratching at his now full grown beard, "You know very well that all threats will be just bluffs. The Federation would never expose them; it'll be the end of them both."

"Yes, but we're not the Federation and we have General Toq who'd gladly take an interview on live television."

He hums, thinking about it, "The Federation would never allow it."

"Who says we have to tell them?" Carol insists, gazing up into his brown eyes.

"Doctor, Marcus is correct. The only way to draw them out is threatening them," Spock agrees as he gets up, hands sliding behind his back.

"Okay, we give them a deadline, two days." McCoy suggests, but Hendorff shakes his head, "They'll need more time than that. My employer has higher ups himself that he reports to; it'll take at least four days for them to come to a conclusion."

"Then I guess they're just gonna have to double time it."

Even with the short deadline, setbacks occur even after Section 31 agrees to send Officer Huss as its representative. The two groups disagree on every location possible, consuming about a week's worth of time until they come to consensus. They decide to meet on Saturday, in a public restaurant, but they can only send one person over, or the deal is off.

Of course McCoy argues the whole time about him being the one to go, but ultimately the task falls onto Spock. So now the grumpy Doctor waits for Spock to return, while everyone else takes a snooze or eats some lunch.

When Spock does come back, it's five hours later.

"Spock there you are, we were beginning to worry!" Uhura exclaims and gives him a hug, which he returns rather robotically.

"How'd it go?" Carol asks anxiously and everyone nods, they want to know.

Spock glances at all of them briefly, "Officer Huss and I were able to come to an agreement. Jim Kirk will be returned and all plans meaning to bring harm to the Captain will be discontinued if and only if, Lieutenant Hendorff is allowed to return to duty, Admiral Ward is released into their custody and the world continues to know not of Section 31's existence."

"Unbelievable." Leonard growls, plopping down onto the couch beside Scotty.

"Those are the terms Doctor." Spock states plainly before continuing, "I shall meet with him once more in two weeks to review the official document and sign it."

"Two weeks?" Chekov gasps, shaking his head miserably, he just wants it to be over with, they all do.

"I must contact Admiral Archer to see if these demands can be met." Spock excuses himself, leaving them all to wonder; just how long will it take?

The next two weeks seem to last two decades as they sit around and wait. Luckily approval from the Federation Council is rather quick, but Section 31 on the other hand takes their sweet time. This thus leaves a restless Enterprise Crew.

Sulu and Chekov get a video game station and find some of the ancient games. Scotty and Leonard make a vow to stop drinking, they both struggle but they pull through. Carol and Uhura supply all the food, most of the time going shopping by dragging Spock with them, who declares shopping 'illogical'. Hendorff on the other hand, mopes around, not allowed to leave the safe house and at least one person has to watch him, just in case he tries to escape despite all his protests.

When Spock actually goes to sign the document, November rolls around, bringing the cold with it, though after it's signing, Section 31 declares it needs at least a month for the information to be processed and accepted by 31's council. The vulcan had agreed reluctantly, but as long as they get Jim he's fine with it.

The gang is then sent back to San Francisco, where they settle for the next month and a half. Though, the crew busies themselves quite well, and when the time comes for them too actually go get Jim, they're all busy, but one southern Doctor.

It's nearly eight months later since April 25th, the day Jim was kidnapped. On December 23rd Leonard prepares to leave to New Jersey. Admiral Archer has already gotten him a hotel to stay in and a shuttle to ride across the states. Damn, did it really have to be all the way in New Jersey?

But so it begins.

This is his story. This is how it starts, with him walking out into the morning air of December 23rd, two days before Christmas. The morning air is crisp, but is refreshing to his lungs as he breathes it in. He's strolling out of his hotel room in San Francisco and heading into the shuttle Archer has provided him with.

Leonard's got everything he can think of. All his luggage, including his PADD and Jim's old academy hoodie. The flight is long, consuming his whole day, despite the fact he left early in the morning he arrives at night. When he reaches New Jersey, his shuttle drops him off at his next hotel. The Doctor simply says his thanks and departs into the night air of the city.

He sighs before entering his hotel room, welcoming the warmth of the building as he steps inside.

"Hello, sir. How may I help you tonight?" A hotel employee greets him kindly from behind the desk. McCoy walks over slowly, keeping his things close, "Uhh, Leonard McCoy, I believe I have a room checked out."

The man scrolls through some information and takes a quick glance at McCoy to confirm the ID on his screen, "Alright, room two thirty-four, that'll be upstairs and on the right hand side." The gentleman informs him as he hands over the keys.

"Thank you." Leonard smiles and walks away, keys jingling within his grasp.

He makes it into his room quickly, dumping his belongings on the floor beside the bed. Leonard kicks off his boots and jacket and crawls into bed, desperately trying to find the much needed sleep, but it doesn't come. He hasn't been able to sleep for the past week; apparently the excitement of getting Jim has gotten to him.

Instead of sleeping, the Doctor huffs and gets a razor and shaving cream. He spends his night shaving his face clean of his beard. Leonard even grabs a pair of scissors and trims his hair while he's at it. If he's supposed to be picking up Jim in twenty hours, he's gonna look good while doing it.

By the time he's cleaned the floor, taken a shower and has dressed appropriately, he finds the sun rising above the buildings.

Leonard enjoys his small breakfast of coffee and biscuits, all alone in his room. Unfortunately he'll be the only going to get Jim.

Sulu and Chekov are somewhere along the Mississippi River, god only knows where, on their way to help Leonard, though they're taking the scenic route over that's for sure. Spock is somewhere caught in San Francisco, answering all the goddamn press questions, desperately trying to cover their asses along with the help of Admiral Archer, Carol and Uhura. While Scotty is somewhere on the Enterprise, working on getting her landed in southern California. This only leaves Leonard to pick up Jim.

He sighs, pushing away his food and drink, finding the coffee distasteful on his tongue and the food only serving to upset his stomach. Leonard passes the time with reading, swiping through news reports on his PADD while he waits for the clock to strike ten pm. He even rereads the whole document, claiming his rights to Jim Kirk. It's as if he owns Jim now, as if he's the kid's 'legal guardian'. Though considering Jim's past, it wouldn't be a bad idea. Leonard's already listed as the kid's emergency contact rather than his own mother, Winona Kirk.

When the clock strikes ten, he grabs Jim's academy hoodie and his PADD. He locks up his hotel room and makes his way outside where a shuttle awaits his arrival. Officer Huss steps out once he's a couple feet away from the door handle.

"Mister McCoy." Huss greets, reaching out to shake his hand. McCoy takes it with disdain, "Please, just Doctor. Mister makes me sound old."

Officer Huss nods knowingly and leads him away into the jet black shuttle with tinted windows. Not suspicious at all. McCoy gets seated and buckles himself in, followed by Officer Huss. Why Huss works with Section 31 Leonard will never know. There are many things that go unanswered within these eight months, for comprehensions beyond the Doctor himself. It takes time, but the reason why the Federation is so adamant about helping them uproot Section 31 is for one reason, National Security. Section 31 in all its corruptness, does do Starfleet some good. Though at times they do get out of hand, such as whenever they've tried to kill Jim. But other than that, there's really no reason to get rid of them. Though Leonard begs to differ.

Section 31 also is very difficult to work with. Supposedly a secret, the black operation likes to remain in the shadows and not reveal themselves. But now with Admiral Ward and General Toq, they can be easily exposed if needed. Then again, the world is not ready for that information; they don't need to know that dark side of the Federation, not yet. Leonard just thinks it's funny that a simple threat has gotten Section 31 to reveal itself to them, but it would've been easier if the damn operation would've just came to them though.

When Spock had asked why Section 31 wouldn't respond and only did something when threatened, during their meeting to get the document signed, Officer Huss had replied with a laugh, "Because it was fun watching you". So Huss had been planning on giving the Captain back, well, he planned on doing so the moment he realized the crew was out to get him. Luckily for the Enterprise crew they had two valuable weapons, General Toq and Admiral Ward. Though they were small pawns on a giant chess board, their testimonies, exposing a vulnerable Section 31 would tear the organization apart. All their dirty secrets would leak out to the public and the world would know the truth behind Starfleet's poster boy, they'd know the truth behind Admiral Marcus, and would learn of General Toq's very existence.

Which draws Leonard to a conclusion, just why? Was Section 31 filled with so much hate and resentment that they had to get even with Jim? Was there a bigger scheme to all of this? Are they just a pawn on the playing field or was this it? Was Kodos part of this or was that General Toq's own doing? Did Section 31 just seize the opportunity and kidnap Jim or was it planned?

These questions go unanswered as they settle with McCoy's mind and he has to just accept the fact that some things don't get resolved.

He shifts in his seat, daring a glance over at Officer Huss who has been staring at him intently, "What?" Leonard drawls out heavily, finding slight discomfort underneath the man's penetrating gaze. Who knew Jim's interrogator would be the same man to help run the place.

"You seem troubled." Huss comments, blinking blankly several times.

Leonard hums, "Maybe because you have had my friend locked up in your basement for the past eight months."

Huss' eyes narrow quizzically at him, "I've taken good care of him." Leonard snorts dramatically, "Why do you even have him in the first place? I thought you were going to kill him."

The officer chuckles lightly, "Why would I kill him Doctor McCoy?" Leonard's hands tighten into fists, "I don't know, I'm not the sadistic bastard that kidnapped someone's best friend, so you tell me."

"Doctor, I would not kill Jim Kirk. I simply, used him."

The Doctor takes a calming breath, "For what?" Huss adjusts himself slowly, "Oh, just getting information, that's all."

"Why?"

Officer Huss huffs and rubs his temple soothingly, "You ask a lot of questions don't you?"

"Why?" McCoy reiterates and Huss gives in, "Doctor McCoy, Section 31 holds its secrecy in high regards. Jim Kirk's discovery of the Toq Incident exposed us; we had to make sure nothing leaked. So, to make sure I sent my men, they swooped up and picked him up off of that godforsaken planet and I questioned him myself."

"You did all of this just to make sure nothing got out?" Leonard cries out in disbelief, but Huss shakes his head, "Not entirely, I guess we do have a bit of a vendetta against the Captain, he did manage to shutdown two of our Admirals and lock up both Khan and Toq. Plus, your blonde is notorious for lying. So I went truth-searching."

"Good god man, you guys are really messed up." Leonard says breathlessly, putting his face into his hands to rub the exhaustion from his face.

"Perhaps, but we've done many good things, many of which you'll never know of." Huss retaliates; taking a glance through the tinted window to determine how much longer it'll be until their arrival.

"Is that supposed to comfort me?"

Officer Huss draws a breath, glaring back over at the Doctor, waiting for the worn man to meet his gaze, "Doctor McCoy, just be thankful that you get Jim Kirk back. In the original plan, Kirk wasn't going to see sunlight for the rest of his life."

McCoy swallows, "Originally, how did you think you were going to keep him from me?" Huss keeps the intense gaze, not missing a beat, "General Toq wasn't supposed to be there."

Leonard's heart twists. It's true, without General Toq, they would never have guessed Section 31 would be behind their Captain's disappearance. Jim would've been declared dead, MIA.

"If it weren't for him Doctor, you wouldn't be getting your poster boy back." Huss continues, breaking off the staring contest, settling for something just outside the darkened windows. "Toq has helped us in more ways than just one." McCoy mutters, truly beginning to think about it.

Huss just nods, "If he didn't have that honor code, which I find unusual for his kind, Jim Kirk probably would be either demoted or kicked out of Starfleet altogether."

Leonard hums in thought, letting the silence consume them for the rest of the ride there. When the vehicle stops, he grabs his PADD and the sweatshirt, stepping out of the shuttle first, followed closely by Officer Huss who immediately begins to lead the way through, taking him through a quick security scan before entering the poorly lit facility. Though as they go deeper into the tunnels, the walls begin to shift into a blinding white color.

Huss uses his badge to get through the medical doors, which Leonard finds the place to look more like an asylum than a medical wing. He's pretty sure he saw a bloodstain or two.

"Doctor McCoy, this is Agent Hallock, he'll show you the rest of the way." Huss introduces the man with the wave of his arm.

Leonard looks over at the man, only to see a figure wearing an all black suit, his face obscured in the visor, "Nice suit." He comments dryly.

"It's to conceal their identities. It's for their own safety Doctor." Officer Huss swiftly defends, "Go ahead agent, take him to Jim Kirk's cell, he's taking Kirk with him."

"Yes sir." Hallock replies and guides McCoy away, through the maze of hall ways, all with the same bright white walls, which are becoming unbearable the more he stares at it. "This way sir," The agent snatches his arm and steers him the other way, but McCoy shrugs him off, "Don't touch me." Leonard grumbles and tries to gain his bearings but the closer to Jim he gets the more agitated he becomes.

"So, you're here for Jim Kirk?" The man inquires, stopping at another door and entering a code into a nearby panel to open it. "Yes, he's coming with me."

Hallock stares at him skeptically, "Here, do you want to see the proof?" McCoy snaps, pulling up the signed document on his PADD.

"No sir, it's okay." Hallock sighs and places a hand on the Doctor's arm to steer him into the last turn, but the Doctor reacts poorly, "I can walk myself, thank you very much!" Leonard growls, brushing away the man's hand once more.

"I'm sorry sir." Agent Hallock replies and walks up to the door, but he pauses before opening it, only infuriating Doctor McCoy further, "Now please sir, he's not stable, let me go in with you."

Leonard's face turns red with rage, "Oh screw off. It's your fault he's like this in the first place. You damn sadistic bastards. Here, do I have to show you this again?" He sneers, once more flashing his PADD in Hallock's face, "Because I'm taking him home. He's coming with me! Did you get that through you're thick skull?"

Agent Hallock groans inwardly, "Yes sir, I did, now please step back so I may open the door."

McCoy does as he's told and takes a step back to watch the door swing open, "Thank you," He grumbles sarcastically and steps inside, searching for his friend, but there's a slight panic in chest.

Heart pounding, he almost misses those precious baby blue eyes gazing up at him.

Leonard turns all the way around to face his best friend and the smile that springs onto Jim's face is enough to send him to tears. There's a half snort-ish sob that escapes Leonard's mouth as he takes a step forward, seeing the slight hesitation on Jim's face. Until finally the blond pulls it together and whispers the name Leonard's been longing to hear every since that night in the cell.

"Bones."

Jim's voice cracks halfway through, sounding dry and unused.

Leonard nods fiercely, tears running tracks down his cheeks. He blinks trying to clear his vision, but it's futile, the tears of pain, happiness, and guilt are flooding out, "Yes, Jim. It's me. It's Bones."

Within that moment Jim lurches forward from his position in the corner of the room, fully embracing Bones into a hug. Bones instantly starts sobbing into his shoulder, holding onto him so dearly that new life surges into Jim's soul, giving him a sense of purpose. The first time in eight months.

"Jim I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Bones rambles, stroking Jim's freshly cut hair back. The blond simply squeezes him back in reassurance.

Then silence falls over them, Bones not willing to let go, until finally Jim peels apart, eyes brimming with unshed tears, "Bones, what day is it?" He asks weakly, his throat as rough as sandpaper.

Bones splutters, "Wha-what?"

"What day is it?" Jim repeats, gripping Bones' shirt tightly in his hands, searching into his eyes deeply as if the question is all that matters now. "It's uhh…" Bones trails off as he looks down at the dropped PADD on the floor, lying on top of the hoodie. Bones had left December 24th, it's currently December 25th, 12:01 am. "Jim, its Christmas. Today is Christmas." Bones tells him gently.

Jim smiles and nods, satisfied with the answer.

"Damn kid." Bones murmurs, grabbing the discarded hoodie and yanking it over Jim's head, helping him get his arms in the sleeves. Though the hoodie is far too big for him now, not only because of the dramatic weight loss, but because General Toq had stretched it out when he had worn it.

Jim grins and lets Bones help him to his feet. Together the two walk side by side, Agent Hallock leading them out of the medical wing until Officer Huss meets them once more and shows them the way out.

"Goodbye Captain. Doctor McCoy." Huss says and gestures towards the shuttle that has pulled up to take them away.

The Doctor simply grunts and guides Jim inside. They sit down and the door slides shut. The blond jumps when they start moving and presses himself into Bones, finding comfort in his friend. Bones looks down at him. Jim's small, very small. Bags have formed underneath those bright blue eyes and there's various bruises littering his body, displaying his mistreatment.

What exactly has Jim been through? All the psychological issues he's going to have. It's not fair. Why Jim? Because the universe said so. Bones can't help but wonder, will Jim make it? Will the blond do the impossible and pull through? Or will he fall through the cracks and slip from Bones' arms? Will Jim leave the lost and become found? Only if Bones knew the answers.

He sighs, wrapping his arm around Jim and shuts his eyes, until the shuttle comes to a stop and the security men order them out. The Doctor grumbles his complaints as he steps out with his Captain at his side.

Jim watches the black shuttle zip away, until Bones softly pulls on him to walk away. Snagged from his mind, the blond snatches Bones' shirt and squishes himself into the Doctor's side, flinching at every moving object and flickering shadow.

Bones' heart breaks. What have they done to Jim?

"Shh, Jim it's alright." Bones comforts, slinging an arm around Jim's shoulders in hopes of easing the tension.

Jim gazes into his eyes, "I thought I was never going to see you again."

Bones lets out a small gasp, "Jim, I'd never leave you behind. How could you think that?" The blond's eyes fall downcast, "I was there for so long Bones…and so alone." Jim's voice trembles and the emotions surge up and he struggles to keep them at bay.

The Doctor pauses, grasping Jim by the shoulders, searching the blond's eyes, seeing all the terrors behind them, the built up pain, the loneliness, the hurt, all of it, "Jim, you don't have to be strong anymore. It's okay to cry. I'm here…I'm holding onto you kid. I gotch'you."

Jim's face becomes a showcase of rampant emotions, scurrying through the blond's mind. Bones sucks in a breath and slides a hand behind Jim's head, feeling the soft golden hairs beneath his fingertips, and draws the blond closer until he can press a gentle kiss onto his forehead. Its then, through Bones' display of brotherly affection, Jim breaks, letting the pathetic sobs surge through his beyond depleted body.

"That's it kid, let it all out." Bones whispers, wrapping his arms around Jim and pushing the blond's head down onto his shoulder.

The blond clutches onto him tightly, his whole frame shuddering with each sharp intake of breath. Though the moment is intimate, Bones can only find peace within it. Then miraculously, glittery fluffs of snow litter down, landing into Jim's golden hair.

"Shh, it's alright. Everything's going to be alright kid." Bones soothes, stroking the blond hairs back, but Jim's sobs only hit him harder as the weight of the world crashes down at his feet.

"Merry Christmas Jim, Merry Christmas." Bones cries with a hint of laughter thrown into the mix and Jim begins to laugh as well, "Merry Christmas Bones." If Bones had to decide on the best Christmas gift, this one is by far the best.

"There you go kid." Bones says quietly, humming tenderly into Jim's ear. The blond releases a few shaky gasps as he tries to control his breathing through the cries.

"Bones, I was so scared." Jim admits, lips quivering, either from the cold or the catastrophic trepidation raging through his frail body, or both. "It's okay, I'm here now." Bones reassures, breathing in Jim's scent.

"C'mon, let's sit down." The Doctor offers and they both plop down onto the side of the road, snow slowly falling from the sky, bringing the winter wonderland to their feet.

Jim's gaze fixates onto the road, hands nervously ringing themselves as he slightly rocks himself. Bones slings an arm around his shoulders and brings him closer until Jim's body is pressed up against his and he can feel each breath the blond sucks in.

The tension in Jim's back slowly melts away once the Doctor's expert hand finds its way into his hair, gently toiling it until his eyelids are drooping. But Jim fights the exhaustion that is now trying to overcome him.

"Don't fight it kid." Bones murmurs into his ear, planting another kiss, only this time it's in the blond's soft hair.

Bones isn't quite sure why the kissing is coming about, but he assumes it's just all the excitement of getting Jim back in his life. The kind kisses explain things that Bones simply cannot put into words.

As Jim falls asleep up against Bones' side, a hover car pulls up onto the edge of the road, window rolling down to reveal Sulu and Chekov, "Need a ride?" Sulu calls out, revving the engine.

Bones shakes his head incredulously, "Unbelievable. Thought you guys drowned in the Mississippi."

"We did too." Sulu replies with a chuckle.

The Doctor then proceeds to scoop the blond up into his arms and smoothly places him inside the vehicle. But as Bones gets inside, Jim's bright blue eyes peel open and he smiles at his friends. "Captain! I'm glad to see you!" Chekov squeals excitedly, but seeing the look Bones gives him, warns him not to take it too far.

Jim is far from stable.

"You too Pavel." Jim replies and stretches a yawn; he's physically and mentally worn.

Out of instinct, Jim curls up into a ball in the middle of the seat, but Bones shakes his head disapprovingly and brings him back up. "Here, do you guys have a blanket?" Bones asks as he buckles Jim into the seat, which clearly sends panic into the tired blond, "It's alright Jim, it's just a seat buckle."

But Jim shakes his head and fights it. "Okay, okay. Fine you win." Bones gives in and sighs hoarsely.

"Here's the blanket." Chekov says and hands it over with a toss.

Bones catches it with a nod of gratitude and lays it over Jim as the blond snuggles back down, his head resting on the Doctor's leg.

"Ready to go back there?" Sulu questions, taking a quick glance over his shoulder to see an already sleeping Captain, head resting in the baffled Doctor's lap.

The Doctor just nods, running a hand over his face, "Apparently so."

"Alright, let's go home." Sulu starts the hover car back up and he makes a U-turn.

"Though, we do need to stop by my hotel room. I got a bunch of crap back there."

Sulu grins, "Of course Doctor."

Bones glances down at the head full of hair, going back to tossing the golden hairs back and forth. How he wishes to promise Jim that he'll never lose him again. But they both know that's not true. Their job description wouldn't allow such a promise. It'll be made only to be broken.

Their trip home doesn't take them too long. They drive all the way back to Mississippi, of course after they had stopped at Bones' room to get his things, to return the rented car and they call Scotty to beam them up, which he does with great pleasure. Bones now finds himself with an armful of Captain, with Sulu and Chekov materializing right beside him. Uhura, Spock, Keenser, Nurse Chapel and Scotty are there to greet them when they step off.

The smiles that light up onto their faces cause tears to prickle in Bones' eyes, though he'll never admit it. Even Spock can't stop the smile that curves graciously onto his lips. Jim would've been proud if he had seen it. As they rush near, Bones shoos them away.

"Nurse Chapel, we need to get him to Sickbay."

Christine nods quickly and drags the stretcher that she has been keeping beside her just in case. Bones then curses himself, why didn't he bring his medkit with him? Apparently he just got so thrilled to get Jim back he had forgotten. For once in his life, he came to Jim as a friend first instead of a Doctor.

"Bring him here Len. Oh the poor thing. Looks thinner than a beam pole!" Chapel cries as she helps Bones lay him down on the stretcher.

They then begin to push him down the corridor, with the rest of the crew following. The crew is like a ghost looming over the two medical workers' shoulders. But they give the two enough room to work around them. While Bones and Chapel hook Jim up into a bio-bed, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Keenser manage to bring two couches and couple of chairs for them all to sit on.

Bones draws a breath. Jim, physically is fine, mentally however is a different story. Though something about the way had Jim smiled tells him that the kid will bounce back. He always does.

"Len, why don't you go take a shower. You look beat." Uhura offers, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Bones splutters, "I can't leave Jim! He'll need me when he wakes up."

Spock raises an eyebrow at him, "Doctor, I believe we are very capable of looking after our Captain."

"Fine…"

No longer capable of arguing, Bones does as he's told and showers quickly, changing into a pair of fresh clothes, and returning rather slowly to Jim's room. As he approaches, he can hear Jim's laughter echoing through the empty halls of Sickbay. At first Bones thinks he's gone mad and cleans out his ears to make sure he's hearing correctly.

"…it was great. So instead Bones grabs me and takes me back to my own room. But when we open the door, there's at least a hundred tribbles, scattered everywhere!" Jim exclaims, barely holding back his own chuckles as his friends around him laugh heartily at his academy story,

The crew is seated around him; Scotty, Sulu, Chekov and Keenser are all jammed onto one couch, while Spock sits on the opposite couch with Nurse Chapel and Nyota. They're all staring with wide eyes at their blond Captain, listening with great anticipation, hanging onto every single word that drips from his lips.

"…and Bones just gives me that look and I was like, 'Do you see the baby tribbles now Bones?' and Bones looked like he was gonna rip my head off! He then says in his gruff southern voice that he usually has when he's grumpy, 'if you don't call the exterminator tomorrow, I'll exterminate you!'." Jim's laughing so hard he's crying now, along with everyone else who is wiping the joyful tears from their eyes, besides Spock, who only has a hint of a smirk on his face.

"Well, did you call the exterminator?" Chekov prompts and everyone murmurs in agreement.

Jim taps his chin in thought, "Uhh, I don't think so. I hired a friend of mine to catch them. Told him if he caught them I'd do his math homework for a month."

"Typical." Uhura replies while shaking her head.

"Did he tell you guys about the time he tried to bring a dog home?" Bones asks as he steps into the room, everyone looking over at him.

"Oh that's a great story! I should tell you guys that one." Jim says, bouncing in his bed.

Bones shakes his head at the sight, "How about another time Jim, you need to get some rest."

"But Bones." Jim protests, but the Doctor shakes his head no once more, "C'mon, everyone out, you can see the Captain later." Bones tells them and signals for all of them to leave.

Chekov comes to the Captain first, a smile sweetly on his lips, "Bye Keptin, see you later." Jim returns the smile with one of his own, "Later Chekov."

Then, Keenser squeezes through along with Scotty, "Hope you're feeling better tomorrow sir. Maybe we could get a drink?"

The blond chuckles lightly, "Probably not tomorrow but yeah, when I'm up for it, I'd like that drink." After them, Uhura comes beside him and as he opens his mouth to speak, she pushes a finger to his lips to silence him. Then, benevolently she kisses him on the cheek, "I'll see you later Captain."

"Of course." Jim replies, barely managing to recover his voice.

Nyota then leaves with a swish of her ponytail and Sulu takes her place, "I'm glad you're okay sir. Can't wait to see you back out on the Bridge."

"Me too Sulu." Jim shakes the man's hand and looks out to meet the next person.

It's Spock. The First Officer walks up, hands behind his back and a phantom of smile on his face. "Captain, I am happy to see that you are well."

Jim smirks, "You? Happy?"

"I was simply trying to use your vernacular to convey an idea." Spock defends himself, but his lips twitch slightly into a curve.

The blond huffs, "Missed you too Spock. Take care of them for me okay?"

"Of course, until you are back on your feet that is." Spock responds, dipping his head respectively before vanishing, leaving Chapel and Bones.

"I'll let you two be alone." Christine says, and turns to leave but Jim stops her, "Wait, Nurse Chapel." The blond nurse comes back, stepping beside the bio-bed, "Yes Captain?" She asks, grasping his reaching hand, "Thank you." Jim tells her.

"No problem sir, it's my job." Chapel says with a smile and then leaves the pair alone.

With everyone gone, just one drained Captain and one beat Doctor; Bones sighs and sits upon the edge of the bed, not meeting Jim's eyes. There's only silence for a few moments before Jim dares to break it.

"How long?"

Bones' attention snaps up to look at Jim, slightly puzzled by the question, until it dawns on him slowly, "Eight months."

"Shit…" Jim breathes, pulling at his golden hair, knees coming up to his chest, blocking out the world.

The Doctor huffs and draws his legs up onto the bed, crawling over to climb into the sheets beside Jim. The blond welcomes him with a comforted moan as he lets his head slump onto the Doctor's beating heart.

"Are you going to be okay? Are we going to be okay?" Bones wonders aloud, closing his eyes, feeling Jim shift closer to him to gather the warmth, "I think so."

Now it's Bones' turn to ask the question, "How long?"

Jim blows a breath through his nose, gripping Bones' shirt tightly, "As long as it takes me to feel alive again."

Its months later until Jim dubs himself as 'alive' again. After completing his psychological evaluation, the blond can't be happier as he literally skips onto the Bridge to greet his crew. Every single one of them gives him a hearty smile and tells him 'good morning Captain' something they've all dearly missed so much. Luckily for them, they have five years to make up for the eight months lost. Yes, that's right; the Enterprise is heading out into space for five years. Bones can't be grumpier.

Though, he's clearly puzzled, caught in the predicament that he decides to call Jimnology. The study of Jim. It was clear on Christmas day that Jim was broken, in need of desperate fixing, but here he is, only several months later, good as new. How is it possible? God only knows.

So instead of asking, Bones just stands there, secluded to the side, next to Spock's vacant station. Though the vulcan will show any minute now, for the Enterprise is preparing for takeoff, not to see Earth for another five years. God help them. Actually god help him, he's the only one on this damn tin can that wants off.

Uhura is already at her station, placing her communicator into her ear, with a beautiful smile on her lips as she dares a glance at her handsome Captain. Chekov and Sulu are back to giggling like middle school girls as they pass jokes between them. Scotty has invited himself onto the Bridge, standing somewhat to the right of Jim, glancing over a few statistics.

Then, the next moment Spock enters and the crew welcomes him with a few hellos. Spock simply nods and takes his spot, looking slightly astonished to see Bones standing beside his station instead of hovering over Jim's shoulder.

"Is something troubling you Doctor?" Spock asks quietly, following Bones' gaze to Jim's figure in the captain's chair.

Bones remains silent only briefly, "I don't get it Spock; I'm just so damn confused."

"About what Doctor?" Spock inquires, head tilting, already intrigued. The Doctor sighs, almost feeling guilty for the words that are about to leave his mouth, "Jim, why isn't he broken? How does he move on from everything? It just confuses me Spock."

"Confusing it may be Doctor, but have you ever considered that Jim is no longer broken because he is no longer without his bones?"

Bones opens his mouth to reply, but from across the Bridge he catches Jim's eye, the blond is slouching heavily in the captain's chair, one leg propped up on the other. His left hand, with its elbow against the armrest, scratches at his hairline. The Captain's right hand is gripping the edge of the seat in eager expectation. His eyes are gleaming with pride and they manage a few blinks Bones' way and its then that Jim smiles at him, that warm inviting smile that brings peace within Bones' chest. Bones finds himself speechless by the joy Jim now carries with him and his puzzlement slowly begins to dissolve with realization.

Jim, seeing that Bones is simply staring at him, offers him a charming wink before turning his attention to the viewing screen.

Then, Leonard sees it. He's no longer confused, it just makes sense.

It's him…it's Bones.

 **Author's Note: Thanks yall who've stayed and hung till the end. I tried to wrap things up the best I could. I hope it's satisfactory. So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and leave your thoughts in the reviews. This is my gift to you, sorry for the length though. Goodbye yall, and stay tuned for my new book, which has no name or plot yet but will come soon. Live Long and Prosper, and have a wonderful Christmas.**

 **p.s. The 5 year mission the Enterprise is about to leave for is the one that Beyond takes place during, so I just kinda reconnected the story.**

 **Thanks for being the best. This has been Commander Fiction, hopefully yall aren't Confused.**


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